Even in this analysis what am I trying to do?
I am trying to overcome the ego condition I find myself in by understanding it, and can you see in this very problem statement is a fractal of – “continually trying to understand for which I need to also continually keep the problem in mind or seek/invent problems”. It is a sort of loop.
Exactly like how a fractal program runs eternally.
An ego is a closed fractal loop that operates IN TIME but is outside of time. The ego is ESSENTIALLY an ignorance.
All ignorance is outside of time, but plays out in time. (Like playing a cassette. The information in the cassette is already present beyond its linear playing out in time.)
It maintains itself fractally by reinforcing and seeking out the very problem it was created to solve.
For instance, imagine you create a game, where a character seeks and destroys all rocks. The ego is not the character as one might assume. Rather, the ego is the THE GAME itself. Which means, the character in the game will endlessly seek rocks, find rocks, destroy the rocks, but the game will also endless keeping generating/spawning new rocks so that the game keeps going.
Usually we think there is an end to all games.
But that is a limitation in our thinking. Why must there be an end? What will make the game end if you are the creator of the game itself?
This will go on FOREVER because the variable that will release this time loop of the ego is not to be found INSIDE THE GAME.
Now apply this analogy to all spiritual seeking.
NOTHING in the game contains anything that will free you from it.
Like say you are playing Mario. Is there anything in any level of Mario that will QUIT the game or change the game? Nope, the game is designed to go on and on.
Who quits the game?
Only that which is beyond the ego can release the ego.
It is fundamentally impossible for the ego to release itself by its own efforts.
It is as futile as a character in a computer 3d game, trying to quit the game from within the game.
This is an impossible riddle.
Transcendence is not in time, but rather it releases you FROM time.
Nothing temporal, or nothing in time, is the cause of your release.
Even talking to people, hearing masters etc. will not be the cause of your transcendence. I have had direct experience of this in many of my lucid dreams. I would suddenly realize I am lucid within the dream, and then spend the rest of the dream trying to convince others that they are in my lucid dream, and the others of-course would strongly disagree, and I would spend the rest of the dream trying to convince them. Then when I do wake up, it is not because of conversation with any character in the dream. I wake up when I am ready to wake up and no factor within the dream including the characters inside it are the cause of me waking up. The cause is always from the beyond, and it may so happen, that one of the characters would say something to you and that would just poof wake you up. That character only appears to be the cause, but in truth, your waking up happened from a level totally beyond the whole dream.