Category: Uncategorized

Posted on

There is no ideal action, no ideal way to bring up a child

In a way, I can see there is no way to ideally bring up a child.
For every (A) that I do, there is always an (A!)
If my child is a genius or idiot, bright or dull, sad or happy etc.
Each is a different WHOLE PARALLEL COMPLETE INFINITY
In whichever way you bring up a child, it just creates a different experience.
What is the value of experience?
I could focus on the gain OR focus on the loss and accordingly see different pictures
But what is the true picture when seen in totality?
This could apply to any personal action of any sort.
There is no way to absolutely win.
There is no absolute ideal action one can take.
All actions in the absolute sense are equivalent.
Its only relative actions that have this concept of winner/loser and so on.
In the absolute sense,
Each action spawns a new reality and this new reality is as real/valid/complete as the old.
This ties back to an earlier blog post I had written about ‘What is the value of experience’?
What is the value beyond the super ego value judgment framework put on it?
If the value of a thing is dependent on the super ego framework of the individual perceiver,
Then there is no absolute value for anything, value is entirely subjective.
Half full or half empty, but in both cases the whole picture is always the same.
The full does not exist without the empty.
The empty does not exist without the full.
If entirely full, I would not perceive the glass were entirely full.
If entirely empty, I would not perceive the glass were empty.
What about 25% full, 75% empty?
What about 75% full, 25% empty?
That is possible only when not seeing the entire picture.
Its like looking at ying yang circle with a smaller scope and as you move the scope around you see changing ratios of white to black.
Experience is like the poles of a magnet.
You can split it and smash it into as many tiny pieces
However even the tiniest piece will show polarity (-ve and +ve)
This is because in every explicit perception there is an equivalent implicit perception.
So Explicit + Implicit = Always Whole, no matter what the perception is.
The relative universe is the game of the absolute, by first spitting into duality.
All the games then happen within duality with infinite variety.
But all of this is contained in the SCREEN of the ABSOLUTE.
Karma is inevitable in all action and non-action.
Even karma moves experience to a different STATE.
Every experience or STATE is equally valuable, just like every picture is equivalent on a TV screen.
Posted on

The importance of having an ego

The realization is more about DIS-IDENTIFICATION with the ego in whatever form it exists. It is about being identified with the formless quality-less infinite consciousness. It is not about removing the ego. It is about being dis-identified, realizing that you have infinite choice and freedom, and that you have infinite adaptability and flexibility to create any ego you deem best serves the reality appearance.

The ego needs to exist, because without that, there is no basis for reality, no coherence, just complete noise signal.  The ego is the prism of this noise signal of reality, and it converts it to a defined coherent picture or movie.

My quest is to move more and more towards better creating an authentic self/ego for myself, and live with it in a way that serves (in harmony and awareness) the ultimate reality of consciousness as it appears moment to moment.

Posted on

About myself

In my childhood I was given very little ego structure.
So in a way, the structure of my identity was very diaphanous and airy, non-solid.
It would allow a LOT more reality.
There was not enough structure to repress.
So it was like living in a kind of psychosis.
So my enlightenment now is a movement from mild psychosis to full release.
That is why I am so much more in touch with infinite potential, because without a structure to really repress things, I got a trailer of infinity all throughout my childhood for a long time.
But my identification with a weak ego which is unable to repress, led me to develop various avoidance  patterns to protect myself.
This had therefore become a burden, causing me to seek enlightenment, remove my repression and get RELEASE.
The accommodations I had made to protect the ego made everything TOO restricting/limited/stifling.
I just wanted to FREE myself and know who I am.
Since I had seen so many realities, I was somehow in touch with a deeper truth,  I knew the direction I had to move to find the truth.
I always had the light with me.
Since I had a weak ego structure, I could not easily repress (repression needs a strong structure as a pre-requisite)
This caused the psychosis, adhd like situation.
So I had to stay in bounds and avoid a lot of things, to prevent myself from getting overwhelmed and threatening the framework.
If the framework got threatened, I would dissociate, withdraw and use other extreme steps to protect myself which was a lot of suffering to resist so much.
In childhood and even now in a way, I kept getting a mystical trailer of various infinite broad realities.
An analogy would be like, for most people, they see the movie of their life with one or a few themes.
In my case, without sufficient repression I was like naturally on a psychedelic trip.
I saw several themes, several flavors in the broadest ways.
But all of them had this painful identification with the ego which always restricted me a lot, caused a lot of suffering, avoidance, fear.
The psychosis meant a LOT more reality as experience entered me, so it created a severe mental decision challenge when I could see so much.
Now I see, I cannot understand infinite or God.
I simply serve the mysterious infinite as it appears moment to moment.
Posted on

What is the unconscious?

‘The Unconscious’ is basically ‘potential forms of consciousness’ that are prevented from entering consciousness by elaborate egoic mechanisms and repression.

For example: A workaholic may spend his whole day being productive to avoid the dual of feeling worthless.

The being identified with ego always lives in a state of tension and fear, because the unconscious is always threatening the ego by impinging on its boundaries.

So the ego creates elaborate mechanisms to prevent the unconscious (a bunch of repressed/non-accepted potentials of consciousness) from entering consciousness.

A weak ego, with weak repression, becomes desperate to prevent itself from being swallowed by the unconscious. The false identification with the ego, makes us believe we are something i.e. (finite infinite) and have to protect ourselves and fear the (infinite infinite) from swallowing us.

Posted on

Dark night experience

Dark night(DN):
– DN is basically a flooding of repressed material into consciousness, so that it can be seen, accepted, understood, seen as your potential, as you, and then released.
– So if life is constantly driving you to feel things which you repressed or don’t want to feel, then all the energy gets consumed in resistance so that you do not feel the repressed material.
– You end up being in a lifeless, stoic state and struggle to hold on to it, to prevent yourself from being consumed with all the repressed/unpleasant stuff.
– So this explains the dark night experience. Its when the contents of consciousness become the repressed material and this can happen to anybody trying to transform.
– The way out is to give out all your love for all the material arising, so that those energetic traps can be released.
Posted on

Other people are my consciousness

Other people are my own consciousness.
So their emotions, are emotions in my consciousness.
My non-acceptance of their emotions –> actually means non-acceptance of those emotions in my consciousness.
In a way, their anger is ‘Anger in consciousness’.
My anger or their anger is ultimately the same –> i.e. both are appearances in my consciousness.
What I repress or avoid in others, is by nature, what I am repressing and avoiding in myself too.
This is because if I do not want ‘X’ in my consciousness then not only would I not allow myself to experience ‘X’, I would also not allow the other’s display of ‘X’ to make me feel ‘X’.
For example: Say you repress anger. Then firstly you would not allow yourself to feel angry. Secondly, even if someone displays anger at something, you would not allow anger to arise in yourself inspite of your witnessing of that person’s display. In other words, you are not really seeing that person’s emotion at all and you dont want to really see it, because it is the very thing you have repressed in yourself. You would dissociate with that person’s anger and stay stoic or something. Now if that person’s directs his anger towards you, then you would have to put greater effort to repress your own anger arising as a reaction, and this repression would require a very strong dissociation. Maintaining this dissociation takes up a lot of resistance and is therefore suffering, since Resistance = Suffering.
When it comes to other people:
Their sadness, is ‘Sadness in consciousness’.
Their sadness or my sadness is again the same – both are equivalent appearances in consciousness.
Based on what the contents of our consciousness are, like anger, sadness (whether endogenous or observed in other people), we either accept(love) or reject(hate).
What we call unconscious, is essentially what you have repressed or hated so much, you have pushed it out of your consciousness. When encountered with repressed material, we either fight hard, resist or avoid it to push it away.
Ultimately both fight and flight have the same purpose. To get the non-accepted repressed part out of your consciousness.
Posted on

Union of opposites

The villian is heroically non-heroic
The hero is villanously non-villanous.
You can be arrogantly humble
You can be humbly arrogant
You can be wickedly right or rightfully wicked.
You can be fundamentally non-fundamentalist OR non-fundamentally fundamentalist
You can be violently peaceful or peacefully violent
You can desire desirelessness OR not desire desire
You can project lovely hate, or hateful love
You can relaxedly struggle OR strugglefully relax
You can walk the path of no-path OR walk the non-path of path
You can become ‘being’, or be ‘becoming’
And so on…
Posted on

All phenomenal objects/observation objects are YOU

There is no ‘phenomenal object’ or ‘observation object’ that cannot be seen as yourself (i.e. the same as the eyes of love). This includes all kinds of pain, suffering, agitation, every possible humiliation and negative experience, and so on. Because ultimately everything is an appearance in consciousness.
All appearances are me, and I am the mysterious/unknowable force that moves everything.
From the transcendent viewpoint, this is exactly what I want.
In that level of seeing, my creative principle becomes the creative principle of the entire universe, my will becomes God’s will, my intelligence becomes God’s intelligence, I become one with God, I become God. I AM ‘THAT’.
That mysterious unmanifest force is me, along with all of the manifest, which is also me.
The manifest is a very very small part of me.
But I sometimes choose to forget my vastness just to experience limitation and explore one of my possibilities.
This helps me renew the appreciation for who I am, by the duality principle.
The more limitation you experience, the more you can appreciate your vastness, when you go back.
This entire manifest is one of my infinite possibilities.
The rest of the infinite infinite possibilities are the unmanifest (potential for manifest possibilities).
The true experience of being GOD, can only be had after experiencing limitation, because it is the limitation that illuminates the experience of the infinite. And it is the infinite that illuminates the experience of being limited.
Because if you were really limited, you would not even know you are limited. If you were really infinite, you would not even know you are infinite. The 2 experiences mutually create each other and mutually illuminate one and other by the principle of duality.
If God did not play this game, there would be no experience at all. Just ZERO, NOTHING and it would not be possible to experience this NOTHING, because NOTHING needs a SOMETHING to contrast it to be NOTHING. So all experience can only happen in duality/contrast. So the experiences are duality dreams played by God, for his own entertainment, enjoyment, and for playing with his infinite creativity and possibilities.
Posted on

I remain as my effortless essence

729560__red-flower-wallpaper-wallpapers_p
I let go of all people and things,
That need my effort to be with me.
If it is just my act or effort,
That makes people or things come to me or be with me
Then I let them go.
If people or things come to me effortlessly,
If they are naturally attracted to my effortless essence (my true essence),
I embrace them, witness them, understand them, BE with them, love them.
But I do not seek anything or anyone, with my act or effort.
Something/Someone that requires my effort to be attracted to me,
Is not really loving me, but only loving my effort/act.
I remain in my effortlessness, and drop all effort.
I welcome everything that is naturally attracted to my essence.
Just like a flower.
The flower simply stays open and vulnerable,
but does not seek to make people look at it/admire it/love it,
By tricks, acts, deceptions, manipulations.
The flower does not expect anything from anyone,
All it gives out is its true intrinsic effortless essence,
Radiating it outwards to anyone who SEES it, truly sees it as it is.
It remains in its nature, and people who are really present with it
See its utmost beauty and tenderness
While others who are preoccupied in the clouds of their ego
Simply pass by without noticing the flower
I am this open vulnerable flower.
I remain as I am, in my effortless nature.
Posted on

The importance of the ego (using the freudian model of the psyche)

There is the:
WHAT I WANT – Desires/Needs/ID
WHAT SHOULD BE – Superego/Morals
ARBITER, DECISION MAKER/EXECUTIVE – Ego/Decider/Action
When the ego/self/personality structure does not integrate the ID and superego, there is internal strife.
If the super-ego is too large – there is inhibition by guilt, other-centered martyr. May get exploited.
If the ID is too large – there is the asshole, self-centered bully. May exploit.
Since the ego is the arbiter, the ego will notice it gets hijacked by guilt (super-ego) while the neglected part screams. Similarly the ego can also notice if it gets hijacked by desires and the neglected morals would scream back.
If we take the caricature form:
If the super-ego entirely dominates – we will have a perfect martyr personality, excessive empathy, entirely other focused.
If the ID entirely dominates – we will have a psychopath, 0 empathy, entirely self-confused.
So it seems like, the ego (which is vilified in other spiritual contexts) actually in this model, serves an integrating function, a harmonizing function in consciousness. So we need to have an extremely capable and strong ego that can integrate both the entire Super-ego(morality, empathy) and the entire ID (unconscious) and maintain a beautiful music and harmony between them.
Maybe that is the function of the ego, to balance the infinity on both sides:
(infinite superego, ideals)+ve infinity —————Ego(arbiter)————— -ve infinity(infinite unconscious)
We could look at it in multiple ways:
(consciousness, knowledge, understanding, coherence)Light———–(Ego)————–Darkness(unconsciousness, unknown, mystery/wonder, chaos)