Sleep and Time

Sleep is the ultimate rejuvenator.
Every day you get around 7 hours (+-),
And it is non-negotiable.
If you use up 2 hours in the afternoon,
Then you get 2 less in the night.
Sleep is not something you can do.
You fall into it,
So there is no control.

It is like a gas station,
That allows only 1 refill per day for your vehicle.
Or like an ATM machine,
That dispenses a fixed amount to you everyday.
Or like your phone data plan,
Where you get 1gb/day and if you use it up early,
Then you would have extremely low speed until the next refill.

Sleep-Wake is a cycle.
It just goes round and round.
Time is all about cycles.
To be free from cyclic existence is to be free of time.

Look at your analog watch/clock,
Isn’t it a circle, with the hands going round and round?
The earth’s rotation gives day and night.
The moon’s phasing gives you a month
The cycles of the solar system give you your lifetime (84-120 years?)
The solar system, the arrangement of the sun, moon, and earth,
Work like a potters wheel,
Structuring life energy here into forms.

Time is an aspect/dimension of existence.
There are dimensions of existence beyond time.
When your vision has not grasped these cycles,
You think you are going somewhere,
But actually you are going round and round.
Like driving a car along a mobius strip.

Transcendence is when one rides the cycles of time,
Vs. being trapped in the cycles of time.

The real solution to anything

Solving things is irrelevant.
The real solution is always dissolution.
The real solution to anything is the transcendence of that thing.
Where the problem is subsumed and swallowed,
Into a higher space/context within you that is awakened.
The problem-solution paradigm exists in darkness,
Once the light is brightened, it all vanishes into the light.
Like how when you wake up from sleep, the dream vanishes.
Like how all the ghosts simply disappear once sunlight shines.

About Kundalini

I read that there are 3 stages of enlightenment:
# Stage 1: Gautam Buddha is behind you as a shadow.
# Stage 2: The Buddha comes in front of you, and you become the shadow.
# Stage 3: There is no more of you – not even a shadow, only the Buddha is.
(more information is available on this if you google it)

The kundalini initiates all 3 of these stages.
Kundalini is the “ascension energy” itself.
The “returning to source” movement from base to the crown chakra and beyond (not literal physical location, but more in terms of shifting of energy density from gross to subtle).
Spiritual seeking (the true kind) is from kundalini basically.
Kundalini is present in everyone but dormant, that is why this process is called kundalini awakening and kundalini rising.
Though I say “base to the crown”, the actual process is mystical and non-linear, not a linear flow from base to top in terms of physical location.
That is only for the purpose of symbolic representation.
Kundalini is like the stored source energy(potential) that serves as a vehicle to carry you back to source, it is the agency of transformation.

The concept of transcendence and spirituality does not even occur or appeal to someone whose kundalini is still dormant.
A sincere longing and seeking appears only after kundalini awakens.
Else there is no desire or any interest in such stuff, and such subjects.
The longing to transcend is the desire/potential, the force that makes you explore/seek/do sadhana is the kinetic/action.
That dormant potential that carries to the next dimension is the kundalini shakti.

It is like the upward current that carries you to a lower density, as your being receives greater energy.
Higher the energy = lower the density, like the molecules of gases have a lot more energy than liquids and solids.
Going up to lower density planes means, there is new information, new perception, new laws that are intuited, which are all the unfamiliar new terrains that are passed through in this process.
The “dark night of the soul”, is a stage in this kundalini ascension process, especially applies if you move very rapidly.
You can only move as fast as the amount of ‘loss’ you can handle and process.

So to recap the main points:
Kundalini is a symbolic system which represents the power/vehicle/fuel that carries you through the process of transcendence to lower densities planes from your current higher density plane.
This process is that it is highly mystical, non-linear, and beyond our understanding, at a level of mystery that is similar to life, birth, and death itself.

The source of joy

The source of your joy is within yourself.
It can just be brought forth, if you feel you have permission/allowance from others and yourself(internalization of caregiver projected approved images), to be that way.
If you cannot allow yourself or give yourself permission to be like those who are joyful, then you choose between 2 possible responses:
# To resent, hate them, and bring them down
# To get inspired, be drawn to them, and uplift yourself.
In both cases, there is a relationship, between you and the other, be it positive relationship or negative relationship.
The way to transcend needing this relationship at all, is to find out what prevents you from being like them, and investigate that fully.
Those others who are a certain way, which you will not give yourself permission to be, ARE your own disowned potentials.
So then, naturally you will have a positive or negative relationship with your disowned potentials.
You cannot recognize someone unless you can perceive the potential they represent.
All recognition is that.
Look at all the people you hate.
Are they not essentially representing potentials that you will not allow in yourself?

Fundamentals of existence: Form maintenance

FUNDAMENTAL OR BASIC CYCLIC BURDENS OF EXISTENCE:
*************************************************************
ELEMENTS:
***************
EARTH: Food -> Poo
WATER:
# Water -> Pee
# Sexual desire -> Release
AIR: Breathing In -> Breathing out
FIRE:
# Activity/Expression(physical(1c), sexual(2c), verbalizing(3c/5c), perception(4c/6c)) -> Rest/Sleep
# Mental learning -> Dreams; Novelty -> Rest
# Temperature: Hot (Fan) -> Cold (Jacket/Blanket)
OTHERS:
***************
HEALTH: Health -> Sickness (not a cycle really but it appears to alternate)
OTHER NEEDS: Clothing, Territory/Shelter
BODY MAINTENANCE:
# Toe Nails, Finger Nails, Head Hair, Beard(if male)
# Earth wash, Water wash, Wind wash, Fire wash.
RELATIONSHIP:
# At least one relationship to tune into (to harmonize the system).
# Relationship Alone time

This is the minimum it takes (acc. to me) to live, in this realm, in this form.
These are the basic requirements of this VR world which one cannot exit out of until its [time is over] or [transcended and mastered].

The cycles frequency(freq) and amplitude(amp) can be heightened or shortened:
# EARTH: If you eat more, you’ll poo more
# WATER:
If you drink more, you’ll pee more
If you indulge more in sexual desire projection and release more often, then it increases freq.
# AIR: If you breathe in more, you’ll breathe out more
# FIRE:
If you engage in more activity, then greater the rest period;
More the temperature variations, more the stimulation of metabolism.
Freq of Wash: Earth wash, Water wash (bath), Wind wash (standing in wind, fan), Fire wash
Freq of Hair and nail maintenance: Head hair, toe nails, finger nails, shaving.
Freq and amp(intensity) of: Relationship vs Alone time.
Freq and amp(intensity) of:
# Travel/Novelty vs. Home/Familiarity
# Learning/Exploring vs. Assimilation/Integration.

Madness is a distorted mirror

Madness is a distorted mirror.
For someone with a concrete identity, who is clearly identified with a specific structure of human experience and possibility, the mad person does not affect them much.
Because they do not identify with them at all.
We are not affected by things and people we do not identify with.
They see the mad person as totally separate from them.
However, for someone who is highly open, fluid, with vast vision and empathy, who recognizes in himself the potentials of the entire collective human consciousness itself, this witnessing of madness will hurt/pain a lot.
Because, here the deep visionary and empath can recognize himself in the mad person too.
It is like seeing a funky mirror at an amusement park, that distorts your face making your nose super large, eyes and chin super small etc.
For the person with a concrete identity, he just looks at it and flatly denies having anything to do with that reflection, he just says “this is not me”.
But for the deep visionary, it is trickier, because he is not identified with any fixed concrete identity as such, and sees himself with all possibilities of the collective consciousness.
So, when he sees the distorted mirror in the amusement park, he knows that, that is his face, a distorted version version of his original face.
The difference between the concrete person and the visionary is that, the concrete person believes the mad person is totally separate and has nothing to do with him, while the deep empath visionary can see the mad person IS HIM, in a greatly distorted form.
We are not affected by the things in which we cannot see ourselves in.
That is the root of empathy, is it not?
When your identity is sufficiently subtle, you see yourself in and as everyone and everything.

When you are young, you are mirrored in your mother’s and father’s image of you, which becomes your social identity (relational identity, ego).
If they mirror you in a seriously chaotic inconsistent mirror, then that becomes your “social identity/relational identity/ego”.
You are then never sure of your security, desirability, lovability, value etc.
Because the parent’s mad fluctuations keeps changing you from an angel to a devil randomly.
So then you start living in fear/anxiety all the time because you never know what wrong you have done, what punishment you are going to get, what expectation is going to be shoved on you etc.
They then keep you walking on eggshells all the time.
In order to adapt to those mad expectation projections on you from the parents, you have to keeping shaping yourself too accordingly.
So the end-result is, even your structure will mirror the mad parents.
The interesting thing to note here is that, madness at this intra-family level is only related to “inconsistency”.
A consistent interaction pattern no matter what it is, within the family, will be coherence and sanity. It may be totally mad with respect to the outside world however.
That is why the tyrant is a particular adaptation to madness, where he creates some arbitrary pattern and then stays ultra consistent in his investment to that, forcing others to abide by the same too, punishing them whenever they don’t.
A second adaptation to tolerate madness would be, to completely sacrifice yourself to the other and always changing yourself to match and harmonize with the changing random moods of the mad person.
The third adaptation I can think of is to completely isolate yourself, so that the self-other “painful difficult dynamic” can be totally avoided.
These 3 types of adaptation are essentially the: fight, fawn, flight responses.
If nothing works, and you are stuck in a inescapable situation, then the freeze response happens, where you lose consciousness of the entire self-other dynamic and float away in some out of body dissociated state.
At the societal level, the macrocosm mirrors the microcosm, that is:
The 4 categories of fight/fawn/flight/freeze form:
tyrants/followers/outcasts/hermits

The insight I get is: “People see me as they are, not as I am”.
But then it is also true that: “What I know as myself is only the internalized reflections from others”.
Because one cannot know oneself any more than a candle flame can burn itself.
So this is part of the “self-other” interdependent matrix.
Disharmony/Distortion/Projection = madness —vs— Harmony/Clarity/Independence = Sanity
Madness is always relative.
It is the discordant note in the symphony.
If you were born in a mad family, then the structures that you form mirror that circumstance and outcast/separate you too.
The same can be said about the parents themselves.
Maybe they themselves were the effect of mad circumstances.
So in this way, madness propagates itself in the genetic chain.

The way I deal with madness is, I work to transcend it.
By understanding the higher laws/dharma/truths beyond the madness, I work from that footing on fixing the madness in me and others.

Dissolve all experience back to source

All experience is a projection.
It is an external projection, that is why ex-perience.
This experience is projected from you.
And, to take the rabbit hole even deeper, you yourself are a projection from the source.
So ‘you’ don’t really exist.
Only the source exists.
Just like the characters in the movie screen are all made of light.
You yourself are the projection of the source.
The source projects you first and then withdraws you back into itself once it has enjoyed all the experiences AS you and THROUGH you.
The source alone is the enjoyer, sufferer, experiencer of all experiences.

Your true identity is that source itself.
“You” are the source itself which has taken on the form of you and now experiencing through you.
The only true value, and moreover, the only thing that really exists is the source.
And you and your experiences have never been anything else but this primordial source energy (if I can even call it energy).

Every desired object is only the projection of source energy from source through you onto the object.
So if you wish to return to the source:
Dissolve all negative self-images and feelings back to source.
Dissolve all low frequency emotions back to source.
Dissolve all tiredness low-frequency energy back to source.
Dissolve all desire back to source.
Dissolve all thoughts back to source.
Dissolve all images back to source.
Dissolve all experiences back to source.
Dissolve all interest emanations back to source.
Dissolve all suffering feelings back to source.
Dissolve all knowledge back to source.
Dissolve all memory back to source
Dissolve all perceptions back to source.

None of your experience is personal from the viewpoint of the infinite source.
All of it belongs to the source and it will return to the source.
I could call this source, god, the ultimate, and so on.
Another way to put it is, you yourself are the imagination of god.
So when god chooses to re-imagine you, he pulls you back into himself and re-imagines you as another being in another life and maybe in another totally different realm.
This total inward turn returns you to your source.