Some thoughts on dating

This is a very vast subject,
And no matter what I write here,
I’d still only be scratching the surface.

In my understanding,
All relationships/dating/romantic pursuits,
Are about mutually fulfilling needs.
At a broad level, the needs might be:
Emotional, Social, Psychological (Companionship),
Physical, Financial…and so on.

I feel the root of all of these needs starts from early childhood,
From the relationship with the parents.
How did the parents reflect the child?
In the formative stage,
A child knows itself only by parental reflection/mirroring.

If the parent treats the child like a satellite,
(Like an extension of themselves instead of an independent entity),
That has to revolve around the planet,
Which is the parent in this case,
Then that creates the co-dependency dynamic.

If the mother/father is herself/himself profoundly needy,
They may project the role of the hero/savior/martyr to the child.
Due to this, a role-reversal would take place,
Causing the child to be the caretaker/peacemaker/emotional-regulator for the parent.
This would create the hero/martyr/savior dynamic.

In other cases,
The child may be conditioned to be overly dependent on the parent,
And the parent would encourage that to keep them dependent/enmeshed.

An opposite kind of enmeshment is also possible,
Where the parent depends upon the child from an early age,
Causing the child to be unusually independent early-on,
And assuming adult-like responsibility from a very young age.

There are many more cases like this,
Which then create a plethora of possible dynamics.
I feel it is these dynamics that are once again enacted in romantic relations.
The role-plays conditioned early on,
Perpetuate themselves in future relationships for most.

Whether negative or positive,
The dynamics go on unless deeply introspected.
Essentially the holy-grail sought in these romantic relations is:
If original dynamic was positive: To perpetuate that same successful dynamic with the other, and have that pattern simply live on.
If the original dynamic was negative: To once again find someone to trust, and then attempt to get our narcissistic wounds healed through their positive reflection of us.

Generally, I observe, that if the original dynamic was positive,
The person has very little trouble finding a partner and continuing it.
Trust comes easy, it happens seamlessly somehow,
And suddenly in a wink of an eye,
You see them all settled, happy, continuing their shtick(lol).

Most of the drama however, happens in the latter case,
Where the original dynamic was negative.
I feel the reason why this case is so difficult is because,
Not only was there a lack of trust to begin with from both sides,
But also, each of them continues to be still attached to their parent(s) in a negative way.
After enduring huge amounts of narcissistic injury, they buried all of their hurt/shame/anger/sadness…and so on,
And all this buried resentment and unprocessed parental enmeshment/attachment,
Makes both of them project their own ‘unfulfilling-parent’ onto the other.

For each of them:
The real quest is to get a cocktail of the following validations from the other:

Emotional/Self-esteem/Achievement/Specialness,
/Significance/Importance/Greatness/Worth/Value,
Trustability/Lovability/Likeability/Attractiveness,
Intelligence/Status…and so on.
It is a quest for redemption:
To be seen in a positive light,
And granted entry into a better world,
That is now finally safe for them to enter.

But in order to get the above,
They first have to become vulnerable to the other,
And open themselves up to a new internalization.
But to have history not repeat itself, and double the hurt,
They would have to test each other first.
And this testing part is where things break off eventually.
Because:
1. Usually nobody passes their tests (far too steep).
2. Secondly they attract partners who resemble their parents (the ones who created the issues to begin with).
It then becomes a sort of negative-prophecy that keeps repeating.

The quest could be worded as:
“How do I find an other,
Who is safe/trustable/adept/and wants my best interests?,
Who gives me the positive-reflection of myself I have longed for,
Who thereby opens up a new safe world for me to start thriving,
Which is the opposite of the hellish in-between ambivalent place I am in now.”
Most of the time, such an other is never found or never passes the tests,
And therefore results in “serial-monogamy” or other forms of disguised-despair.

Imo the only way out of a negative illusion like this,
Is to wake up (to awaken).
Unfortunately, it is not as easy to change a negative illusion to a positive one.
The only way out is to make EVERYTHING conscious.

The universe is projected through the body

Body Projection

The body is the ‘projector’, and the world and universe are the ‘projected’.
When the experience of the body is wonderful, our experience of the world and universe is wonderful too.
When the experience of the body is agony, this mirrors in all of our experience in the world and universe.
We see the entire outside world and universe through the lens of our concepts.
That is, through our mental-processes of projecting concepts/objectifications and then linking them to create maps/webs of context.

Within the body

Penetrate the 5 layers of the self to find the source of existence/creation.
All knowledge is an extension of the knowledge of the self.
Creation is a fractal that self-replicates throughout space (3D) and time (4D).
Understanding the principles forming the fractal is to understand the 5th dimension of creation.
The objects of the 5th dimension are: “Revelations/Insights/Dawnings/Intuitive Knowings”.

What inspiration experientially feels like

Breathe out completely and hold.
Do not breathe in again immediately.
Wait for about 10 seconds (or whatever time suits you),
Until you feel a strong urge brimming inside you to take the next inbreath.
Now just give in to that urge,
And let it carry you all the way as you take an inbreath,
Until you are filled with the satisfaction of fulfilling that.
Feel the fulfillment and satisfaction of that process of letting the urge carry you all the way.
After that, once again you can breathe out and hold,
And go into another cycle of this, if you wish.

The inspiration is that upwelling and brimming of that urge to breathe in.
I have not found a more visceral, direct, tangible, and reproducible way to experience ‘inspiration’ itself.
Every inbreath in reality is from a influx of inspiration carrying you through it.
I have seen that esp. when doing multiple cycles of this,
Done with full focus, the inbreaths can get very pleasurable.
A feeling of ‘the magic breath’ happens.
It starts to feel like a deep immersive emotional experience.

Why perspective is so important

Suppose:
I took photos with an awesome DSLR of only cowdung in a place,
And sent you a collection of 150 such photos,
What would you think?
That the whole place is nothing but a pile of shit?
But the reality of that is, all the dung was spread quite a bit.
Each picture might have looked larger than life on your HD screen,
But the actual place was completely different,
A neutral normal ordinary place with everyone going about their usual business.

Now let’s take the opposite case:
The opposite phenomenon may happen in a place like Instagram.
When celebrities etc. take photos of places from strategic spots,
Wearing exotic dresses, and add magical filter effects,
All this would make the place itself look like a dream fantasy.
Based on watching all these exotic posts of such places,
I’m sure many might have traveled with their family with the hope of getting some taste of that same magic.
And maybe what they found was that the places fell far short of their expectation?
Maybe they were just usual ordinary places with everyone doing their usual stuff?

The kind of information pouring into our HD digital screens,
Can seriously warp our perception about everything.
It is of course not only pictures but also narratives of different events that hugely shape our perception and experience.

A very interesting story I read a while ago was about this very perceptual distortion.
The story is titled: The island news network, I think.
The story goes like this:
In a group of 100 islands, each island had its own news station.
Whenever there was a shark attack, which would happen once in 2 years in one of the islands, that would get reported in that island-specific news channel.
Then later they unified all of the islands and created a single news channel.
Now the news of the shark attack started showing up in the citizen’s HD screens every 2 weeks.
It was so frequent, and shown in such detail, that everyone in all the islands entirely stopped swimming.

So the amount of information in the world is infinite.
We have to be aware of the balance of our perspective and be conscious about this kind of warping and distortion that can so easily happen, considering how we have abundant access to audio/video/writings in today’s INFORMATION AGE.

The role of an Artist

An artist is fundamentally a Transmitter,
Transporter, Messenger, Bridger, Linker,
Channeler, Translator, Interpreter, and Communicator.
He/She is also a transformer of consciousness,
By bridging and channeling higher influences into this plane.

He/She translates and bridges the following:
# Unknown and Known
# Higher dimensions and Our dimension
# Dream world and Waking world
# Subconscious and Conscious
# Ineffable and the Expressed
# Chaos and Order

The Shiva aspect is in everyone

The Shiva aspect of ‘That which is not’,
The Unborn, the Uncreated,
The Unstruck sound, the Potential,
The Non-physical dimension,
Exists and permeates through everyone.
That same ‘nothingness’ permeates the whole of existence,
And can be accessed by diving into your own experience.

In fact that is the very ground of existence,
Seeing from that is the primordial and primeval seeing.
All distance from that progressively becomes a mistaken perception.
Greater the stillness and subtlety, truer is the seeing.