Total flexibility, adaptability, response-ability is the greatest freedom

RULE: “What appears is not what it really is.”
This is even easier to see the more disrupted things get.

Persistence makes it more difficult to see illusions,
Because the persistent stuff imposes itself on you,
Day after day in the same way, leaving very little gaps.

But disruptions make it more easy to see between the cracks.
To see that all that appears is empty,
And is the modulation of a substrate that is completely free to change.

In my opinion, the real truth is all mixed.
There is no black and white dichotomy of [good parent, terrible parent].
The world/creation is like a forest.
It can be seen in 1000s of ways,
And all of these ways are views of the same transcendental object.

The transcendental object we call world,
Is an infinite canvas for us to project and see what we want to see.
Just like a screen is.
It carries the potential in each of its pixels,
To show a huge range of brightness and color,
And consequently appear as any picture.

All is a complex mixture.
Nothing is a pure blessing or a pure curse.
There is duality in everything.
Flexibility of perspective/vision and response-ability,
Is the truest freedom imo.

All that appears is the play of Maya.
All is an appearance.
All that appears is not what it really is.
It is the flexibility of our mind that allows us to see more,
Of the transcendental higher dimensional object we call the world.

Like how 1000s of people take videos of a place using their own cameras,
We use our minds to perceive and understand different aspects of this world.
But the world (the place itself) is beyond all the footage that was captured.
The footage is a representation and not the thing itself.

The world is an unfathomable blend of 1000s of facets.
Our minds are like travelers and explorers of this multifaceted object.
How much we travel and explore is our choice,
And is also dependent on our potential.

When it comes to Maya,
The rule is always: “Do it the way it works”.

Holographic and Fractal nature of reality

Holographic principles of reality:
# “In an infinite circle, there are infinite centers.
Every point is then a center”
# “Every point is the whole looking at itself through the point.”
# Indra’s net: “In a spiders web filled with dew drops,
Every dew drop reflects every other dew drop within itself.”

All experience is:
Generated from within,
Happens within,
And is known within.
The outside is a reflection/correlation/correspondence.
(For instance, take astrology, palmistry etc.
They are all correlations on the outside,
Of what is seen/known within.)
Whatever is awakened within therefore gets awakened in the outer vision too.
You are the whole housed in the part.

Contemplate on these statements:
# Every part contains the whole.
# The whole moves the whole,
No part moves the whole.
So the notion of causation,
Which is the relationship in time between the parts,
Is only an appearance.
In the higher reality, the singular field (the ONE) moves everything,
Just like your dream at night.
The whole dream is a single play.

What is healing

Healing is a commitment/decision.
It is a direction/dedication/orientation/choice.
Healing is a learning process,
Of figuring out what works and how much.

It is the journey of getting closer to causation.
It is a journey of getting closer to the root.
It is a journey of getting closer to reality.
It is a journey of getting closer to source.
It is a journey of getting closer to truth.
It is a journey of getting closer to essence.
It is a journey of getting closer to honesty.
It is a journey of discovering and transcending,
Ever larger cycles/loops or recursive patterns.

It is a journey through higher and higher planes of understanding,
And through higher and higher planes/dimensions,
Whose structures and relationships are through intuitive insight.
The healing journey is a journey of revelation,
Of greater and greater underlying mysteries.

Healing is a journey of moving from the gross to the subtle,
And of moving from compulsion to awareness.
Healing is to remember (re-member) yourself,
To connect all of your fragments,
And move towards becoming whole,
And move towards atonement (at-one-ment).
To heal is to yield to and feed the fire within,
That wants to know the ultimate truth.

Law, Truth, and Energy

<div>
Law == Truth == Potential Energy (‘==’ is equivalence)
A higher law can subsume a lower law.
A higher truth can subsume a lower truth.
A higher energy can subsume a lower energy.
</div>

The universe is projected through the body

Body Projection

The body is the ‘projector’, and the world and universe are the ‘projected’.
When the experience of the body is wonderful, our experience of the world and universe is wonderful too.
When the experience of the body is agony, this mirrors in all of our experience in the world and universe.
We see the entire outside world and universe through the lens of our concepts.
That is, through our mental-processes of projecting concepts/objectifications and then linking them to create maps/webs of context.

Within the body

Penetrate the 5 layers of the self to find the source of existence/creation.
All knowledge is an extension of the knowledge of the self.
Creation is a fractal that self-replicates throughout space (3D) and time (4D).
Understanding the principles forming the fractal is to understand the 5th dimension of creation.
The objects of the 5th dimension are: “Revelations/Insights/Dawnings/Intuitive Knowings”.

The Shiva aspect is in everyone

The Shiva aspect of ‘That which is not’,
The Unborn, the Uncreated,
The Unstruck sound, the Potential,
The Non-physical dimension,
Exists and permeates through everyone.
That same ‘nothingness’ permeates the whole of existence,
And can be accessed by diving into your own experience.

In fact that is the very ground of existence,
Seeing from that is the primordial and primeval seeing.
All distance from that progressively becomes a mistaken perception.
Greater the stillness and subtlety, truer is the seeing.

Real knowledge must be rooted in direct perception

Many times, when I ask people about what they feel about a certain thing,
They would respond with: I don’t know, or I’m blank, or no idea.
That is usually in the colloquial context.
However, when examined existentially, that is not true at all.
They do know.
They do have lot of preexisting beliefs, frameworks, ideas, imaginations, and preconceptions about that thing.

When it is said ‘The enlightened one is the one that realizes that he does not know’,
We wonder: ‘Ok, what about all the commoners who also say the same about everything?’
In reality, the latter set of people do believe they know,
And have all sorts of conceptions, imaginations, ideations, associations about it, but it is in unconsciousness/darkness and unexamined.

What holds back people from proper atma-vichara is that they do not contact and work with the proper seed essences from the point of view of consciousness.
Generally, as a thumb rule: ‘You always start from what you do know, and from that seed essence, you grow the tree of knowledge.’
It is a kind of contradiction to say, “I don’t know X”, because in that very statement you have already shown you have a conception of what X is.
It is like saying: “Can you see this tumbler, THIS tumbler (you hold it in your hand or point to it), I can’t see it”.
Or pointing to the tumbler and saying, “This is not a ceramic vessel”.
The next question then would be: “Then…What is it?”
When people say “I don’t know, I’m blank, no idea” = it is a sort of negative definition.
They are not seeing the knowing/ideas they do have about that.

‘NOT’ is always a comparative statement.
Like defining: A as A, and B as ‘not A’.
But B is also B, it is its own thing.
Nothing can not exist. There is only existence.
‘Not’ simply means that thing which exists, is not something else.
So contemplation and gaining knowledge requires you to contact “the essence object/the root rasa” in your consciousness first,
I.e. the knowing/ideas/concepts you do have about it.
Then you can proceed to add on/investigate/deconstruct and so on.
Without contacting this essence, the foundation of all your knowledge is belief based and therefore unstable (relatively unreal).
It is without rooting in your own direct experience.

You are the root which the tree of your knowledge must be attached to, and come from.
If this root is in unconsciousness, then your knowledge will be a flimsy tree without real rooting.
It would live only off consensus.

There is experience/knowing all the time.
Generally, if you ask someone to close their eyes and ask them what do they see, they would say “nothing”.
What they mean in a way is: nothing relevant/significant/important,
Or nothing worth even calling a thing.
But it is important to note that, it is never nothing because nothing does not exist.
They are seeing something (some inchoate murky patterns/fluctuations/forms etc.) which can be artistically and imaginatively described.
By saying nothing, they are essentially saying that whatever is seen is irrelevant and therefore “ignorable”(treated as nothing).
But this is where ignorance lies too.
Seeing is always on, whether your eyes are closed or open, because really it is the mind that is tuning to the sense of seeing, and therefore seeing.

There are essences and degrees.
The essences you perceive in your inner/outer space, are your real riches.
They are the 5th dimension, all the possibilities of your current condition of existence.
This direct perception of essences is your REAL KNOWLEDGE.
These essences are the seeds of real knowledge from which you can build trees and connect them up.
Once the “essence” is perceived, you have the fundamental riches, you can then play around with “degree”, and manifest them fully.

The devouring mother and the death drive

The mother wanting the son for herself,
As an extension of itself instead of a separate being.
This is the classic devouring mother.
She punishes/guilts the independence/autonomy of the son.
Leading to the son internalizing that “Autonomy is bad and ought to be punished”.
So then that sets up the death drive,
Where there is masochism/self-punishing,
To end the self and get back to the state of fusion.

The son may adopt the adage: “If you cant beat em you join em”.
Since his mother is actively or passively against him becoming a separate individual,
He starts actively trying to merge back into fusion with the mother to the prior egoless state,
Rather than having a separate self,
Which is constantly attacked and opposed by the mother.

In reality the son’s self-attack against having an autonomous individual self,
Is preemptively done, because the mother would oppose it anyway.
So here, the son starts to do that attack to himself in a controlled way,
Which is an internalization of the mother’s attitude towards his self/independence.
The over-attached/possessive/protective mother is clinging on to her son,
Expecting him to be a nobody and act as its slave.
This may be totally unsaid and well hidden,
But the mother’s behavior will show it.

So the son is guilted and threatened about this time and again,
That he ought to be the slave of his mother, but is acting independent.
His independence is actively attacked and discouraged and even threatened by the mother.
She threatens him that “he is not strong enough and will die if she withdraws her support, and that he better be her slave instead”.
That is why later the son is attracted to dominators/abusers/manipulators/narcissists etc.
All of whom who use him,
Which is basically the repressed anger of his mother against him,
Which he has internalized,
And projected onto the dominators/abusers/manipulators/narcissists.
The dominator/abuser/manipulator/narcissist is openly punishing,
Which represents the same unconscious relationship the mother has towards the son’s becoming a separate self.
The son via. the projection of the vengeant-sadist aspects to the dominators,
Gets to keep his mother image pure as being the caring positive mother.
The mother also may keep gaslighting the son and reinforcing that whatever he sees in her is all good only.

This anger of his mother is essentially against him becoming an independent self,
I.e. him betraying her, and leaving the state of fusion, and the state of being an unconditional helpless slave,
Is then internalized, repressed (made unconscious), and then projected as a punishing world that wants to destroy him.
Because it is much more scary for the son to see his only care-taking figure as the devil.
So he would rather make the whole world the devil and keep the mother pure.

This sets up the death drive, where the son is constantly trying to escape himself or destroy himself,
Constantly trying to escape the terror of being himself.
Because he is expecting the brutal attack of his mother for being autonomous.
So the only action of his self is to destruct itself, masochism essentially.
Be it through attracting abusive partners or by self-inflicted harm/abuse,
OR by consuming intoxicants constantly to drown out the awareness of the self as much as possible.
His mother only wanted a slave, an extension of herself, and did not want “him”, and would have killed him as a baby if he were to express himself in his true individuality.
So this is the primary trauma, of the fear of the wrath and punishment of the mother who would have killed him because she never wanted “him” per se.
So then the son/child escapes this by developing an ego that is on the mother’s side.
His own ego is against his self, just like his mother was against his self.
So the ego formed for the son is inherently self-destructive and antagonistic to itself,
And only attracts destructive forces to itself.
That was the very way it was formed,
Because of identification with a mother who never wanted him in reality.

Neglect compounds this, because neglect simply implies the mother is not interested in the independent self of the son at all.
Neglect then is an expression of unconscious hostility on the part of the mother.
It also clearly conveys the intention of the mother to not have her son individuate at all and remain in fusion with her.

The message of the devouring mother is “I will take care of you, but never leave me, if you leave me, you have betrayed me, and will face my wrath”.
So then the mother has instilled the need, fear, and guilt of:
“The outside world will kill you, you will not survive without me, you need me.”
“Also never become anything other than what I want you to be, else I will be very angry at you, and punish/abandon you for that.”
So then the son may internalize this mother’s message and project this out to his world view itself.
He will see the world itself as being a bad hostile evil place that is best abandoned.
He thinks: “It is better to not invest in the bad world at all (this also means the very act of having a self is seen as bad, because it is investing in the world that creates a self in the first place).”

So the son actively keeps attacking his own self, independence, autonomy, and sabotaging himself,
Where all his decisions serve the death drive (his own wish to end the self and return to fusion) and he therefor attracts only destructive forces to himself,
Including addictions to abusive people/narcissists/sadists/self-harming/painful information/bad news OR to intoxicants that will eventually kill him.
The intoxicants may also help him escape by numbing the awareness of sense of autonomous self itself – by fusing him into the intoxication-state as long as it lasts, which makes him repeat that again and again.

This may also lead him into the spiritual paths of self-abandonment and surrender.
Where he justifies all his self-destructive actions as the ending of his own ego and reaching god.
The son cannot pursue his own self interests, because that would mean betraying the mother and incurring her wrath and punishment.
The son also cannot become a pure slave to the mother, because that slavery feels unbearable.
So this constant suffering with no remedy makes him look for every single escape/relief/or source of pleasure he possibly can, to make living bearable – this may include an attraction and/or addiction to porn, intoxicants, and various forms of dissociation etc.
This is the inner turmoil, double bind, the archetypal struggle,
Of becoming an individual and separating from the mother.

If the father figure is absent or self-absorbed in dealing with his own suffering,
And if the mother figure is also wounded and dependent herself,
Then the only identification left is with the mother, because the father has not invested in you.
The only option then is to identify with the mother who does not want you,
And this is the classic death drive setup.
Because you would then treat yourself the same way your mother treated you,
Which is to invalidate/neglect/abuse/gaslight/deceive/sidetrack etc.

So then you are trapped in a place where you don’t belong,
For too long a time with no escape.
And there is no help from the father, he is unavailable for you,
And neither is the mother helping you in any way because she herself is dependent and in her own grief.
And add to that the mother also has the unconscious agenda to have you not separate from her,
Which is why she may never nurture your independence and keep treating you like a helpless baby,
Because in truth she wants you to remain helpless so that she has something to do (so that she can fulfill her own narcissistic needs for purpose, esteem, usefulness through serving you).
The mother will then go around telling others “Oh my son needs me, he cannot manage without me”.
That is a truth that she herself has engineered,
Where she wants to maintain you as such.

The seed and the tree

life-cycle-apple-tree-stages

The seed is the innate potential.
The tree is what the environment allows in the seed.
This seed-tree analogy could be applied to multiple truths/contexts.
For instance:
Your DNA/Biology is like your seed,
While your social ego/self/identity/conditioning would be like the tree.

The seed’s responsibility is to give out all of its potential.
The tree’s responsibility is to stay a match/align to its environment.