Dark night experiences

The route to hell is simple. If you are experience is at an emotional rock bottom, and when you have lost all strength to put on a mask of even basic happiness or something acceptable, then you carry and display the very experience which everyone abhors. Initially you struggle to put on a mask that can at-least grant you the most basic of acceptance. But later, there is no more energy to repress anything OR put on any kind of mask beyond a very short period of time. You are going through the deepest pit of despair that everyone loathes. How much can you hide it? You need people for your survival. Every person you can ever meet, reacts to you, the same way they themselves would react if they had the same emotion. However, they see you as SEPARATE, NOT THEM, and you remind them of their repressed horrific emotion. Most people simply walk away in a blink, and outright reject. The one’s who stay are usually ones who might exploit you, punish you, or be severely cruel and so on.
Its like you represent the experience itself that can provoke emotions like fear, horror, disgust. People witnessing that would accordingly react with all kinds of cruelty and rejection, because since they have repressed this experience in themselves, they see this(i.e.you) as AN OTHER and attempt to destroy THIS OTHER. So in your reality, all you have is cruelty, rejection, isolation, deprivation, starvation of every kind for who you are (i.e you in that emotional state, as long as you are in it).
So in other words, nobody will love you in that state, except you yourself. Maybe some very few great people can love you even when you are in that state. But most people will be afraid of you, reject you, or inflict all kinds of cruelty on you. Some people might be with you, if they too share elements of your rock bottom state but many a times, you might witness them hating themselves for feeling the same stuff. Since you are feeling the same, their hate of that stuff, is actually a hate of you (as long as you experience it). So you will have to witness them, in a way, hating you.
Its as if you are a walking sticky tar. Nobody wants to be near you, touch you, or have anything to do with you. Because now by virtue of your love, your consciousness is living the potentials of its greatest repression (and the repression shared by 99.9% of humanity). But only your own love and acceptance can take you through. This is a hero’s journey. In-spite of every single person’s opposition, rejection, cruelty, disgust, hatred, repulsion, avoidance, In-spite of every kind of privation and isolation, you stand and face the turbulent storm alone and love those parts which the entire of humanity cannot stand to see even for a brief second.

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