Author: perceptionflow

Now if models are only appearances, why should I let the model dictate what I should feel? Shouldn’t it be the other way?

Sex is because of polarization. For a guy, he gets turned on as he imagines himself to be soft like a girl. A girl gets turned on when she imagines herself to be hard and tough like a guy. And then, there is this relationship of lust that develops towards this imagination. When the polarization is more intense or when the guy and girl are in the extremes of masculinity and feminity, then the lust vastly increases. Lust by nature is actually a willing deprivation. The man deprives himself of feminity and acquires it by external projection of those qualities (qualities he deprives himself of) to the girl. The girl does the same. They both stand at the ends of the magnet respectively creating greater tension. The stronger the polarization and distances from the center, more the tension energy. When they 2 unite, the 2 polarities become one and complete each other. Its similar to couple dancing. There is a lead and follower. If the follower is leading and the leader is following a bit then the dance loses its intensity.

The real truth is, the true you is neither masculine nor feminine. We polarize ourselves denying the other side and constantly chase it for a temporary release and satisfaction. So its not really real. Its an illusion but a very pleasurable one. Its similar to playing soccer for a whole hour in the sun and not drinking water and waiting till you get extremely thirsty. After the wait, when you finally drink water, there is so much satisfaction because the deprivation is removed. Denial and pleasure are highly connected.

Awareness is basically spaces. The physical world space, the emotional space, the feeling space, the mental thought/imagination space and plenty more. When activity in one space is strong, it pulls attention towards it like gravity.

What happens for me a lot of times is that, there is some somatic sensation that pulls all of my attention preventing it from going outward and expanding. The more empty my internal space is of emotion, the more transparent my body and the farther the light of attention can reach.

What happens is that my attention gets locked on to intense activity happening in my internal spaces. The more intense it is, the more attention it pulls. Its exactly like gravity or black holes of attention. An intense pain causes almost a black hole for attention energy. You can be aware of nothing but the pain. So it seems like pain demands and seizes your attention.

What is needed is regulation of attention/focus system to have freedom. For this, I need awareness of all the limiting belief structures. Then investigation and transcendence/understanding of each and finally total inclusion of all spaces and their content possibilities.

Is it possible to keep awareness continuously over the entire infinite space all the time no matter how intense a sensation is, in any plane?

Reality is basically where you put your attention. If your attention is narrow, your reality is narrow and focused. If your attention is broad, your view of reality is broad and rich. Awareness is presence and ‘attention control’ is freedom.

All that is needed is to FREE Attention. That is the ultimate freedom when there is no belief that can seize your attention in any way. No attachment to any model of the world, no attachment to any concepts of body, materiality or the existence of an other.

My associations and dissociations determine by direct experience. The things I am dissociated with impinge and suppress the things I am associated with and that creates annoyance/desire to escape. But then sometimes in social interaction, things I would normally dissociate from become associated because of the association energy of the other person. If I’m dissociated with most of the appearances in my reality, then I have a strong desire to find something to associate with. If I am associated with things I don’t desire, then I want to escape. So there is desire too, a higher element. If you are dissociated with what you desire, you suffer. If you are associated with what you do not desire, you suffer. The ideal case is, you are associated with what you desire. But then there is the unpredictable capricious reality to deal with which may or may not allow you to do that. If all desire is transcended, then there is only permanent association, presence, love.

The manifest is the wake (water waves the ship makes as it moves) of the ship that is me. My true nature is the un-manifest from where all manifestation happens as a celebration, a dream, an expression. Thinking that you are any object of manifestation is the delusion. No perception can be you, no interpretation, no sensory experience. Everything is created by the infinite un-manifest creator who is you. This creator, the ultimate subject’s expression is all the objects of experience. This ultimate subject is the Tao, logos, dhamma, witness consciousness. Your identity cannot be found in any object. It is the shift of identity from the object to the infinite potential unborn screen. After which there is just spontaneous expression, emptiness flow. It is not the small you dreaming it up, its the entire universe inside your dream, you are the ultimate creator, the dreamer of this entire dream. There is nobody or anything apart from you.

“I’ve lost all desire to experience anything that I already have before. My immediate experience is already the past, already the manifest and not me. I have lost all attachment to previous manifestations. I am entirely absorbed into the un-manifest. Ever new, ever renewing, ever refreshing. I have returned to my un-born self.”

It is this screen that knows itself and its infinite contents. Time/Space/Physical laws observed/language etc. are all qualities that the screen displays. But the screen is not bound by any of these things by its nature. That’s why its said, everything that you experience is only an appearance. Its as if you are God and morphing into a million faces for the play of it, but your nature is beyond all of the faces you appear to be.

Rest is potential energy. More the rest, more the kinetic potential. Just like if you rest more deeply at night, you will have more energy during the day. Similarly when the ‘personal will’ is resting, it accumulates potential and becomes much more powerful. When your life is out of alignment with the universal force, your ‘personal will’ is burdened and just replenishes to a break-even point in every rest cycle. So its like a hand to mouth existence, no energy is really accumulated. The way to unlimited energy and abundance is complete alignment with the universal. In all other cases, depending upon the degree of misalignment, your energy tends to get exhausted quicker.

To witness infinite potential, you would have to reach infinite rest because rest IS potential itself.

Everything I do is goal driven in a relationship. Why would I propose to meet someone? Do any activity for that matter? OR even invite someone without a plan or a goal? I obviously have a goal each time I DO anything. The same applies to work, how can I do anything without an intention or goal? Now the ‘I’ here refers to my psychic center (ego) goals.

Can a goal materialize purely from outside without involvement of this center? In which case, I am being moved by a force outside of me and surrendering to it. So I may appear to be goal driven to other people, but I am at complete rest and its a ‘BEING DONE’ vs ‘DOING’. It is a surrendering of the ‘personal will’ and a hand over to the ‘universal force’ will. In this way, the ‘personal will’ has much more power because when at rest it accumulates potential. In fact, the ‘personal will’ itself is a particular kind of manifestation of the ‘universal will’. So even you discovering ‘universal will’ and handing over your ‘personal will’ to it is a process done by the ‘universal will’. So there is only the ‘universal will’, and all manifestation in your experience is an appearance created by the universal will.

The brain on the right shows dopamine levels in normal circumstances when addicted and the left shows the normal version.

I read an article that talks about addiction not being a brain disease but more of an ‘Extreme form of learning’. Normally the dopamine rewards is released for good food, sex, social interaction etc. But here in the addiction case, all of the dopamine is redirected to the substance causing an extreme desire to have it. It is essentially a re-direction. We call it a disease and destructive more because this redirection may threaten the stability and structures of society as it is as of today. But even a mystic would be termed as disease by psychologists because of his relative detachment to things that people pursue. Psychologists are like the mental gatekeepers of our societal structure just like the police are physical gatekeepers. Their concern is first conformity and second your actual health and needs.

Source: http://blogs.plos.org/mindthebrain/2012/11/12/why-addiction-is-not-a-brain-disease/

In fact, there is an interesting question about how do we define any disease – physical (pain), mental (ability, processing, fixation), spiritual (true values, desires). It is some kind of disharmony, conflict. Perfect harmony is perfect health.

Addiction is a far broader concept than what it is generally thought to be. Addiction is not just to drugs like alcohol, cigarettes, cocaine, heroin, chocolate, weed, sex, love, sugar etc. It could be for just about anything. It could also be for certain kinds of social interactions, movies, life, state of mind, control, ideas, conceptions, models etc.

It is an entire spectrum of how much a ‘perception object’ draws you towards it.  The degree of compulsiveness the ‘perception object’ creates.

For visualization purposes imagine addiction/attachment is something like the visible light spectrum.

I sometimes wonder what is the difference between attachment and addiction?
They both seem to be essentially the same spectrum.

It seems like disease is a concept defined in society based on a certain kind of functionality expectation. When a person is unable to function in his daily office job/socially etc. then we declare him as unwell or having a disease (mental or physical). But the question is, in the absolute reality, is disease really something ‘REAL’? OR is it more of an emergent property when the individual is not in harmony with the expectations and beliefs of his environment? Any dis-ease (as we term it) is ultimately just an experience. Anything out of the defined normal is called a disease and there are all kinds of interventions (antidepressants etc.) to forceabily get the person back into harmony/conformance with the dominant socio-cultural values.

Addiction to coffee and workaholism is encouraged and not considered a disease because it is in line with the dominant culture and its values. But addiction to psychedelics and ego-dissolution techniques is considered alien and a disease. Introversion and non-participation is considered a disease because the dominant culture requires you to be an extrovert. There are tons of examples like this. 

So there is no such object called disease in absolute reality. Disease is more of an interpretation which happens when ‘What should be’ and ‘What is’ are compared. ‘What should be’ is again the definition of functional normality as defined by the dominant culture and the average collective level of consciousness. For a future human, our condition maybe a terrible disease and likewise we may view our ancestors as being terribly diseased.

So disease is not really something solid phenomena. It does not exist in the absolute sense. It is an input interpretation based on ‘X’ model and during our life we flip through many mental models ‘X’, ‘Y’, ‘Z’ etc. A disease in model ‘X’ maybe a blessing/insight in model ‘Y’.

It also opens up a larger question. That ‘All of reality is essentially input interpretation’ and interpretation happens through beliefs. So it would be quite accurate to say ‘beliefs determine reality experience’. When your belief structures are warped by psychedelics/contemplation on connections/kindness/impermanence etc., the same ordinary objects create profound religious feelings. Its as if the physical reality experience is a shadow of higher vibrational realms like the mind and belief centers.

Its as if beliefs are like the ozone layer and clouds which allow sunshine to hit the earth or not. 

The sun (God, universal force, universal energy) is always shining. Each human could be thought of as planets dancing around the sun. Lets consider earth to be one such person. The stratosphere would be the deep subconscious. The troposphere, the pre-conscious. The clouds – our daily thoughts etc. So based on these layers only a limited amount of sunshine hits the earth. If all this is cleared or made transparent through the light of awareness (the sun’s light), then there is only light since it has penetrated everything and revealed their true nature.

In a sense, all of these layers can be called diseases. The more cut of you are from the light, the more desperate you become to find it. But is it really a disease? This is after all an experience and each experience is beautiful. It is one form among the infinite appearances that are possible in awareness. How can it be inherently bad from this perspective?

Also the distinction between mental and physical diseases isn’t really there. Mental patterns congeal onto the physical dimension of energy when repeated over a long period of time OR if highly intense. A physical pattern can cause a mental fixation and thereby cause mental suffering.

This is again a spectrum with no boundary. Everything is ultimately vibration. Something like how sound and light are actually the same thing (its being debated). Sound would be the lower frequency part and light would be the higher frequency part of the same spectrum.

The body would be the slower vibration part of the spectrum while thoughts would be the higher vibration part of our ‘Spectrum of being’. Even higher in vibration would be the ‘I am ness’, ‘desire space’ and ‘belief space’. Manifestation in the lower physical spectrum can have its origin in the higher vibrational spaces like thought. Like the saying ‘Everything begins with a thought, an idea, a dream’. Also the reverse can happen. Physical pain (lower vibration) from a disease may make you change your beliefs (higher vibration). So the whole thing is one like the poles of a magnet – physical and mental realms. The interconnection is so complete that they both are really ‘ONE’. Thought influences the physical and the physical influences thought. Both physical and mental represent the one absolute being. Its just like how we call the whole band of electromagnetic spectrum ‘Light’.

The effects of all our actions occur through a probability space. Some things have much higher probability of inducing certain reactions, some of the others have a more unpredictable nature, some have low probabilities depending on what the chosen goal is. You can only perform actions in probability spaces, however the ultimate effects of your actions are driven by forces outside your control.

For example: A particular song may induce certain types of feelings in me. The overall pattern is highly probable However the exact feeling can never be recreated. There is a whole gradient of probabilities in awareness. Like if you are sick, in a very bad mood, tired, even the best songs would not be enjoyable. Whether or not some action of your will satisfy you is also a probability.

Maybe, in the previous weekend, when you had a night out and drank 4 beers, it was memorable. So you may do that again to repeat the ‘memorable’ aspect, but that again is a probability. It may or may not be memorable. Also the exact flavor can never be recreated.

These probability spaces at every moment are vibrating, pulsing, dancing etc. which is the ecstasy of life.  The more deeply you look, the more vibration is found. For example, your table looks stable. Look at it with microscopes, going progressively deeper, you’ll reach a point where electrons are moving in warp speed and your entire table is made up of those warping vibrations. The same applies to your DIRECT experience of anything. The amount of vibrations you perceive depends on the extent to which you have developed your awareness.

So every moment is completely unique. When this fully sinks in, it creates a mixed feeling of euphoria and discomfort. The discomfort is because of the groundlessness. The euphoria is because your true identity is this infinite space of manifestation.