We internalize, maintain, and forward the structures of all the others who loved us in whatever way, at whatever level, to continue to attract similar such people who will like and support us in future, and so on.
This is like a memory driven cyclic process, that strives to maintain its core identity, and expand and enhance it.
The relational-ego usually starts with the parents, and then extends itself from there.
The love for the offspring from the parents side and for the parents from the child’s side is biologically supported.
The wheel-hub is created from those primary relations, i.e. the core self-concept, and then it extends its spokes from there as more interaction and exposure to the world happens.
It is a sort of primary imitation and emulation.
I’d say deep devotion/admiration/respect evokes mirroring/imitation.
This may be happening naturally to an infant born into this world.
A deep and vast subliminal absorption takes place in the formative years.
Keeping the individual’s past (karmic memory) aside,
Even just observing the tangible transmission of genetics from generation to generation in the lineage,
I feel the blueprints (genetic memories) are transmitted through and across each generation.
For instance, all the people that loved and supported your grandparents/parents, those faces will look familiar and appealing to you too in some way,
And you may be repelled towards all those who hurt and rejected them in the past.
Literally, the word familiar, points to something to do with familial.
One perspective of all of this is that, this is all Prakriti/Nature.
And that it is all survival based.
Whatever enabled the survival of your ancestors for 7+ generations prior to you,
The memory of all of it is functioning as a blueprint.
Could this be a huge basis of all of our attractions/repulsions to things/people/places etc.?
It is as if this 7-generational worth memory is firing within your experience signaling all kinds of desires/aversions and so on, in experience.
Another aspect is that:
“Every action is propelled from its dual.”
Potential charge -> Kinetic charge.
It is like a battery discharge.
So in this context,
“One could be discharging the potential charges of the family lineage one was born into.”
For example:
Say, if generations have nurtured a deep desire for wealth and due to lack of opportunity they could only keep dreaming about it intensely,
It may happen that the new offspring born into the lineage may have a much better environment and loads of opportunities for wealth.
This offspring may then feel a massive desire to seek wealth with an unstoppable inner force driving it.
The deeper force could be from the imagination of the sheer enjoyment/pleasure of it and/or for the atonement of family/lineage shame (low status) about being poor/unworthy/undeserving etc.
It depends on the undercurrents that are running through the lineage finding expression through the offspring.
If the parent is already successful, then the child simply derives meaning and purpose from that. It would emulate that and try to get those same rewards.
If the parent himself/herself is seeking, then the child also furthers that search as the purpose.
So a settled parent begets a settled child.
A seeking parent begets a seeking child.
This may not be all in the open and articulated.
In fact very little of it may be openly spoken about and conscious to the parent.
The seeds even reveal their potencies only after they sprout up a bit after some opportunity to develop is present.
Else they are too feeble and will not be detectable except by the most sensitive person.
This genetic lineage can be at different stages of maturity and evolution.
The role you play here is an emergent one.
It builds over time as you deepen your relationship with it.
I’ll now try to fit in karmic memory (one’s individual past) into this equation.
This is how I understand it:
For a soul with karmic memory identity, it joins into the genetic memory lineage something similar to how someone with some IT work experience joins a new IT company.
The role/position/environment of this new IT company, I see as genetic memory and its conditions/forces/pressures.
The person’s prior experience (“transferable skills abstracted” as opposed to the concrete discrete knowledge he carried when in each of the roles in his prior companies) before he joined the job = karmic memory.
So just like one did not create anything in the new company one has now joined, the genetic lineage is something that you did not create.
You simply join into it at some role/responsibility and then figure it out from there and get familiar with it as time goes on.
So entering into a genetic lineage is something you become conscious of over time with exploration.
An analogy for this could be of: A mahout and an elephant.
The mahout is the soul (karmic body) and the elephant is the genetic body inherited.
So there are different dimensions of intelligence that work independently and interdependently.
For instance, the elephant can take care of itself without the mahout too.
It knows when it wants to eat, sleep, drink water etc.
It has a life, instinct, and intelligence of its own.
Even an experienced mahout, would have to learn about the new elephant he has been given, and then develop a good relationship with it, before he can direct it to his will.
In the order of identities therefore there are 3 dimensions:
The numinous -> The abstract -> The concrete/literal
Pure spirit/pure consciousness/pure intelligence -> Soul (karmic memory identity) -> Ego (genetics + person’s relational memories from interaction with the world – from the various time-space-people paths it has passed through).
So it is technically possible to transcend and go beyond the soul karmic identity too and move into pure intelligence/spirit.
In terms of dimensions in this realm, in my understanding:
6th dimension = The space of all genetics
5th dimension = The space of your lineage genetics
4th dimension = The astrological ‘time-path-trace’ for your lifetime
3rd dimension = The current space-time location you are in.
The devouring mother and the death drive
The mother wanting the son for herself,
As an extension of itself instead of a separate being.
This is the classic devouring mother.
She punishes/guilts the independence/autonomy of the son.
Leading to the son internalizing that “Autonomy is bad and ought to be punished”.
So then that sets up the death drive,
Where there is masochism/self-punishing,
To end the self and get back to the state of fusion.
The son may adopt the adage: “If you cant beat em you join em”.
Since his mother is actively or passively against him becoming a separate individual,
He starts actively trying to merge back into fusion with the mother to the prior egoless state,
Rather than having a separate self,
Which is constantly attacked and opposed by the mother.
In reality the son’s self-attack against having an autonomous individual self,
Is preemptively done, because the mother would oppose it anyway.
So here, the son starts to do that attack to himself in a controlled way,
Which is an internalization of the mother’s attitude towards his self/independence.
The over-attached/possessive/protective mother is clinging on to her son,
Expecting him to be a nobody and act as its slave.
This may be totally unsaid and well hidden,
But the mother’s behavior will show it.
So the son is guilted and threatened about this time and again,
That he ought to be the slave of his mother, but is acting independent.
His independence is actively attacked and discouraged and even threatened by the mother.
She threatens him that “he is not strong enough and will die if she withdraws her support, and that he better be her slave instead”.
That is why later the son is attracted to dominators/abusers/manipulators/narcissists etc.
All of whom who use him,
Which is basically the repressed anger of his mother against him,
Which he has internalized,
And projected onto the dominators/abusers/manipulators/narcissists.
The dominator/abuser/manipulator/narcissist is openly punishing,
Which represents the same unconscious relationship the mother has towards the son’s becoming a separate self.
The son via. the projection of the vengeant-sadist aspects to the dominators,
Gets to keep his mother image pure as being the caring positive mother.
The mother also may keep gaslighting the son and reinforcing that whatever he sees in her is all good only.
This anger of his mother is essentially against him becoming an independent self,
I.e. him betraying her, and leaving the state of fusion, and the state of being an unconditional helpless slave,
Is then internalized, repressed (made unconscious), and then projected as a punishing world that wants to destroy him.
Because it is much more scary for the son to see his only care-taking figure as the devil.
So he would rather make the whole world the devil and keep the mother pure.
This sets up the death drive, where the son is constantly trying to escape himself or destroy himself,
Constantly trying to escape the terror of being himself.
Because he is expecting the brutal attack of his mother for being autonomous.
So the only action of his self is to destruct itself, masochism essentially.
Be it through attracting abusive partners or by self-inflicted harm/abuse,
OR by consuming intoxicants constantly to drown out the awareness of the self as much as possible.
His mother only wanted a slave, an extension of herself, and did not want “him”, and would have killed him as a baby if he were to express himself in his true individuality.
So this is the primary trauma, of the fear of the wrath and punishment of the mother who would have killed him because she never wanted “him” per se.
So then the son/child escapes this by developing an ego that is on the mother’s side.
His own ego is against his self, just like his mother was against his self.
So the ego formed for the son is inherently self-destructive and antagonistic to itself,
And only attracts destructive forces to itself.
That was the very way it was formed,
Because of identification with a mother who never wanted him in reality.
Neglect compounds this, because neglect simply implies the mother is not interested in the independent self of the son at all.
Neglect then is an expression of unconscious hostility on the part of the mother.
It also clearly conveys the intention of the mother to not have her son individuate at all and remain in fusion with her.
The message of the devouring mother is “I will take care of you, but never leave me, if you leave me, you have betrayed me, and will face my wrath”.
So then the mother has instilled the need, fear, and guilt of:
“The outside world will kill you, you will not survive without me, you need me.”
“Also never become anything other than what I want you to be, else I will be very angry at you, and punish/abandon you for that.”
So then the son may internalize this mother’s message and project this out to his world view itself.
He will see the world itself as being a bad hostile evil place that is best abandoned.
He thinks: “It is better to not invest in the bad world at all (this also means the very act of having a self is seen as bad, because it is investing in the world that creates a self in the first place).”
So the son actively keeps attacking his own self, independence, autonomy, and sabotaging himself,
Where all his decisions serve the death drive (his own wish to end the self and return to fusion) and he therefor attracts only destructive forces to himself,
Including addictions to abusive people/narcissists/sadists/self-harming/painful information/bad news OR to intoxicants that will eventually kill him.
The intoxicants may also help him escape by numbing the awareness of sense of autonomous self itself – by fusing him into the intoxication-state as long as it lasts, which makes him repeat that again and again.
This may also lead him into the spiritual paths of self-abandonment and surrender.
Where he justifies all his self-destructive actions as the ending of his own ego and reaching god.
The son cannot pursue his own self interests, because that would mean betraying the mother and incurring her wrath and punishment.
The son also cannot become a pure slave to the mother, because that slavery feels unbearable.
So this constant suffering with no remedy makes him look for every single escape/relief/or source of pleasure he possibly can, to make living bearable – this may include an attraction and/or addiction to porn, intoxicants, and various forms of dissociation etc.
This is the inner turmoil, double bind, the archetypal struggle,
Of becoming an individual and separating from the mother.
If the father figure is absent or self-absorbed in dealing with his own suffering,
And if the mother figure is also wounded and dependent herself,
Then the only identification left is with the mother, because the father has not invested in you.
The only option then is to identify with the mother who does not want you,
And this is the classic death drive setup.
Because you would then treat yourself the same way your mother treated you,
Which is to invalidate/neglect/abuse/gaslight/deceive/sidetrack etc.
So then you are trapped in a place where you don’t belong,
For too long a time with no escape.
And there is no help from the father, he is unavailable for you,
And neither is the mother helping you in any way because she herself is dependent and in her own grief.
And add to that the mother also has the unconscious agenda to have you not separate from her,
Which is why she may never nurture your independence and keep treating you like a helpless baby,
Because in truth she wants you to remain helpless so that she has something to do (so that she can fulfill her own narcissistic needs for purpose, esteem, usefulness through serving you).
The mother will then go around telling others “Oh my son needs me, he cannot manage without me”.
That is a truth that she herself has engineered,
Where she wants to maintain you as such.
As an extension of itself instead of a separate being.
This is the classic devouring mother.
She punishes/guilts the independence/autonomy of the son.
Leading to the son internalizing that “Autonomy is bad and ought to be punished”.
So then that sets up the death drive,
Where there is masochism/self-punishing,
To end the self and get back to the state of fusion.
The son may adopt the adage: “If you cant beat em you join em”.
Since his mother is actively or passively against him becoming a separate individual,
He starts actively trying to merge back into fusion with the mother to the prior egoless state,
Rather than having a separate self,
Which is constantly attacked and opposed by the mother.
In reality the son’s self-attack against having an autonomous individual self,
Is preemptively done, because the mother would oppose it anyway.
So here, the son starts to do that attack to himself in a controlled way,
Which is an internalization of the mother’s attitude towards his self/independence.
The over-attached/possessive/protective mother is clinging on to her son,
Expecting him to be a nobody and act as its slave.
This may be totally unsaid and well hidden,
But the mother’s behavior will show it.
So the son is guilted and threatened about this time and again,
That he ought to be the slave of his mother, but is acting independent.
His independence is actively attacked and discouraged and even threatened by the mother.
She threatens him that “he is not strong enough and will die if she withdraws her support, and that he better be her slave instead”.
That is why later the son is attracted to dominators/abusers/manipulators/narcissists etc.
All of whom who use him,
Which is basically the repressed anger of his mother against him,
Which he has internalized,
And projected onto the dominators/abusers/manipulators/narcissists.
The dominator/abuser/manipulator/narcissist is openly punishing,
Which represents the same unconscious relationship the mother has towards the son’s becoming a separate self.
The son via. the projection of the vengeant-sadist aspects to the dominators,
Gets to keep his mother image pure as being the caring positive mother.
The mother also may keep gaslighting the son and reinforcing that whatever he sees in her is all good only.
This anger of his mother is essentially against him becoming an independent self,
I.e. him betraying her, and leaving the state of fusion, and the state of being an unconditional helpless slave,
Is then internalized, repressed (made unconscious), and then projected as a punishing world that wants to destroy him.
Because it is much more scary for the son to see his only care-taking figure as the devil.
So he would rather make the whole world the devil and keep the mother pure.
This sets up the death drive, where the son is constantly trying to escape himself or destroy himself,
Constantly trying to escape the terror of being himself.
Because he is expecting the brutal attack of his mother for being autonomous.
So the only action of his self is to destruct itself, masochism essentially.
Be it through attracting abusive partners or by self-inflicted harm/abuse,
OR by consuming intoxicants constantly to drown out the awareness of the self as much as possible.
His mother only wanted a slave, an extension of herself, and did not want “him”, and would have killed him as a baby if he were to express himself in his true individuality.
So this is the primary trauma, of the fear of the wrath and punishment of the mother who would have killed him because she never wanted “him” per se.
So then the son/child escapes this by developing an ego that is on the mother’s side.
His own ego is against his self, just like his mother was against his self.
So the ego formed for the son is inherently self-destructive and antagonistic to itself,
And only attracts destructive forces to itself.
That was the very way it was formed,
Because of identification with a mother who never wanted him in reality.
Neglect compounds this, because neglect simply implies the mother is not interested in the independent self of the son at all.
Neglect then is an expression of unconscious hostility on the part of the mother.
It also clearly conveys the intention of the mother to not have her son individuate at all and remain in fusion with her.
The message of the devouring mother is “I will take care of you, but never leave me, if you leave me, you have betrayed me, and will face my wrath”.
So then the mother has instilled the need, fear, and guilt of:
“The outside world will kill you, you will not survive without me, you need me.”
“Also never become anything other than what I want you to be, else I will be very angry at you, and punish/abandon you for that.”
So then the son may internalize this mother’s message and project this out to his world view itself.
He will see the world itself as being a bad hostile evil place that is best abandoned.
He thinks: “It is better to not invest in the bad world at all (this also means the very act of having a self is seen as bad, because it is investing in the world that creates a self in the first place).”
So the son actively keeps attacking his own self, independence, autonomy, and sabotaging himself,
Where all his decisions serve the death drive (his own wish to end the self and return to fusion) and he therefor attracts only destructive forces to himself,
Including addictions to abusive people/narcissists/sadists/self-harming/painful information/bad news OR to intoxicants that will eventually kill him.
The intoxicants may also help him escape by numbing the awareness of sense of autonomous self itself – by fusing him into the intoxication-state as long as it lasts, which makes him repeat that again and again.
This may also lead him into the spiritual paths of self-abandonment and surrender.
Where he justifies all his self-destructive actions as the ending of his own ego and reaching god.
The son cannot pursue his own self interests, because that would mean betraying the mother and incurring her wrath and punishment.
The son also cannot become a pure slave to the mother, because that slavery feels unbearable.
So this constant suffering with no remedy makes him look for every single escape/relief/or source of pleasure he possibly can, to make living bearable – this may include an attraction and/or addiction to porn, intoxicants, and various forms of dissociation etc.
This is the inner turmoil, double bind, the archetypal struggle,
Of becoming an individual and separating from the mother.
If the father figure is absent or self-absorbed in dealing with his own suffering,
And if the mother figure is also wounded and dependent herself,
Then the only identification left is with the mother, because the father has not invested in you.
The only option then is to identify with the mother who does not want you,
And this is the classic death drive setup.
Because you would then treat yourself the same way your mother treated you,
Which is to invalidate/neglect/abuse/gaslight/deceive/sidetrack etc.
So then you are trapped in a place where you don’t belong,
For too long a time with no escape.
And there is no help from the father, he is unavailable for you,
And neither is the mother helping you in any way because she herself is dependent and in her own grief.
And add to that the mother also has the unconscious agenda to have you not separate from her,
Which is why she may never nurture your independence and keep treating you like a helpless baby,
Because in truth she wants you to remain helpless so that she has something to do (so that she can fulfill her own narcissistic needs for purpose, esteem, usefulness through serving you).
The mother will then go around telling others “Oh my son needs me, he cannot manage without me”.
That is a truth that she herself has engineered,
Where she wants to maintain you as such.
Mass production and accelerating ecological damage
Ecology is a cycle.
Natural resources are generated by this cycle.
We tap into these resources,
And then subject them to our own transformation processes in factories,
To finally produce the products and distribute them.
But nothing is done after that point.
Consumers use the product and throw it into the landfills.
Ideally, for every construction factory,
There should be an equivalent deconstruction factory or recycling plant.
We need to deconstruct the products made,
Back to a form that nature can process.
This would complete the cycle of human karma.
And we would be in full harmony with nature/earth.
The reasons why this is not done are quite deep.
If I have to sum it up in one sentence,
It is because of our collective “denial of death”.
Our awareness does not include death.
It is as if we believe we are going to go on and on,
and just fall off the edge of a cliff.
But in larger awareness, we are part of a cycle.
And this cycle includes:
Formation —and—- Dissolution.
We generally build things in our image.
Like how it is said “god created man in his image”.
For instance, let’s take the example of a building.
Nervous system = Electrical wiring network
Communication system = Phone/Internet network
Blood Circulation = Water Pipe System/Plumbing
Fire system = Natural gas pipes
So if we have a blind spot in our understanding of ourselves,
That blind spot carries over to our creations as well.
And here the blind spot is the “denial of death”.
As egos we believe we are the creators separate from nature.
That we are aliens stuck in this strange place
And that we must exploit it as much as possible.
But in reality, nature is our very ground.
We grow out of it and return to it,
We are dependent on it for our resources and sustenance,
And we must ideally live in harmony to its cycles.
This is referred to as “ecological awareness”.
Our ignoring of the way things work in nature/ecology,
Has a corresponding component we ignore in ourselves.
That component is, we believe we are immortal and separate (as egos).
This is my opinion on why all of our production processes
Only handle half the cycle from “procurement to production to distribution”.
After that we just dump things in landfills.
This blind spot is especially magnified in mass production.
The error/oversight was always there in essence,
But mass production has increased the sheer scale of this error.
I feel the root problem is that of awareness.
And in my opinion, the best way to impart that is through education.
Natural resources are generated by this cycle.
We tap into these resources,
And then subject them to our own transformation processes in factories,
To finally produce the products and distribute them.
But nothing is done after that point.
Consumers use the product and throw it into the landfills.
Ideally, for every construction factory,
There should be an equivalent deconstruction factory or recycling plant.
We need to deconstruct the products made,
Back to a form that nature can process.
This would complete the cycle of human karma.
And we would be in full harmony with nature/earth.
The reasons why this is not done are quite deep.
If I have to sum it up in one sentence,
It is because of our collective “denial of death”.
Our awareness does not include death.
It is as if we believe we are going to go on and on,
and just fall off the edge of a cliff.
But in larger awareness, we are part of a cycle.
And this cycle includes:
Formation —and—- Dissolution.
We generally build things in our image.
Like how it is said “god created man in his image”.
For instance, let’s take the example of a building.
Nervous system = Electrical wiring network
Communication system = Phone/Internet network
Blood Circulation = Water Pipe System/Plumbing
Fire system = Natural gas pipes
So if we have a blind spot in our understanding of ourselves,
That blind spot carries over to our creations as well.
And here the blind spot is the “denial of death”.
As egos we believe we are the creators separate from nature.
That we are aliens stuck in this strange place
And that we must exploit it as much as possible.
But in reality, nature is our very ground.
We grow out of it and return to it,
We are dependent on it for our resources and sustenance,
And we must ideally live in harmony to its cycles.
This is referred to as “ecological awareness”.
Our ignoring of the way things work in nature/ecology,
Has a corresponding component we ignore in ourselves.
That component is, we believe we are immortal and separate (as egos).
This is my opinion on why all of our production processes
Only handle half the cycle from “procurement to production to distribution”.
After that we just dump things in landfills.
This blind spot is especially magnified in mass production.
The error/oversight was always there in essence,
But mass production has increased the sheer scale of this error.
I feel the root problem is that of awareness.
And in my opinion, the best way to impart that is through education.
The soul themes
At an abstract level, we are tuned into themes themselves.
The theme is like a spectrum, a 2 poled rod.
For instance, the theme could be:
[…Poor —— Rich…]
Once tuned into that, your focus will be on that aspect of existence.
Both the poor and the rich are actually tuned into the same game of sorts.
Now, there is no absolute poor or rich.
It is all based in relativity.
So really it is only a long infinite line,
Spanning from poor on the left to rich on the right, with you in the center.
If you look to the left you are richer,
If you look to the right you are poorer.
So depending on how you draw your frame of reference,
You can position yourself as rich or poor,
As your relative position inside the frame you hold.
Only if you believe you are poor will you seek riches.
So you have to tune into that theme first and then position yourself in a frame to begin playing.
You will play the game until you achieve your ideal and neutralize.
Then you may move on to other themes.
Now just like the poor-rich theme,
There could be many many such themes.
Here is a list of some of them:
Knowledge —– Ignorance
Power —– Powerlessness
Pleasure —– Pain
Master ——- Student
Guru ——— Disciple
Wonder —— Mundane
Freedom —– Entrapment
High energy —- Low energy
Togetherness —– Aloneness
Relationships —- Loneliness
Ecstasy —— Depression
Health —— Disease
Positive body image —– Negative body image
Security —– Insecurity
Meaning —— Meaninglessness
High self esteem —– Low self esteem
High status —— Low status
Atonement —— Guilt
Ease —— Stress
Safety —— Fear
Order —— Chaos
Good ——- Evil
Right —— Wrong
Perfection —— Imperfection
Independence —– Enmeshment
Attractiveness —- Unattractiveness
Authenticity —– Fakeness
Joy —– Misery
Interests —– Boredom
Escapes —- Traps
Usefulness —– Uselessness
Transcendence —— Bondage
Flow/Harmony —– Friction/Conflict
People are generally invested in many such themes,
With different priorities depending upon their conditioning imprints.
Their explicit ego ideals and actions reflect their implicit position.
Like you want to get rich because you believe you are poor.
The poorer you believe yourself to be, the more unacceptable you feel it is, the stronger will be your drive to achieve the necessary riches to complete and neutralize.
So what themes are you invested in?
Something to contemplate.
The theme is like a spectrum, a 2 poled rod.
For instance, the theme could be:
[…Poor —— Rich…]
Once tuned into that, your focus will be on that aspect of existence.
Both the poor and the rich are actually tuned into the same game of sorts.
Now, there is no absolute poor or rich.
It is all based in relativity.
So really it is only a long infinite line,
Spanning from poor on the left to rich on the right, with you in the center.
If you look to the left you are richer,
If you look to the right you are poorer.
So depending on how you draw your frame of reference,
You can position yourself as rich or poor,
As your relative position inside the frame you hold.
Only if you believe you are poor will you seek riches.
So you have to tune into that theme first and then position yourself in a frame to begin playing.
You will play the game until you achieve your ideal and neutralize.
Then you may move on to other themes.
Now just like the poor-rich theme,
There could be many many such themes.
Here is a list of some of them:
Knowledge —– Ignorance
Power —– Powerlessness
Pleasure —– Pain
Master ——- Student
Guru ——— Disciple
Wonder —— Mundane
Freedom —– Entrapment
High energy —- Low energy
Togetherness —– Aloneness
Relationships —- Loneliness
Ecstasy —— Depression
Health —— Disease
Positive body image —– Negative body image
Security —– Insecurity
Meaning —— Meaninglessness
High self esteem —– Low self esteem
High status —— Low status
Atonement —— Guilt
Ease —— Stress
Safety —— Fear
Order —— Chaos
Good ——- Evil
Right —— Wrong
Perfection —— Imperfection
Independence —– Enmeshment
Attractiveness —- Unattractiveness
Authenticity —– Fakeness
Joy —– Misery
Interests —– Boredom
Escapes —- Traps
Usefulness —– Uselessness
Transcendence —— Bondage
Flow/Harmony —– Friction/Conflict
People are generally invested in many such themes,
With different priorities depending upon their conditioning imprints.
Their explicit ego ideals and actions reflect their implicit position.
Like you want to get rich because you believe you are poor.
The poorer you believe yourself to be, the more unacceptable you feel it is, the stronger will be your drive to achieve the necessary riches to complete and neutralize.
So what themes are you invested in?
Something to contemplate.
Investment of being vs. doing
Investment of being = identity investment, i.e. ego itself.
The investment of being ‘somebody’.
When you say – I am a student, doctor, engineer, husband, wife, citizen etc.
Investment of doing = all other smaller investments.
The investment of being ‘somebody’.
When you say – I am a student, doctor, engineer, husband, wife, citizen etc.
Investment of doing = all other smaller investments.
The seed and the tree
The seed is the innate potential.
The tree is what the environment allows in the seed.
This seed-tree analogy could be applied to multiple truths/contexts.
For instance:
Your DNA/Biology is like your seed,
While your social ego/self/identity/conditioning would be like the tree.
The seed’s responsibility is to give out all of its potential.
The tree’s responsibility is to stay a match/align to its environment.
The knowledge of death completely rewires you
Death is thought of as an event that happens in the far future.
Nobody even thinks about it, unless there is a real reason to.
Seeing death as an event, is from ignorance (maybe purposeful).
Death is not an event that suddenly happens in the far future.
Death as an experience is continually happening.
“Death is not an event, but death IS, just as life IS”
(borrowed from Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev).
One never steps in the same river twice.
Life experience is constantly transforming.
Knowledge of death or mortality is really knowledge of impermanence.
It is the truth of the statement: “This too shall pass”.
The nature of life is aliveness and change.
Life = spirit = novelty = miracle = change = aliveness = unknown = mystery.
Death is the knowledge of unbecoming that follows becoming.
Like the outbreath follows the inbreath.
So imagine breathing in more and more without letting out anything.
Eventually at one point, the tension will become so great,
You will just drop and let go of everything.
The nature of life is like the Breath.
We enter this planet, take on a body, project all of our emotions here.
We get deeply involved, and then later leave everything behind, and exit.
The cycle of [incarnation – death] like [inbreath – outbreath].
The knowledge of death is what breaks the spell of ordinary egoic life.
It is the great disillusionment.
It casts its shadow on all desires/dreams/plans.
The thought that comes is:
“What is the use of doing anything? OR becoming anything?
If it is all going to end in dust?
Why should I bother to fight for my survival and thrive?
If I am just going to be cheated and mocked in the end by death?”
This may create an existential crisis/dark night of soul/depression.
When the knowledge of death enters your vision.
If one allows this process to fully pass through,
They emerge on the other side transformed.
It is like how you digest food and get energy later,
The knowledge of death digests “you” and liberates you,
And you emerge as a phoenix from the ashes.
For the phoenix, life is lived in the “now/present”
The past is seen as present only, i.e. the past incarnating in the present.
The future is seen as imagination done in the present.
The phoenix lives with identification grounded in “formless life/aliveness” itself.
All else is seen as the play of life, “as form” and “with form”
Nobody even thinks about it, unless there is a real reason to.
Seeing death as an event, is from ignorance (maybe purposeful).
Death is not an event that suddenly happens in the far future.
Death as an experience is continually happening.
“Death is not an event, but death IS, just as life IS”
(borrowed from Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev).
One never steps in the same river twice.
Life experience is constantly transforming.
Knowledge of death or mortality is really knowledge of impermanence.
It is the truth of the statement: “This too shall pass”.
The nature of life is aliveness and change.
Life = spirit = novelty = miracle = change = aliveness = unknown = mystery.
Death is the knowledge of unbecoming that follows becoming.
Like the outbreath follows the inbreath.
So imagine breathing in more and more without letting out anything.
Eventually at one point, the tension will become so great,
You will just drop and let go of everything.
The nature of life is like the Breath.
We enter this planet, take on a body, project all of our emotions here.
We get deeply involved, and then later leave everything behind, and exit.
The cycle of [incarnation – death] like [inbreath – outbreath].
The knowledge of death is what breaks the spell of ordinary egoic life.
It is the great disillusionment.
It casts its shadow on all desires/dreams/plans.
The thought that comes is:
“What is the use of doing anything? OR becoming anything?
If it is all going to end in dust?
Why should I bother to fight for my survival and thrive?
If I am just going to be cheated and mocked in the end by death?”
This may create an existential crisis/dark night of soul/depression.
When the knowledge of death enters your vision.
If one allows this process to fully pass through,
They emerge on the other side transformed.
It is like how you digest food and get energy later,
The knowledge of death digests “you” and liberates you,
And you emerge as a phoenix from the ashes.
For the phoenix, life is lived in the “now/present”
The past is seen as present only, i.e. the past incarnating in the present.
The future is seen as imagination done in the present.
The phoenix lives with identification grounded in “formless life/aliveness” itself.
All else is seen as the play of life, “as form” and “with form”
Only the field exists, you do not
The whole unitive journey is about: becoming the field/surrendering/dissolving/merging into it totally.
Once united, what you are doing then, is what the field is doing.
And it does so automatically and effortlessly, of itself.
You are then simply in a state of absolute transparency, allowing, devotion, until you are not there at all, and only the field is.
RULE: “You are, when the field is not. When the field is, you are not”
So the field is not on your terms.
It is on its own terms.
The field is like the father who is driving.
The son/separate self is like the one with the toy steering that thinks he is driving.
The more ambitious the son, the more obviously he would realize that he was not in control and never was.
RULE: “Only the field exists, you do not exist.”
“You” are an illusion, stemming from ignorance.
There is a singular whole, and that is the only doer.
RULE: “The whole moves the whole, no part moves the whole, no part moves another part.”
RULE: “The same energy that makes the sun come up, the stars shine, the birds chirp, is the same energy that moves me and my experience.”
Relinquish all control and “let go/merge/unite/be/dissolve/align/drop/become one” with the field.
Only the field exists.
Once united, what you are doing then, is what the field is doing.
And it does so automatically and effortlessly, of itself.
You are then simply in a state of absolute transparency, allowing, devotion, until you are not there at all, and only the field is.
RULE: “You are, when the field is not. When the field is, you are not”
So the field is not on your terms.
It is on its own terms.
The field is like the father who is driving.
The son/separate self is like the one with the toy steering that thinks he is driving.
The more ambitious the son, the more obviously he would realize that he was not in control and never was.
RULE: “Only the field exists, you do not exist.”
“You” are an illusion, stemming from ignorance.
There is a singular whole, and that is the only doer.
RULE: “The whole moves the whole, no part moves the whole, no part moves another part.”
RULE: “The same energy that makes the sun come up, the stars shine, the birds chirp, is the same energy that moves me and my experience.”
Relinquish all control and “let go/merge/unite/be/dissolve/align/drop/become one” with the field.
Only the field exists.
The point of view of ego identification
The ego is the servant of god, and lives at god’s mercy.
The divine can ‘exalt’ or ‘humiliate’ the ego.
That is give power or withdraw all power (the power of the ego’s ability to control).
The ecstasies exalt while the crucifixions/sufferings humiliate.
By identifying and living as the ego, one lives from this point of view that opens this whole spectrum of:
Total Exaltation/Feeling like god —–vs—– Total Humiliation/Absolute victim
Total control ———-vs———– Total loss of control.
Now total loss of control has 2 flavors:
Ecstasy (if one falls into the most highly desired state) ———-vs————— Terror (when one falls into the most undesirable state).
Total control has 2 flavors:
Total control of creating ——–vs——– Total control of destroying
All these flavors of possibility are opened up from the point of view of IDENTIFICATION with the ego.
Ego is resistance to ‘WHAT IS’ -> in the form of controlling/manipulating the experience of ‘What is/Divine’, either seeking advantage or sabotage (positive control vs negative control, whatever is available and desirable).
To untangle the ego, one must release resistance to ‘What is’.
Just sit in your room and feel into existence and witness what you are resisting.
Those are the areas where the [ego structure like knotted balls of wool] are present.
They are the unfeeling/robotic/frozen parts of our instrument(the knotted structures of the ball of wool) we think is us.
Untangle those fibers and release them, so that they may blow freely with the divine wind, illuminating greater consciousness through greater finer feeling.
Untangle the feelers of your instrument so that it can receive more of the divine winds that flow.
Such a process invariably happens from a higher point of view, because the ego cannot witness itself from its own position.
The divine can ‘exalt’ or ‘humiliate’ the ego.
That is give power or withdraw all power (the power of the ego’s ability to control).
The ecstasies exalt while the crucifixions/sufferings humiliate.
By identifying and living as the ego, one lives from this point of view that opens this whole spectrum of:
Total Exaltation/Feeling like god —–vs—– Total Humiliation/Absolute victim
Total control ———-vs———– Total loss of control.
Now total loss of control has 2 flavors:
Ecstasy (if one falls into the most highly desired state) ———-vs————— Terror (when one falls into the most undesirable state).
Total control has 2 flavors:
Total control of creating ——–vs——– Total control of destroying
All these flavors of possibility are opened up from the point of view of IDENTIFICATION with the ego.
Ego is resistance to ‘WHAT IS’ -> in the form of controlling/manipulating the experience of ‘What is/Divine’, either seeking advantage or sabotage (positive control vs negative control, whatever is available and desirable).
To untangle the ego, one must release resistance to ‘What is’.
Just sit in your room and feel into existence and witness what you are resisting.
Those are the areas where the [ego structure like knotted balls of wool] are present.
They are the unfeeling/robotic/frozen parts of our instrument(the knotted structures of the ball of wool) we think is us.
Untangle those fibers and release them, so that they may blow freely with the divine wind, illuminating greater consciousness through greater finer feeling.
Untangle the feelers of your instrument so that it can receive more of the divine winds that flow.
Such a process invariably happens from a higher point of view, because the ego cannot witness itself from its own position.
A quick attempt to create a model of reality
A quick Model/Ontology of reality from my direct experience:
(I have added references to some kabbalah terms, physical universe analogues)
#### FORMLESS/SPIRIT/ABSOLUTE/EMANATION #### (World of: Atziluth)
1 – Unmanifest/ONE (Ain Sof) – 7D
#### FORM/MANIFEST/RELATIVE #### (yin yang, double helix dna)(universe)(Worlds of: Briah, Yetzirah, Malkuth)
2. SOUL REALM (Galaxy super cluster)(Kether/Platonic forms realm) – 6.3D
[Larger context = soul family/galaxy cluster] (6.2D specific family of souls)
Heart/Soul/Desire = Specified Soul DNA(galaxy) = Many lives as many beings context (6.1D specific)
Trans-human archetypes/symbology/mythology/hieroglyphs/motifs/artifacts/codes
3. STAR/SOLAR SYSTEM(5.3D) -> PLANET(5.2D) -> CREATURES REALM (5.1D)
Human Creature Biological DNA [larger context: creature family] = incarnation context – 5D specific
Human archetypes/symbology/mythology/hieroglyphs/motifs/artifacts/codes
4. CULTURE/CIVILIZATION/SOCIETY [Geburah/chesed]
Socio-cultural-civilizational-locational DNA – 4D
Specific cultural context where creature is born – 4D specific
5. EGO/SOCIAL IDENTITY [Yesod] – 3D
Specific internalization of family/enculturation/societal conditioning/civilization codes – 3D specific
6. PERSONAS [Masks/Presentations] – 2D
Chosen mask – 2d specific
7. The immediate chosen persona interaction possibility space – 1D
The actual interaction option chosen and happening = 1D specific
(I have added references to some kabbalah terms, physical universe analogues)
#### FORMLESS/SPIRIT/ABSOLUTE/EMANATION #### (World of: Atziluth)
1 – Unmanifest/ONE (Ain Sof) – 7D
#### FORM/MANIFEST/RELATIVE #### (yin yang, double helix dna)(universe)(Worlds of: Briah, Yetzirah, Malkuth)
2. SOUL REALM (Galaxy super cluster)(Kether/Platonic forms realm) – 6.3D
[Larger context = soul family/galaxy cluster] (6.2D specific family of souls)
Heart/Soul/Desire = Specified Soul DNA(galaxy) = Many lives as many beings context (6.1D specific)
Trans-human archetypes/symbology/mythology/hieroglyphs/motifs/artifacts/codes
3. STAR/SOLAR SYSTEM(5.3D) -> PLANET(5.2D) -> CREATURES REALM (5.1D)
Human Creature Biological DNA [larger context: creature family] = incarnation context – 5D specific
Human archetypes/symbology/mythology/hieroglyphs/motifs/artifacts/codes
4. CULTURE/CIVILIZATION/SOCIETY [Geburah/chesed]
Socio-cultural-civilizational-locational DNA – 4D
Specific cultural context where creature is born – 4D specific
5. EGO/SOCIAL IDENTITY [Yesod] – 3D
Specific internalization of family/enculturation/societal conditioning/civilization codes – 3D specific
6. PERSONAS [Masks/Presentations] – 2D
Chosen mask – 2d specific
7. The immediate chosen persona interaction possibility space – 1D
The actual interaction option chosen and happening = 1D specific
Journey to the Abstract 