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There is nothing to attain, all attainment is an illusion

All attainment is insubstantial, empty because it has no REAL substance. Like playing a video game and winning, or winning something in your night dream. It vanishes as soon as your state changes. Nothing can be held on to. Reality is a constantly moving movie or river.

Its like playing a game in a 5-D Virtual Reality room, where you just move on various treadmill like belts on the floor, and that translates into a virtual world projected on the screens of the room. Even if you play for 5 hours and accomplish all kinds of missions, its all ultimately empty, because once you turn off the VR machine and leave the room, all that reality is lost.

The interesting part is, usually when we give such an analogy of a video game, we say “you have to face the real world”. But even the real world is an empty appearance on the screen of consciousness. So then the question is WHAT IS REAL?(If the video game is not real, and the so called real world is also not real).

What is REAL is NOW. What is real is THIS. YOU ARE IT.
A millionaire, a person from the middle class, a child, all have the same mind and same potentials for projections. Its just the mappings and objects that differ. The same ‘mind and projection potentials’ is like the physical body and its energy in the virtual reality room. But the movie projected on the screens of the VR room is unique and individual to each person.

If I take it even further, even the VR room, physical body and its energies and potentials are not real and only an appearance. The absolute truth is that NOTHING is as it appears. There are just infinite appearances and no solid substance. The absolute truth IS “The Ultimate unknowable/imperceivable Mystery”. This is because you cannot KNOW yourself, just like a flame cannot burn itself OR a knife cannot cut itself OR an eye cannot look at itself. You are THAT UNKNOWN, which makes all of ‘THIS’ possible.
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Absolute Truth vs. Relative Truth

The entire relative reality is the reality of appearances.
Since the entire relative reality is an appearance, truths in the relative reality can change.
 
Relative reality truths are appearance/apparent truths.
Like what science studies, gravity, physics laws, body mechanisms, emotion mechanisms, social programming and so on.
Relative truths are truths regarding the nature of the dream appearance.

The relative reality/dream appearance truths too vary in their mystery factor:
Spectrum:
Determined (nature of rocks) —————— Mystery (Dreams at night)

But the absolute truth is like the very pixels in which the relative reality appearance comes up.
Absolute reality is like the pixels on the LCD screen.
Knowing the absolute truth is to know “YOU ARE THE SCREEN itself, on which everything/relative reality appears”.
Now relative reality is everything.
Because absolute reality is ‘Nothing’ OR beyond/transcendent of all the dream appearances that appear in it. So all things belong to relative reality/appearance/relative truth.
Like imagine all the varied dreams you have had every night. Think about the nature of the mind that dreamed all that up. That mind cannot be, or have the essence of any of those dreams right? Because every night its brand new ones. So all the dreams are then NON-ESSENCE. The only essence is the nature of the dreaming mind itself. So you could apply this analogy even in this waking life. This waking life is a dream of consciousness (the ineffable substance).

You may have a terrible time in relative reality, in the dream of awareness, just like having a bad dream at night if you imagine this waking life to be a 80 year dream. But no matter what the appearance – good-bad, narrow-vast, limited-infinite, struggle-comfort, that is only an insubstantial, non-essential appearance in YOUR TRUE NATURE, which is AWARENESS or CONSCIOUSNESS itself.

Relative reality is the – appearances on the screen, movies on the screen and so on.
To know who you are, is to know yourself to be the screen itself vs. a character in the movie.
To know yourself to be CONSCIOUSNESS.
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Codependence – Contraction of consciousness around perceived reflections from others

Codependency stems from fear.
Fear of being rejected, abandoned, persecuted, exploited and so on.
It is a kind of hyper vigilant state where we put all of our attention resources to the perceived expectation and sacrifice ourselves.
In our consciousness, we are aware of both ourselves and others.
Both appear on the same screen and we are aware of the whole.
Attention is evenly distributed to all of consciousness when we are at peace.
However fear, can contract all of attention around the feared object and blur out the rest of consciousness content.
When there are perceived expectations from others, we quickly sacrifice ourselves and put all of our attention to satisfy the expectations of the people or environment around.
The awareness of oneself is lost, until the “perceived expectation environment” or the “person with the supposed expectations” leaves.
I would emphasize the word “Perceived expectation” because it may or may not be the real expectation of the environment or person. Its what we think/believe that causes our reaction.
A simple example of this would be, if someone told you there is a dangerous street where people with rob you at gunpoint from just about anywhere. And say you are compelled to walk through that street to get to your apartment. You would get into a hyper vigilant state and put all the attention on threat detection right. Even if a small fly passed by your ears in this state, it would STARTLE you.
Now what if that was a prank and the street was totally safe? So your experience is determined by what you think or believe.
It is questioning the thoughts/beliefs and facing root archetypal fears that can transform codependency.
The cause of this, is probably related to early childhood conditioning, relationship with caregivers, beliefs formed during that time and so on. They control our energetic workings at a level below the conscious mind. Automated protective instincts, one could call it.
So another way to describe this would be, a contraction of attention due to fear, around others and their expectations the way we perceive it. We are afraid they might reject us, abuse us, do us harm, exploit us, neglect us and so on. So we stay hyper-vigilant to avoid those realities because they could threaten our very survival. This would be totally true when you are a small helpless child. But the issue is, the fear memory is so strong that it continues throughout adulthood.
It is the story of the baby elephant who was tied to a thin rope. How much ever he tried to escape he could not. He tried and tried and just gave up in helplessness. Now once the elephant is an adult, it can snap the rope effortlessly, but yet the fear and learned helplessness is so strong, the elephant simply stays chained to the rope and does not make one effort to escape.
This is the kind of conditioning that happens even in humans. As an adult we have great powers and knowledge, but our learned helplessness and unquestioned root beliefs and fears keep us trapped.
But the root of all of this is that, the FEAR needs to be transcended and then questioning the beliefs will help you create the new reality you desire.
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Have I lost interest in all of God’s creation?

Have I lost interest in all of God’s creation? The ‘What IS’?
Does the Ego exist precisely because of hatred/aversion of ‘What IS’?
The degree of aversion, creating a proportionally larger ego?
So while dissolving the ego, what I am dissolving is aversion/hatred itself?
Which is why there is such hatred for ‘What is’ in the dark night?
Because the ego encounters the non-self/’What is’ and reacts with the very reason for its existence – the hatred of ‘What is’?
How can we love evil? The people who hate us? Our dual personalities which threaten us entirely?
Its like how can a forward moving wave in the ocean, accept the backward moving wave going to hit and destroy it?
Maybe that is why – the ego is not capable of love.
The wave does not love the other waves. It is the ocean that loves all waves, including the forward and backward moving waves i.e. both creation and destruction.
Only the disinterested/dispassionate/transcended is capable of love. 
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We are essentially in love with concepts

I want to find someone who is in love with the ‘Concept of ME’.
That is what I keep seeking.
Why? Because I am identified with the ‘Concept of ME’.
Why am I identified? Because I myself am in love with the ‘Concept of ME/Myself’.
Identification = LOVE. They are the same thing.
We love our nature, who we are (OR rather what we think and believe we are, which are various concepts)
We are lonely in our love for ‘Our concept of ourselves’, and we seek to expand this by looking for others who are in love with the same concept too.
All of love is for Concepts. Each person in this world is a ‘Living concept/A seed of potential’.
We love our nature. We are love itself. But we believe we are a concept.
Identification with concepts is the dream state we are in.
Waking up is about shifting identification out of concepts into ‘The Ineffable Consciousness’ itself.
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Everything and Everyone is God’s will/desire

Every person’s existence is God’s will.
Every person’s will is God’s will.
All egos are God’s will.
Every person’s desires is God’s desires.
Every single appearance is God’s Form.
Every being’s experience is God’s experience.
Everything in your awareness (which is all that IS) is God’s doing.
You yourself are something God is doing.
When he stops doing/dreaming ‘You’, you return to the God nature.
You are a gift that awareness has given itself.
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The 3 Buddhist Truths are Resoundingly True

The 3 Buddhist principles/Golden Truths are really TRUE:
1. Impermanence (annicha) – Nothing can be held onto, everything is A&P
2. Non-self (annatha) – Non-essence/Emptiness of all experience
3. Unsatisfactoriness of all experience (dukkha) – Nothing finite/no object can satisfy
The truth is the Grand Emptiness-Objectless-Whole-Infinite-Mystery-Unknown in which all experience APPEARS as simply an appearance.
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About fear

Normally fear is an unpleasant experience and we avoid it as far as we can.
But we are in a reality, that we do not entirely control, so the reality could very easily take the form which triggers your fears, and you once again need to escape. Sometimes reality provides opportunities to escape, but sometimes it does not or makes escaping increasingly harder.
Life starts to become wretched when that happens.
So, then we could inquire into it:
Can we avoid it? – Maybe, maybe not, you are at the mercy of reality, an unseen unknown force.
Can we face fear? – Yes, we can. It would be very unpleasant. In my experience I have tried to face many of my fears head on (whichever ones I could manage). This approach is useful for the irrational fears. Like fear of flying insects, bees, bats and so on.
But what about the RATIONAL fears?
Like of REAL DESTRUCTIVE forces?
One possibility is to use various religious concepts – like whatever happens, even if very destructive, is ultimately for my good. This is some kind of trust in the ultimate good/perfection of everything. A belief in a higher power beyond your intelligence.
But again, its not possible to maintain/hold on to beliefs in the face of an ever changing unknown reality.
Today you believe ‘everything is for your ultimate good’.
What if tomorrow you believe that ‘everything is out to destroy you and that you need to protect yourself’. Again the fear will be back right?
I have spent years sifting my mind through 100,000s of beliefs, ways/eyes of seeing and none of them are true. I cannot hold on to any way.

So then the next step in addressing fear would be: to fully face it and be fully equanimous in the face of it. Watch it happen to you a several times, and fully see its impermanence once it passes away.

Even after this, I’ve noticed the experience of fear nevertheless still gets triggered. The milestone reached at this stage is – I have lost the fear of looking at fear. So fear of fear has been overcome.
But there is still the experience of fear when triggered.

But now, since you can look at fear, you can try to see where it is coming from.
It comes from identification – i.e. who you think/imagine is you.

What I think I am IS the entity that I am trying to protect.
FEAR is a protective response of this entity, that is trying to protect itself from the possibilities reality is throwing at it.
So addressing FEAR by itself does not address the cause of fear, which is identity/ego/attachment itself.
Now the identity is a verb – an ongoing investment (desires) for certain potentials in reality – and that creates the shadow side i.e. everything that threatens your desires (fears).

Investigate first who you are.
A better and faster way in fact, would be to investigate who you are NOT.
The dis-identification with ego would also dissolute all fears.

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War(Abuse), Identifications, Consciousness

When the phenomenon of war is in consciousness, you witness both the attacker/perpetrator and the defender/victim in consciousness. One may identify with the attacker. The other may identify with the defender. But from the consciousness point of view, both have seen the same phenomenon with different identification poles (different points of view in the same phenomenon). So in a way, war is war, in your consciousness, as an experience, whether as a perpetrator or victim, it only changes the point of view. To transcend war is to transcend both the points of view – of attacker and victim, that is, to leave the entire paradigm of the experience itself and remove identification with either perpetrator or victim.

Its like you win/lose is only possible if your investment is in the game.
Without investment in the game, winning of losing is irrelevant.
So withdraw the investment from the perpetrator/victim duals of the game of war.
Once the investment is withdrawn, perpetrator/victim is irrelevant.
Therefore there is neither guilt nor blame.
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Transformation Process

Dreams of energy will go on forever by the ‘mystery unknowable (beyond/underneath of knowing) creative force’.
All that there is to do is to surrender into the ocean of subtlety/dissolution, which is not a ‘doing’ but more of an ‘undoing’ of grosser structures and subtleizing, to allow identity to move and function in subtler levels. Ego is at a very subtle level under thoughts themselves. So once the energy gets subtler than the ego, and identity shifts to that, then the energy/identity has the capacity to witness the ego itself and thereby transcends it.
It is like screen resolution.
If the resolution of your consciousness screen is 640×480. Then you cannot see minute objects that you can see when your resolution reaches 1280×720 OR 1920×1080 OR 4k resolution. As the resolution increases, smaller and smaller (subtler and subtler) objects can be perceived. Ego is an object that would be visible say only in a 4k screen. So once you go beyond 4k to 5k or 6k, you have transcended the ego, because you would witness the ego itself. Whereas a person with a resolution of 1280×720 cannot see the ego because it is too subtle to be seen. His resolution does not capture it.