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Analogy of the Lake, True self, Life and the Ego

cc by-nc-nd Bruno Monginoux www.photo-paysage.com & www.landscape-photo.net

Lets take an analogy:
Imagine looking inside a lake of water to see oneself.
Lets say the true self (of which the reflected self is part of) is found in the ground of the lake.
Lets say the ego is an entity that is residing in the entire water column of the lake.
Even a small movement of the water, means you only see movement, a slightly disturbed reflection and not the lake bottom.
The ego could agitate both the  lower layers of the water OR higher layers.
If the higher layers are turbulent, then you only see turbulence, and you see only the distorted literals (reflections like your face, sky trees etc. but highly agitated, blurry and distorted).
If the lower layers are turbulent, and the upper layers are clear, then you see your face, trees, clouds, sky etc. fairly clear with very mild turbulence, but when you look for the ground of the lake, all you find is turbulence and the unknown. Once the entire water in the lake stops moving  i.e. if the ego relinquishes itself to the truth, then in that stillness, you could see through all of the water and  the ground of the lake.
Life is the reflection in the lake.
Your true nature is the entire lake and its ground.
The entire lake – ground + water is your psyche and life is the reflections (appearances) on the lake water.
The ego is a hijacking entity living in the entire water, that agitates the part of the reflection in the lake that is not favorable to itself, and stops this agitation once it finds what it wants, but the algorithm is such that after a short pleasure from the release of finding what it wants, it creates another desire. So it is as if things are back to square one again for the ego (as if nothing was ever got).
So we could say the ego is a fractal entity living in the water, that conditionally withdraws its agitating action when the life reflection is desired, and disturbs and agitates the water when the life reflection is undesirable to itself.
The only power the ego has is to agitate the water (the water is the whole psyche substance say) i.e. agitate the psyche substance.
So it could be said, the ego is an ‘Awareness obscuring’ entity.
The ego could be said to be a fossilized repression of consciousness.
It continues to exist until the divine light penetrates it and make conscious what was unconscious (ego).
The whole world or life is reflected in the water i.e. psychic substance.
The truth of one’s true being is found from looking into the water of the lake (i.e. looking into the depths of the psyche to find infinity).
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Existence cannot be comprehended, it is ABSURD

I think my mind can understand existence.
But existence is simply ABSURD.
It is beyond understanding.
Spectrum:
Subtle ————————————————————————–Gross
Ultimate Reality –> Belief, Self –> Thoughts –> Emotion/Energy –> Actions
How can Emotion understand Thought, when emotion comes from thought?
How can Actions understand Emotion causing them?
How can Thought understand the Belief generating it?
Finally how can belief, thought, emotion or action understand the ultimate reality from which all of these rise from.
To go into the subtlest realm and access the ultimate reality, awareness has to become very fine, very quiet, very still.
The skill required to reach ultimate reality is analogous to the spectrum below:
Cutting vegetables (ordinary awareness) ——————-Brain surgery with a scalpel (ultimate reality subtlety)
In a way suffering, disease are all experiences on the same ultimate screen in different forms.
Depression too is an appearance in the ultimate screen.
Why does depression exist (or any other condition) maybe asked by the mind.
Then we could trace it back – from physical –> emotion –> thinking –> belief –> ultimate reality.
A human’s ultimate question is WHY? WHY THIS? But even asking why assumes certain things like – there is cause-effect, a cause for every effect, a reason for every happening. When those assumptions are broken. Everything just IS.
Then there is the transcendence of reason. This is beyond reason, beyond cause.
This is causeless and simply IS.
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Interacting with people with different levels of consciousness

IMG_20150507_161514~2

Lets say there is a person H with levels 5,4,3,2,1 conscious.

Lets say there are 3 other people I, J, K. (The others A, B,C, D, E, F, G, H are just placeholders)

For I – levels 0,1 are conscious. Levels 3,4,5 are unconscious (as shown in the shaded area).

For J – levels 0,1,2,3 are conscious but levels 4,5  are unconscious.

For K – levels 0,1,2 are conscious but levels 3,4,5 are unconscious.

So lets say level 5 –> controls level 4 –> controls level 3 –> controls level 2 –> controls level 1 –> controls level 0.

Spectrum in each quadrant:

Level n = Infinite ———————————– Level 0 = 1 possibility

So the stuff H create in levels 4,5 is incomprehensible to I, J and K.

Similarly stuff H creates in levels 3 is incomprehensible to I,K – and stuff H creates in level 2 is incomprehensible to I.

So imagine instead of H having 5 levels of conscious, H advances and moves to the 15th level, then H is literally alone in 13 levels of creation.

So this might cause H to feel completely alien, like a much vaster creature.

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99.99% of our reality is the experience of our own personal psyche stuff

99.99% of reality is personal psyche stuff.
99.99% of the experience we have is from psychic projections/movement.
Only 0.1% of reality is the sensory world that is more or less objective and shared.
The external world/shared more or less objective reality/sensory reality is paper/wafer thin i.e. it forms a negligible part of reality experience.
That is why the dark night experience or ecstasy experiences can happen to anyone in any situation.
The external situation is irrelevant to such an ecstasy or dark night despair.
Because these experiences directly happen in the personal psyche as a certain projections movement.
So you could be in junkyard and feel almost 100% ecstasy, or be in the most beautiful safe place in the world and face a near 100% dark night despair.
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4 Golden rules for life

Rule 1: What others think about themselves and you, is their responsibility
Rule 2: What you think about yourself and others is your responsibility.
Rule 3: Do not take what is not freely given.
Rule 4: Do not give what is not freely taken.
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Dark night experiences

The route to hell is simple. If you are experience is at an emotional rock bottom, and when you have lost all strength to put on a mask of even basic happiness or something acceptable, then you carry and display the very experience which everyone abhors. Initially you struggle to put on a mask that can at-least grant you the most basic of acceptance. But later, there is no more energy to repress anything OR put on any kind of mask beyond a very short period of time. You are going through the deepest pit of despair that everyone loathes. How much can you hide it? You need people for your survival. Every person you can ever meet, reacts to you, the same way they themselves would react if they had the same emotion. However, they see you as SEPARATE, NOT THEM, and you remind them of their repressed horrific emotion. Most people simply walk away in a blink, and outright reject. The one’s who stay are usually ones who might exploit you, punish you, or be severely cruel and so on.
Its like you represent the experience itself that can provoke emotions like fear, horror, disgust. People witnessing that would accordingly react with all kinds of cruelty and rejection, because since they have repressed this experience in themselves, they see this(i.e.you) as AN OTHER and attempt to destroy THIS OTHER. So in your reality, all you have is cruelty, rejection, isolation, deprivation, starvation of every kind for who you are (i.e you in that emotional state, as long as you are in it).
So in other words, nobody will love you in that state, except you yourself. Maybe some very few great people can love you even when you are in that state. But most people will be afraid of you, reject you, or inflict all kinds of cruelty on you. Some people might be with you, if they too share elements of your rock bottom state but many a times, you might witness them hating themselves for feeling the same stuff. Since you are feeling the same, their hate of that stuff, is actually a hate of you (as long as you experience it). So you will have to witness them, in a way, hating you.
Its as if you are a walking sticky tar. Nobody wants to be near you, touch you, or have anything to do with you. Because now by virtue of your love, your consciousness is living the potentials of its greatest repression (and the repression shared by 99.9% of humanity). But only your own love and acceptance can take you through. This is a hero’s journey. In-spite of every single person’s opposition, rejection, cruelty, disgust, hatred, repulsion, avoidance, In-spite of every kind of privation and isolation, you stand and face the turbulent storm alone and love those parts which the entire of humanity cannot stand to see even for a brief second.
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There is no ideal action, no ideal way to bring up a child

In a way, I can see there is no way to ideally bring up a child.
For every (A) that I do, there is always an (A!)
If my child is a genius or idiot, bright or dull, sad or happy etc.
Each is a different WHOLE PARALLEL COMPLETE INFINITY
In whichever way you bring up a child, it just creates a different experience.
What is the value of experience?
I could focus on the gain OR focus on the loss and accordingly see different pictures
But what is the true picture when seen in totality?
This could apply to any personal action of any sort.
There is no way to absolutely win.
There is no absolute ideal action one can take.
All actions in the absolute sense are equivalent.
Its only relative actions that have this concept of winner/loser and so on.
In the absolute sense,
Each action spawns a new reality and this new reality is as real/valid/complete as the old.
This ties back to an earlier blog post I had written about ‘What is the value of experience’?
What is the value beyond the super ego value judgment framework put on it?
If the value of a thing is dependent on the super ego framework of the individual perceiver,
Then there is no absolute value for anything, value is entirely subjective.
Half full or half empty, but in both cases the whole picture is always the same.
The full does not exist without the empty.
The empty does not exist without the full.
If entirely full, I would not perceive the glass were entirely full.
If entirely empty, I would not perceive the glass were empty.
What about 25% full, 75% empty?
What about 75% full, 25% empty?
That is possible only when not seeing the entire picture.
Its like looking at ying yang circle with a smaller scope and as you move the scope around you see changing ratios of white to black.
Experience is like the poles of a magnet.
You can split it and smash it into as many tiny pieces
However even the tiniest piece will show polarity (-ve and +ve)
This is because in every explicit perception there is an equivalent implicit perception.
So Explicit + Implicit = Always Whole, no matter what the perception is.
The relative universe is the game of the absolute, by first spitting into duality.
All the games then happen within duality with infinite variety.
But all of this is contained in the SCREEN of the ABSOLUTE.
Karma is inevitable in all action and non-action.
Even karma moves experience to a different STATE.
Every experience or STATE is equally valuable, just like every picture is equivalent on a TV screen.
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The importance of having an ego

The realization is more about DIS-IDENTIFICATION with the ego in whatever form it exists. It is about being identified with the formless quality-less infinite consciousness. It is not about removing the ego. It is about being dis-identified, realizing that you have infinite choice and freedom, and that you have infinite adaptability and flexibility to create any ego you deem best serves the reality appearance.

The ego needs to exist, because without that, there is no basis for reality, no coherence, just complete noise signal.  The ego is the prism of this noise signal of reality, and it converts it to a defined coherent picture or movie.

My quest is to move more and more towards better creating an authentic self/ego for myself, and live with it in a way that serves (in harmony and awareness) the ultimate reality of consciousness as it appears moment to moment.

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About myself

In my childhood I was given very little ego structure.
So in a way, the structure of my identity was very diaphanous and airy, non-solid.
It would allow a LOT more reality.
There was not enough structure to repress.
So it was like living in a kind of psychosis.
So my enlightenment now is a movement from mild psychosis to full release.
That is why I am so much more in touch with infinite potential, because without a structure to really repress things, I got a trailer of infinity all throughout my childhood for a long time.
But my identification with a weak ego which is unable to repress, led me to develop various avoidance  patterns to protect myself.
This had therefore become a burden, causing me to seek enlightenment, remove my repression and get RELEASE.
The accommodations I had made to protect the ego made everything TOO restricting/limited/stifling.
I just wanted to FREE myself and know who I am.
Since I had seen so many realities, I was somehow in touch with a deeper truth,  I knew the direction I had to move to find the truth.
I always had the light with me.
Since I had a weak ego structure, I could not easily repress (repression needs a strong structure as a pre-requisite)
This caused the psychosis, adhd like situation.
So I had to stay in bounds and avoid a lot of things, to prevent myself from getting overwhelmed and threatening the framework.
If the framework got threatened, I would dissociate, withdraw and use other extreme steps to protect myself which was a lot of suffering to resist so much.
In childhood and even now in a way, I kept getting a mystical trailer of various infinite broad realities.
An analogy would be like, for most people, they see the movie of their life with one or a few themes.
In my case, without sufficient repression I was like naturally on a psychedelic trip.
I saw several themes, several flavors in the broadest ways.
But all of them had this painful identification with the ego which always restricted me a lot, caused a lot of suffering, avoidance, fear.
The psychosis meant a LOT more reality as experience entered me, so it created a severe mental decision challenge when I could see so much.
Now I see, I cannot understand infinite or God.
I simply serve the mysterious infinite as it appears moment to moment.
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What is the unconscious?

‘The Unconscious’ is basically ‘potential forms of consciousness’ that are prevented from entering consciousness by elaborate egoic mechanisms and repression.

For example: A workaholic may spend his whole day being productive to avoid the dual of feeling worthless.

The being identified with ego always lives in a state of tension and fear, because the unconscious is always threatening the ego by impinging on its boundaries.

So the ego creates elaborate mechanisms to prevent the unconscious (a bunch of repressed/non-accepted potentials of consciousness) from entering consciousness.

A weak ego, with weak repression, becomes desperate to prevent itself from being swallowed by the unconscious. The false identification with the ego, makes us believe we are something i.e. (finite infinite) and have to protect ourselves and fear the (infinite infinite) from swallowing us.