My associations and dissociations determine by direct experience. The things I am dissociated with impinge and suppress the things I am associated with and that creates annoyance/desire to escape. But then sometimes in social interaction, things I would normally dissociate from become associated because of the association energy of the other person. If I’m dissociated with most of the appearances in my reality, then I have a strong desire to find something to associate with. If I am associated with things I don’t desire, then I want to escape. So there is desire too, a higher element. If you are dissociated with what you desire, you suffer. If you are associated with what you do not desire, you suffer. The ideal case is, you are associated with what you desire. But then there is the unpredictable capricious reality to deal with which may or may not allow you to do that. If all desire is transcended, then there is only permanent association, presence, love.