A fantasy of sex and union

Why can’t all women fully surrender,
And receive sex from all men unconditionally? freely?
Why can’t all men fully surrender,
And give sex to all women unconditionally? freely?
With no judgments, rules, restrictions, laws, and boundaries?
Why can’t we just live in an “endless orgy” until we leave this plane?
Why can’t everything just have sex with everything else all the time?
Why can’t there be limitless pleasure of libido?
Instead of it happening just for seconds at a time as the orgasm?
Why can’t everyone just be in an eternal orgasm?
Why can’t all control just end?
Why can’t everything just merge and flow as one?
With no concept of possession?
Where all “desire” is instantly received everywhere and instantly gratified?
Why can’t there be free-love everywhere?
Why can’t there be no disease, suffering, pain, resistance etc.?
Wish there was no such thing as self-preservation,
And its consequent emotions of disgust/fear/threat.
Wish everything just mingled into one flow/dance.
With the cohesion of water, and like a single emerging grand tapestry.
Where “everyone and everything” transforms “everyone and everything”.
And where everyone is part of the hologram, but identified with the whole hologram and its total play.

Your experience is a mirror

You see what you want to see.
You see through the windows of your own expectations.
Even an unenlightened person can enlighten a sincere seeker.
Alternatively, a negative person may not benefit at all even from an enlightened person.
You attract what you are.
Your world view, ideas about everything, about others, are a reflection of the lens through which you are seeing.
A wise man can get wisdom even from a fool.
The fool can never get wisdom even if the wisest words are said to him.
Look for beauty, profoundness, and the sublime, and you will see it.
Open your heart to what you desire, you will see that manifested.
The outer world is only the reflection/projection of your inner world.
Seek, and you shall find and attain.

All true power is from within, from the invisible.
Become the diamond mind/diamond heart.
Receive the light and dazzle with the reflections.
Outer success without inner connection is meaningless.
The love of others will mean nothing, if you are not aligned to your own power.
Work on the roots, work on connecting to the earth,
And the flowers will come by themselves, the tree will bloom.
Connect yourself to the source and be an avatar/conduit of its power.
Become enlightened and freed with the power of the source.
Healing really is alignment, i.e. to keep what is real, to drop what is unreal.
Go into the transformation, let go into the fire of higher intelligence,
“Thou shall be done.”

About love, truth, and transformation

Love can be about:
# Others’ seeing your value
# OR you seeing others’ value.
The received love = creates outer success (2c, c = chakra)
Your feeling love and connecting everything to god = inner success (4c)

Generally you receive love, only when you radiate love.
Because really love is ONE.
When you are ONE with love, then others loving you is from their own recognition of that love field.
It is the same archetype that everyone has the potential to recognize and be.

When you are one with what you desire, then that attracts all the others who desire the same.
Because desire in its essence is the very potential, that takes you to your true self.
Desire in its essence is desire for truth itself.
And truth is ONE.
Everyone has a longing for truth, and can recognize this, and are attracted to it.

Love and Truth are synonymous.
Love is Truth and Truth is Love.
You aligning with your truth, simultaneously aligns you to the truth of all that exists.
That is why Buddha said that when he got enlightened, at that very moment all of existence got enlightened.
Because our experience is holographic and fractal in nature.

Talking about it, without fully being it, is one thing —-vs—- Being it fully and then speaking about it is another
When you talk about it, often, it is like you are also trying to sell the idea to yourself.
That is also beautiful in its own way, but it lacks the power of the latter.
It will lack the power and sheer intensity of a fully integrated being doing the same.
The words will lack power, because in such a case, ALL OF YOU is not standing behind it.
You sabotage your own words/actions, from your lack of integration.
Power = Comes from integration and structure.
Without full integration, your every step is only a quarter or half step and the other parts resist each step.

So the whole sadhana is to be the total perfected instrument, of what you truly value.
This process may lead one to a dark night of the soul (dnos).
Transformation = To fall into total chaos, in order for the higher order to emerge.
Consciousness is always of the chaos first.
One is witness to the alchemy and transformation, and one also plays an active hand (or resists) in the process (the short path – dnos) -> but the process goes on anyway because that is your own deeper desire.
You long to be transformed, and the process is simply a reflection of that longing carrying you to your destination.

Is your deeper desire to transcend the physical?

Today, I was travelling in a shared taxi and the passenger next to me had a moderate cold (cold virus) and was constantly sniffling. As a reaction to this, I tensed up my body esp. in the stomach and chest, tightening all those inner muscles, and tried to breathe less, and look away from him as much as possible.
The journey lasted 30m, so this condition I was in was getting painful, and I felt really irritated at the passenger beside me, feeling an impulse to just attack him. I ofcourse restrained myself, and put up with this resistance within me and when I reached my destination, the ordeal was over, and I could finally breathe normally again.

Even as those sensations happened in the taxi, I vowed to myself that I would stay AS CONSCIOUS AS POSSIBLE of every single thing happening.
A lot of deep insights came to me even while all of this was happening.
The first insight was that: Actually, my deeper self was ready to allow the cold virus to enter me. My deeper self felt like a omni-directional vacuum unconditionally receiving. It was attracting everything indiscriminately, and the resistance and tightening up I felt was my human self’s/body’s response to the deeper self’s indiscriminate vacuum like attraction.

So my body tightened from within as a protection, to prevent the destructive energy(cold virus) from being pulled in. So though it felt like the other man was to blame for my painful body contraction and so on, I could see that it was only an appearance/projection.
In reality I was afraid of my own deeper self’s attraction, and was resisting against that.
Then I thought about that more deeply, and realized, all fear is essentially your resistance to your own [higher/deeper self’s attraction], isn’t it? (the deeper self could represent the unconscious layer of self beneath the surface feelings/emotions/thoughts felt)
Another example of this would be, when I would peep out of a low balcony at a great height, say 500ft above the ground, I would wonder as to ‘why do I get the fear of falling felt as a contraction/restraint feeling?
I felt the resistance/contraction felt which is termed ‘fear’ which acts counter to the falling movement, is really my resistance towards my own deeper self’s desire to actually FALL (there is an attraction to let go and fall).
The same is true when sometimes if I look at a girl who is provocatively dressed and attractive to me, I feel FEAR (sensation is of contraction and restraint).
What am I really fearing? My fear is actually preventing my deeper self from acting on its desire of being drawn to her.
Similarly, if someone is acting rudely and violating me, I feel fear again, because it is to restrain me (my deeper desire) from attacking him back, which would lead to undesirable consequences for me in the larger picture.
So I see that all fear is me stopping myself, restraining myself from acting on a deeper impulse/force/desire felt.
There could be wisdom in fear too.
Because a wise man has greater vision and can see far-ranging consequences of actions.
Fear/Contraction/Restraint/Stifling is not necessarily negative.

Now, I went further into the inquiry, wondering about, why is the deeper part of me attracting destruction/destructive forces to me?
This has been happening for as long as I remember, and I wanted to get to the bottom of it.
Why is my higher self against my physical thriving? (why do I have a hermit lifestyle? why am I not investing in material security, relationship security etc.?)
When I pondered on this, I realized there is a lot of background metaphysics context that is needed to really look into this question.
What I am resisting/fearing is destruction/dissolution and what I am looking forward to is maintenance/enhancement.
But that part of me is only a small part of me.
There are many more deeper dimensions.
The metaphysics relevant for this case is that:
“Form itself represents lower energy.
The formless is higher energy, and the formless is FREE to take any form as its appearance. But form by itself cannot change without the aid of the formless energy transforming it.”
I remember from my earliest days, my deepest desire was for freedom.
And since the physical form is inherently limited and low energy, I always wanted to transcend it.
That is why I never invested much in my physical identity.
I pondered: Could this be one of the transition stages, one of my final incarnations, to really complete the impulses/desires of the physical and finishing up before moving on to the subtler higher energy realms?
That resonates with the way I have felt all my life.
So then in a way, my higher self is purposely attracting destructive forces, and it reminds me of the dialogue from the movie Jacob’s ladder:
“The only thing that burns in Hell is the part of you that won’t let go of life, your memories, your attachments. They burn them all away. But they’re not punishing you, he said. They’re freeing your soul. If you’re frightened of dying and… and you’re holding on, you’ll see devils tearing your life away. But if you’ve made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the earth. It’s just a matter of how you look at it.”
When a sugar cube gets dissolved into water, is it getting destroyed? or is there simply a transformation of essence?
When seen from a limited perspective, it looks like destruction is destroying essence itself but really, the essence only changes into a subtler form.
Like say I take gold and powder it, and powder it until you cannot see the powder, it will look like the gold has vanished. But really it has only vanished from your perception, not in essence.
Similarly I think, the resistance/fear is coming from the portion of me identified with the physical body, the animal part of me.
Every form/structure/formation/cell resists dissolution.
Like centripetal and centrifugal force, there are 2 forces in us:
‘Self preservation(identification with form)’ and ‘Longing to dissolve(identification with formless)’ forces.
It is not one or the other, rather it is about which is greater.
So when the higher self being a stronger force moves you along the path of dissolution into a higher energy essence form, your lower self experiences change/death, and that is why the resistance and in a way, this suffering is inevitable and can be greatly reduced if the deeper metaphysics is fully understood.
The despair/doom/pain/suffering/resistance are all experiences of the part of that is identified with form.
But if the part of you that longs for freedom is too strong, it will lead you into dissolution.
Notice your longings carefully, and you will see that all that is happening is working with perfection according to the actuals of the forces within.

The 2 drives:
Life drive ——–and——– Death drive
Are both resistances from the lower mortal self -> 2 kinds of rebellion.
To try to die faster than it is happening is to direct aggression towards destruction = death drive.
To try to keep/maintain or enhance things when they are not supported by the higher, is to again direct aggression towards enhancement or maintenance of status quo = life drive.
So what it means in truth/essence is that, life = transformation.
It is now. It is the direct vibration of perception itself.
To the mortal self: It feels like:
Construction = heaven —— Destruction = hell.
But to the deeper self, it is the opposite:
Construction of mortal form = limitation = lower energy state of being —— Destruction of the mortal form = Dissolution = Freedom = Higher energy subtler state of being.
Both the perspectives of the mortal self and the deeper self are simultaneously operating.
Feel your inner space, and understand their dynamics within you, and when you fully allow both construction and destruction, you become the allowing itself, and get subsumed into the NOW.

The guru is really your own higher self

Projectionoflight

The greatest pain (that I have experienced) is of separation and disconnection.
Whenever a person is connected, one can see a beehive around them, i.e. all the people attracted to that connection to source energy.
Everyone needs/longs for this connection to live/survive/thrive, and therefore everyone seeks this, they are drawn to all the conduits that transmit the source power.
So when a person gets firmly connected, his extent of connection determines the attraction gravity he/she sets up.
The more powerful their connection, the larger their energetic influence, and more the people sitting in their shadow and gravity.

The opposite is seen, when there is total disconnection, the energy/power then of the person is even smaller than their own body, they simply struggle to survive, hold their own coherence.
In transformation, one can be completely reduced to pulp approaching a total chaos of the creative force (it depends on the extent of transformation that is happening).
Buddha, Jesus, Krishna, Vivekananda, Lao Tzu and all the greatest spiritual teachers in history have had enormous connection to source power.

But the degree of connection visible is only the smaller part of the truth.
Don’t judge a work in its unfinished state, esp. when it has been dismantled totally into an incoherent chaotic pulp.
It only appears like there is no connection, but one is closer to the light than ever before and one is being DONE in its image. Being transformed, being resurrected, being remade.
The total unknowing, dark night of the soul where you are blinded (none of your instruments help in this terrain), makes you understand that it is not by your efforts (what you call ‘you’) that this transformation is happening.
Infact ‘you’ yourself are being remade by a higher power.
Really, everyone is looking for a conduit to grace/god/divine/…
When your longing is deep enough, it eventually(in time, as a journey) carries you to the greatest connection/wisdom.
Deeper the longing = Greater the transformation = Greater the power/wisdom/vision/inclusion = Greater the connection = Greater the transcendence.
The longing is the potential energy that will unfold into kinetic transformation/manifestation.
It is a process of ENFOLDMENT(longing, potential, seed sprouting) -> UNFOLDMENT(actualization, kinetic, tree becoming).
All desires are potentials, and their flowering are the trees.
It is from the ground of filth that the beauty of a tree emerges.
Both filth and beauty have their divine purpose and go together.

The outer guru, is a catalyst, the hope, the potential coming/appearing, the becoming, in manifest form.
When you meet your guru, you see your own potential in its manifest state.
Your recognition of the guru, is your inner recognition of your own higher self and higher potential/possibility.
That recognition of your own higher potential (projected as the outer guru) results in the surrender/devotion that follows.

All manifest is a projection of the inner experience.
The guru is yourself, none other than your own higher self appearing to you as the guru.
Your recognition of the guru, is your recognition of your own higher self/possibility/your own higher potential.
And the surrender/devotion/work that follows is the projection of your own higher self consuming/taking you/transforming you/absorbing you into itself.

 

Fire the transformer

The principle of fire is within you.
Fire is the life force.
Fire + Space = Consciousness [Perception movement]
Fire + Air = Ordinary fire [Mind movement]
Fire + Water = Acid [Emotion movement]
Fire + Solid = Lava [Physical movement]
Fire is:
Destructive(if attached)——OR——Transforming(if non-attached)

On Brain Transformation

digitalbrain

The [Dynamic Ground] is the context while the [Ego] is the manager within that background context. (these terms were borrowed from the book: The Ego and the Dynamic Ground – Michael Washburn)

All [judgments/labeling/categorizing/concepting/focusing/lensing] -> is from the [Mind Net] cast over [WHAT IS (Actual Perception + Perception stemming from Memory)].
It is [Mind Vision].
To [see with the mind] is to cast this [instrument’s net].
It is to see ‘through’ this net.
But if mind is an instrument then what is the driver of this instrument? = [DESIRE]

[Conscious Desire/Interests/Passions] -> which are basically the [deeper unconscious/archetypal forces/energies/cathexis] passing through the [NET of Worldly-knowledge and memory] and getting translated into forms that can fit into the [symbolic order/outer world].
The brain works as a [CONDUIT AND NET] for [translating/prism-ing] the [inner soul unconscious subconscious desires/forces].
If this [Brain filter] is too dense, and if it serves as a very poor medium or translator for letting the [higher soul inner desires] to [manifest] through this [realm/plane/symbolic order], and if it is just [repressing/barring/walling/shielding/blocking] most of it, and if it accumulates a lot of [useless conditioned dead habits] -> then this brain instead of being a conduit becomes an [overhead/dead-weight/poor conducting/resisting medium] -> The [task/imperative] then becomes to seek higher knowledge that will help create a [BETTER CONDUCTING and LIGHTER BRIDGE], so that more of the [soul’s true desires] can be [conduit-ed/translated] into [freedom/action/expression] in this [outer realm/symbolic order/plane].
This sort of [Brain Transformation] comes from the [unmanifest/unconscious] but one can [intuit] what is happening.
[Consciously] one can only [witness and manage] the [transformation process] happening – which happens in the [background/backdrop/context].
The [imperative] therefore during [TRANSFORMATION] is to [serve the process] by being an [efficient conductor of the ORCHESTRA] that unfolds.