Whose expectations determine our behavior and self?

Are others responding to what you expect from them? OR Are you responding to what others expect from you?
Are you conditioning others’ behavior? OR Are others conditioning your behavior?
Are we being the way we are because we are that way? OR as a response to what the other expects?
Do you expect to be treated a certain way? and that is why the other is simply fulfilling your own request? OR Are you simply behaving in accordance and taking on a role based on the other’s expectation?

These questions are like koans that lead you beyond.
Both sides are true.
Between the self and other, there is total mutual inter-relationship.
Deep psychoanalysis will at times tell you that if you are constantly abused then somewhere you are playing a 50% role of enabling it. You allow and attract such people and even allow their behavior because you want them to do that to you.
And the converse can also be explained. That if the other is a narcissistic bully he conditions your role i.e. to be a hostage for his rageaholic monologues etc.
So what is the truth?
Is your own expectation attracting such treatment? OR Is the bad other forcing you to behave that way to protect yourself?

Is our role and behavior in life conditioned by what others expect from us?
OR are others simply complying with what we expect from them?

Both are true and are simultaneous.
Since the mind can only grok one side at a time, we may bias ourselves to either seeing the self as responsible or other as responsible.
But in truth, both are happening simultaneously.
This simultaneity of occurrence cannot be grasped in one thought, it goes beyond the capacity of the linear mind to hold.
So we can examine only 1 at a time, but both are true.


From that higher level, we can see that there is only god.
The self, the other, their relationship, who is doing whom etc. is like the perspective puzzle of “Do you see 6 cubes or 7 cubes?”
The truth is – it is 6, it is 7, it is both, it is neither, all of the above, neither of the above, all of the above and beyond, neither of the above and beyond etc.

Heal the world by healing your inner images


You see intention everywhere in everyone’s faces.
They more often than not ‘mirror’ your own intentions towards them in the unconscious.
Does everyone want you to die? OR Does everyone want you to live happily?
What is their intention? as you see it.
It often mirrors the intention you carry for them in your unconscious.
In the unconscious, “It is a tooth for a tooth”, what you carry is projected as such.
So the way to heal your outer world, is from the intent/relationship you carry to the inner image of the world.
To heal others, first heal and connect the inner images you carry about them to god.
That is the chasm that has to be bridged by raising intelligence/understanding.
Current world view/view of others ——–chasm———– God
The outer is only a mirror of the inner space happenings which is closer to the source.

Pleasure is a relationship


Pleasure is from a “deep willingness” to “open/include/relate/connect/absorb/commune/merge” your “intelligence” with the other.
It is from the merging of 2 intelligences done willingly.
You “allow” yourself to “dance” and be “touched/moved/uplifted/transformed”.
This mutual interrelationship stirs the depths and plays a rhapsody.
There is a sense of timeless absorption, rapture, and bliss
This ecstasy of union is the highest pleasure.


Experiential Reality needs no proof

There is no proof needed for experiential reality.
The experience and the proof are one.
Because proof is to simply add a certification/validation/confirmatory wrapper over the raw information.
It is an additive layer that gives validity to the whole package – furnishing the package with proof and consequently certifying its validity too.
In experiential reality, the seeing is either present or absent.
If present then no proof is needed, it is already ascertained.

To become aware of something new, is expansion and realization of consciousness itself.
You either see it (realize it) or you don’t.
It is your sensitivity to see it or not.
Most practices are only invitations/favorable conditions to sensitize you to seeing certain spaces/phenomena OR they awaken certain sensitivities lying below your current threshold.

Fire the transformer

The principle of fire is within you.
Fire is the life force.
Fire + Space = Consciousness [Perception movement]
Fire + Air = Ordinary fire [Mind movement]
Fire + Water = Acid [Emotion movement]
Fire + Solid = Lava [Physical movement]
Fire is:
Destructive(if attached)——OR——Transforming(if non-attached)

Are you sure you want to be healed/cured/healthy?

Lets really dive deep into this matter.
Everyone assumes that their desire is always for a greater, better, and nicer life filled with health, vitality, exuberance, joy, prosperity, and riches.
That is the collective assumption each person holds about their innermost motivations.
But really? Are you sure? Have you ever REALLY looked inside and asked yourself if that is what you really want?
Maybe you want to be sick? Maybe you want to be seriously sick? Maybe you want to punish yourself to death? Maybe you want to end this entire life, that is commit suicide (suicide as an attitude, not the act per say)? Do you want to live a ‘living death’?
Is your innermost motivation to die? and facilitate dying in every possible way by constantly attracting severe and hostile circumstances to your life?
This may sound morbid, but the truth can be quite eye-opening if this is really examined without ASSUMING stuff just because it sounds normal or good.
Do you really want to get alright? OR Is there much more going on than just simply believing that?

Lets consider the 2 basic orientations:
Life drive ——————- Death drive
Life drive moves towards enhancing life while fearing death.
Death drive moves towards enhancing death while fearing life.
In a way both are orientations based on fear of the opposite.

I’ll speak about a few cases here.
In childhood, were you the spoilt child or the lost child?
Spoilt child —————- Neglected child
The spoilt child lets say becomes a narcissist, which means there is great love for the ‘self’ (whatever structure it has formed), and there is a desire to enhance the self at all costs even if it means sacrificing and destroying others.
The child then endlessly looks for ways of self-aggrandizement, glorification, beautification, and better survival OR he may become a fire-starter, notorious, attract negative attention etc.
Why? Because they value that structure of self so much.
This is actually an internalization of the “positive or negative parent attention” that was received.
Even if his life circumstance becomes terrible, he may wish for the destruction of the world and other people, create justified rage for everything(rage = anger, and anger cannot be there, unless there is desire, and desire cannot be there unless there is love(in this case for the self)).
However, he would still work towards preserving and enhancing himself to the hilt from the love of the self-image.

The profoundly neglected child on the other hand receives no parental attention at all.
It tends to develops a self that acts more like a martyr and also operates in a primary mood of despair.
The despair of having to put in a bunch of efforts to constantly survive in order to protect a worthless self anyway.
The profoundly neglected child may get burnt out later from all his martyrdom, and then retreat more and more into hermetic isolation with profound hatred/detachment towards everyone and everything.
The deeper truth about this is that, the parental rejection of him/her in childhood has been internalized as the self (phantom critic self) which then subjects the ‘real self’ to the same neglect and hostile attitude(of endless deprivation, slow poisoning, condemnation and punishment).
The message internalized is “We dont want you, nobody needs you here, you are a waste, you don’t deserve to exist, why don’t you just die and relieve us of the burden of having you around?”

Let’s talk more about the latter case.
Because narcissistic personalities abound in society and have been studied quite a bit.
But what has not received attention in my opinion are the silent people on the periphery living on the boundary between life and death – the profoundly neglected folk.

It does not matter how smart or erudite they may seem.
In fact more often than not, they are extremely knowledgable and intelligent too.
They become so, from all their efforts to overcome their own impossible inner critic.
The death drive(internalized phantom self critic), drives them to the height of accomplishment, but no amount of accomplishment is remotely enough for the death drive to be released.
That is why they are just assaulted from every direction with a sense of hopelessness, abandonment, isolation, despair, futility, pain no matter what they do, all of which only serves as distractions from avoiding the true harshness of their underlying condition.
It may lead to:
– compulsive isolation (because that is the only thing that feels safe), daydreaming, fantasy
– OR compulsive busyness
– OR martyrdom in the form of service for others
– OR belief in some kind of myth like “knowledge will free me” or “perfection in obeying laws is the answer” etc.
– OR may become a pleasure seeker.
There are different ways of coping with this condition, but the underlying cause is from “internalization of the rejecting neglecting other (parental figures or caregivers etc.)”
Nothing can redeem the ‘fallen self’ from the eyes of this ‘critical phantom self’. This phantom self is ruthlessly punishing and tormenting – so much, that the only real wish of the living self is for death which sets up the death drive.

So, if your condition is of the ‘neglected rejected self’ and if your ‘internalized myths’ are similar, then “failure = success”.
Changing your diet, lifestyle, doing yogic practices, exercise, herbs etc. whatever you do may not really REMOVE this shape shifting tyrannical monster that torments you from within.
Because the origin of the condition is from the MYTHIC level of consciousness.
Find out the root of your self-rejection.
It takes immense courage to face up to it, because all the other stuff actually is more of a distraction and patch-work compared to the true work of understanding the matrix of your own innermost intentions.

Stillness is relative, Analogies from astronomy

Stillness is relative.
You achieve stillness when you move at the same speed as the object you wish to have still in your vision.
To attain stillness with life, you have to move at the same speed as life.
This is done by ‘allowing’ all motion to happen.
In totally allowing yourself to be moved, your experience becomes still.
Since everything is moving, there is no absolute still point to observe from.
When you move in total alignment with the movement of god’s will(the will of the WHOLE}, creation appears STILL.

Lets take some general examples to fire up our wonder and imagination.

When you stand on earth, you are moving along with the earth(i.e. moving along with the frame of reference of the earth), therefore the earth(ground/scenery) appears to be still while the sky contents seem to be moving (stars moving, sun moving, moon moving, planets moving etc.).
Therefore to see the contents of the earth from a still point of view, you need to move with the earth.


Whereas if you stood still in the sky (i.e. a fixed point in the space, like say you were looking from a non-orbiting fixed space station close to the earth), the earth under you would be whirling at 28km/sec, while the sky contents would remain relatively still.

Generally the concept of objectivity refers to precisely this, to observe a system from a point of view that is outside of the system itself.
Because from a point of view outside of the system, the whole system can be observed as an “Object”. That is why the term “Objective”.


Similarly when observing the solar system, you have to move along with the whole solar system itself(i.e. move at the same speed as the entire solar system as it goes around the milky way) to have the solar system appear still in your vision.

There are profound implications to the metaphors/analogies presented above.
For instance, say you are perfectly indoctrinated into a religion.
Then that religion would become fixed for you, would appear still and eternal, as eternal truth, while everything else, such as the world, other people, other systems of belief etc. would seem to all revolve/change around this central frame of reference and appear empty.
This is similar to being on Earth (seeing Earth as real/ever-present) and viewing Venus in the sky as a passing possibility that comes up as a bright dot and goes back under the horizon. While the residents in Venus(would see Venus as real/ever-present) would see earth like a dot that moves in a certain way in the sky and vanish.
Each one would see their reality as real/truth/eternal/ever-present, and the other’s reality as a changing/empty arising-passing phenomena.

So if each one sees the changing outer world through the structure of his fixed eyes, then who is seeing the truth?
Again here, truth is relative.


For instance, an entity on Earth can see Venus from its point of view.
An entity on Venus can see Earth from its point of view.
But an entity that is outside of the solar system can see the entire solar system from its point of view. Which means this entity sees the patterns of both Earth and Venus, and the dance between them, and the interactions of other planets with them, and this is something that the ones on Earth or Venus cannot see OBJECTIVELY because they themselves are moving.
So is the entity outside of the solar system seeing greater and vaster truth compared to the ones on Earth or Venus? Yes!
Similarly an entity outside of the Milky Way can see the entire Galaxy and all its patterns, and this would be an even greater point of view than the entity that was outside the solar system.


Interestingly all the entities see an INFINITE PICTURE of INFINITE COMPLEXITY.
So there is a sort of fractal/holographic nature to this whole thing.