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If a person constantly gets themselves in a bad, low vibration, dull, heavy, sticky mood, listless mood and then demands that the other get into the same state of feeling in the name of care, love, concern, empathy and love, something is SERIOUSLY SERIOUSLY wrong and needs to be urgently investigated!!!! Those words need serious redefinition.

Emotions like Fear, Guilt, Shame, Neglect, Dissociation only exist in darkness.

Imagine you had a mansion with 10 rooms. 3 of them, you have decorated and visit everyday. But the other 7, you have locked them up and believe that there is something terrible in each of them. You never open those doors because of that belief.

These beliefs/imaginations/stories about what lies behind those doors is stuff like:

Fear(something in the room will scare the shit out of you)

Guilt(something in the room will make you a slave and subjugate you)

Shame (something horrible is inside this room)

Neglect (something totally worthless is there inside)

Dissociation (could be a combo of something worthless, horrible, scary, subjugating)

So I say, its all darkness, because, what is in the room is not known to awareness. The belief shadows the whole of these rooms.

This question is irrelevant. After all, if you ARE with WHAT IS happening, then there is no fragment to stand apart and judge the other fragments as good or bad. You are so totally THAT, that the judger too gets absorbed into the THAT.

In emotions we broadly have focusing/narrowing/inhibiting/coalescing emotions and dispersing/spreading/disinhibiting/freeing emotions. Additional each of those emotion types could be +ve or -ve.

In short:
Focusing emotions (+ve, -ve)
Dispersing emotions (+ve, -ve)

Focusing emotions:

Shame, Guilt, Fear – Inhibitory, Negative Controlling & Focusing of Attention

Curiosity, Fascination, Passion – Inhibitory, Positive Controlling & Focusing of Attention

Dispersing emotions:

Wonder, Love, Creativity – Dis-inhibiting, Positive, Freeing of Attention

Chaos, Confusion, Spacing out – Dis-inhibiting, Negative, Freeing of Attention

The truth needs no borrowed energy. It is absolutely effortless, spontaneous and independent. The false stuff (maintained through stress and borrowed energy) has to be done away with to find the truth.

I initially started observing that I could stay equanimous at the sensation level (esp. vipassana retreat) i.e. which is essentially no pushing or pulling at any sensation, at the sensation level. Then later, I noticed the same exact thing also applies to the thought level.

What is our reaction to thought – push or a pull. For some thoughts we react with a pushing force (i.e. we try to push them away). For certain other thoughts, there is a pulling force (i.e. we try to pull it towards us, it could be for various reasons, even when we are intently trying to solve our long standing problem, or when we get obsessed with something, we are pulling on it).

It is possible to be equanimous at both levels i.e. no push, pull in sensation and no push, pull in the thought space. In reality there is no separate thought space and sensation space. They both permeate each other. The gross and the subtle permeate each other and exist in the same singular space of awareness.

You will never find what you seek by striving for it. Because that is the game itself. It is a fractal game that plays endlessly. There is no end-point in anything. Everything eternally moves. Absolutely, there is nowhere to go, nothing to attain/seek/do.

This game space/sandbox allows you to play any kind of game forever. Can you even imagine a time in your life when you would have satisfied every possible desire and you have completely finished it up? Nope. No such end point exists. In fact if at all it exists, it exists NOW, this moment is the Nirvana, if you surrender completely to it, that is the ultimate satisfaction and mystical moment you can have. Because you cannot find yourself, but looking outside of in Time or Space.

There can be good and bad systems of enmeshment when the 2 parts can supportive or destructive to each other, or 1 part could destroy the other. There are a number of enmeshment combinations possible.
Enmeshment is voluntarily/involuntarily giving away power to the other person.
Its like in the spectrum there is:
Total independence, 0 relationship ————— Total Enmeshment, 100% relationship. In math, enmeshment is 1+1 = 1, i.e. there is no individuation.
So the idea is that, the ideal place to stay is to explore and be flexible completely towards both ends of the spectrum and be comfortable everywhere.
It is however always easier to start from independence and then slowly move in as the parties gain more and more balance. After all when you lean forward, you do it slowly right so that you do not tip over?

Enmeshment is like siamese twins. Total independence is like 2 people living separate lives in different countries.

When I look at the whole all movement stops, i.e. looking at all the forces in my awareness. Since I see all the contradictory forces, the resultant seeking energy is close to 0.

There is completeness, there is wholeness, the perception of movement has stopped. I am still. it is seeing the gestalt of the gestalt of the gestalt which ->tends to-> [0 movement, wholeness ]

‘I’ move only when I am identified with 1 fragment seeking another fragment,  but when I identify with the whole space of it…..I am still and things only move within me. I am nothing, and all the somethings appear, move and disappear in me

The somethings are only possibilities in the infinite nothing… the something is one of the possible modulations in the nothingness field

The nothingness field, is impossible to know, it is the ultimate mystery…because by definition if you try to imagine, know nothing, it is not nothing, but a something….it is not possible to know it, it is only possible to BE IT, LIVE IT

Living from the Unmanifest unborn, is living in the ultimate reality

Only the self is truly loved.