Journey to the Abstract

Enjoy your projections in the moment.
This moment and flavor will never come back again as the projections take on an eternal dance between dualities.

It is like eternally changing music (sound), taste (food), picture and colors (visual), feelings (sensations). They are all changing within the earth paradigm and soon even the earth paradigm would change to another meta-paradigm and so on…following the hierarchy all the way upto God.

Along with this infinite change, we are also whole at each moment, transitioning from one whole to another whole.
Behind the movement, if we see a dimension above change, is the unchanging awareness.
I am free falling from whole to another whole, eternally.
There is nothing to protect, nothing to become, nothing to be, nothing to do, nowhere to go.
You just are THISssss …….falling.
Free falling into experience.

What is power?
The ability to alter/change one’s own experience is power.
Belief is what carries the ability to alter/change experience.
So belief is a kind of power.
Belief/Faith can move mountains, is really true.

Another way to put it would be:
Appearances of potential energy in your consciousness = power.
Because every potential energy appearance has the power to turn into manifestation.
Greater the potential energy appearance, greater the power to manifest from it.
Now these potential energy appearances can appear to be stable or fleeting.
Once a particular power leaves you even for a moment, you realize that it is not yours, not permanent, and that it can be taken away.

All expectations are expectations of potentials/powers.
Its up to you to look inside yourself and feel, to see if you genuinely have those expected potentials or not.
After all, what are you but the sum of your potential energies?

– Even a belief of “I can do this” is power, because it is the seeing of your potential to accomplish that task.
– ‘Interest’ is power too. “I can figure it out for sure OR I would love to figure this out”. Interest is the power/potential to acquire powers of knowledge.
– Knowledge too is power. “I know I can do this” is power too. Knowledge is the power to know how to accomplish a goal.
– Even capacity to hold on to knowledge is a power. It is the power of retention.
– Receiving and Giving are 2 different powers.
– Money is power – because it is potential for experiences (expected experiences) that money can buy.
– Accumulation of knowledge, money, social connections, drugs are all attempts to capture potential experiences/capture powers.
– All capacities/potentials for experience are powers.
– There is both power in depth and power in breath. (You can know a little of everything or know some things deeply for instance).

The power of sustained attention is required to enjoy something.
We get these attention powers from coffee, alcohol, weed.
Each drugs grants certain powers of experience as long as it is active.

Living each moment entirely and expressing all your power potentials completely at each moment is ecstasy. But this also requires all energies in your experience to be in harmony.
[Full Expression + Harmony] = Ecstasy, Wonder, Beauty.

The important note here is, “power” is your experience, power is an experience by itself. The source of power lies within, not outside.

Everything is subject to divine laws of causation:
What goes up, goes down.
What goes down, goes up.
Awake – Sleep
High – Low
Excitement – Boredom
Intense work – Intense relaxation
Turmoil – Peace
Interest – Disinterest
Everything is going in cycles.
The dualities are cycling like a pendulum.

Each movement creates the potential for movement in the opposite direction.
Like when the pendulum goes left it accumulates potential to move to the right, reaches a peak, then starts moving to the right, now gathering potential to move towards the left. The net energy equation between [kinetic, potential] stays constant. Similarly, the divine energy runs its cycles keeping the net equation the same.

Just like everyday you sleep, the deeper you sleep, the greater is the potential energy gathered for manifesting your day.
Also the harder you work in the day, greater is the potential gathered for sleep.

The idea is to find the transcendent qualities, and then finally transcend even those to reach the source:
LOVE = {love, hate}
PEACE = {peace, turmoil}
TRUST = {trust, mistrust}
BEING = {being, non-being}
Finally SOURCE(∞) = {LOVE, PEACE, TRUST, BEING}

My new mantra:
NOTHING ‘IS’

I am NOT.
Anything that appears
All I know is
I am NOT

Nothing is permanent
Nothing is enduring
Nothing is lasting
Nothing is real
Nothing exists

There is just a changing Nothing
Changing into various empty forms
All there is, is this Nothing.
Nothing apart from this Nothing ever was.

Everything is just made up of this Nothing
This Nothing plays out dream experiences
And experiences itself through its dream forms
But just like all dreams, everything is not real or true

Nothing is all there is.
Nothing ‘IS’
What this Nothing is!
Nobody knows
Nobody can know
It is a mystery

I am this Nothing
I am this Mystery
I cannot know myself
Because I cannot know what this Nothing is
Because even my knowing
is only one of the empty appearances in this Nothing
All my knowing is but empty appearances inside this Nothing
But what is this Nothing?

I am IT
The indescribable unknown IT
The IT that is Nothing
I am IT just like
a flame cannot burn itself
I can only abide in my nature.

The energy that upholds existence is love.
The energy that allows something to exist is love.
The energy that gives strength for something to exist is love.
The ‘What Is’ experience you are having right now exists because of love.
(which includes your self, which is part of ‘What is’)
Another way to put it would be, all creation is from love.
All existence is a creation.

The fact that YOU exist is itself a testament of that love.
Because all existence is from love (the love of god, or love of the all encompassing nature of reality).
That way, every experience you have is from love, why? because it exists.
This includes everything good/bad, turmoil/pleasure, everything.
Every appearance has love behind it.
I could call love, the ‘energy of existence’ itself (to remove its romantic connotations).

Another way to put it would be ‘Desire = Love’.
The entirety of your experience is God’s desire
(or you could say, your higher self desire, because god is whatever ceiling we can perceive, which is basically our own higher nature).
To live in this field of love, is to align one’s awareness/perception to God’s desire.
It is sublimating personal desires into God’s desire which is existence itself.

About Parents and their want/desire/love for you:

Love, want, desire = are all pretty much the same.

2 questions sum up what your life experience would be:
1. How much did your parents WANT you?
2. What do they WANT you for?

for 1., it is quantity of love available for 2.
for 2., if they want you for YOU, you have the best love in quality.
If they want you for an image, you have only love for an image.
The former creates the personality in line with the true self.
The latter creates a false self personality which is disconnected from the greater life force driving the being.

All knowledge is empty (It is only an appearance)
All identity is empty (It is only an appearance)
All experience is empty

The dark night of the soul is empty (It is just an appearance)
The illuminated state of mind is empty
Both suffering/pain and pleasure/joy are empty

Light/Day is empty
Darkness/night is empty
Both expanded and narrow consciousness are empty
All worlds are empty – physical, mental, emotional
(They are all changing appearances)

Everything is empty
Everything is an appearance
Nothing is true/real/substance/essence
The only thing that is true is ‘THAT’ (the Dao)

Everything is just the brilliant mysterious emptiness
Appearing as various forms, objects, people, worlds
All experience is like music
A pattern that forms, changes, takes on all kinds of qualities
And fades back into the quality-less silence, the unborn, the unmanifest.

No matter how much I read, understand, no matter how glorious my knowledge is, I still don’t know anything NOW apart from what appears to me NOW. All I can say is I once knew. That is not my appearance anymore. I appear to know NOW. It may disappear in the future appearance.

But this can be said about everything right, maybe you have lived through every conceivable experience in the past spanning a million years. But everything can simply disappear NOW. So the truth is ‘NOTHINGNESS’, nothing is true, no appearance is “IT”. All appearances are moved by the unknowable god reality. So I may appear to believe in something, I may appear to seek knowledge, I may appear to seek structure, I may appear to enlarge structure – help other people, setup large organizations, influence the whole world – but at the same time, I may appear to lose everything, lose the larger structure, lose my own personality structure itself, lose all belief, and come back to total nothingness like deep sleep.

So if I cannot hold on to anything, then what am I? I just have to flow as me. The me is so paper thin, it is just NOW. Everything else is what I recall from memory and my accomplishments of the past. I carry the past with me as a pride that I have done everything. But it is all maintained by maintaining structure. But the structure cannot exist without belief/revelation.

Dissolution is inevitable as you see the weight of structure you are carrying. At the same time belief creates structure. Who moves belief? – its God. So some people have large elaborate structures themselves and they fit into other larger structures and all this investment in becoming something in larger and larger structures. Its all about creating machines/structures with investment.

The reason why I feel completely alone, is because I am losing structure itself. I am unbecoming while everyone else is becoming. But what if you lost all belief? By the grace of god itself? then isn’t it logical you would lose structure too? Who are you apart from your structure? – Nobody, nothing. Just THIS. This THIS is so so so much lighter, empty, smaller, paper thin compared to my prior reality of a growing identity identity structure.

– All experience is analog (unlike digital – it is infinite, immeasurable, no-thing, not an object or comprising of objects), unique, all-encompassing, empty of essence (because it is changing even on the minutest scale – because the vibration/change is that which even makes it an experience).

– All experience moves by an unknowable divine algorithm/plan.
– But various appearances of knowing, insight, understanding, comprehension appear in the experiences.

– I can only BE this divine essence and flow with it in its mystery, I cannot know it. But I appear to know the appearances as they appear.

A train of thought I was having today. Folks might find it interesting

Knowledge of the world of men vs. knowledge of the world of God?

The knowledge in the world of men, is a layer that goes over knowledge of the world of god. It is the attempt to describe god’s various appearances.
But there is no knowledge in the world of God, there is simply 100% BEING in fearlessness. Nothing can be known in the world of God, because everything is an appearance, everything is a mystery.

Hmm, but you do have buddhic, sattvic, rajasic, tamasic gunas that appear in the world of god and these appearances can be known as they appear. But nevertheless, the true nature of everything is absolutely unknowable and a mystery. Its like I can know the apple picture shown in my computer screen, but the true nature of the ONE (the program behind the picture) animating the screen with appearances is unknowable.

Knowledge is possible only when you stand apart from being and reflect on what is seen in your mind. And then store those principles in your brain to protect you? We create an intellectual framework in this manner to function and protect ourselves. But in truth, even all that is an appearance, the intellectual framework and the knowledge that comes out of it.

If all appearances are a mystery, then knowledge we gain out of studying the appearances take 4 qualities:
– the tamasic world of materials/matter/machines/human body.
– Appearances of psychology, is the rajasic world of human psychology and emotion.
– Appearances of experiences/perceptions moment to moment is the sattvic world.
– And finally we call awareness the buddhic world, which is ever present.

The [buddhic, sattvic, rajasic, tamasic] are the broad qualities of the nature of appearances in this manifestation.
Almost like 4 layered worlds one on top of each other:
1. Material world, Human body, all machines
2. World of emotion and human psychology.
3. World of perception and experience.
4. World of awareness.
Its as if these 4 worlds are inhabited together in this manifestation.
The material world is the no most unchanging while the world of awareness is the most changing.

Spectrum:
Unchanging —-1————2—————3———–4—– Changing

What we call knowledge is mostly belonging to category 1 and 2 i.e. material world+human psychology.

The 3, 4 worlds get highly subjective, creative, more complex, diverse and more changing. So most people in the world consider that too abstract and therefore live their whole lives with structures from 1,2.

The world 3 is where we get into religion, philosophy, beliefs, ego and so on. I think world 3 is the height of what can be converted and expressed in the linguistic framework of language.

After 3, there is super rich experience, but ineffable. It cannot be reduced to language. Just like a 320kbps MP3 file if compressed to 16kbps will sounds horrible and blocky and will totally lose the original quality of the song/composition.

Then beyond 4, it is absolutely ineffable, venturing into mystical experiences, samadhis and so on.