Category: Uncategorized

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Change/Impermance is beauty itself

Change/Impermanence is whats beautiful. It is life itself. Dazzling, glitter, shimmer, radiance, vibrance, dance – all of these commonly used words represent vibration, movement or change. Heaven is a place where your entire being is vibrating in high frequency (ecstasy). All awareness itself is by contrasts. Like a music where the flow itself creates meaning. All sensation, change in field of consciousness and changes in attention focus all flow like music. Life is this endless dance. More the contrasts, more the awareness.

“From the Absolute to the Relative-from the Infinite to the Finite-from the Undifferentiated to the Differentiated-from the Unconditioned to the Conditioned and again from the Relative to the Absolute. That is the whole truth of the inexistance to the existentialist, formless to the form, Creator to the Creature, one to the every being, absolute to the inabsolute and vis-á-vis, so forth every single thing is temporary, non-existed, so do I, the dream that I dreamed off is simply a ‘lie and impermanent too’ same as in the mortal world whatever I do experience.”
― Upanishad

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Habits/Karma/Consciousness

You are harnessing every moment and building momentum of choices. Creates habits which becomes automatic and loses consciousness. What you see everywhere is various momentums. Everywhere there is creation in different amounts and the seeds of all kinds of creation exists in the present moment in pure potentiality. A single minded focused man can build most momentum in a specific direction and you see a giant in that area. But even that falls away on death. So there are all these things popping in and out of existence at higher and higher frequencies the finer you look and ‘THERE IS ONLY THAT’. Infinite variety arising (living) and passing (dying), OR going in and out of existence. When we see a gestalt ordered pattern, we term it life. There is also the vertical dimension of the observer. At the smallest height the observer sees a proton as alive and at the largest sees the whole universe as one organism. In-between there are various levels and at a particular vertical height we have this view of living/non-living as defined in our conventional society.

Removing solidity from awareness is moving into subtler and subtler faster vibrating objects until you reach the objectless/formless from which ‘Form’ can be seen arising/passing at its absolute level of granularity.

We invest in patterns at every moment. All our habits operate unconsciously perpetuating our experiences in reality or we see our life moving in certain directions. We unconsciously invest in the same things at every moment and simply make the patterns/tendencies stronger. Freedom is freedom from all habit and tendencies and having absolute power over creation. Habits are the accumulation of our previous patterns. Karma is basically habit. The continuation and perpetuation of patterns. For example: Each time you give energy to getting anxious, worried, stress, frustrated, paranoid, scared etc. you are only fortifying, strengthening, reinforcing, empowering, further habituating those tendencies. You in essence are the entire energy of this universe. Every SINGLE aspect of your reality is a specific modification of this universal energy. This includes every single world view, belief, ideas about existence, who you are etc. EVERYTHING. At a low level of consciousness, all your tendencies, deeper patterns and beliefs about reality are invisible to you and operate right under your nose but you cannot see them. So you end up thinking you are a victim or a puppet being pushed around. It is not really ‘other people’ who push you around. It is karma itself or the force of habits that give you the same things again and again. The only way out is to elevate consciousness itself and empower yourself.

In zazen meditation, they stare at a blank wall and simply remove ‘All the mental conditions’ that cause stress and anxiety resulting in a complete elimination of the same. Even the jhana ecstasy is based on the cultivation of factors – concentration, equanimity. When these factors are cultivated to a high enough degree, it results in ecstasy. What are the conditions causing your reality? Especially, what are your mental habits, projections, tendencies, and drives creating your reality at this moment?

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Pressure to stick to a group, company, or career

There is pressure from society to construct an identity. Depending on what identity you construct, you accordingly get experiences. I find this a very difficult choice. Changing identity is not easy. Investments accumulate over whatever identity you choose. Just like, if you were a nomad, you should let go of a lot of things before you decide to move – changing identity would involve losing all your accumulations/investments to the extent to which you change. People try to further their own identity by making more and more connections having the same social mimes, which leads to the formation of groups. If you want to change the group, then in the changed group suddenly all the stuff you had previously would become irrelevant. Kind of like, if one group was totally into bitching, gossiping and trivial social information and another one discussed philosophy and abstract ideas, they are quite incompatible. So the skills you acquired in your previous group cannot be used here much. Another analogy would be, if I worked as a carpenter for many years and then I suddenly want to switch to being an electrician then there would be little transferable parts. The same issue occurs in marriage, it’s a contract with accumulating investment over time. If you suddenly decide to break out of it, all the relationship investment collapses. Switching a career would also mean losing a lot of your investment like the carpenter-electrician example. There are transferable skills but a drastic switch could leave very little commonality. If you decide to leave your company, again all the internal knowledge, processes and the relationships you acquired in the company would be lost. Certain patterns could be metaphorically applied in other companies too, but this would be an abstract learning for the most of it. Basically, you would have to start all over again in the new company with the abstract learning from the previous company experience.

This is the dilemma of an explorer.  There is a force trying to make us move towards investments, security and consolidation and there is another counter force which aims at diversity of experience and seeks exploration. If I take my personal case, I have moved in and out of so many groups, so many social mimes, so many intellectual ideas, concepts, fantasies and experiments. But at a given time, my mental state is in a specific configuration and I can only access a very tiny fraction of all that’s there in my experiential memory. When I go into totally new groups, I am suddenly returned to square one. There is no investment, they don’t know me or trust me, and carry a very rudimentary image of me. The passing away of all that I experience makes it easier for me to understand of all this as an illusion and the emptiness of my essence. But the entire societal/cultural layer we have over reality works in exactly in the opposite direction by language and a conceptual layer where things exist inherently in and off themselves. What do you tend to choose: investment or free exploration?
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Thoughts about gradients of awareness

From a first person perspective:

“Once I reach very fine levels I can see that I can switch awareness in and out at will with extremely minimal disturbance. It’s like everything would be as it is but I would be present in one moment and in the other I would not be there. It’s like breathing. I must work towards consciously breathing without altering anything from the unconscious which was going on moments before. Another thing I have noticed is that I can feel the effort of my eye focus muscles and some movement of my consciousness in the middle of my brows which brings me back to the physical reality. To move into non-physical realms I have to learn to leave these entirely relaxed with no disturbance but still pop in my awareness.
Another interesting thing is when I am not there it’s not that I am totally absent like sleep. What we call mechanical or automatic is a blurry faintly aware state nevertheless. By definition when you are NOT aware, there is NOTHING and you absolutely would not know/cognize it. An example of a fainter abstract awareness would know that you had a dream when you woke up but remembering nothing from it. That means there was some faint awareness of the fact that there was a dream vs. nothing. 
Maybe it is like if you have a 1mp photo, you can see all the buildings windows etc. of the scene. But if the picture has only 200 pixels, then it would look blocky and you would not be able to recognize anything but yet roughly figure out it may have buildings. So maybe the 1mp is like advanced awareness and recording of dreams and the 200 pixels is just ‘knowing’ you dreamt.
Also, an interesting part is what is recorded to memory or what is not? What is the threshold of awareness detail required for memory recording? The most perplexing thing is I can recognize someone very easily but not be able to draw their face/or recognize a place but not recall any details of it/recognition of a song that you heard it in xyz place etc. That means only recognition without reproduction is also another ‘dim awareness vs. advanced awareness’.”
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Freshening up of perception

Freshening of perception is the best thing in the world. Sleep does it. So does advanced meditation.

Complete withdrawal from something potentiates it. Like how sleep potentiates waking.
So complete withdrawal from everything should potentiate everything. Deep sleep does exactly that. Everything needs to smoothly flow in its cycles. A repressed part creates a desire. But, all desires are non-substantial by themselves like pressure difference creates a hurricane. The hurricane is non-substantial, it is simply at outcome of movement in other invisible forces. When everything is in perfect flow, there is nothing to do or achieve besides just being and free falling.
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Mirrors, Reflections and the Real You

Mirrors!!! Each person is like an amusement park mirror. These mirrors represent me in all kinds of funny ways – some show me as fat, ugly, beautiful, with a big face, short etc. I cannot look at myself, just as an eye cannot see itself or a fire cannot burn itself. So I try to judge who I am from these reflections shown to me. I record these reflections in memory during early childhood. The recorded reflections then became ‘ME’. Later I begin to pursue only those mirrors that show me these recorded reflections. If my early life reflections were good and if people accepted me well, I would believe ‘I am a loved individual’ if not, I would form a negative image about myself.

Seems logical right, if you didn’t know how you’re back looked and if did not have a mirror, what would you do? Ask 100’s of people right and then try to form some concept of how you’re back looked? But here again, there is an unquestioned core belief. How do you know if others can see your real back or what they really see when they look at your back? How do you know if they are seeing the real thing or just telling you something they see as part of their own imagination? Why do you believe them? Because everyone else does? How does everyone else doing something make it true? How can you assume that they are seeing ‘Your Real Back’? Another belief here would be of assuming the back is a static unchanging entity. Why should the back be static? What if it completely transforms all the time? Yet another belief here would be ‘why is what you call your back ‘YOURS’’? What does it mean to own/possess something? Just because you can control it? Does it mean anything you control is you? In that case why is your car not you? Is it because, you disappear when the body dies, but you do not die when the car is destroyed? Do you call your body ‘YOURS’ because it makes YOUR perception possible, and without it there is no perception? The instrument that makes perception possible is not YOU. The belief in this case is thinking that the instrument of perception is YOU instead of YOU being separate from the instrument. There is another belief too, how do you know what happens after death. The only thing that you can know is that it is unknowable. Why are we so afraid of the unknown? Is death the problem or ‘fear of death/unknown’ the problem?
What if ‘YOU’ were nothing? What if ‘YOU’ were totally independent from what the mirrors were reflecting and that ‘YOU’ does not exist at all? ‘YOU’ only exist in your memory of recorded reflections from various people. But what is memory? Isn’t it just a fraction of a fraction of your recorded experience? It is a story like any other story book. There is no reality to the past beyond what you choose/believe to give it. 
‘You’ being nothing simultaneously implies you are ‘all experience happening at this moment’. You are everything that is happening/the entire universe. We are surprised why different people think different things about us. Some think we are very nice. Some praise us for being intelligent. Some consider us to be dumb, average. Some admire various qualities. Some find endless faults in us. Well which of these reflections is the REAL thing? None of it is true, because there is no ‘ME’ in true reality beyond my belief that my early childhood reflections from other people represent me.
The blueprint of what we carry around as identity is basically a memory of certain experiences tagged with ‘ME’ and preserved. The rest of the experiences are tagged with ‘OTHER’ and discarded. Just like how we look into the refrigerator and tag items as ‘GOOD’ or ‘SPOILT’ and throw the spoilt into the trash. What we call our identity is actually a burden in a way. It is our accumulation of certain memories based on the belief that ‘THIS IS ME’ usually given by parents and early childhood influence.
In life, as we age, we try to further this accumulation. In truth there is no need to remember/collect anything. There is no life story, there is no past. It’s interesting to note that our memory starts working only after we have formed our ‘I’ concept from other people’s reflections (parents, siblings) at the average age of 3-4. The amount of information entering is infinite, so formation of this identity based on reflections simplifies things. Once simplified the brain can start storing small parts of experiences based on this ‘PRIMITIVE I’ formed. Have you noticed we store things in memory only when it’s related to the ‘I’ in some way. Otherwise what is the need? If a stranger tells you a long story, why would you store it in memory unless it’s related to something you desire? The formation of identity is for simplification and convenience sake. But a convenience is not reality. An analogy would be drawing a moon on paper and calling it ‘the moon’ for convenience. But it is not the real moon.
What every person thinks about you in this earth at all times is ‘YOU’ and you are much more than that too. YOU are everything that has ever existed and that can ever be conceived. There is nothing outside of you.
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Gravity, Law of attraction – expansion and contraction

If entropy is continuously increasing – if this is a basic law – then functions such as holding on to memory, habits, beliefs would use up much more energy – like dough is a much more ordered form but so much of heat energy is required to make it.

Maybe law of gravity is law of attraction. Gravity is the reason solids exist bringing together particles. Gravity may be creating weight. Gravity may be creating personality.
Consciousness is space where everything exists in it. Realizing this and giving up ones ego for unlimited vast space is like collapsing gravity of personality. Now this is a confusing part. If the personality is collapsed, why would have any attractive force powers? Wouldn’t that make you a pure nobody? But surprisingly a lot of people of this sort have reported to be very attractive to everyone around. Maybe this collapse has a duality in it. They are either nobody or they become an incredible attractive force.
Maybe even emotions like love and inclusion feel like expansion while fear, repression is a contracting emotion. Is our natural nature to simply be in tune with the most basic law of the universe to expand forever. So holding on to anything is consuming lot of energy. At the most basic level we hold on to our personality with all its beliefs. Maybe holding on to this sense of I is a contraction. Are we overcoming this by acquiring more and more material possessions and emotional ties with other people? Maybe this explains our social desire. Our need for increasing learning. We want to continually keep expanding in everything. Romantic interest allows us to do this at a much more intimate level.
Does this also explain why our evolution is pushing us to connect with everyone else? For example the internet for sharing experiences and knowledge in the best way we know until now – media channels.
What is music in that case? Isn’t it a manifestation of order? Isn’t beauty a combination of unity – harmony and variety – diversity, Also how does it satisfy layers of order and disorder in reality?
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Love as a trophy vs love like air

Imagine you’re really attracted to someone and have all kinds of experiences with them, the implicit agreement is that you would store the memories with me in a special place in your mind and cherish them like trophies. If you are always in the present moment, there is no trophy, you are not in this game anymore, your love is everywhere like air and there are no special places or preferences, there is no selection. This goes against typical romantic love and pursuits where there is a very distinct selection.

A non-selective choice less awareness is like air, everywhere uniformly present while our conventional love definition is more like a solid object we treasure like a trophy. So a person in this state does not have a personality as an object, it’s like air or water, infinitely modifiable, not even like clay which has some limitations. So in the personality dimension when all the solids are trying to find a way to fit into each other, the air just fits in anywhere and resides in a large space.
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Non-duality, attachment, euphorigens

No experience is me. No experience is needed for me to be complete. I would be complete and in absolute bliss in a non-experience state. It is the deepest rest and the profoundest peace possible. Craving for a certain experience is like getting a taste of a sweet when you’re extremely hungry and the craving is to completely indulge yourself in it. Certain thoughts are super potent. They create a brief taste of the euphorigens and then the craving starts for the same. This also gives me more empathy towards drug addicts. When your stomach is fully satisfied, you wouldn’t feel like eating the sweet. But in this case, the craving for experience (variety, intensity, harmony, beauty, purity etc.) is a hunger that one has to understand more deeply.

The euphoric state feels excellent but it is continuously present for too long then it becomes a baseline and loses significance, also since there is nothing to compare it against.
There are many ways to control this. I think there is a very deep inherent unfulfillment that persists no matter what experience is triggered. This can be observed by mindfulness. Mindfullness is totally needed for satisfaction of any sort because, what is the use of being happy if you do not know you are!
Eating a perfectly sattvic diet will reduce the number of euphorigens and therefore all cravings. With this the pure mindfulness quality can be stronger. Yogic asanas and pranayama can also similarly reduce cravings quite a lot.
I am simply attached and drawn to certain mental states of mind. It happens in the mental plane. I am different from others because of the mental states I am attached to. Compared to an ordinary person, my mental life is richer by a factor of atleast 100. Even physical objects are ultimate a spiraling of thought on matter. So in a way, everything is mental and your life is absolutely rich, if your conditioning is almost nil the whole mental space is your oyster for play. Beyond this freedom is the ultimate freedom of realizing your self which is the ultimate observer, a plane even above the mental space. That would be freedom from all action and change.
I am attached to certain perspectives, thoughts and ways of seeing things since on examination they give the best combination of freedom and reward. Is there really a higher and lower perspective? Each perspective is an optimizing equation. But what is the equation optimizing? What is the sample space of this optimization? I guess that would be the entire mental continuum. So we are basically selecting some experiences over others. What if we just rise off the entire mental continuum like stepping out of the dimension, allow our brightness to shine completely and then look at all experience as equal and simply as members of the mental dimension?
The transition would be like, if you visited another planet and stayed there alone long enough with aliens then all humans would look alike to you. This would be in stark contrast to the distinctions we make on earth such as good, bad, ugly, beautiful, man, woman etc. So does moving to the non-dual state essentially mean stepping out of the entire experience continuum? Is this what they call emptiness or nothingness!
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Contemplation on why society exists

It seems like all minds are the same and each mind contains the whole of all experience. Just that each is in a different configuration optimizing certain variables. Each mind is a subjective bubble and isolated at least as of my perception. Different minds manifest different amounts in this physical plane. What is a doctor, engineer etc. without any social context? It is a specialization in a particular thought form. Society mostly favors specialization and works on ‘mutual trust’ that others are doing their specializations respectively. The trust factor is so important here.

Why is the current system not agreeable? economic inequality, concentration of power with the elite, exploitation of the working class, corporations manipulation, work slavery, rigidity, suppression, social manners, conventions, excessive consumerism at the cost of the planet, myopic compulsive thinking to just reach target after target, encouragement of addictive forms such as work holism,  etc. Society is the synthetic collective mind entity and the fact that it is running shows that people are actually happy with it. Awareness and beliefs are the main factors here. What will you do if you totally believed that the government was god’s order? What if each human being was made completely aware of everything? How would the world be? Is this deliberately part of the design so that these cycles can go on? Human emotion expressing themselves as opposing forces? Why does delusion even exist? Maybe that is also part of the duality game, the fun of waking up? the joy of finding these delusions out? the joy of correcting incorrect knowledge and organizing?. All these cycles? And we don’t know how long these cycles might last. Maybe it is kind of like the yugas in Hindu mythology lasting 1000’s of years. Maybe even delusion is an integral part of this whole cyclic game or universe of interconnected patterns.