Journey to the Abstract

Because consciousness is the indra’s net. Your projections are mirrored and reflected back to you from everywhere.

Like when you love an object, you will feel the object loves you back too.

When you love a person, you will feel that person’s loves you back too.

When you love the world, you will feel the world loves you back too.

When you hate the world, you will feel the world hates you too.

Even the masks get projected back to you many a times.

For example: If you project hostility with the mask of civility – you will feel others are doing the same thing. That they are hiding hostility behind their civility.

Another example: If you hate the world, but are just acting nice – you would see others the same way, that they too act nice, but inside are hating you and the world.

So your own mind is externalized and the projections you give out are mirrored back to you from other people, world, and its objects.

It is possible to live in the ‘What is’ state without projecting pain, pleasure at all, and just live in that mystic bliss of ‘What is’?

Pain and pleasure are after all a layer above ‘What is’ manifesting as psyche projections towards manifest objects.

The problem in the Dark Night of the soul, is an asleep un-moving stagnant psyche. So it is like murky water that gives a browny reflection of everything vs. clear water that reflects all the colors. It is a case where certain colorings stick into the eye of seeing itself. Or the dark night can be said to be similar to dark clouds, that cloud feeling either completely OR cloud up 90% of everything.

There is a stagnancy, unmovingness of psyche. And all our aliveness is based on the changing psyche which changes and mirrors the sensory information. In other words, all of reality is interpretation OR input processing (as said by Charles Tart – States of consciousness). In the spectrum of consciousness, if lower consciousness is reduced possibility, and higher consciousness is closer to infinite possibility, “dark night” is to be pulled into reduced possibility, deprivation, into lower consciousness.

It is a state much closer to death – in terms of profound loss. Its like your inner child has gone into coma. So you perceive everything entering through your senses, but nothing moves your rigid calloused psyche much. So this unfeeling, unemoting, unconnecting state is the state of great deprivation. That is then we realize that this world is ALIVE only when our psyche projections are alive and dancing. Else the sensory input is devoid of all pleasure and meaning (meaning = pleasure). The world is alive when our psyche is 100% responsive to sensory input. When the psyche is mostly unresponsive and stuck in a dark cloud of feeling, then all the sensory input enters, but we feel very little, it all means nothing.

What dies/or goes into coma/or transformation sleep is spirit and then we realize ‘WHAT A LOSS IT IS TO LOSE SPIRIT”. It is unbearable. That is truly the most precious thing. Without spirit what is the use of anything, there is 0 will to live.

Just like we experience other physical entities in the physical plane (whom we refer to as other people),

we similarly have emotional entities, thought entities, belief/world creator entities,

i.e. subtle entities living in the etheric, astral planes.

Now remember, physical entities are gross entities.

They do not independently exist, but rather they are simply aggregates of other subtle entities.

For example a certain aggregate of a belief/world creator, thought, emotion entities make up the physical entity.

Each gross is an aggregate of its previous subtle entity.

For instance:

A physical entity is an aggregate of the emotion entity

(what does it mean to be physical, physicality is a certain class of feeling, correct?)

An emotional entity is basically an aggregate of a thought entity.

(What is emotion but a juicy thought, OR a thought aggregate. A more detailed explanation for this would be, each thought is an experience. Now imagine, a bunch of thoughts combine themselves together in a relationship, this aggregate story thought generates a stronger experience we term emotion).

A thought entity is a formation based of the world creator building blocks. So a thought is again an aggregate of those even subtler belief/world creator block paradigms.

Now what creates the very lego blocks for the worlds – in which aggregates of thought, emotion, physical exist?

We can call that spirit/God/Consciousness and so on and end the abstraction here.

So if all the entities – Belief/Worlds, Thoughts, Emotion, Physical are simply aggregates, then everything is ultimately an aggregate of Spirit/God/Consciousness.

We are all basically God, but each with different aggregates – belief/thought/emotion/physical aggregate experiences.

Its just like from Gross to Subtle we have – Ether, Air, Water, Solids.

To give an analogy, its like:

Ether = Worlds, Beliefs, Paradigms

Air = Mental

Water = Emotion

Solids = Physical

Even here if you notice each gross is an aggregate of its preceding subtle.

The atoms of ether come together to form air.

Molecules of air come together to form Water.

Water comes together and congeals into a solid or ICE.

But ultimately everything is made up of atoms.

– In my experience, the dark night basically symbolizes something analogous to the formation of a new government(self) and a falling away of the old government. In between this process, when there is no government, there is anarchy.

– Another analogy would be the transformation of a caterpillar -> cocoon -> butterfly.

With the loss of the core self, there is chaos, anarchy in the psyche.

No channelizing force(self) has emerged yet.

So then a good way to describe this experience would be, imagine a video game with a 1000 characters.

Say 20 of them form the government. Let’s say you experience the game from the eyes of these 20 people government force who are more or less in agreement with each other about policies, direction, purpose and so on.

Now lets say gradually this government completes its purpose or realizes its illusions and falls away.

What happens next? There is anarchy.

The 1000 characters now have no ruler or organization that rules.

Now instead of experiencing from the eyes of the 20 people government force who were in agreement, you start experiencing the world from various smaller random groups of people.

Every time you shift to another group’s or individual’s eyes, you entire view of everything changes.

You experience different isolated people/factions point of view from their eyes.

This is akin to the experience of the dark night where there is emptiness of meaning, and temporary meanings are just generated depending on which random group’s/isolated person’s eyes you are viewing from.

This happens, until all the 1000 people or most of them come together and form a new self/government.

This is the formation of the new self.

The REAL YOU however is simply the witness watching this whole game play out.

Only the apparent characters/viewpoints etc. shift in the game.

Desire is just like Aversion

It is a prison

A sensation that comes into you, that impels you into some kind of action

Action in the gross(Physical) or subtle(Thought)

The true innermost will cannot manifest itself in experience when there is desire/aversion.

The way out is to delegate/surrender/release/let go.

Give full freedom to each atom of your experience.

Withdraw energy from the gross and bring it down to silence.

Also ensure that each ‘experience atom’ is independent, untangled

And no part is controlling any other part

The whole prison is of experience.

What controls our experience? What do we give energy to?

What we give energy to, is precisely the component of experience that persists.

The insight I had on LSD was – “What you experience is exactly what you are holding on to”.

This life for me, has been about the bottoming out my unconscious – of both gross pleasures/pains, subtle pleasure/pains, and the subtlest pleasures/pains.

Which is why I experienced a magnificent buffet in this life of various pleasure/pain experiences in various spectrums.

The experiences that are persistent have to be released.

These persistent experiences can range from the Gross (physical pains) to the Subtlest (a certain world view).

One must settle in complete equanimity and completely quell(silence) the vibration of the physical, energy, thought worlds. Total silence in all 3, can bring transparency into ‘What is’.

The silencing is done by withdrawing your energy from the grosser forms of experience.

First entirely still your body and then withdraw energy from all gross movement.

Now, you will be witnessing your emotion and thought fields moving in your experience.

In the next step, withdraw energy from your emotions and silence them.

Keep very finely observing your emotions in a detached disinterested manner

Do this until there is great stillness of emotion.

When you reach a certain stillness, you will only notice 2 things, your breathing and heartbeat.

Continue fine observation of this duo (breathing and heart) beat until they both become very subtle.

Now, the interesting part starts. You will now ride on the breath and heartbeat like a surfer rides a wave.

You will literally move with your breath and heartbeat and stabilize its vibration at each moment.

Your breath and heartbeat are like your VEHICLES for the next steps.

Now with both the physical and the emotions still, and with you simply riding the VEHICLE of (breath, heartbeat), your experience now consists of only the movements of the thought field.

The movements of the thought field are for example, how you spoke to yourself internally and guided yourself to this state. This internal talk that you did, is from the thought field.

Silence the talk.

Now again look deeply in your experience and try to silence all energy movements of thought.

Stay in this absolute still state for as long as you want.

This is where I have reached so far.

At this point of time, you will experience great peace, bliss, relief.

We usually do not witness ‘What is’ but rather we only witness the “stuck grosser entities”.

Like imagine if there were worms swimming in the vitreous humor fluid inside your eye.

Where-ever you look you would see those worms right. Our usual state is something like that.

The entities in the physical, emotion, thought and belief planes constantly obscure the TRUE reality.

The thing that is sticking can be a gross entity dominating experience, or a subtle entity like an identity giving the illusion of freedom.

But this freedom is not real freedom, it is conditioned narrowed freedom.

No matter how open minded you may be, some inner algorithm is still imprisoning you.

Freedom is an intuitive sense of potentials, possibilities and expanse.

Its all in your intuitive feeling of what you identify yourself as.

Basically you move your identification away from regular ego to the transcendent object.

Once this is done, your older identity is still available completely but it rests as only one of the possibilities of the infinite seed you have become.

(Note: Emptiness == Non-substantial, Temporal, Impermanent)
When all objects of awareness are seen in complete clarity, it means the perception of the object is penetrating the object fully and revealing its emptiness. So seeing things in emptiness – is to see things as they really are – it is to completely see the nature of the object as a “consciousness object” and to simultaneously also never lose sight of the “background of emptiness” on which the temporal object appears and disappears. It is to never lose sight/awareness of the “background screen”.

Its like being in a movie theater and never losing sight that you are viewing a screen with images projected on the screen. It is never losing sight of your true nature i.e. of being the screen itself and the images that the screen turns itself into. The ‘images that appear/movies that play’ on the screen are an ultimate “Mystery”. “All experience” is truly a “Mystery”.

We are stepping into this mystery every moment, but at the same time, we have never EVER left our nature of being CONSCIOUSNESS.

Metaphysically speaking, what is pain?

Pain is loss of freedom, pain is a hijack of attention, pain fills your awareness with itself, seizes your attention/focus and does not allow you to access your loved objects. Pain has the experience of gravity. You cannot access other loved objects in your awareness when the pain’s gravity pulls you towards itself. Like say you are depressed. Then the depression fills up your awareness and you cannot access other emotional states when the gravity of depression is holding you down. Pain itself is not the problem. It is just a sensation. It is the gravity of the pain that binds you to it and prevents you from accessing any of your other loved objects. So we fear this loss and we apply resistance and desperately try to push against the gravity of pain and hold on to at least the nearest loved objects reachable to us. This resistance = suffering and its the suffering that is the problem, which arises because of attachments to the loved objects. The gravity of pain forces you to apply resistance against it to access your loved objects and this is the suffering that pain causes. If you simply allow pain to fill your awareness and surrender completely, there will be no suffering and pain is no problem (then we would not even call it pain colloquially, we would simply call it sensation).Now the interesting corollary of this is that, even pleasure is pain, because what is pleasure after all, it is a sensation that binds you to it with a gravity of its own. So metaphysically they both are almost the same. The difference in the case of pleasure is that, you want to be tightly bound to this pleasure object with an equal and opposite force as that of pain. In the case of pain, you wanted to desperately escape the pain object. In the case of pleasure, you want to desperately be with the pleasure object. They both are equal and opposite vectors.

As long as you are bound to the object of pleasure it is bliss, but as soon as it begins to leave, you feel a craving to be with it and that is suffering again. In the case of pain, you are repelled but helpless to move by the gravity of the pain object. In the case of pleasure, you are attracted but you are unable to access the vanished pleasure object.

In the immediate experience, pleasure is good and pain is bad.
But seen from a broader picture, pleasure is pain when the object is gone, which is inevitable.
Also, from a broader picture, pain is pleasure once the pain object is gone.
This is because pain and pleasure are relative and are verbs.

Lets start with the pain journey:
If the pain object takes you from 0 to -50, that journey from 0 to -50 is the experience of pain. Now as the pain object leaves you it takes you from -50 to 0. This journey from -50 to 0 gives you pleasure.
In the pleasure journey:
The pleasure object takes you from 0 to +50. The journey from 0 to +50 is experienced as pleasure. Then when the object leaves it takes you from +50 to 0. This journey from +50 to 0 is experienced as pain.

When it comes to intensity, pain and pleasure intensity is based on the acceleration of movement in the positive or negative direction.
Also, we can see here, that if pleasure or pain is the DELTA(change number), then all starting state numbers whether -50, 0 or +50 are equivalent, in terms of their potentials for pain or pleasure.

So in the larger picture we can say:
Both pleasure and pain torture you.
Pleasure tortures you when it leaves.
Pain tortures you when its present.

When seen in the scope of its full cycle:
You either get: Pain-Pleasure or Pleasure-Pain.
The both are equivalent.
Constant pleasure is impossible. Constant Pain is impossible.
What goes up comes down.
What goes down comes up.
The down and the up co-create each other.
This was a linear explanation.

If we go higher to the next dimension beyond time:
We see pleasure and pain are ONE object.
Just like a magnet is one object with 2 poles.

Gross pain – Gross Resistance – Physical – Solid

Subtle pain – Subtle Resistance – Mental – Water

Subtlest pain – The very subtle substance is in resistance – Spiritual – Gas

Can all 3 exist together? They can.

Infact the gross pain tends to dominate.

Grosser the pain, more the domination.

In the domination scale, it is – physical pain 1st, emotional pain 2nd, mental pain 3rd, spiritual pain 4th.

When there is great physical pain it is impossible to do anything. It demands all of your attention.

That is why hell is such a physical torture place. Hell No. 1. This pain is the most dominating.

When there is emotional pain. It is possible to do physical things with it. The emotional pain however permeates the body too. Torture in this place is the Hell No. 2. This pain is the 2nd most dominant.

When there is mental pain. It is possible to emote and physically move. But there is mental pain and it permeates into the emotional and physical. Torture in this place is Hell No. 3. This pain is the relatively less dominating.

When there is spiritual pain, it permeates all 3 areas of your life and you have this constant discomfort which nothing seems to relieve. It is all encompassing. Torture in this place is Hell No. 4. However this pain is the least dominating.

Remember the subtle pain permeates all the grosser forms (just like there is air inside all solids).

Also gross pain also pulls the subtle into it – like if you break a rock, not only does the rock break, but you would have also disturbed the air and water element in it.

So in the freedom giving scale:

(LEAST)Gross pain(Physical) ——Less Gross(Emotional)——-Subtle Pain(Mental)——- Subtlest Pain(Spiritual)(GREATEST)

Gross pains dominate all of your attention and preclude you from freedom in the other bodies – emotional, mental, spiritual.

The subtlest pain on the other hand gives you a lot of freedom in all its grosser bodies (physical, emotional, mental) however absolutely nothing relieves this pain. For example if you are in the spiritual pain of the dark night of the soul, you can do whatever you want – physically(go running), emotionally(watch movies) or mentally(read concepts) and so on. But nothing will seem to relieve that pain which is constantly simmering subtley across the entire background.

Lets see examples of each to understand:

1. Physical Pain – spasm in the upper back, muscle cramp

2. Emotional Pain – Depression, Sadness

3. Mental Pain – Struggling with understanding certain concepts, struggles with clarity of thought

4. Spiritual Pain – Dark night of the soul.

Today I was pondering on intuition.
The joy I feel when reading/video watching the 100000s of works – is the confirmation of my intuition.
Everything I have read, watched and heard with my will and interest has been a confirmation of my intuition.
This is the joy of confirmation of intuition.
In a way I can say all real learning that makes an impact is the confirmation of intuition. And it is this intuition that matures as it is fed by knowledge, just like a child eventually turns into an adult, physically. In the invisible space, the intuition grows into expansive maturity reaching trans-personal levels.
That is why when a person reads spiritual texts and say his intuition does not confirm its value, then he simply does not give much heed to it. This is because the spiritual text did not appeal to his intuition strongly. He may have other beliefs, other world models and so on in which there is still a lot of passion and investment.
It is only after a substantial level of soul maturity, the intuition develops and expands enough to understand the ABSTRACT and its significance.

The maturity of intuition appears to tie in great with the concept of soul age (Infant soul, child soul, youth soul, mature soul, old soul).

This explains how “old souls”, before the age of 30, acquire vast and abstract knowledge rapidly. They simply rapidly seek more and more knowledge, and the knowledge they seek out of interest, constantly validates, refines and confirms their intuition. Intuition itself can grow but that is a much slower process.