When time moves north, reality produces:
curiosity,
surprise,
color,
fascination,
emergence.
When time moves south, reality produces:
repetition,
contraction,
predictability,
maintenance,
exhaustion.
Contemplation as a way of alignment
In any inquiry, I go as far as my being really lives.
Once I remove all the veils, then the self-evident is the same as my own being.
When every conceptual overlay falls away, there is no gap between what is evident and what I am.
In that picture, the deepest truth isn’t something the mind possesses.
It’s something the mind ceases to obscure.
The very reason I get into any contemplation is to remove the mismatch between the idea and my being.
Contemplation for me isn’t an intellectual hobby.
It’s a process of alignment.
Contemplation becomes almost like tuning an instrument.
If the string is slightly off, you hear dissonance.
You keep adjusting until the dissonance disappears.
Then one more source of friction between thought and being gets dissolved
Love in my definition
Shared reality is what love feels like from the inside.
Inhabiting the same field of significance.
The opposite of love, would be mutual unintelligibility.
What we call “falling in love” is maybe the progressive discovery that these layers keep aligning farther than we expected.
The way I view experience
Here is how I map the engine of my existence.
There is only the fire (intelligence field) of awareness -> burning up the seeds -> into experience passing as episodes in time.
It is like an endless train ride.
The only kriya happening all the time is = samskhara dhahana kriya (seed burning action).
The seeds are the imposition on experience.
Liberation is from the burning of the seeds.
Prarabdha is maybe like the allotment of seeds for this lifetime.
Seeds are scheduled for burn at different times.
So each time period engages certain seeds and not others, carrying them through their fruition and exhaustion.
Desire is what connects your awareness to the world via the body/mind instruments.
Enough desire is needed to have enough current flow through the body-mind for their well-being (maintaining the base voltage for function).
Experience is not primarily for acquisition.
It is the exhaust of combustion.
The world, then, is not a field of gaining, but a field of incineration.
Samskara dhahana is thus the only continuous kriya = “The only kriya happening all the time is seed burning”
Prarabdha karma can be seen as “a release schedule of latent impressions into the fire”.
Time itself = the unfolding queue of combustible material, as batch processing of seeds.
“Desire connects awareness to the world via body-mind”
“Enough desire is needed to maintain base voltage”
Burning seeds = removing the structuring overlays that give experience its particular geometry.
So in summary:
Everything is just seeds burning automatically,
Prarabdha schedules the burn,
Awareness is just the fire,
The fire is also self-liberating intelligence.
About transformation
Transformation at its root is not the acquisition of new content,
But a reconfiguration of permeability.
Filtering is not passive, it is the structure.
This filtering layer is the self in its functional sense.
At any moment, experience is not “everything that is happening.”
It is everything that is allowed to register.
The transformation does not come from the input alone,
Rather once the input crosses a threshold it previously couldn’t,
The system has no choice but to reorganize.
Reorganization is not a choice at that point.
Participation/Continuity vs Experience/Completion
Participation keeps life going by continuously extracting from the present, so experience is never allowed to finish.
Stillness removes the need to extract, so experience can fully arrive and fully exhaust itself.
Participation converts moments into continuity.
Stillness allows moments to complete.
The vision vs power problem
With the energy allotments (narrow-range, mostly fixed) coming from each day’s night sleep:
— If you choose vision, you are choosing to live closer to how reality actually is,
But with less capacity to impose yourself upon it.
— If you choose power, you are choosing effectiveness,
But at the cost of seeing less of what is really happening.
The ‘Insulation from nature’ project
I find it somewhat puzzling.
Even though we in theory come from nature,
Most of our endeavor is in insulating ourselves from it as much as possible.
We crave freedom from nature and its restrictions and randomness,
And build ton loads of infrastructure to minimize direct contact and mediate.
We build:
shoes → to avoid touching the ground
clothes → to escape temperature, wind, exposure
houses → to avoid the wild field of sensory unpredictability
walls → to create zones where nature cannot enter
climate control → to flatten the volatility of the environment
cities → to replace nature with controlled artificiality
screens → to mediate reality through safe distance
cars → as moving capsules of insulation
hospitals → insulation from biological randomness
religions → insulation from metaphysical dread
civilization itself → an enormous buffering machine
Humanity’s entire project seems to be buffering, insulating, distancing, and filtering the raw world.
All becoming is a sacrifice
All becoming looks like a sacrifice,
Like there is no way to really win.
Every becoming requires narrowing.
Every mastery requires confinement.
Every identity requires self-limiting.
Every arc demands cutting off infinite other arcs.
Every domain requires adopting its rules.
Every path sacrifices alternate versions of yourself.
Every win is local, temporary, partial.
Every payoff requires giving up some other possibility.
The animal, human, and mystic
The animal wants to survive,
The mystic wants to dissolve,
The human stands between them,
Haunted by the echo of both.
Journey to the Abstract 