Parallels between life and dreams

I have had 1000s of lucid dreams in my life,
Some of my takeaways from these dream experiences are:
# If you control the dream strongly it will fade to black very soon.
Your lightest touch of will/intent/emotion will keep the dream running the longest.
# After it fades to black, you have to just relax into the darkness and stay still, and then after a while the next potential dream emerges out of it.
I have at max gone through 10+ dreams this way.
Where a dream happens – you control it gently – and then it fades to black – you then stay still in the blackness – and the next one emerges and once again you participate – and so on.
Maintaining the thread of awareness through a series of lucid dreams is a subtle art of delicate control that is so much in harmony, that it is almost like non-control.
Similarly it is also possible to lose yourself into a dream if you get too involved and thereby lose your lucidity and get absorbed into its themes, and this would end that series of lucid dreams.

I see many parallels between my waking life and my dream life.
In my everyday life, each time I get up, I am a new person, in a new context, in a new energy space, in a new frame of mind.
I feel pulls in various directions, either external or internal.
Then I respond to the pulls based on conditioning/habits/likes/intentions etc. and then as I give into one of them, I get engaged in various activities/research/exploration/learning/contemplations etc. and then the investment energy gently fades, and then I either subtly shift my theme of activity to another one OR I just go back into the space/womb/ocean of ‘superposition of possibilities/void/chaos of various pull and push pulsating forces(like the ocean water undulations)’.
Then some wind of inspiration EMERGES out of this ‘possibility chaos’ and then rises up like a wave and carries me in its perspective/vision/feelings/quests etc.
And once that wave completes, I once again return to the ‘oceanic chaos of possibilities’.
I feel this is so similar to my dream.
The fading to void is like returning to the “chaos of possibilities”.
And the emerging of the dream is like the waking interests arising in me that move me.

I experience boredom, as a resistance to that state of “primordial chaos of possibilities”.
It is the longing/attachment to inhabit the coherence of a wave moved by the whole ocean vs. just being in a state of aimless undulation moving back and forth in the same place.
This then led me into contemplating further.
What is death really? Is it not the fading of THIS dream?

The whole thing is fractal.
There are cycles within cycles within cycles, and so on.
There is an infinite nesting of contexts.
There are contexts inside contexts inside contexts, and so on.
There is a dream within a dream within a dream, and so on.
My early childhood life, school life, college life, work life etc. were like different dreams, within the larger dream of my identity dream (once I identified myself in the mirror and by name).
I could also divide it as: Childhood, Teenage years, Early adulthood, Middle adulthood etc.
And all of this is coming from my mind DREAMING all of this up RIGHT NOW.
This makes me wonder! What is this great dream we are in?
What am I outside of this dream of my identity?
Am I not the ocean itself? from where this dream of me arose?

Right now, I am riding this dream wave of writing this post.
At the end of this post, this wave would have gone back into the ocean.

The ego is an endlessly spawning fractal

fractal

Even in this analysis what am I trying to do?
I am trying to overcome the ego condition I find myself in by understanding it, and can you see in this very problem statement is a fractal of – “continually trying to understand for which I need to also continually keep the problem in mind or seek/invent problems”. It is a sort of loop.
Exactly like how a fractal program runs eternally.
An ego is a closed fractal loop that operates IN TIME but is outside of time. The ego is ESSENTIALLY an ignorance.
All ignorance is outside of time, but plays out in time. (Like playing a cassette. The information in the cassette is already present beyond its linear playing out in time.)
It maintains itself fractally by reinforcing and seeking out the very problem it was created to solve.

For instance, imagine you create a game, where a character seeks and destroys all rocks. The ego is not the character as one might assume. Rather, the ego is the THE GAME itself. Which means, the character in the game will endlessly seek rocks, find rocks, destroy the rocks, but the game will also endless keeping generating/spawning new rocks so that the game keeps going.
Usually we think there is an end to all games.
But that is a limitation in our thinking. Why must there be an end? What will make the game end if you are the creator of the game itself?

This will go on FOREVER because the variable that will release this time loop of the ego is not to be found INSIDE THE GAME.
Now apply this analogy to all spiritual seeking.
NOTHING in the game contains anything that will free you from it.
Like say you are playing Mario. Is there anything in any level of Mario that will QUIT the game or change the game? Nope, the game is designed to go on and on.
Who quits the game?
Only that which is beyond the ego can release the ego.
It is fundamentally impossible for the ego to release itself by its own efforts.
It is as futile as a character in a computer 3d game, trying to quit the game from within the game.
This is an impossible riddle.
Transcendence is not in time, but rather it releases you FROM time.
Nothing temporal, or nothing in time, is the cause of your release.

Even talking to people, hearing masters etc. will not be the cause of your transcendence. I have had direct experience of this in many of my lucid dreams. I would suddenly realize I am lucid within the dream, and then spend the rest of the dream trying to convince others that they are in my lucid dream, and the others of-course would strongly disagree, and I would spend the rest of the dream trying to convince them. Then when I do wake up, it is not because of conversation with any character in the dream. I wake up when I am ready to wake up and no factor within the dream including the characters inside it are the cause of me waking up. The cause is always from the beyond, and it may so happen, that one of the characters would say something to you and that would just poof wake you up. That character only appears to be the cause, but in truth, your waking up happened from a level totally beyond the whole dream.