Desire and Perception

Is desire/interest because of perception?
Or Does perception itself come because there is desire/interest?
Or Do they both go together (arise together and pass together)?

In other words,
Do you see because you want to see?
Or Do you want because you see?
Or Do the seeing and the wanting go together?

Is desire the cause of perception?
Or perception the cause of desire?

For instance, for a child who has never tasted sugar,
There is no perception (of that thing) yet, therefore no desire.
But once there is perception of sugar (the thing), the desire for it is awakened.
This would be the case of ‘perception causing desire for that thing’.
It is the case of: “I never knew I wanted this, but now that I see it, I want it more than ever”.

‘Desire causing perception’ is “You see what you want to see (those things)”.
For instance, you are walking on the road and you want to catch a cab.
What do you see, just cabs and cabs right.

Generally causation implies separation in time.
But here, I would say both are simultaneous.
Like the burning fire being desire,
And the light emanating from it being perception.
The burning fire and the light emitted from it are simultaneous.

However, in my examples, those were cases of:
Desire for specific things and perception of those specific things.
Now this is what happens/plays out in time.
And you could find the causal relations between the 2.

Another related aspect to this is ‘desire and memory’.
Memory creates desire (for that memory)
Desire (for that memory) then seeks for more such memories.
Which came first? The memory or desire?
There is a kind of cycling between the 2.
Like hunger/desire and food/memories to satiate it.

Impermanence and Cyclicity

# Impermanence – removes the notion of ownership/possession.
# Cyclicity of the nature of time – removes the notion of progress/gain
So, it seems like both ownership and progress are temporary phenomena.

The greatest civilizations rose into order/glory and later fell into chaos/oblivion.
The pain and suffering in life I feel is caused by – Trying to maintain the permanency of our illusions while also trying to make them endlessly progress.

The forward moving tides initially greatly assist us in building whatever we want,
Then the same tides reverse their direction and oppose us until everything is brought to a halt.

Our so called free will seems to be at the mercy of these cyclic larger forces.
We can only have anything or dance according to the terms dictated by these forces.
Generally we try to oppose these forces tooth and nail,
But nature eventually wins and swallows us back into itself at death.
We can prolong our life by various clever strategies,
But eventually, some day, we are forced to yield to death.
And death acts in the same way to all.

Our life as an individual with freedom,
Seems to be a kind of gift or privilege,
Bestowed to us as a possibility by these larger forces.
But whatever is given is also taken away.

The only way out of this I see,
Is to voluntarily merge with the deeper reality,
And gradually transform our individual self in alignment to that.

Every gain is a loss, and every loss is a gain, depending on how you look at it.
‘Psychological meaning making’ is sort of an art.
We are then like artists,
Shaping our experience through every moment,
From wherever we are.

The cycling between the 2 ends of qualities.

Every quality seems to perpetuate itself,
Cycling between the 2 ends of its spectrum,
To create all of the experiences of itself.

It’s like every quality is its own dimension/flavor of experience.
Where the 2 opposites within that quality,
Create the experience spectrum of that quality itself.
Like: Sour ———— Sweet.
Those are the 2 ends of the spectrum of that ‘flavor dimension’.

Other instances:
# The therapist for others, later receives therapy for themselves.
# The one who save lives, later has their own life saved by others.
# The one who bullies, gets bullied later.
# The one who protects others, get protected.
# The one who hurts others, get hurt themselves.
# The one who cheats others, gets cheated over by others.
# The oppressed become the oppressor, then once again the oppressed, and so on.
# The loved one becomes the lover, and then consequently the loved again, and so on.
# The server becomes the served.
# The caretaker becomes the one cared for.
# The one who was subjected to tyranny, then becomes the tyrannizer.
# The one who wonders, makes wonderful things, and that leads to more wonder, and so on.
# The student eventually becomes the teacher.
# The disciple becomes the master.
# The helpful becomes the helpless who is helped.
# The powerful eventually become the powerless.
# The dutiful person, gets others to do their duty towards them too.

All of these things look to be cyclic.
There are these interminable causal cycling chains running from the past,
And thereby causing the current reality.

In general language, we treat the 2 opposites are 2 distinct things.
But actually in reality they are mutually creating each other,
Like how in a tapestry, the same thread runs up and down.
For example, take sadness/despair and joy/hope.
They are both mutually creating each other.
If you fully live through your sadness, you open the way to much more joy.
If you fully work through all of your pain, you pave the way to greater pleasure.

The current life seems like suddenly watching Season 5 Episode 3 of a Drama,
Without having seen any of the previous seasons and episodes.
However the general flavors of the serial can be perceived through any episode.

Each of our lives is like the continuation of one long saga,
From the big bang till today, and still playing out.
Each of us, are riders of eternity.

It is love that makes one seek knowledge at all.
Without love, why would you bother to seek knowledge at all?
So even ignorance itself shows a lack of love.

Big and small is from relativity in a frame of reference

There is no absolute big or small,
Except in relativity,
That is set by a frame of reference.

Changing the frame can change what is big and small.
Big or small is a comparative and relative statement,
That is applicable only within a certain defined boundaried frame.

Spectrum:
…Small ———– Big…
The dotted lines indicate infinity, towards that direction.
So its nature becomes fractal.
In a fractal, there is an unbounded frame of reference.
The higher truth transcends the usual logical rules we use.
For instance, in a circle of infinite radius, every point is its center.
So you are neither big nor small, and you are also the biggest and smallest.
You can be the same fish, but a big fish in a small pond or a small fish in a big pond.
It all depends on the perspective/frame of reference and the dimension being looked at.

Every lifetime is like a skydive

Birth is like the start of a skydive,
The jumping off the plane.
Imagine there are some clouds that you first pass through.
Then just after that, one is overwhelmed, mesmerized, and stunned,
As the stunning vista becomes visible.

There is the feeling of falling at warp speed,
But the visuals look like everything is almost still,
With the earth inching towards you ever so slowly.
This is the time of great splendor of vision,
Where you see a bird’s eye view of all the possibilities.

While growing up we go through 3-4 stages of faster biological development.
-0.9-0 = Development in the womb (passing through the clouds)
0-7 = Physical development (grand vista first sight – 20s)
7-14 = Emotional/Sexual development (next 20s freefall)
14-21 = Intellectual development (next 20s freefall)
21-25 = Higher intellectual development (extra 10s of freefall)
So till the age of 25, we are on a magical ride of sort,
Hitting all the numerous developmental milestones.
The part from 0-25years of age I feel is like the free fall part of the skydive.

Then once we reach a lower altitude of around 5000ft,
The parachute is opened.
There is then a drastic reduction in speed,
Things slow down quite a bit,
And now we stabilize mentally and emotionally.
This parachute descent I feel is like the next phase of adulthood from 25-90.
Here the number of possibilities for our life has been narrowed down to a great extent.
We are fairly stable with a stable identity that moves us along through the rest of our life.

When the parachute comes fairly close to the ground,
We still don’t realize the reality of the ground.
It still looks like something unreal happening with toy buildings and toy cars put in place.
The reality of the ground suddenly hits when you are around 50ft above.
It is only then you realize, ‘Oh, this is for real!’.
On touchdown there is last run you do before coming to a full halt.

I feel this mimics the stage when we are close to death.
Death here is the ground.
The final 50ft descent and the touchdown run is the final drama of death.
Things once again get a bit dramatic in the last bit.

The 3 variables of time, space, and people

Here are the different combinations:
# This Time, Same space, Same people
# This Time. Different space, Same people
# This Time, Same space, Different people
# This Time, Different space, Different people
# Different Time, Same space, Same people
# Different Time. Different space, Same people
# Different Time, Same space, Different people
# Different Time, Different space, Different people

Here, time, space, and people refers to what/whom you hold in your mind more than the actual physical reality differences or the actual people around you.
Since your conscious experience of reality is mostly only from what/whom you engage/invest/attend to in your mind.

A timeline for your life can be charted out with these 3 variables,
Marking out the broad episodes and flow in your lifetime till date.
A diagram might look something like this say:

The flow of time

I wonder if this time-space-people position is some sort of destiny, or prewritten to some extent.
Is it prewritten that we would be at this particular time-space-people point now?
Is the overall map of our life already charted out in a vague way?
In terms of where and whom we’d be with in our minds at a certain time?

In our lifetime we may meet around a 1000 people?
1000 in proportion to 7.5 billion is like ‘7.5 millionth’ of the world population.
That means I would have to live 7.5 million lives interacting with 1000 new people in each life to cover the whole population?
And how much do we even understand the few people around us? (let alone the 1000 people we may roughly know).
We may reach some depth only after many years with a few people, that too only if we keep up the intensity.
Imagine the varieties of experiences possible.

About knowledge and fire/spirit

Every piece of knowledge must be digested to liberate more fire/spirit from itself.
It is similar to real fire from firewood.
If you put dry wood, it further enhances the fire.
Whereas if you put wet wood, it diminishes it.
Similarly, if knowledge quells the fire, then that knowledge is not serving the fire.

There is no good knowledge or bad knowledge.
However, whether your fire can handle the knowledge or not is the real question,
i.e. whether you have the necessary supports, enzymes, tools etc. to digest it or not,
And that is what needs your discretion.

Knowledge must serve and enhance your spirit,
Like dry firewood enhances and fuels the fire.
If the knowledge being consumed does the reverse,
Then that knowledge is not serving your spirit,
And it would then diminish your life force.

Every answer you get for a question,
When digested fully, will spark 10 other subtler questions.
The purpose of an answer is to act like an enzyme to break the question up into subtler and subtler questions.

In a way, this principle also holds true for physical food.
If you can digest what you eat, the the food serves you and increases your energy.
If the food takes more energy to digest than it provides,
It leaves you with lesser energy than when you started off.

The different yugas

Sat yuga = The age of spirit = Mystics
Treta Yuga = The age of mind = Imagineers
Dwapara Yua = The age of electricity = Engineers
Kali yuga = The age of the physical = Warriors

Millenia ago, if you saw something, and wanted to share it with the group,
You would have to talk/draw/act and somehow convey what you saw.
Today with electrical gadgets like cameras and smartphones,
You could just shoot a video and instantly share it with everyone in the group.
Since the information is in the same medium (of direct vision), you would not need to explain much too.
Also, we can send something like this to 100s or 1000s of people now due to the internet,
Whereas earlier you would have to go one by one or gather the different people together,
And then attempt to convey what you saw.

Drawing from that analogy, in Treta yuga,
We would have zillions of machines made for modulating the mind field,
In the same way our cities today are filled with electrical gadgets constantly modulating the electrical field.
Imagine if a person from 10BC came and visited our cities in 2021.
He would see electrical contraptions everywhere, right!
Similarly if we find ourselves suddenly plopped into Treta yuga,
We would see mind machines everywhere, and the whole landscape may look truly alien.
Then you could easily share an insight, thought, dream, mental idea, concept, plan etc. directly in the same mental format without the need to verbalize.

The absurdity of the ‘love yourself’ mantra

This is something that has perplexed me since childhood.
I’d keep hearing slogans like ‘be yourself’, ‘love yourself, ‘believe in yourself’, and so on.
I used to wonder, what is this self that they are referring to, while pointing at me.
Where is this self? What is it?
Is it my image of their idea of what I am, what I should be, or what I think they want me to be?
Is it my own image of what I am independent of them being around me?
But generally my own image of what I am, is heavily and actively conditioned/influenced by who is around me (in silent or talking level interaction with me) and the larger surroundings in that place.
Even if nobody is around me, my self is some sort of a more diffused response to the environment around me.

My general personality/disposition/investments/ways of thinking-perceiving-feeling etc. are part nature and part nurture.
I can recall an active self forming at the age of 6, then a more developed one at 11, and I think after the age of 28 it seems to have stabilized itself.
But what was that active self that first formed? What existed before the age 6?
It feels like I just emerged from a bunch of situations throughout early childhood.

Ok, then was I born a clean slate? – I don’t relate with that too.
I have no continuous memories of anything below the age 4-5, but I intuit I could have already had a seed with its potentials/proclivities/tendencies/patterns (what they call samkharas and vasanas in vedic literature).
So maybe the selves that formed through 6, 11, 20, 24, 28 etc. were different milestones where a distinctive evolving pattern emerged in my vibrating sands (like the sand patterns in Cymatics as the frequency is raised).
So my deeper self then could be my bio-memory embedded in the whole body (in its trillions of cells)? – Coming from my forefathers, ancestry, genetics, lineage.
That genetics could have passed on its own fantasies, ideals, projects, works, characteristics, goals, preoccupations etc. that I identify with or dis-identify with depending on my own past lives?
In my own past lives, again the same situation might have been there, of genetics, upbringing, conditioning, social environment (the yuga at that time) and its influence etc.
So it sort of loops on itself. When did it all start?

The dilemma is like, when you are a tree, you search for your source.
You find out, you grew from a seed.
But a seed cannot grow without the fertile ground.
So the ground is also responsible for the tree.
But that seed itself has come from a previous full grown tree (the past life), and so on.
It goes into an infinite regress loop.
My whole quest to find an independent self eludes me.
I just cannot grasp a ‘me’ that exists independently.

From my contemplation, I see none of any of this is me.
Because if I can perceive it as an object,
Then the me must be separate from the object right?!
The deeper I contemplate this, I realize that what I am is transcendent of language itself.
It is a transcendent dimension, what they call consciousness.