On Time, Identity, Desire, and Transformation

Time creates the identity,
Time maintains the identity,
Time exalts the identity,
Time destroys/changes/transforms the identity.

The desires we feel are a combination of 2 things:
1. The projection of the ‘current identity’ expansion/fortification.
2. The projections of past identities expansions/fortifications that stay as ghost images.
Now this current identity could be stable or in the process of transformation,
Or it could have reached a new stability post-transformation.

When identity is transformed by time,
The past-identity projected desires still stay as ghost images.
Even though the new transformed/transforming identity projects different images,
These ghost images stay on the screen too.
Everything thus gets mixed up.

So then there is a deep confusion whenever there is transformation,
As to which desire is from something real or unreal.
In fact by very definition, when in-between a transformation process,
All projections of what is happening are all fleeting and temporary like a dream,
Because a continuously shifting/changing/transforming thing completely veils even the appearance of any essence.

So an identity-transformation process instantly throws a person into emptiness.
He cannot know who/what he is, what he wants/desires, everything in his experience shifts into a unreal dream flow.
If this lasts for 2 decades of his life,
Those entire 2 decades will be like a night dream,
Constantly shifting empty experiences, sort of like being on a psychedelic trip throughout.
Because memory needs a structure to hang off.
But if the structures themselves are changing/morphing, then all the memories have no foothold.

That is why I think we do not remember much of anything before the age of 5.
Because there is too little structure in identity to hold any memories.
So in a way, a person going through a transformation process of identity,
Is in a similar state of consciousness, as someone who is only 2-3 years old.
Early childhood, night dreams, psychedelic trips are the closest analogue to how transformation of identity would feel.

Going through transformation essentially overwhelms the mind when it tries to make sense of it.
It is unable to make an identity/anchor out of all the experiences happening.
It reminds me of the scene in the movie Arrival, when the heptapod aliens just blast the entire screen with innumerable circles.
It becomes impossible to process it and create a coherent narrative.