My ultimate desire

I’m not interested in new senses.
I’m not interested in more content.
Rather, I want the “force/cathexis/energy/desire/power/emotion/beauty/interest/passion/love” that functions invisibly with content.
But even all of the above are temporal subtle objects separate from me, which I experience and they can be taken away from me like any-thing temporal.
So what I surrender is not the object, but it is my way of seeing it/the perception of it as separate and the temporal space-time experience that comes as a result of that.
All of enlightenment is only about changing perception and nothing else.
One simply dissolves all separateness into larger and larger spaces, until your identity is all there is.
All drives are like subtle invisible(feeling only, like one feels wind) objects.
And the question is raised “Who/What is it that stands apart and witnesses the object, controls it, acts like a valve of how much energy should go to it”.
What is the control mechanism, valve like mechanism, energy trapper, that directs energy in a certain algorithm towards seemingly external inert objects?”
What is that “machine” that manipulates the shining of the primordial light and focuses it on only some objects and not others?
What is this entity in front of eyes that manipulates my clear seeing in a certain way?
I ultimately just want the ONE(the ultimate one without a second) and I want to MERGE/UNION with it.

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