Journey to the Abstract

When living in full awareness, everything is in a smooth waxing and waning.
Its like everything everywhere is breathing, pulsing and vibrating.
Its like the much subtler/finer/higher density version of the LSD or mushroom experience of having the entire surroundings breathe with you.The gif below illustrates well what the reality flow looks like:

In such an state of being, nothing is ever sudden.
Everything(all experience) smoothly flows into existence, like an in-breath and then flows out smoothly like an outbreath.
Another great visual below for imagining the breath of life and death:

Just as every frame of a movie is complete/valid/existant, every moment of experience is complete.
We move/slide/morph/transform from one complete frame to the next at every moment.
Since each frame is infinite in its nature(like an analog signal), we can say each frame is an infinite universe, and we are moving from one parallel infinite universe to another.
Analog signal = Nature of reality = Territory = Right Brain (symbolic)
Digital signal = Nature of mind = conceptualization = Map = Left Brain (symbolic)
Transcendence is to wholly encompass and go beyond both of the above.

Desire and fear seize and contract consciousness.
Even a desire to change the bad will imply contraction of consciousness around the bad.
Desire and fear go together too. Like 2 sides of a coin.
When one is there it’s complement is always equally present too.
Good desire or bad desire – both are personal – both cause a contraction of consciousness.
The truth/reality however transcends this.
Truth simply IS.

All suffering seems to come down to – Availability/Capability of energy to do what you are expected/supposed to do, in your situation.
– There are varying degrees of how much you can satisfy expectation.
– And then there is the threat of not satisfying it. Greater the threat, more the suffering. The threat might be from a probability of loss.
– So all personal reality desires/fears is in “resistance” or “potential resistance” with God reality and its movement. Union with ‘What IS’ is the only solution.
– God’s reality is unknowable, so the only way to live in it is to BE the moment, and embodying/living as the unknown/mystery itself.
– To live with any knowing, is to live with an anchor, and that would not be in line with the underlying mystery reality.
– Ultimately, the “person” does exist in darkness. Illumination removes/dissolves “personhood”.
– Because ultimately personhood represents desire. Desire comes with its concomitant of fear as part of the same coin. And desire is a contraction of consciousness, just as fear is.
– So personhood is a sort of tunnel vision, missing the larger picture, missing the point. Personhood can only exist in ignorance and light will fade personhood away. More the light, less the personhood.
– When there is maximum light, there is only infinite potential unfolding in a mystery.

When a person is dissociated, they are totally desensitized, its as if that dimension of themselves is dead and sacrificed for others.
There is no ‘real heart, desire, will’ behind the actions of their dissociated parts.
If people has dissociated from their body completely, like say girls in massage parlors, strip clubs, they may as well be looked at as bodies made of rubber.
In such places, they also have a pretend fake personality intended to lure you.
Even that personality is just deadness, plasticness.
It is not a personality they uphold from real love, or their true desire/will.
They use their body and personality as a means to an end. Its like the real person is somewhere hidden inside, using a joystick to control a rubber body and to portray a certain personality.
Deadness = Uncreativity. That is one easy way to identify if spirit is infused into something or not. Which is why a lot of times, you will find them highly predictable and robotic-ish.
If spirit is infused in something, that thing would be alive, ALIVENESS = CREATIVITY.
The body is not alive when it is dissociated from.
The issue with people who are dissociated like this, is that, they will be totally un-compassionate and unrealistic with their dissociated parts and they may potentially program others too under their care, to take on this burden and deal with it the same way, by disowning.
Because once a part is dissociated from, its as good as disowned or dead.
Its like that part has no feeling, like an anesthetized arm.
You can beat anyone as hard as you want with that anesthetized arm, even get your own bones broken in that arm, because ultimately you have disowned that part completely, it is just a dead hand. You do not care what happens to it and will use it as a tool to accomplish your desire, just like one uses a hammer and does not really care if the hammer breaks.

Dissociated parents, say who are overly polite, sacrificial to others, will demand the same of their children. So the child understands the 1. EXPECTATION and 2. Dissociation as the way to deal with it. Both these things are directly osmotically taken in from the parents and then the malady reproduces itself in the child.
This I assume must be happening in the whole sex workers industry too. The EXPECTATION+DISSOCIATION must be passed on and taught from generation to generation. Each one is taught to firstly disconnect their will from their bodies (dissociate) and then surrender the body for another’s will to get money.

But if we notice carefully, what we EVER want in life is only true spirit and true will. Without these, you only get DEAD stuff. All expectations are dead. This world we are in, feels like a sort of LIVING-DEAD, where spirit lives and navigates among the dead. As children we have much more spirit and more and more of it is lost as we age.

Psychopaths are essentially severely dissociated humans, most of what you treasure is something they have completely dissociated from. It might be something that is completely disposable to them, or they may even be totally unconscious of it.

If you have a girlfriend/boyfriend, who is being overly nice and sacrificial to you, if you truly show love to him/her, interestingly he/she could possibly start to express anger, withdrawal and so on. This may be paradoxical to you, because how can they get angry when you are giving them love. Well, that is because the love that you gave them, has caused them to doubt the validity of their whole facade. It is too painful for them to accept that the personality they put so much effort into maintaining, is simply a burden and not necessary with you. So they are overcome with fear and mistrust, and think its too good to be true and therefore start to sabotage it as a test – with the fine print saying “please fail me, so that I can be convinced my old way was right”.

There is no use of bestowing great love upon a person’s dissociated parts, because he does not believe he is THAT anyway and therefore cannot receive your gifts of affection no matter how profuse it may be. So in such a case, you may have the feeling of all your affection getting drained into a black hole. That is because nothing is received. Only what is owned by spirit can receive spirit. The dead cannot receive anything. Its like intensely projecting affection to a stone statue in order to bring it to life, won’t happen. So the truth of the matter of dissociation has to be seen clearly. Find out what the person believes he is, first, because that is where his spirit resides and that is the only part of him that can receive.

We exist in many worlds simultaneously.

Sometimes the higher worlds go asleep and you are left in the lower world – which can be called spirit death.
Sometimes the lower world goes asleep and you are left in the higher world – which can be called physical death.

Higher worlds = more changing, dynamic, fluid, greater potentials, greater possibilities, more creative, greater freedom, more experience variety
Lower worlds = more rigid, more deterministic, more law based, more concrete and solid, lesser potentials, greater restrictions/constraints, limited experience variety.

Desire is the only thing that creates suffering.
Because desire mandates that “Only if you get/do/attain/possess/experience xxxxx” will I release you from my grip/preoccupation.
Happiness is simply a state where there is no desire controlling my energies manifesting as freedom and release.
Happiness is a state where the present moment is good enough that I cease trying to move away from it.
Once desire comes back it controls energies in the direction of desire which are naturally in opposition to ‘What IS’.
From the outside you can never know if a person is aligned to the divine will or not.
Effort/Struggle/Resistance is a good indicator.
Another indicator is the person’s level of joy.
The extent of the above factors can determine how far away the person is from the divine will.

But again this effort/resistance/struggle factor is relative too.
For instance, during the dark night of the soul, a person can experience profound amounts of struggle and effort, but this comes from the illumination.
Ordinary person -> Effort.
God|xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx unconscious xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx| +++++++ effort
Illuminated person -> Effort.
God|xxx unc| ++++++++++++++++ effort
The illuminated person here is putting double the effort and facing double the suffering and stress as the ordinary person.
Can you see even though the illuminated person appears to put much greater effort, he is still much closer to God’s will than the average person.

The perfection and symmetry in sacred geometry makes me relax into 0.
Perfection/Symmetry/Equilibrium in plane – 2D – Plane Sacred Geometry


Perfection/Symmetry/Equilibrium in space – 3D – 3-D Sacred Geometry


Perfection/Symmetry/Equilibrium in time – 4D – Rhythmic cyclical motions


Perfection/Symmetry/Equilibrium in probability – 5D(abstract algorithms) – Fractals

Ultimately if we go deep into our hearts, “this” is exactly what we want.
All of manifestation is our desire.
All of existence is our desire.
If anything exists we desire it to exist.
We are god with the desire to play and live as this separate self(human) and experience life exactly the way we are experiencing it right now.
Life itself as a phenomenon is our own desire.
If we did not desire it, it would not be this way.
What we are holding on to is exactly what we want.
If it is something we really didn’t want, it would have instantly disappeared and changed to what we want.
The force that upholds all of existence is our desire.
Our essence is existence.
Another way to put it is, all existence is our essence.
If anything exists, it has to be part of us and our own desire.
And all the content that is existing is our desire.
Our own desire makes our essence take the form of what we desire (this world, our situation etc.)

I can use desire interchangeably with love. Desire = Love.
I can say, all of existence is the way it is, because we love it, our love is what upholds existence itself.
If we did not love it, existence would instantly stop existing.
We suffer because we love it, we love pain, we love all of the things we hate, we love to hate it.
We love our anxieties, tensions, negative emotions, turmoils, fears.
That is the reason they exist at all, if we did not love them, they would not receive life from us and cannot exist at all.
All of existence is upheld by desire/love.
Look around, what we see/feel/hear/think is exactly the way we want it.
If we did not want this, that means, we love to “Not want this”, we love to struggle against it.
When we stop loving to struggle, we will shift our love to peace, then our essence will take the form of peace.
But again, it is possible that we love to long for peace, but we do not love to actually get it, because the journey is more fun that way right?
Longing is fun too, and a lot of things, we purposely deny ourselves so that we can long for them.
So even that is the love of longing.
We can have love for depression and sadness too, which is why it even exists.
Another way to put it “Only what we love can exist”
So if something exists, it means we love it.

There is no point in manipulating anyone to like you.
Those who will, WILL like you.
Those who will not, WILL NOT.
If I pretend and get someone to like me, then even if they do – they are not liking me, but liking my act.
Ultimately I will reveal my true self because that is the reason I did the act itself.
How long can I carry the burden of the act which is nothing but liability?
My true desire sits along in the cave behind the act anyway.
When I do reveal my truth, this is the part that is already written – about whether of not they WILL like me (which is already written in stone).
So all ‘acting’ is just postponement.
Instead it is wiser to just BE THE TRUTH, and let what comes ‘the like or dislike’ come which is anyways already written in stone/programmed.
At least you are avoiding getting in your way and creating deceptions and therefore creating the postponement of knowing what is the truth anyway.