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Cycles of sexual potentials

Sexualized images -> mobilize pleasure -> and modify all behavior towards the procurement of that pleasure.
However, the sexualization capacity is directly related to the sex hormone – testosterone.
The cycles of testosterone circling determine the cycles of sexualization/pleasure capacity from previously sexualized images (carry a momentum).
Once sexualization feeling-image combinations are tapped into -> there is a pressure created in the system to release -> and when desire gets aligned to that, it carries a momentum with it and pulls the emotions and mind towards its fulfillment/release.
This pressure to release sexual feelings, as it builds up each time from the testosterone cycle is the prison.
The prison is of the modification of behavior (thought and emotion) for its purposes in cycles.
Its not completely imprisoning since it creates a compelling potential for a pleasure peak, but then there is a tendency to give-in to it.
What could be wrong with giving in, to a natural pleasure that gives you a cycle (opportunity/potential) or 2 a day?
Another angle here is the whole dopamine-prolactin cycle created. Each time you peak in dopamine when an orgasm happens, it is followed by a period of relaxation and total lack of desire for any more sexual activity.
Interestingly the sexual activities literally almost get disgusting in this prolactin phase.
Studying this illuminates its illusion which is quite interesting. How can something that was so desirable just minutes ago, seem so uninteresting and disgusting just after orgasm. There is just total disinterest for the very same object.
It is so dis-interesting, you immediately put it out of your consciousness and pursue something else.
Being unconscious of something shows the extent of disinterest.
You are so disinterested, that you literally want to take your mind completely off it, only to repeat it again the next day with the same intensity.
The inference I have come to from observing 1000s of such cycles is that, the nature of all sexual activity is EMPTY.
It is just like a short acting natural drug like cocaine which gives a rush of pursuit/focus -> peak/orgasm -> release/relaxation/satisfaction/afterglow.
The mechanism seems to be the same.
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The force of emotions

People’s emotions communicate a FORCE of what you should or should not do, even if the content does not explicitly mention anything.
Infact the emotion is the actual force. The force from content itself is only purely intellectual.
The motivation/driving/behavior center in a human is largely emotionally controlled only.
Emotional control will feel much more overbearing and heavy than pure intellectual control.
That is why emotionally histrionic and crazy mothers, can wreak havoc to the child’s behavior system.
It recreates the same chaos in the recipient and the recipient will feel like he/she is walking in a stormy unpredictable wind.
It also recreates a PTSD like phenomenon, where your body responds with extreme defense to “seemingly ordinary statements” which serve as triggers.
This undue reaction comes from the fear of being overwhelmed totally and controlled, and the extreme resistance you had to put up when you were young (without suitable knowledge and experience to frame these emotional demands).
That stays in the operating system of the recipient like a PTSD, and causes him/her to live in fear (of the unpredictability of their vulnerability to control, which they overcompensate for, by throwing a counter reaction of HARDENING into themselves as a defense(causing disassociation and a great loss of awareness in those moments).
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My main practice

– Stay as the mirror mind: All is a moving reflection of the unnamable. Nothing more, nothing less.
– Surrender/Let go/Release all “formations” and “contractions” of energy. That is the only doing/undoing.
– Propriocept the subtlest sensation. Stay as silent/receptive as possible.
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Analog and Digital Reality Experience are 2 poles of the same LIFE ENERGY

The analog reality and digital reality are 2 poles of the same magnet.
Analog reality = Direct experience (What you are actually seeing through the Goggles)
Digital reality = Thoughted/thinged experience (Goggles through which you are seeing)
These 2 poles go together.
If you see a lot, you can always “thing everything” you see into a higher digital quantization.
You can experiment with various levels of digital quantization.
You can even just say: Everything is THAT, in which case the quantization number is just 1.
Else you can break it down into 1000s of levels.
Both appear together as potentials – from one energy – I could call LIFE.
LIFE gives me the freedom to see UNITY ———————–MULTIPLICITY as a spectrum and slot my experience anywhere inbetween as I please.
Just like the TRUE ———————— FALSE spectrum.
Wider the spectrum, more the joy of the TRUE side.

So how many dimensions are there? What map will you use for the territory?
Well there are millions of maps and seeing the territory through each map is a different experience too.
That’s called multiple frames.
Its quite enjoyable to traverse various frames like watching 1000s of new movies even if the characters and set are same.
So abandoning frame changing is not a solution.
Infact it is not possible to abandon it at all, you will only end up with some other fixed frame and lower consciousness (lessen change).
Instead move into GREATER change, more minute, more subtle, more inclusive/expansive/whole.
When life reaches a certain intensity, you will fall into the formless world.
All achievement is also within a frame.
So when the frame changes, the achievement becomes meaningless and void too.
Its like you have shifted to a parallel universe/world.
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“Nothing” is only a pointer

I think the bottomline is: “Nothing” cannot be given a word.
So whatever word is given, that conception becomes it.
No matter how rarified, it is still just a word and invokes just a particular formation and that “particularity” is NOT IT.
The same dilemma holds true for words like “God” or “Infinite”.
A word can only describe particulars, things, conceptions.
So words like – God, Infinite, Nothing – are only pointers and have no essence/substance/structure of their own.
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About traumatization

Traumatization is like a rigid state of unmovingly getting stuck into threat possibilities.
Its a freeze-contract response.
Until this is eased out, the energies will be stuck in that configuration and cannot move into their other states.
It cannot change until released from the traumatic freeze.
Why did I freeze in the first place? that is perfect too in response to all the circumstances you were in. It is the divine condition.
It is like, if you are put in a room full of your fear, suddenly only that would be real for you, because that possibility crystallizes into a hard reality to the exclusion of all other realities. For example, say you are put in a room full of bees, suddenly the whole outer world would vanish and only that room would become real. The same effect a horror movie has, of extreme contraction and focus.
When you are the most threatened, the most hardening/concretization of a possibility will happen.
To return to the infinite possibility space requires the dissolution of the current concretized possibility which you are holding on to.
Always ask yourself, why are you holding on to you current reality?
What is real for you right now, is exactly what you are holding on to.
It is serving you in some way to hold on to this vs. not holding on.
There is something you are trying to get from it and until you get it you will not let go back into the possibility space.
Ultimately there is only infinity, and we are the ones holding on to a finite possibility for our own deep learning/goals/desires.
When we are ready we will let go and return to higher possibility spaces.
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See your divine condition and accept it

You have to accept your divine condition.
Why am I affected by others?
Well, YOU ARE AFFECTED that’s it, that is the condition.
The extent of your impressionability, fragility, helplessness, vulnerability, and powerlessness, its all part of the divine condition.
Every atom of your experience NOW is the condition.
Deal with it. You are the condition itself.

Every loss of freedom that happens because of others, is part of the divine condition.
Again see the full condition first and then deal with it.
Ultimately there is just acceptance of the divine condition present, that’s all.

I am the entire condition itself.
That WHOLE is my full identity, not this person.
The video game condition itself is me, not just the character I am moving using WASD.
All I can do is work from seeing the whole – Harmonizing the whole.
There is no ONE correct action, a RULE or a LAW.
There is just HARMONIZING and WHOLE SEEING.
PARTIAL SEEING will inevitably result in disharmony.
The WHOLE SEEING is in itself the intelligence that leads to WHOLE ACTION.
You can only ACT from PURE INTENT.
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Energy for BEING vs DOING

Doing follows being.
First it takes energy to BE.
Then it take energy to DO from that BEING.
Being is the structure from which doing operates.
If you cannot BE, then its impossible to DO anything
Because you will have no structure from which to channel the force of doing at all
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About humiliation, despair, defeat

Humiliation/powerlessness/total defeat/despair is from the ego’s point of view.
From the enlightened point of view, it is a process of dissolution of what is false anyway, the ego.
So from the fading “false point of view” it looks like a nightmare.
But from the point of view of the TRUTH, this process is the very passage/medicine that will take you to freedom.
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About heart/soul(symbolic) as the attunement instrument

All attunement happens from the heart.
The brain is then just an awesome instrument available in the attunement that the heart has chosen.
To take different perspectives, different points of view, see through different consciousness locuses/lenses, to tune into different worlds by altering frequency = done by heart/soul.
My primary ability is to take ‘different points of view’ and tune into multiple worlds and perspectives.
Perspective of a bird, insect, every creature/being, earth, celestial bodies – sun, planets, moons, and so on.
Each is a “unique and infinite” point of view.
Each is a realm, a world.
In my entire life, I have shifted tuning to millions of such worlds/realm.
What I see is that each point of view is an INFINITY.
I’m only moving from infinity to infinity.
My deepest knowledge from navigating all the worlds is in the relativity/validity/infinity/wonder of all worlds.
Any judgment I hold is transitory because the judgment is simply the output of energy channeled through a frame/orientation of mind. But what if each frame that the heart tunes to is an entire infinite realm. We are all only cosmic grand navigators, and the situation in the world is where people have concretized their imagination and have forgotten the real nature of their condition.
But yea, maybe this dream of limitation/concretization of perspective, and full conviction in an objective world has its place, its wonder too.
I feel like I’m the true traveler.
My intellect is just a powerful celebrator and instrument that illuminates whatever worlds my heart/soul chooses to tune into.
This is a game of hide and seek, a game of remembering and forgetting.
We are the supreme being itself, representing the greatest wonder and riches.