Journey to the Abstract

I occupy a band of energy from [Subtle——Gross]
I’m moving towards subtler and subtler truths as the veils are getting lifted more and more.
I am the subtlest most powerful force in the universe – God, but I am right now veiled from that knowledge and all that is subtler than the “band” that I occupy is seen as a unknown mystery force.

The subtle forces invest themselves into the gross material objects of the world and cathect themselves to it.
When the subtle forces lose interest in the world objects, the cathection goes away.
When the subtle forces withdraw from the world itself, one is absorbed in other energetic realities and focus/tuning on this physical/sense/object/form world can only be maintained with effort.
So dark night of senses, is the turning away of loved subtle energies from the sense objects.
The dark night of the soul, is the turning away of subtle energy forces from belief and personality/ego.
The entry of subtle forces is LIFE.
The departure of subtle forces is DEATH.
The subtle forces are what enliven.
There are various depths of subtle forces from:
Subtle ————————– Gross
And various dances can happen.

Manifestation flows from the subtle to the gross.
In this diagram, there are 6 subtle bodies (s1 to s6) finally culminating into the gross body (G) or physical body.
Ultimate all manifestation is flowing from the infinitely subtle, but one may be veiled from the subtlest bodies.
For example in the diagram shown, one may only experience s3,s4,s5,s6,G and there might be a veil between s2 and s3. We may call s2 – subconscious and s3 – unconscious for instance.
These 2 subtle bodies are driving your experience but are not in your experience because they are veiled from you.
Another reason this veiling might happen is because the energies are too active in the lower subtle bodies, as a result they overshadow the subtler bodies completely. Just like you cannot hear your fan running when the TV is loud.
Just as we have death and dissolution of the gross body, we can also have death and dissolution of subtle bodies too. In this case, any invisible subtle body from s1-s6 can undergo a dissolution and you would feel it in your experience.
So death/transformation/dissolution is not necessarily only of the gross (G) but it can apply to any of the subtle bodies too (s1-s6) causing a dark night of the soul for the person experiencing this subtle body death.

Also a higher subtle body can transform a lower subtle body.

For example, if s1 is the all pervading consciousness (I AM), then it can take up center stage and dissolve all the other subtle bodies (s2, s3, s4, s5, s6) , if that is your desire which would come from beyond/above s1 (something even subtler).

Form is a lower kind of life.
Form is subjected to birth and death, or the entry and withdrawal of life force.
Form is a gross entity that is enlivened by the entry and exit of the subtle life force.
Identification with form, and not life means, you will have to experience your death, which is the most painful, where each part of the form screams as it is dries up, withers, decays from lack of support from life force.
It is life that creates and withdraws itself from form creating birth and death.
As long as one is identified with form, one is subject to birth(infusion of life force) and death (vacating of life force).
It is only when identification shifts to life force itself, that one sees the larger picture and sees the form as a passing experience and not as oneself – just as one wears an overcoat for a while and then removes it.

To make it more clear, it is life itself that experiences itself in form so that it can experience the process of birth and death as an adventure.
When one transcends birth and death, it is simply that life moves on to a greater subtler presence that transcends the form.
There is only a movement from smaller life to greater life.

We are all a part of life cycles operating with different time-periods.
For example the life cycle of a may-fly is completed in 24 hours. (shortest life span insect on earth)
While the life cycle of humans happens in around 80-90 years.
The time period is different, but the principle of the birth and death cycle is the same.
All form is subject to the birth and death cycle, no matter what the time period may be.
All temporal objects themselves are subject to ‘birth and death’ or more appropriately ‘arising and passing’.
That is because life cannot imprison itself to living as an unchanging form.
The movement of life is towards greater change/greater aliveness.
Taking various forms is the path of life/spirit growth journey.
The fun is in the growth itself/the journey itself and the ultra-real illusions.

I am only a witness of this play of supporting and opposing forces.
Being witness sets the forces free, and they can interact in any sort of pattern.
They illuminate each other, so every perception is an illumination.
All forces interdependently make each other apparent (appearance).
I am none of the individual forces’ themselves.
Rather I am the emptiness field (fine substance) in which these forces move by themselves in my effortless mysterious higher nature.
The 2 sides of my nature are Shakti and Shiva,
And they mutually interdependently illuminate each other.
I am THAT, which is both Shakti and Shiva.

What is experienced as harmony or disharmony is a play of forces (force vectors) within you consciousness field.
Who I truly am, is the consciousness/witness.
The invisible mysterious waves that move my energy field to create this appearance, is the mystery, and I am THAT MYSTERY too.

Regarding the experience of forces,
Say, you feel an impulse to do something.
If there are no opposing forces you would glide with that impulse with 0 resistance.
In a sense, you would not even cognize the impulse itself because there is no opposition to it.
Remember, it is only the opposition that illuminates the impulse force itself.
Without an opposition, you will not even perceive the impulse as an impulse.
You will not even be conscious of it and JUST DO IT.
So opposition is a prerequisite for awareness of the impulse itself.

Now, let’s say there are opposing forces.
You feel an impulse to do something.
If the opposing forces are stronger, you will feel like you have to PUSH through something to do the thing.
It might feel like your moving in water if the opposition is a simmering constant, a general disapproval of the action.
The opposition force flavor can also feel like you are moving against a large rubber band attached to your waist. In which case the more you move, the more it would make it harder to move.
Also when such a rubber band like opposing force is resisted against by intense effort, when the effort is dropped, you will snap back to 0, losing all the attainment.

Let’s say a boy is tied to a pole via a rubber band.
The boy represents your impulse to do a certain action.
The pole represents your desire for status quo.
Now as you go along with the impulse,
You will find yourself struggling to move beyond a certain point.
If you identify with the boy alone, you will feel you are inhibited by hostile invisible forces in the world OR you may project these forces to some person/situation and blame that for your inability to move.
If you identify with the pole, then you will feel like you just want peace, but some unwanted forces are constantly shoving you around (you will feel like a victim to these forces)

The real truth of the matter is that,
You are both the boy and the pole.
When you identify with the boy or the pole alone,
It is a case of identifying with a part, and not the whole
But in truth, you are the whole.
You are both the supporting and opposing force.
They are both in your energy.
Interestingly, they both create each other too.
If there was no boy, then the pole would not feel its inertia.
And if there was no pole, the boy would not feel himself too as he moves.
So look at your entire situation in life and appreciate it
It is ONE package.
The beauty is seen only in the gestalt
It is only when you identify only with a part that you suffer.

The depth of a relationship depends on the extent of willingness from both directions, in both the people.
My will to share – Her will to receive
My will to receive – Her will to share

Pain and pleasure exist in relativity.
Pleasure is greater life, and pain represents lesser life.
The direction of movement towards greater life is the VERB of pleasure
The direction of movement towards lesser life is the VERB of pain

Pain is basically something needing life.
A dead sensation that lingers day after day.
OR a fixed pattern of sensations.
Note here that pain and pleasure are verbs and not nouns.
Without movement, there is only a ‘SENSATION’ present which cannot be called pain or pleasure.
Pain is something that stifles you.
Pleasure is something that opens you.

Look at your energy field and all its activity.
There are varying degrees of life in various parts of your energy.
The ones less alive become pain.
The ones more alive are experienced as pleasure.
But both pain and pleasure are mutually supporting each others’ perception (relativity).

All fixed RELATIVELY unchanging sensations/perceptions are lack of life.
So essentially, we have a part of us that is most alive and that is the part that feels dissatisfied and tries to elevate other parts to its level of aliveness.

All there is, is the flow of the ONE energy.
And I am that flow.

Everything single concept/hierarchy/structure/philosophy/idea/belief/ideology gets in the way, including the master concept of yin-yang.
Non-dual awareness is to BE ONE and function as the ONE.
Free-falling into the mystery of the ONE (like skydiving/free-falling into the infinite)

Images -> mapped to feeling, feeling potentials, feeling investments, cathexis/libido.
Decathecting of images = the vacating of feeling

In the process of transformation –
1. [feeling dies first, decathexsis happens] then
2. [The image itself fades from memory and one is cleared of it]
In some sense, the 1. and 2. happen together.
The image and feeling are inseparable.
Stronger the feeling = stronger the image.
Its like a glowing copper rod from passing electric current.
Electric current = Life Energy
Copper Rod = Image
Glowing of the Rod from the current = Cathecting of the image with feeling (rendering the image visible)

At a deep level, this whole physical reality is something we cathect to
Death may represent the decathecting and withdrawal from this body and world formation itself
We make all this real with our own cathection
Just like how we drift into the dream at night
Which represents some kind of shifting cathexis from this realm into the dream world
Your cathexis could shifts into 1/2 dream world, 1/2 physical world and this could represent the entry into the symbolic worlds of the soul (being in the world but not of it)

Its like a DEEP CHOICE we have made to cathect to this world.
it is our deepest desire to be exactly here
And experience exactly as we do
We do love pain and suffering and that is why we even chose to incarnate on this realm to experience this
The journey can be seen as, how we forgot our own deepest wish (which is analogous to our own true self) and how we navigate our way into remembering.
Once we die and see the true nature of everything, we may look in wonder and behold this strange journey

All that we don’t have, we have willfully denied ourselves as part of the journey
All love is not coming from outside, but rather all is from beyond
“All” emerges from the source and fills you up
Ihe connection with the outer is only an illusion/appearance
Its what you believe that creates experience
If I believe I am unloved, no matter how well a person gives me attention, I might believe deep inside he disregards me and experience reality as such.
The opposite is true when I believe I am loved
Even if everyone ignores me, I will still feel they love me
The same would apply for acceptance too
So everything truly comes from the divine (everything comes from the divine nothing into the appearance we see)
The appearance of all inner and outer causation is an illusion and a dream like appearance, when the real source of everything is the “divine nothing”.
All poverty, all riches, everything comes from the ONE
That ONE is our higher self that creates this WHOLE PLAY of our life
Our lower self is a part appearance in this whole experience.