Musings on the dark night of the soul

dreamyskyline

The dark night of the soul,
Is when you become aware,
Of the underlying void,
Of the underlying darkness,
Of the underlying invisible space,
The silent invisible unknown unseen wind,
Beneath the wings of creation,
And drawn to that.

Like being drawn to the bed of the ocean,
From the waves in its surface,
Moving into the obscurity, unknown, and aloneness,
To find the ground of being and life.
A dark rapture of surrendering,
And letting yourself sink,
And going through the sadness,
Of disappearing/vacating the world you know.

Everything fades to the distance,
Sights and sounds become faint,
A cocktail of sublime emotions well up,
Nostalgia, sadness, clarity, and reflection.
As you descend to the cave of your own heart.
Like the feeling one has,
When journeying back home from an adventure.
The play of form and light departs and fades,
As you sink into obscurity, mystery, and devotion.

It feels like seeing a city skyline at night,
Standing afar on the other side of the shore.
Watching the shimmer and twinkling city lights.
As you walk away, you keep looking back,
And watching the lights recede, shrink, and fade.
And you willingly enter the darkness.
The uncreated, formless, unmanifest,
Into mystery, obscurity, and innocence,
Following the longing to return,
To the ineffable unknown that is the source of life.

The limitations of time – Social/Clock time and Existential.

Supposing you moved to a paradise island,
With no humans around,
And no watch or time keeping device with you,
You would be free of clock time.
Clock time is also Social time.
The reason for the clock is mainly to coordinate one’s life activity with others.

Being free of social/clock time would free you from one set of limitations.
But one would still not escape time itself,
Because there is also existential time,
Which is kept by the body itself.
In fact all social time is build around the rules/laws of existential time which is really the foundation.
The freedom of human activity is dependent on the freedoms offered by the cycles of existential time.

So what is existential time?
Existential time is of the body cycles.
How long can I sit?
How long can I stand?
How long can I meditate?
How long can I talk?
How long can I be silent?
How long can I work (Physical and Mental)?
How long can I enjoy?
How long can I be creative?
How long can I be awake?
How long can I sleep?
How long can I be healthy?
How long can I socialize?
How long can I be alone?
How long can I stay at home?
How long can I be outside or travel?
…and so on.
So these cycles would still happen,
Even after you remove yourself,
From all civilization, social environments, and the clock.
Now, is it possible to overcome these existential limitations?
Are these limitations a given as long as I exist in the body?
Is there a dimension of my being that is free from these limitations?
Is there a dimension of my being that is eternal and not subject to time?
Is it possible to be and stay conscious of that dimension?
That is the next contemplation.

A single evil entity by itself is powerless

A singular evil entity by itself is fairly powerless.
It has to tap into the evil in others to really work.
So evil exists everywhere.
The entity you cleanly identify as evil is only the top of the iceberg.
It appeals and brings out the unconscious and shadow of society and humanity itself, which is carried in everyone.
On the surface, only the perpetrator of evil is clearly visible.
But it cannot really work unless the entire system supports it.

The whole existence is a singular play

The whole existence is a singular play.
Where no thing is real, only the field is real.
Don’t be attached to any outcomes, because all outcomes are unreal.
Only the play is real, all its props/objects are its appearance.

Everything is relative.
Every change changes everything.
Because everything is connected and dependent on everything else.
In the highest view, nothing changes.
It is a singular field being itself.

Fundamentals of existence: Form maintenance

FUNDAMENTAL OR BASIC CYCLIC BURDENS OF EXISTENCE:
*************************************************************
ELEMENTS:
***************
EARTH: Food -> Poo
WATER:
# Water -> Pee
# Sexual desire -> Release
AIR: Breathing In -> Breathing out
FIRE:
# Activity/Expression(physical(1c), sexual(2c), verbalizing(3c/5c), perception(4c/6c)) -> Rest/Sleep
# Mental learning -> Dreams; Novelty -> Rest
# Temperature: Hot (Fan) -> Cold (Jacket/Blanket)
OTHERS:
***************
HEALTH: Health -> Sickness (not a cycle really but it appears to alternate)
OTHER NEEDS: Clothing, Territory/Shelter
BODY MAINTENANCE:
# Toe Nails, Finger Nails, Head Hair, Beard(if male)
# Earth wash, Water wash, Wind wash, Fire wash.
RELATIONSHIP:
# At least one relationship to tune into (to harmonize the system).
# Relationship Alone time

This is the minimum it takes (acc. to me) to live, in this realm, in this form.
These are the basic requirements of this VR world which one cannot exit out of until its [time is over] or [transcended and mastered].

The cycles frequency(freq) and amplitude(amp) can be heightened or shortened:
# EARTH: If you eat more, you’ll poo more
# WATER:
If you drink more, you’ll pee more
If you indulge more in sexual desire projection and release more often, then it increases freq.
# AIR: If you breathe in more, you’ll breathe out more
# FIRE:
If you engage in more activity, then greater the rest period;
More the temperature variations, more the stimulation of metabolism.
Freq of Wash: Earth wash, Water wash (bath), Wind wash (standing in wind, fan), Fire wash
Freq of Hair and nail maintenance: Head hair, toe nails, finger nails, shaving.
Freq and amp(intensity) of: Relationship vs Alone time.
Freq and amp(intensity) of:
# Travel/Novelty vs. Home/Familiarity
# Learning/Exploring vs. Assimilation/Integration.

More about me

I’m like an RPG character with very low health
So I keep dying zillions of times
But my superpower is infinite regeneration
I can keep coming back again and again

Sometimes I wonder, if all this is really real?
Or are all my experiences part of some dream in the afterlife, and if I am already dead?

People have ‘meaning crisis’ at rare times and it quickly passes away too.
For me it is the other way.
I always live in a perpetual meaning crisis.
For short bursts I have meaning.
In those times, I get ordered and happily pursue the goals that appear.
Then I fall back into nothing, and another spawn happens later.

That is where my endless creativity comes from,
From dying over and over again.
It is like living 1000’s of lives and characters rolled into a single one.
Living in a constant mystery day to day,
Like an endless fountain rising and falling.

Yin and Yang of life and about myself

In the initial phase of our lives, we are totally yin (like sponge).
In the later phase of our lives, we become yang.
That is the transition.
That is the cycle:
# Absorption -> Emission.
# From taking -> to giving.
# We prepare to join society in the initial part of our lives. -> And then join society and yang in the next part of our life.
That is how society views us anyways from its perspective.
That is why it is set that:
# 0-25 = Education
# 25-60 = Work
[My body’s survival/thriving depends on all the physical forces.
My mental survival/thriving depends on all the mental forces.]

But what I have learned is beyond society -> And what I want to give is beyond society.
I work on enriching, illuminating, and healing souls.
About myself:
# During my yin = I have seen far more.
# And now in my yang = I want to give back far more than society can see.
I have always had ethereal vision -> and now I have the capacity for ethereal action.
My home element is “ETHER” = the world of imagination/magic/states of consciousness/vibes/music/feels.
The 5c circuit(from 8 circuit model of consciousness – Timothy Leary) was my starting and home.

My identity has always stayed transcendent of the 1st 4 circuits:
# Instinctive
# Dom-sub/pleasure-pain
# Mental(reality tunnels)
# Socio-sexual circuit
For me, my Yang was greatly suppressed in my interaction with society/world.
That is why I live like a hermit.
Because really I am a transformer.
And society is not exactly at a Renaissance to welcome me in -> It has from day 1 opposed me.
This is my deep breath(in and out) in this plane of existence on earth.
# A deep inbreath in the first part of my life until 31 (0-30 = 30 years)
# A full outbreath in the second part of my life until maybe my death at 80 (30-80 = 50 years)

The true situation I feel I am in is like:
# Life of a pi – Boy vs wild animals
# Country of the blind – Man with eyes vs. blind village
# Jungle book kind of situation – Mogli with the forest animals.
# I am legend – A single man surrounded by million zombies everywhere.
# Planet of the apes – The apes civilization dominating and marginalizing everyone else.
# Like members outside the Matrix – Morpheus, neo, trinity, and other crew members.
# Like Elsa in Frozen – Living in the ice palace far away.
These analogies are a bit exaggerated, but they help to convey the way I have always felt.

(c = chakra)
# My true identity = 7c = the potential/unmanifest field.
# My Yin = 6c perception = mother
# My Yang = 5c writing/speaking/sharing = father
I live in the supernal triad of the soul = I have always lived with great contact with soul consciousness.
The dark night of the soul is: Really my true identity in 7c bringing me back home to itself from being lost in the 6c imagination.

Whatever I present to society, must be on its terms, else its members will not take it, and may even attack/marginalize me.
I have no duty or anything towards society, that is all a lie told from society’s perspective which pulls all people by its strong gravity of guilt/responsibility etc. -> it is all lies.
The greatest gift I have to offer is my own vision, integration, and natural unfolding.
I will be a celebration of my own nature, and if society wants a part of it, I will joyfully share it.
Else I will happily live in a hermetic way till the end of my life.