The ego is the internalization of other’s expectations from you, which you do for survival

We internalize, maintain, and forward the structures of all the others who loved us in whatever way, at whatever level, to continue to attract similar such people who will like and support us in future, and so on.
This is like a memory driven cyclic process, that strives to maintain its core identity, and expand and enhance it.

The relational-ego usually starts with the parents, and then extends itself from there.
The love for the offspring from the parents side and for the parents from the child’s side is biologically supported.
The wheel-hub is created from those primary relations, i.e. the core self-concept, and then it extends its spokes from there as more interaction and exposure to the world happens.
It is a sort of primary imitation and emulation.
I’d say deep devotion/admiration/respect evokes mirroring/imitation.
This may be happening naturally to an infant born into this world.
A deep and vast subliminal absorption takes place in the formative years.

Keeping the individual’s past (karmic memory) aside,
Even just observing the tangible transmission of genetics from generation to generation in the lineage,
I feel the blueprints (genetic memories) are transmitted through and across each generation.
For instance, all the people that loved and supported your grandparents/parents, those faces will look familiar and appealing to you too in some way,
And you may be repelled towards all those who hurt and rejected them in the past.

Literally, the word familiar, points to something to do with familial.
One perspective of all of this is that, this is all Prakriti/Nature.
And that it is all survival based.

Whatever enabled the survival of your ancestors for 7+ generations prior to you,
The memory of all of it is functioning as a blueprint.
Could this be a huge basis of all of our attractions/repulsions to things/people/places etc.?
It is as if this 7-generational worth memory is firing within your experience signaling all kinds of desires/aversions and so on, in experience.

Another aspect is that:
“Every action is propelled from its dual.”
Potential charge -> Kinetic charge.
It is like a battery discharge.
So in this context,
“One could be discharging the potential charges of the family lineage one was born into.”
For example:
Say, if generations have nurtured a deep desire for wealth and due to lack of opportunity they could only keep dreaming about it intensely,
It may happen that the new offspring born into the lineage may have a much better environment and loads of opportunities for wealth.
This offspring may then feel a massive desire to seek wealth with an unstoppable inner force driving it.
The deeper force could be from the imagination of the sheer enjoyment/pleasure of it and/or for the atonement of family/lineage shame (low status) about being poor/unworthy/undeserving etc.
It depends on the undercurrents that are running through the lineage finding expression through the offspring.

If the parent is already successful, then the child simply derives meaning and purpose from that. It would emulate that and try to get those same rewards.
If the parent himself/herself is seeking, then the child also furthers that search as the purpose.
So a settled parent begets a settled child.
A seeking parent begets a seeking child.
This may not be all in the open and articulated.
In fact very little of it may be openly spoken about and conscious to the parent.
The seeds even reveal their potencies only after they sprout up a bit after some opportunity to develop is present.
Else they are too feeble and will not be detectable except by the most sensitive person.

This genetic lineage can be at different stages of maturity and evolution.
The role you play here is an emergent one.
It builds over time as you deepen your relationship with it.
I’ll now try to fit in karmic memory (one’s individual past) into this equation.
This is how I understand it:
For a soul with karmic memory identity, it joins into the genetic memory lineage something similar to how someone with some IT work experience joins a new IT company.
The role/position/environment of this new IT company, I see as genetic memory and its conditions/forces/pressures.
The person’s prior experience (“transferable skills abstracted” as opposed to the concrete discrete knowledge he carried when in each of the roles in his prior companies) before he joined the job = karmic memory.
So just like one did not create anything in the new company one has now joined, the genetic lineage is something that you did not create.
You simply join into it at some role/responsibility and then figure it out from there and get familiar with it as time goes on.

So entering into a genetic lineage is something you become conscious of over time with exploration.
An analogy for this could be of: A mahout and an elephant.
The mahout is the soul (karmic body) and the elephant is the genetic body inherited.
So there are different dimensions of intelligence that work independently and interdependently.
For instance, the elephant can take care of itself without the mahout too.
It knows when it wants to eat, sleep, drink water etc.
It has a life, instinct, and intelligence of its own.
Even an experienced mahout, would have to learn about the new elephant he has been given, and then develop a good relationship with it, before he can direct it to his will.

In the order of identities therefore there are 3 dimensions:
The numinous -> The abstract -> The concrete/literal
Pure spirit/pure consciousness/pure intelligence -> Soul (karmic memory identity) -> Ego (genetics + person’s relational memories from interaction with the world – from the various time-space-people paths it has passed through).
So it is technically possible to transcend and go beyond the soul karmic identity too and move into pure intelligence/spirit.

In terms of dimensions in this realm, in my understanding:
6th dimension = The space of all genetics
5th dimension = The space of your lineage genetics
4th dimension = The astrological ‘time-path-trace’ for your lifetime
3rd dimension = The current space-time location you are in.

The science of attitude and perception

Every aspect of existence that we see outside,
Has a corresponding component of that within ourselves too.
Perception is from resonance/recognition/alignment.
That is why it is said “You only experience the self, not the world”,
OR “You experience the world only as reflected in your self”.

All perception is a kind of resonance between the outer and the inner.
It is not that the outer and inner are separated in time by a linear process.
They simultaneous spawn,
Like how the dreamer character and the dream environment spawn together simultaneously.
Like for example, if you start to hate some aspect of yourself,
At that very instant, you also simultaneously prime yourself into hating all other potential reminders/representations/symbols/patterns of that aspect from the outside.

This is because, reality is ‘experience’,
And experience is fractal in nature.
What you hold in mind, you see outside.
And what you see outside, you hold in mind.
You see similar motifs/patterns/symbols/representations,
i.e. all that reflect the idea that you are holding.
The outer-inner appear to be in a constant state of transaction.
Sometimes an inner change alters the outer perception.
Sometimes an outer change alters the perception of the inner.

So from this level of perspective,
There is not even a you vs an other or inner vs outer.
It is a single swath that instantly manifests together.
The attitudes I hold towards every aspect of existence,
Multiply themselves infinitely and instantly throughout the entire scape of existence.

When saying ‘The attitudes I hold…’, I was implying that I am the determiner.
But actually, when delving deeper, I see that even these attitudes,
Also seem to be ‘appearances’.
Rather then being something I determine,
They seem to be flowing through and expressing through me.
My ability to alter them or control them,
Seems to be determined by how much energy/power I have,
And my level of perception and dis-identification i.e. whether I can even perceive those attitudes as objects in my awareness.
This energy level is again conditional of sort, again the effect of many other cyclic processes.

To dis-identify from anything, you must first have the power/energy to separate yourself from it and see it as an object.
When enmeshed and identified into something,
Even if you can see this enmeshment,
You need enough power/freq/energy to extricate yourself out of that.
It is similar to how we need enough external force to overcome newton’s first law of inertia.

Generally, you function from a certain station of freq,
While accessing all kinds of states from there.
This I call the LOC (level of consciousness) of the subtle body.
I could say, ‘What you are is where you are seeing from’.
What you do not see, will be something you are subject to, and it will rule you from within.
What you do see, is something subject to you, and can be ruled.

For many people, what I see is that, their life-fires/soul are enmeshed and identified with their genetics (to varying degrees/levels).
It is like they are embedded inside those grids, and therefore all of their life fires only serve the demands of those structures.
They are completely unaware of this, because they identify totally with the feelings/perceptions arising from these grids.
It reminds me of animals, how they function only within 2 lines, only within a certain set pattern.
For human beings, it seems,
The bottom line is similar to reptiles/mammals,
But the top line is super high.
The spectrum is vast and there is enormous potential to rise up in awareness.

The seeds outside and within

You can only connect with or experience the seed outside you, 
If it awakens the corresponding seed inside you.
Let’s put a scale of 1-10 to this seed aliveness.
Generally there is also a threshold of aliveness needed for you to become conscious of the seed aliveness and its activity.
People who get overwhelmed and overstimulated easily, have a lower threshold,
While people who gravitate to extreme levels of stimulation, have a higher threshold.

Resonance with others (i.e. between your seed and their seed activity) will excite your own seeds.
This excitation, amplification, or enhancement is then felt within.
If you have a low threshold for consciousness of these things,
The resonance will often appear to bring back to life, seemingly dead seeds within you.

We often seek others or cues that will stimulate the seeds within us we identify with and want to enhance.
For instance, say you have a seed desire within you that wants to go window shopping at the mall.
Let’s say it is below your threshold of consciousness (threshold: 4, and this seed is at 2)
If someone else, a friend say, comes along with the same seed desire but at aliveness level 8, he/she will be clearly conscious of this want.
If they then ask you whether you want to join them in a trip to the mall, this proposal will now increase your seed aliveness temporarily in their presence to 6 because of resonance, and you will become dimly aware of your own desire to join them and may likely say yes to it.

If you have a very limited ego identity you will only identify with some seeds and try to get rid of most of the others.
Accordingly you will also have a very narrow relationship with the outside world, limited to only things and people that maintain or grow those ‘identified-with seeds’.
If your ego identity is diffuse and vast, you will be an empath and be able to connect through many many more seeds.
That is about identity.
The next variables are about energetic activation and consciousness threshold.
If your consciousness threshold is very low, say 1/10, then you are like an owl, super sensitive and can see in the dark. You will probably get overwhelmed easily and perceive a ton of things.
If your consciousness threshold is very high, say 7/10, then you will only feel seed activities within that cross that threshold. So there will be a constant need for very high stimulation.
If your net seed energies and activity are at a low ebb (<3/10) then you will feel depressed, empty, and blank.
Whereas when your net seed energies are high (>7/10) you will feel alive, rich, and euphoric.

Some drugs enhance the seed energy which are generally called stimulants.
While certain drugs lower the consciousness thresholds in different ways like LSD.
The drugs could do both too.
Both result in an enrichment of experience we call high or euphoria.
Meditation in silence generally is to lower the consciousness threshold, so that you end up feeling rich even with lowered activation.
Whereas LSD might stimulate the energies to a higher pitch causing a bunch of seed activity to cross your consciousness threshold.
Also, if you already have lower consciousness threshold coupled with LSD, then your euphoria and richness will be overwhelmingly higher than someone with the higher threshold.
Meditation lowers the threshold, while psychedelics raise the seed powers.
So they both assist each other.

The morphogenetic field is also the influence by resonance from others to us.
It is sort of like a quantum entanglement.

Will power is resistance

Will power (the experience of it) is when you are resisting.
No resistance = No willpower.
Your very existence as an individual is from the action of resistance.
Cease to resist and you will cease to exist as an individual at all.
That is where this saying probably comes from:
You are when god is not, 
When god is you are not.

It is possible to relax out of one’s identity itself.
For instance, unconsciously every night,
Our very identity relaxes its inherent resistive action in deep sleep,
Where our individual experience ceases,
And this gives a great deal of rejuvenation.

How you see yourself

If you see yourself as Indian, then Pakistanis are the invaders.
If you see yourself as the earth, then aliens are the invaders.
If you see yourself as the body, then viruses are the invaders.
If you see yourself as Brahma/Universe, then all is you,
Including the Pakistanis, aliens, viruses and so on.
It is like how you own your whole body when speaking about it to a doctor.
You may mention a specific organ, but you see yourself as the whole when describing.

Identity, Desire, and Memory

‘Identity’ with ‘Memory’ spawns ‘Desire’.
Memories are like accumulations.
They can be at different levels.
They add on top of each other like a multi-storey building

Our original identity is “LIFE/SPIRIT”,
The formless intelligence that simply IS (Pure being).
This identity then mixed with memory at various levels.
Pure Life/Spirit channeled through [Identity with Memory] = Spawns Desire/Force.
Like how electricity is first channeled through your laptop power supply,
And then through all the laptop’s hardware produces its output.

RULE: All force is generated through structure.
So every structure, when identified with, empowers it with spirit,
And spirit begins functioning THROUGH that structure, manifesting as desire/force.
Desire therefore can be seen as a modification of spirit passing through a memory/structure due to identification with it.

Approximately here are the different levels of memory:
(Identifications with these memories can build on top of each other,
And create corr. desire forces)

Spirit/life = true identity (operates at a level of freedom outside memory)
M1 = Soul karmic memory = Desire 1(D1)
M2 = Evolutionary memory = Desire 2(D2)
M3 = Cultural/Ancestry-Genetic memory = Desire 3(D3)
M4 = Family/Social Conditioning memory = Desire 4(D4)
M5 = Personality memory = Desire 5(D5)
M6 = Mental memory = Desire 6(D6)
M7 = Emotional memory = Desire 7(D7)
M8 = Sensory memory = Desire 8(D8)

So if [M1+M2+M3+M4+M5+M6+M7] are identified with,
Then spirit operates through all those structs,
And you get the conscious desire of D8.

Alternatively, if [M1+M2+M3+M4+M5] are identified with,
Then spirit operates through all of those,
Giving you the conscious desire of D6.

In degree of vastness,
D1 is infinitely vaster than D6.
Every subsequent desire is nested in its higher desire as a possibility.
You can say [M1,D1], [M2,D2] etc. are [structure->forces] residing in their corresponding dimensions.
The entire lower dimension is from one of the structures in the higher dimension.

The dimensions are linked like a chain.
Coming from the source [which is life/spirit],
And building up from M1 to M8, like a multi-storey building.

All transformation is from the intervention of a higher dimension on a lower one,
And this goes on until we finally reach the unfathomable identification with infinite intelligence/life/spirit/pure consciousness itself.
Once this station has been reached,
It sets all of the other dimensions completely free.

Your freedom, degree of freedom, or potential for freedom,
Depends on which dimension your conscious identity is residing in.

The burning of karma


Our experience has 2 components:
# A cyclic-physical component
# A non-cyclic intelligence component
The non-cyclic intelligence is like the fire of consciousness/awareness.
The cyclic-physical portion is what we call birth and death of the body-mind.
The residue of all the countless lives lived in the past,
Or time spent in different planes,
Keeps gathering as samskharas/tendencies in us.
So the fires of our current life rotate around these stored memories/patterns/imprints.
Just the experience of everyday living is coming from this fire burning up this karmic collection.

If we want to be truly liberated,
We have to raise the pitch and intensity of this fire of consciousness.
So that it burns like a bonfire.
This intensity of fire would then consume the karmic material at a much higher pace.
All that would have happened to you in many years, happens in a month or weeks say.
Experience happens with great intensity, including both sufferings and joys.
Life experience is then on fast forward.
Everything is a blur and whizzing past.

This raising of the pitch/intensity of the fire of consciousness,
Happens naturally as the longing to transcend deepens.
This longing naturally happens as a consequence,
Of our own ripeness, maturity, and level of evolution/development.
This then naturally increases the speed and intensity of our life experience,
As a result of this fire burning larger and stronger.

Eventually this fire consumes everything,
All your stored residues,
And you will be liberated.
You would then identify with the fire rather than the material it was burning through.
This identification slowly shifts as the process commences.
Initially you are identified with the material and feel there is also a fire present.
But eventually the fire gets more and more strong, and this causes a fundamental shift in identification.
You start to experience yourself as the fire itself more and more,
A deepening of this identity shift keeps happening,
Until finally, only the fire remains.

Masculine and Feminine attraction

The more masculine is attracted to the more feminine.
Because gender identity is as the name suggests identity/identification.
So it the favoring of one pole over the other.
And this makes us seek the other pole in the world.
So like all polarity, the stronger one is to the extreme, they will seek the opposite extreme.
Whereas the balanced folk (very close to equal masculine and feminine) will seek other balanced/hybrid partners.
All polarity is a game of finding the missing piece in the world.
So the souls that choose extreme feminine or masculine identities, are playing a great adventure game.
And the souls that are balanced are playing some other game, where this is not the central focus, a different life stream, a different adventure, a different endeavor.

Investment of being vs. doing

Investment of being = identity investment, i.e. ego itself.
The investment of being ‘somebody’.
When you say – I am a student, doctor, engineer, husband, wife, citizen etc.
Investment of doing = all other smaller investments.

What is identity?

“Identity” is the “Instrument” designed to execute the “Unconscious/conscious Investment” in the world.
What is your investment in?
What have you projected onto the world?
What is your deal with the world?
That would be the basis of the “identity instrument” you are working to become.