Journey to the Abstract

My new mantra:
NOTHING ‘IS’

I am NOT.
Anything that appears
All I know is
I am NOT

Nothing is permanent
Nothing is enduring
Nothing is lasting
Nothing is real
Nothing exists

There is just a changing Nothing
Changing into various empty forms
All there is, is this Nothing.
Nothing apart from this Nothing ever was.

Everything is just made up of this Nothing
This Nothing plays out dream experiences
And experiences itself through its dream forms
But just like all dreams, everything is not real or true

Nothing is all there is.
Nothing ‘IS’
What this Nothing is!
Nobody knows
Nobody can know
It is a mystery

I am this Nothing
I am this Mystery
I cannot know myself
Because I cannot know what this Nothing is
Because even my knowing
is only one of the empty appearances in this Nothing
All my knowing is but empty appearances inside this Nothing
But what is this Nothing?

I am IT
The indescribable unknown IT
The IT that is Nothing
I am IT just like
a flame cannot burn itself
I can only abide in my nature.

The energy that upholds existence is love.
The energy that allows something to exist is love.
The energy that gives strength for something to exist is love.
The ‘What Is’ experience you are having right now exists because of love.
(which includes your self, which is part of ‘What is’)
Another way to put it would be, all creation is from love.
All existence is a creation.

The fact that YOU exist is itself a testament of that love.
Because all existence is from love (the love of god, or love of the all encompassing nature of reality).
That way, every experience you have is from love, why? because it exists.
This includes everything good/bad, turmoil/pleasure, everything.
Every appearance has love behind it.
I could call love, the ‘energy of existence’ itself (to remove its romantic connotations).

Another way to put it would be ‘Desire = Love’.
The entirety of your experience is God’s desire
(or you could say, your higher self desire, because god is whatever ceiling we can perceive, which is basically our own higher nature).
To live in this field of love, is to align one’s awareness/perception to God’s desire.
It is sublimating personal desires into God’s desire which is existence itself.

About Parents and their want/desire/love for you:

Love, want, desire = are all pretty much the same.

2 questions sum up what your life experience would be:
1. How much did your parents WANT you?
2. What do they WANT you for?

for 1., it is quantity of love available for 2.
for 2., if they want you for YOU, you have the best love in quality.
If they want you for an image, you have only love for an image.
The former creates the personality in line with the true self.
The latter creates a false self personality which is disconnected from the greater life force driving the being.

All knowledge is empty (It is only an appearance)
All identity is empty (It is only an appearance)
All experience is empty

The dark night of the soul is empty (It is just an appearance)
The illuminated state of mind is empty
Both suffering/pain and pleasure/joy are empty

Light/Day is empty
Darkness/night is empty
Both expanded and narrow consciousness are empty
All worlds are empty – physical, mental, emotional
(They are all changing appearances)

Everything is empty
Everything is an appearance
Nothing is true/real/substance/essence
The only thing that is true is ‘THAT’ (the Dao)

Everything is just the brilliant mysterious emptiness
Appearing as various forms, objects, people, worlds
All experience is like music
A pattern that forms, changes, takes on all kinds of qualities
And fades back into the quality-less silence, the unborn, the unmanifest.

No matter how much I read, understand, no matter how glorious my knowledge is, I still don’t know anything NOW apart from what appears to me NOW. All I can say is I once knew. That is not my appearance anymore. I appear to know NOW. It may disappear in the future appearance.

But this can be said about everything right, maybe you have lived through every conceivable experience in the past spanning a million years. But everything can simply disappear NOW. So the truth is ‘NOTHINGNESS’, nothing is true, no appearance is “IT”. All appearances are moved by the unknowable god reality. So I may appear to believe in something, I may appear to seek knowledge, I may appear to seek structure, I may appear to enlarge structure – help other people, setup large organizations, influence the whole world – but at the same time, I may appear to lose everything, lose the larger structure, lose my own personality structure itself, lose all belief, and come back to total nothingness like deep sleep.

So if I cannot hold on to anything, then what am I? I just have to flow as me. The me is so paper thin, it is just NOW. Everything else is what I recall from memory and my accomplishments of the past. I carry the past with me as a pride that I have done everything. But it is all maintained by maintaining structure. But the structure cannot exist without belief/revelation.

Dissolution is inevitable as you see the weight of structure you are carrying. At the same time belief creates structure. Who moves belief? – its God. So some people have large elaborate structures themselves and they fit into other larger structures and all this investment in becoming something in larger and larger structures. Its all about creating machines/structures with investment.

The reason why I feel completely alone, is because I am losing structure itself. I am unbecoming while everyone else is becoming. But what if you lost all belief? By the grace of god itself? then isn’t it logical you would lose structure too? Who are you apart from your structure? – Nobody, nothing. Just THIS. This THIS is so so so much lighter, empty, smaller, paper thin compared to my prior reality of a growing identity identity structure.

– All experience is analog (unlike digital – it is infinite, immeasurable, no-thing, not an object or comprising of objects), unique, all-encompassing, empty of essence (because it is changing even on the minutest scale – because the vibration/change is that which even makes it an experience).

– All experience moves by an unknowable divine algorithm/plan.
– But various appearances of knowing, insight, understanding, comprehension appear in the experiences.

– I can only BE this divine essence and flow with it in its mystery, I cannot know it. But I appear to know the appearances as they appear.

A train of thought I was having today. Folks might find it interesting

Knowledge of the world of men vs. knowledge of the world of God?

The knowledge in the world of men, is a layer that goes over knowledge of the world of god. It is the attempt to describe god’s various appearances.
But there is no knowledge in the world of God, there is simply 100% BEING in fearlessness. Nothing can be known in the world of God, because everything is an appearance, everything is a mystery.

Hmm, but you do have buddhic, sattvic, rajasic, tamasic gunas that appear in the world of god and these appearances can be known as they appear. But nevertheless, the true nature of everything is absolutely unknowable and a mystery. Its like I can know the apple picture shown in my computer screen, but the true nature of the ONE (the program behind the picture) animating the screen with appearances is unknowable.

Knowledge is possible only when you stand apart from being and reflect on what is seen in your mind. And then store those principles in your brain to protect you? We create an intellectual framework in this manner to function and protect ourselves. But in truth, even all that is an appearance, the intellectual framework and the knowledge that comes out of it.

If all appearances are a mystery, then knowledge we gain out of studying the appearances take 4 qualities:
– the tamasic world of materials/matter/machines/human body.
– Appearances of psychology, is the rajasic world of human psychology and emotion.
– Appearances of experiences/perceptions moment to moment is the sattvic world.
– And finally we call awareness the buddhic world, which is ever present.

The [buddhic, sattvic, rajasic, tamasic] are the broad qualities of the nature of appearances in this manifestation.
Almost like 4 layered worlds one on top of each other:
1. Material world, Human body, all machines
2. World of emotion and human psychology.
3. World of perception and experience.
4. World of awareness.
Its as if these 4 worlds are inhabited together in this manifestation.
The material world is the no most unchanging while the world of awareness is the most changing.

Spectrum:
Unchanging —-1————2—————3———–4—– Changing

What we call knowledge is mostly belonging to category 1 and 2 i.e. material world+human psychology.

The 3, 4 worlds get highly subjective, creative, more complex, diverse and more changing. So most people in the world consider that too abstract and therefore live their whole lives with structures from 1,2.

The world 3 is where we get into religion, philosophy, beliefs, ego and so on. I think world 3 is the height of what can be converted and expressed in the linguistic framework of language.

After 3, there is super rich experience, but ineffable. It cannot be reduced to language. Just like a 320kbps MP3 file if compressed to 16kbps will sounds horrible and blocky and will totally lose the original quality of the song/composition.

Then beyond 4, it is absolutely ineffable, venturing into mystical experiences, samadhis and so on.

All gross desires (to do things) will be lost.
All subtle desires(to think things) will be lost.
All gross and subtle movement of the separate self/psyche will stop.
Your ego will drift into deep sleep.
And the God reality of ‘What is’ will be still moving everything.
But “you” will be in deep sleep resting as immovable, timeless awareness and not doing anything anymore.
Because the ego drive/dream fuel/karma is exhausted.
(karma seen in this light does not look negative at all, its just dream karma).

[Even this sleeping analogy is wrong, because it implies a certain part is asleep and therefore it always exists (awake or sleeping), but in reality there is only transformation and sublimation. The same ONE STUFF transmutes and sublimates itself all the time.]

The loss of drives etc. seems to be the sleeping of the dream/ego.
Its interesting, when awareness goes to sleep, we call it ignorance.
When ignorance goes to sleep, awareness wake up to itself.
Maybe we are cyclically dreaming and waking in existence.
Egoic dreams spanning even many births and other realms
(Just like how we dream at night – many dreams in one night)
Maybe one night of ego dreams here might be a 1000 years of time.

Maybe the microcosm is the same as a macrocosm.
In the sense, maintaining the same ratios?
Like in a 24 hour period, we sleep for 1/3rd the time = 8 hours.
In that 8 hours, we dream for 3 hours.
And we are awake for 16 hours.
Now consider the ratios – 5:3:16
Maybe similarly in the grander scheme, we as souls have a 5 hour deep sleep, 3 hours of multiple egoic dreams of separation/being various creatures, and another 16 hours of being awake as a soul.
At a higher level, the oversoul might sleep 5 hours, dream paradigms/realities like this earth realm for 3 hours, and then stay awake for 16 hours. Even higher than that, we may have the various yugas – Kali Yuga, Dwarpa Yuga, Treta Yuga and Sat Yuga

It is just like the structure of cosmos too:
– The moon revolves around the earth – with a certain time period
– Earth revolves around the sun
– Sun revolves around the galaxy
– Galaxies revolve around a center too.

Now again, God can be revealed in any stage, at any time.
The revealing of god is the revealing of the substance of infinite awareness.

Sages everywhere say, waking up is moot.
But then there has to be a purpose for the ignorance too right.
It exists, its real, it is a creation of God.
Why is it there? Its obviously not bad.
Just like from a higher viewpoint, no experience is bad, everything is what it is, just like apple tastes sweet, and bitter gourd tastes bitter.

All of existence is the beloved
The objects of existence are all only imagined as objects
Without this imagination, there is only ‘That’ and ‘That’ is loved
Love is the natural experience of being the oceanic oneness
Because love is life, it IS the dynamism/electricity that moves/animates everything in existence.
So we can say, there is creation and there is love(energy that moves creation).
But all creation itself happens from love(the love that put together that creation in the first place).
If we search for the smallest atomic element, we can go infinitely small and find nothing.
So creation was put together from nothing, from love.
So we can say there is only love, that eternally moves creation appearances.

Hope and Fear are 2 sides of the same coin.
Hope means Desire.
Desire means Ignorance.
All passion is from Ignorance.
Because desire implies that you think there is something better than ‘What IS’.
But even that ‘better’ you imagine simply ‘IS’, just like right now simply ‘IS’.
All possibilities simply ‘ARE’.
Even the desire you have is part of the ‘What IS’ happening now.
The subject/desire is an object of a changing ‘What IS’.
This is seen once you see from ‘Nothing’ point of view vs. seeing from the ‘Desire/Subject’ point of view.

So the IS’ness takes over everything and swallows the subject into its objectivity.
I could also say, the IS’ness swallows objectivity into its absolute subjectivity.
Both would be right
There is only ONENESS.

It is like the separate entity/ego/you standing against the outside world, simply merges into the world, like a drop would merge into the ocean and disappear into the ocean.

You are always the ocean, but experience life as a drop lost in the ocean. When this belief vanishes, you become the ocean and the dream of the drop is dissolved into the whole.