Author: perceptionflow

I am an explorer of consciousness and truth.
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About fear

Normally fear is an unpleasant experience and we avoid it as far as we can.
But we are in a reality, that we do not entirely control, so the reality could very easily take the form which triggers your fears, and you once again need to escape. Sometimes reality provides opportunities to escape, but sometimes it does not or makes escaping increasingly harder.
Life starts to become wretched when that happens.
So, then we could inquire into it:
Can we avoid it? – Maybe, maybe not, you are at the mercy of reality, an unseen unknown force.
Can we face fear? – Yes, we can. It would be very unpleasant. In my experience I have tried to face many of my fears head on (whichever ones I could manage). This approach is useful for the irrational fears. Like fear of flying insects, bees, bats and so on.
But what about the RATIONAL fears?
Like of REAL DESTRUCTIVE forces?
One possibility is to use various religious concepts – like whatever happens, even if very destructive, is ultimately for my good. This is some kind of trust in the ultimate good/perfection of everything. A belief in a higher power beyond your intelligence.
But again, its not possible to maintain/hold on to beliefs in the face of an ever changing unknown reality.
Today you believe ‘everything is for your ultimate good’.
What if tomorrow you believe that ‘everything is out to destroy you and that you need to protect yourself’. Again the fear will be back right?
I have spent years sifting my mind through 100,000s of beliefs, ways/eyes of seeing and none of them are true. I cannot hold on to any way.

So then the next step in addressing fear would be: to fully face it and be fully equanimous in the face of it. Watch it happen to you a several times, and fully see its impermanence once it passes away.

Even after this, I’ve noticed the experience of fear nevertheless still gets triggered. The milestone reached at this stage is – I have lost the fear of looking at fear. So fear of fear has been overcome.
But there is still the experience of fear when triggered.

But now, since you can look at fear, you can try to see where it is coming from.
It comes from identification – i.e. who you think/imagine is you.

What I think I am IS the entity that I am trying to protect.
FEAR is a protective response of this entity, that is trying to protect itself from the possibilities reality is throwing at it.
So addressing FEAR by itself does not address the cause of fear, which is identity/ego/attachment itself.
Now the identity is a verb – an ongoing investment (desires) for certain potentials in reality – and that creates the shadow side i.e. everything that threatens your desires (fears).

Investigate first who you are.
A better and faster way in fact, would be to investigate who you are NOT.
The dis-identification with ego would also dissolute all fears.

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War(Abuse), Identifications, Consciousness

When the phenomenon of war is in consciousness, you witness both the attacker/perpetrator and the defender/victim in consciousness. One may identify with the attacker. The other may identify with the defender. But from the consciousness point of view, both have seen the same phenomenon with different identification poles (different points of view in the same phenomenon). So in a way, war is war, in your consciousness, as an experience, whether as a perpetrator or victim, it only changes the point of view. To transcend war is to transcend both the points of view – of attacker and victim, that is, to leave the entire paradigm of the experience itself and remove identification with either perpetrator or victim.

Its like you win/lose is only possible if your investment is in the game.
Without investment in the game, winning of losing is irrelevant.
So withdraw the investment from the perpetrator/victim duals of the game of war.
Once the investment is withdrawn, perpetrator/victim is irrelevant.
Therefore there is neither guilt nor blame.
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Transformation Process

Dreams of energy will go on forever by the ‘mystery unknowable (beyond/underneath of knowing) creative force’.
All that there is to do is to surrender into the ocean of subtlety/dissolution, which is not a ‘doing’ but more of an ‘undoing’ of grosser structures and subtleizing, to allow identity to move and function in subtler levels. Ego is at a very subtle level under thoughts themselves. So once the energy gets subtler than the ego, and identity shifts to that, then the energy/identity has the capacity to witness the ego itself and thereby transcends it.
It is like screen resolution.
If the resolution of your consciousness screen is 640×480. Then you cannot see minute objects that you can see when your resolution reaches 1280×720 OR 1920×1080 OR 4k resolution. As the resolution increases, smaller and smaller (subtler and subtler) objects can be perceived. Ego is an object that would be visible say only in a 4k screen. So once you go beyond 4k to 5k or 6k, you have transcended the ego, because you would witness the ego itself. Whereas a person with a resolution of 1280×720 cannot see the ego because it is too subtle to be seen. His resolution does not capture it.
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Nature of structures and projection mapping

The world seems to have various emotion/projection mapping matrixes.
Like various activities – mapped to various emotions.
Everything going in circles everywhere. That is the wheel of samsara I would surmise.
Projection mappings to various structures.
The free market and products are essentially selling “Inviting structures” for people to invest their projections in.
The steps are simple:
Create a structure –> Try to consolidate/ground your structure into the already existing frameworks (existing through history) –> Use persuasion/enticing/influencing/subliminal/marketing techniques to create the attraction –> Get people to invest their projections –> Once a sufficient number of people have invested their projections, a GRAVITY is created drawing more and more.
The idea is to build on the mega-investment of the world as it is. Like everything starts off as a seed (like say capitalism) and then as more and more people get invested, more and more creation happens, later all creations are simply standing on the shoulders of the giant already created.
What kind of a stupid game is this? which EVERYONE IS PLAYING?
What if interest in the entire Goliath structure (existing through history) and the people investing further on its shoulders – what if this entire interest is lost?
Basically I have LOST INTEREST in ALL GAMES. Everything is just a structure on which I invest my projections on. Earlier the mappings were UNCONSCIOUS and I took them as TRUTH. But now I see the truth is NOTHING OF THAT, and all those MAPPINGS are simply unconscious mappings. They are PRISONS when seen with the light of consciousness.
When fully consciousness, the sheer magnitude/amount of imprisonment and helplessness is seen through, the sheer magnitude of the task ahead for consciousness to harmonize. With such a massive magnitude, it creates a HUGE HUGE desire to be FREE.
The cloud of unknowing – a divine process is initiated. Until this cloud processes your reality, you will be living in deprivation (Dark night – which is basically loss of projection potentials – a death of potentials/projections). The super structure of the mind (the concept of the entire physical world in included in that) is the matrix, on which our various projections are caught up/stuck.
We have to reclaim them back and only invest anything as a conscious choice.
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Dark night is the receding of libido to the unconscious

Let’s say, God/Self/Soul/Spirit is in the deepest depth of the unconscious (also said by Carl Jung).
Now, the libido/interest of the self usually resides both in the conscious and unconscious.
What happens in the dark night depression is basically a soul retrieval where, the libido is brought back to God which is in the deepest depths of the unconscious.
As the libido withdraws itself from the consciousness screen, your interests start to decline.
When almost the entire libido has withdrawn from consciousness, there is 0 interest in the ‘Entire consciousness screen’.
So in such a case, you are not interested in ANYTHING and also lose all will to live, because the entirety of the libido has moved to the unconscious.
All you have now in your consciousness is various manifestations/things of god, but 0 interest and possibly even a distaste.
There is incredible despair and all you want is to die/completely change/completely transform. But you dont see any way of that happening. So you just surrender to the mystery because with the loss of all hope, there is nothing to do but surrender. This drives the libido into intense contemplation and there is a cloud of unknowing across your entire consciousness screen because of withdrawal of interest which creates the dark night.
Eventually, the libido reaches the self(depth of unconscious), the experience of everything fundamentally changes, illumination happens and you are transformed.
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Libido = Interest = Heart = Inspiration = Love

Libido = Interest = Heart = Inspiration = Love
All 5 seem to be the same.
They are all in the realm of feelings.
Knowledge and skills are an accumulation that happens through the above 5.
The 5 are absurd and mysterious, an unfolding.
The reasons we give for their existence is also because of interest/libido/heart/inspiration/love, i.e. interest in giving a reason.
In other words, there is no REAL reason for ‘Why you like what you like’.
But there are ‘Apparent reasons’ (i.e. reasons based on how far you can deduce and based on your logic models).
The ‘First Cause/Reason’ is a mystery.
The dark night case: RETURN TO THE ABSTRACT – The Journey
The libido/interest/heart/inspiration/love going back into God/Source withdrawing from all creation/(things of God) and progressively stepping into the unknown abstract is part and parcel of the dark night. It is the RETURN TO THE ABSTRACT (the most abstract/subtle being God). The interest in concrete stuff is left behind and the interest moves into subtler and subtler (more and more abstract) realms until it returns to the infinite abstract i.e. God. This requires a withdrawal from all CREATION/THINGS OF GOD and RETURN TO THE GROUND OF BEING.
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All experience is from the Mystery

All experience is from ‘God/Mystery/Ultimate’.
The only thing to do is ‘Experience Fully’.
Stay in full ‘clarity’.
Take full power of consciousness.
Let the ‘Now’ moment be the reality all the time.
Be aware of all ‘Doing’.
Even my ‘self’ is an unconscious ‘doing’ I do.
All attachment must be released to let everything flow.
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Thoughts about ‘potentials of experience’

Birth is basically birth of a potential.
The feeling of potential OR possibilities is what is felt in childhood.
The experience of death is the experience of loss of potential.
There is the experience of great potential – which is divine inspiration.
There is the experience of little potential – seen as depression (loss of what is loved, which is inspiration)
The attachment is attachment to potentials of experience.
Are we afraid of pain, or are we basically afraid of loss?
Is pain concomitant with loss?
Loss of what we love?
Loss of what we are attached to?
Not necessarily specific objects but it could also be the loss of abstract objects like – loss of ability to verbalize, loss of ability to communicate, loss of ability to understand/make sense of anything, loss of the potential to feel/to think, loss of familiarity – replacement of what is loved with the dual – insecurity, chaos, ambiguity, unknowing, evil, suffering, separation (if what is loved is – security, coherence, clarity, knowing, good, peace, union).
Loss of capacities of psyche – for example you may hear music but not in the matching energetic frequency to sync with it, harmonize with it, union with it.
Death is basically fading away of potentials.
When most potentials fall away, you are left with your root potentials.
The deepest potential loss if ego death, where the potential to ‘selfing’ is lost.
Energy gives rise to potentials. 
Energy = Potentials. Loss of energy = loss of potentials. Energy is similar to money.
When you have a lot of money – a lot of potentials open up. You may or may not use them. But if you have no money, you don’t have those potentials either.
So dark night is basically loss of potentials and the grieving of loss of potentials.
The depression is from the loss of potentials. The struggle is 2 faced: on the one hand, shortage of energy makes living daily life expectations a stretch and difficult – its as if your fatigued and exhausted all the time. The 2nd struggle is the depression itself because of grieving the loss of potentials which were once there.
Rest in the potentials of ‘What is’ as it appears NOW.
Because I see potentials, I never feel like I’ve done a good enough job at anything.
Because I know what it is to really know something. But thats the interesting part, there is nowhere to go. So it does not matter. I can simply observe how far I can see and how far I’ve reached without investment and simply allow happening.
All potentials have to be dealt with equanimity:
Some potentials are karmic repetitive cyclic, habitual and occur with triggers.
So I just patiently observe what happens, the mechanism, what the trigger is and so on.
All my memories are potentials for experiences.
Even recalling them is potentials for experiences.
So the push/pull, grasping/pushing, craving/aversion, attachment/repulsion apply to all potentials too.
All experience is empty – positive and negative.
Experience itself is empty in all its infinite forms. Its a lila/play/dance of empty experiences. There is 100% change. Memory is the only tool we use to hold on. Actually, memory also when seen is simply another empty changing experience. This is the truth of emptiness.
That is why there is nowhere to go, nothing to do, nothing to be, because the potential driving the need to go, do, be itself is also an empty appearance. This potential is not you. You are simply nothing, or the ground of all appearances/experiences. All experiences are appearances. There is only an eternal free fall into emptiness dancing as forms.
 
As the fire of illumination fills you up, the truth of NOW becomes obvious. The ISness, the YOU ARE THAT. I am the ground of all experience. The ONE TASTE, the unitive flavor of all opposites, everything is ultimately experience, and all experience is empty when seen closely (because it changes).
What we are scared of/fear is also potentials:
Heaven is the potential for gain, joy, pleasure and happiness.
Hell is the potential for loss, suffering, misery, struggle.
Like what is horror, to be stuck in a reality that threatens everything you love, everything you are, everything you are attached to.
A union is made, when 2 potentials match each other.
Which is sharing the same goals.
The highest potential is God Awareness.
So 2 people in the goal to reach God awareness can have the potential for highest union.
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The journey to the Effortless, Causeless Reality

Your egoic actions change the causeless, effortless reality(God’s karma) into a caused, effort created reality (causation bound, personal karma) which follows cause-effect rules.
But the causeless reality always lies underneath, when all effort is dropped.
Effort created reality in fact rides on the eternal wave of the causeless reality.
Why do we not drop all effort?
Because we are attached or identified with effort created realities.
So as the penetration of the fire of consciousness happens, the effortless reality is accepted more and more and the effortful or effort created reality is relinquished.
Eventually, one’s abides in the causeless, effortless reality and acts from God’s will and relinquishes all personal will to God (which is the truth anyway, even personal will is given to us by God only, but we think we exist as something separate with autonomy, the realization here would be of the fact that ‘There is no doer apart from God’).
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About me: I am an EXPERIENCE EAGLE

Flying-Eagle

I am an EXPERIENCE EAGLE.
Its a symbolism, metaphor – to the physical eagle.
The experience eagle wanting freedom to fly to any territory it feels like (across time and space).

Each person and obligations is like me(i.e. the eagle) tied to a certain location in time and space. He cannot fly far away from that place since it has to come back to fulfill the obligations. Certain potentials of experience are not available because they are too far from where he is and he cannot leave his attachments and get there. Like there is an attachment to the ‘potential’ plane of manifestation of existing as a body itself.
This explains his longing for FREEDOM of EXPERIENCE.

So this eagle explores various territories of experiences and does great things in each area that he touches due to his sharp vision. But he cannot hold on to everything. He knows internally he is infinitely capable and potent. But each time, people only judge him based on the narrow criteria that exists – on the exact patch of land he has landed on. The eagle wishes someone would really see who he is and his stature. But nobody on land can see that. For that the eagle would have to fly with another eagle to varied territories and reveal his vision and skills in each area. The irony is that, this eagle is an orphan. His parents are not eagles but rather pure land animals like deers. So the eagle’s parents absolutely don’t understand him. The most humiliating part is, they see him as a deer and not as an eagle at all. That too, an insufficient deer. So the eagle also lives a double life as a deer as a mask to all land animals through his parents training.

But once out of bondage, he secretly flies to all the territories and regions. The eagle longs to be free of this false deer (land animal) self. But however he needs to come to land to fulfill his needs. So the eagle keeps a very touch and go relationship with the land animals and even his own parents. ‘Do what is needed, get needs fulfilled and LEAVE’ is his motto. But in that process, he gets trapped into various kinds of bondages. In case he reduces his relationships drastically with land animals, then, he is left alone in the sky and has to come to the land to fend for himself which is a severe struggle and stress for the eagle.

So much so, he becomes so weak with stress, he cannot even fly. He spends his limited energy mostly on the land, trying to get his needs met, just so that he can fly for a little time in the evening. He wishes he never needed the land at all and simply live in the air and get nourished from light. But he has to accept his needs, both the land needs and the air needs and try to find a way to get both met in a great way.

He wishes there was another eagle to help him out and show him how to live great. Since he is an orphan and since NOBODY else in the whole world is an eagle, he is abjectly alone. His only inspiration is from God itself. The appearance is such that, it is just Him and God. Nobody else ever sees him or understands him the way he really is. Its almost like, he is the ‘son of god’ alone (like Jesus was) with a huge bunch of earthling land creatures and small birds. All his nourishment and all his suffering comes directly from God and there is nobody to buffer his hardships in life. Few comforting relationships happen, but they are let go, because of severe land bondage. How can he live on land, when his true place is in the air? The land animals would never understand because they do not even know what being in the air is like. So they think it is unnecessary and try to get the eagle to fit into their systems which permanently tethers the eagle to fulfilling all kinds of duties on land.