Libido = Interest = Heart = Inspiration = Love

Libido = Interest = Heart = Inspiration = Love
All 5 seem to be the same.
They are all in the realm of feelings.
Knowledge and skills are an accumulation that happens through the above 5.
The 5 are absurd and mysterious, an unfolding.
The reasons we give for their existence is also because of interest/libido/heart/inspiration/love, i.e. interest in giving a reason.
In other words, there is no REAL reason for ‘Why you like what you like’.
But there are ‘Apparent reasons’ (i.e. reasons based on how far you can deduce and based on your logic models).
The ‘First Cause/Reason’ is a mystery.
The dark night case: RETURN TO THE ABSTRACT – The Journey
The libido/interest/heart/inspiration/love going back into God/Source withdrawing from all creation/(things of God) and progressively stepping into the unknown abstract is part and parcel of the dark night. It is the RETURN TO THE ABSTRACT (the most abstract/subtle being God). The interest in concrete stuff is left behind and the interest moves into subtler and subtler (more and more abstract) realms until it returns to the infinite abstract i.e. God. This requires a withdrawal from all CREATION/THINGS OF GOD and RETURN TO THE GROUND OF BEING.

All experience is from the Mystery

All experience is from ‘God/Mystery/Ultimate’.
The only thing to do is ‘Experience Fully’.
Stay in full ‘clarity’.
Take full power of consciousness.
Let the ‘Now’ moment be the reality all the time.
Be aware of all ‘Doing’.
Even my ‘self’ is an unconscious ‘doing’ I do.
All attachment must be released to let everything flow.

Thoughts about ‘potentials of experience’

Birth is basically birth of a potential.
The feeling of potential OR possibilities is what is felt in childhood.
The experience of death is the experience of loss of potential.
There is the experience of great potential – which is divine inspiration.
There is the experience of little potential – seen as depression (loss of what is loved, which is inspiration)
The attachment is attachment to potentials of experience.
Are we afraid of pain, or are we basically afraid of loss?
Is pain concomitant with loss?
Loss of what we love?
Loss of what we are attached to?
Not necessarily specific objects but it could also be the loss of abstract objects like – loss of ability to verbalize, loss of ability to communicate, loss of ability to understand/make sense of anything, loss of the potential to feel/to think, loss of familiarity – replacement of what is loved with the dual – insecurity, chaos, ambiguity, unknowing, evil, suffering, separation (if what is loved is – security, coherence, clarity, knowing, good, peace, union).
Loss of capacities of psyche – for example you may hear music but not in the matching energetic frequency to sync with it, harmonize with it, union with it.
Death is basically fading away of potentials.
When most potentials fall away, you are left with your root potentials.
The deepest potential loss if ego death, where the potential to ‘selfing’ is lost.
Energy gives rise to potentials. 
Energy = Potentials. Loss of energy = loss of potentials. Energy is similar to money.
When you have a lot of money – a lot of potentials open up. You may or may not use them. But if you have no money, you don’t have those potentials either.
So dark night is basically loss of potentials and the grieving of loss of potentials.
The depression is from the loss of potentials. The struggle is 2 faced: on the one hand, shortage of energy makes living daily life expectations a stretch and difficult – its as if your fatigued and exhausted all the time. The 2nd struggle is the depression itself because of grieving the loss of potentials which were once there.
Rest in the potentials of ‘What is’ as it appears NOW.
Because I see potentials, I never feel like I’ve done a good enough job at anything.
Because I know what it is to really know something. But thats the interesting part, there is nowhere to go. So it does not matter. I can simply observe how far I can see and how far I’ve reached without investment and simply allow happening.
All potentials have to be dealt with equanimity:
Some potentials are karmic repetitive cyclic, habitual and occur with triggers.
So I just patiently observe what happens, the mechanism, what the trigger is and so on.
All my memories are potentials for experiences.
Even recalling them is potentials for experiences.
So the push/pull, grasping/pushing, craving/aversion, attachment/repulsion apply to all potentials too.
All experience is empty – positive and negative.
Experience itself is empty in all its infinite forms. Its a lila/play/dance of empty experiences. There is 100% change. Memory is the only tool we use to hold on. Actually, memory also when seen is simply another empty changing experience. This is the truth of emptiness.
That is why there is nowhere to go, nothing to do, nothing to be, because the potential driving the need to go, do, be itself is also an empty appearance. This potential is not you. You are simply nothing, or the ground of all appearances/experiences. All experiences are appearances. There is only an eternal free fall into emptiness dancing as forms.
 
As the fire of illumination fills you up, the truth of NOW becomes obvious. The ISness, the YOU ARE THAT. I am the ground of all experience. The ONE TASTE, the unitive flavor of all opposites, everything is ultimately experience, and all experience is empty when seen closely (because it changes).
What we are scared of/fear is also potentials:
Heaven is the potential for gain, joy, pleasure and happiness.
Hell is the potential for loss, suffering, misery, struggle.
Like what is horror, to be stuck in a reality that threatens everything you love, everything you are, everything you are attached to.
A union is made, when 2 potentials match each other.
Which is sharing the same goals.
The highest potential is God Awareness.
So 2 people in the goal to reach God awareness can have the potential for highest union.

The journey to the Effortless, Causeless Reality

Your egoic actions change the causeless, effortless reality(God’s karma) into a caused, effort created reality (causation bound, personal karma) which follows cause-effect rules.
But the causeless reality always lies underneath, when all effort is dropped.
Effort created reality in fact rides on the eternal wave of the causeless reality.
Why do we not drop all effort?
Because we are attached or identified with effort created realities.
So as the penetration of the fire of consciousness happens, the effortless reality is accepted more and more and the effortful or effort created reality is relinquished.
Eventually, one’s abides in the causeless, effortless reality and acts from God’s will and relinquishes all personal will to God (which is the truth anyway, even personal will is given to us by God only, but we think we exist as something separate with autonomy, the realization here would be of the fact that ‘There is no doer apart from God’).

Mind and Heart

IMG_20150531_211711~01

A very simple but effective model for our EXPERIENCE would be to divide it into ‘Mind’ and ‘Heart’.
The ‘Heart’ is the master which gives ‘context’ to the mind or what ‘direction’ the mind should follow.
The mind’s task is to satisfy the heart by using its powers.
The heart is basically ‘What you feel’, your feelings, whose epicenter is in the solar plexus area.
The mind on the other hand has its epicenter in the forehead between the eyebrows.
The heart represents the mystery of life. Its not logical/rational and does not follow any conceptualized rules.
The heart is absurd to the mind, when seen from the mind’s point of view.
But ultimately it is the heart that gives the very context for the mind and its goals.
To keep both in harmony, it is necessary to pay equal attention to both.
The Heart = Love, Interest, Feeling
The Mind = Wisdom, Knowledge
Also, the ‘Heart’ overall is the master.
The mind should take the subordinate role to the heart.
Ultimately, the models of the mind should serve the heart.
This is because, existence is a mystery and the heart and feelings are the compass in this mystery, not the mind.
The mind is like a torchlight used by the heart to navigate this mystery.

Truth can only be found in YOUR Experience

IMG_20150531_125631~01
In the diagram, observers 1-9 wear the consensus reality lens and see the ‘Consensus Truth’.
Observers 10,11,12 are in altered realities and see 3 truths respectively – truth1, truth2, truth3
The consensus truth is not THE TRUTH which is the mistake science commonly makes, because it does not take into account the observer and his/her lens itself which conditions what is seen. What if the lens itself is changed? (As what happens when on psychedelics).
The REAL TRUTH = {consensus truth, truth1, truth2, truth3………………….truth (n)}
So the entire consensus reality we take to be the truth is only one of the possibilities of REAL TRUTH.
Ultimately there is only reality as YOUR INNER EXPERIENCE.
Even your perception of others, the world, the outside and so on, is YOUR INNER EXPERIENCE.
There is NOTHING APART from your INNER EXPERIENCE.
The CONSENSUS REALITY is also part of your INNER REALITY (or inner experience).
The consensus reality can be said to be the common denominator of inner realities shared by a group of observers – but consensus reality can only exist when the observer paradigms/lenses are kept the same.
The consensus reality appears unchanging because it is a solidified lens installed in all observers (by education).
So all observers put on that consensus reality lens, and therefore mutually validate each other and reinforce the truth of the consensus reality.
That makes the consensus reality appear persistent and true, but in truth it is only one of the lenses of looking at reality.
So the only place to really find truth is in your inner experience of which consensus reality is a subset.

Entities in consciousness field

IMG_20150530_234137-01

The non-dual awareness light shines light through the spectrum of high to low vibration.

Light -> High (belief)———(mental)————(etheric)——— Low vibration (physical)

Now there are various entities inhabiting various parts of this spectrum. These entities are like algorithms or programs that modify the light of consciousness in specific ways.

They take input (divine light of ‘What is’) –> modify it –> give an output. These entities are like automaton programs that create more or less predictable output.

The divine light of ‘What is’ at the source shines with the highest vibration with 0 repetition and infinite freshness and change. Whereas these automaton entities reduce the divine light touching them to very predictable forms. These automaton entities can have different levels of subtlety and complexity.

The entire ‘self’ or ‘ego’ itself is an automaton program but a very subtle and highly complex one (it contains the artificial intelligence program or algorithms (algos) of algos of algos of algos.) At each subsequent level, the reductionism is greater, for example at the level of the etheric, say conditions – A,B,C,D,AA,DD,C,FF and 30 more say cause the emotion ANGER. So all the complex input ultimately passes through this entity and it creates one emotion flavor called ‘Anger’.

So in a way, all entities from gross to subtle, the subtlest being the ego/self, are reductions of the divine light’s subtlety and complexity.

Like we could draw a map of grand canyon and then assume that map to BE ‘Grand canyon’. We could create a mental concept of an experience and assume that concept to BE THE EXPERIENCE itself which it is not by a long shot.This is just to give a rough example of what reductionism is. That is why the mind cannot hold a concept of God/Ultimate/Infinite because it is TOO COMPLEX for the mind. The mind can only hold on to a concept of the divine, metaphors, analogies – but all of those are lower frequency and reduce the REAL complexity of the truth/divine. The expression in the form of metaphors nevertheless pours out of people who can feel/sense/intuit the divine, to make it understandable to others without that experience. However the metaphors cannot communicate the EXPERIENCE that causes one to MAKE SUCH METAPHORS.

The DIRECT EXPERIENCE once had however, reveals the truth behind all the metaphors that were used to describe.

All control is an illusion, I am just the ‘WITNESS’

What you feel, experience internally –> Your corresponding outer appearance from that –> The reactions you elicit from others based how you appear to them –> i.e. their reactions based on their interpretation of your appearance (behavior, actions) –> Which is in-turn based on their own feeling and internal experience of you and the world —————–>> NONE OF THIS IS IN YOUR HANDS
Everything is from God or the Ultimate.
You may feel great, and accordingly elicit wonderful projections from people towards you.
You may feel miserable/terrible and accordingly elicit cruel/bad projections from people towards you (since they fear you).
Either way, the ride of experience is not in your hands.
It all comes from God or the Ultimate.
I am just the WITNESS.
All control is an illusion.
Even how much you suffer, in time, is not in your hands.
Everyone is helpless, innocent and simply WITNESSING themselves and the world.
I used to think its possible to tough it out, be alone, take on depression, suffering, with the strength of my mind. But even that is a game because once very intense suffering strikes, I am reduced to pulp, begging for dear life, begging just to breathe and live, yearning/wanting/needing to hold others and desperate for their help/support.

What is happiness?

Happiness is not to be found in any situation, place or circumstance, or with any person.
It is to be found now.
Actions do not cause happiness, they are simply the expression of that vibration.
Happiness is a certain quality of fine light you choose to emit from yourself/OR BE at this MOMENT.
Happiness lies in the quality of your SEEING itself.

All avoidance is repression

All the entities from your repressed consciousness have to be seen, accepted, relaxed(no resistance), loved, and dis-identified/released(set free).
All avoidance is repression.
The ego fundamentally is a structure that represses the ultimate reality.
Repression is unconscious by definition.
When conscious, it is called suppression.
When repression is made conscious, you become aware of your suppression.
Let everything flow no matter what form it may take.
BE content agnostic.
Since I have seen the dark night,
I know such a possibility exists.
But I am no longer afraid of it.
Whatever comes, I will love and release it,
However long it may take or stay (time does not matter).
If such a formation were to ever befall me again,
I will handle it with full expression and love.
I will always be grateful for the something that is there instead of nothing.
No matter what the something is.
I will be grateful for every breath that arises from nothing and goes back into nothing.
All the ‘something expressions’ from the ‘nothingness space’ are the ULTIMATE manifested.