Where is change coming from?
Feel your ‘consciousness’ and look/see where change is coming from?
From the point of view of ‘being consciousness’, what is changing the contents/scenery/appearances?
Isn’t it just causeless? All coming from nothing(no thing)?
I can even go one more level abstract.
That in truth, “nothing is changing”
The above statement can be seen in 2 ways:
1. ‘NOTHING’ as a noun/the all/the ONE/the whole field -> is -> changing
2. No-‘thing’ is changing, because all things are the same divine light
(like how the LEDs in your screen are always shining in essence and only dancing in degree of brightness causing the dance/music/play that you see on your screen as a video playing or movie.)
Also another fine differentiation I would like to make between ‘is’ and ‘IS’.
IS {The ONE is changing}
The capital ‘IS’ accommodates even the state of changing within it.
So the greatest abstraction object can be: “IS”.
Feel your ‘consciousness’ and look/see where change is coming from?
From the point of view of ‘being consciousness’, what is changing the contents/scenery/appearances?
Isn’t it just causeless? All coming from nothing(no thing)?
I can even go one more level abstract.
That in truth, “nothing is changing”
The above statement can be seen in 2 ways:
1. ‘NOTHING’ as a noun/the all/the ONE/the whole field -> is -> changing
2. No-‘thing’ is changing, because all things are the same divine light
(like how the LEDs in your screen are always shining in essence and only dancing in degree of brightness causing the dance/music/play that you see on your screen as a video playing or movie.)
Also another fine differentiation I would like to make between ‘is’ and ‘IS’.
IS {The ONE is changing}
The capital ‘IS’ accommodates even the state of changing within it.
So the greatest abstraction object can be: “IS”.
Levels of abstraction
Our identification is a hiding, origins of dissociation/depersonalization/depression
When you BE some-[thing], you merge into it
You make that [thing] your substance
Now that [thing] is invisible to you
Because YOU ARE IT
Why do we think we are unlovable, unlikeable, unworthy, ugly, bad, evil?
Because we identify with BEING that.
That is why when parents treat the child badly or neglect/abuse it, the first thing the child identifies with is “I MUST BE BAD”.
Because the ego/social-identity is basically the ‘reflection of ourselves in the other at the formative age’.
And secondly, let’s say the child had a choice, to believe it is good and it is the parents who are evil. This is unbearable for the child and it is much easier to identify with being BAD/UNWORTHY/UNLOVABLE.
So that is why I think we identify with the VERY NEGATIVE ASPECT so that WE CAN GO BLIND TO IT (Total identification with something makes us blind to it and removes it from our consciousness).
Because to not identify with it would mean to actually be conscious and witness that harming relationship which is unbearably painful and horrific.
So this is a way of going unconscious/blind to the negative relationship to make things bearable.
Such a person may become an abuser himself (fully identified with the abuser) if he feels pride in that.
But now if we add the super-ego/conscience in that judges this as contemptuous act.
Now there is a double-bind created, leading straight to depression (depression is essentially a double bind causing the freeze response).
That is why, when a person begins to come out of depression, the first thing to arise is SEVERE RAGE/HATRED/ANGER/ABUSIVE TENDENCIES.
Because this is releasing one of the facets of the double bind, making it ok to feel angry, feel hate, be abusive, be vengeful (all the previously projected qualities), and so on.
Depression is the punishment of oneself for being reprehensible/bad.
So:
1st there is an identification with being bad.
2nd there is a super-ego that imposes that being bad is horrible.
3rd Now you hate yourself and punish yourself for being bad.
4th You attract relationships that do the same to you, and so you can get a break from abusing yourself and let the external abuser do the job for you.
Even in the case of childhood abuse, often the child identifies with the abuser itself
He may directly become an abuser to others if he feels that being the abuser is the right thing.
OR there is a more complicated case that can arise in case he sees the abuser as terrible. He may also identify with the abuser, but because he also thinks that is terrible, he would project it outside to the other.
So now such a child is “other” identified, because he is identified with the abuser but cannot be that because being the abuser is terrible, so he projects this behavior to the other and LIVES VICARIOUSLY through the other.
Since he lives VICARIOUSLY through the other, it is a DISSOCIATED identification, and from THAT DISSOCIATED ABUSER point of view he views his own former self as an OBJECT/OTHER.
So his own self has become an other, and now he lives through the lens of an abusive other outside of his body.
Generally the interesting conundrum I always had was that, if one is totally dissociated from one’s self, seeing the entire self as an object of one’s awareness, then what is the real identification with? What is the one looking at the self as an object?
I figured the one which is looking at the self as object IS the [Hyper critical rejecting parent/abuser/unsupportive/hating force itself etc.]
So basically such a person is identified with an out of body abuser pov and continuously subjects himself to the same treatment that the abusers gave him.
So this causes DEPRESSION/DEPERSONALIZATION.
So such a person when alone would abuse themselves[self as object] and derive pleasure from this, or attract an external abuser and live co-dependently through them.
That is why, when in an abusive relationship which he would inevitably attract, he would FOCUS all his attention on the abusive partner who is being himself (his abusive self with pride), and hate the partner, but still stay absorbed in hating him and never having the WILL to leave the relationship.
The reason he never leaves is because of resonance with the abusive partner, who is actually his own identification, but disowned because it is seen as terrible to be that.
So compared to the child that directly identifies pridefully with being an abuser, in the latter case, it is further removed and thus the person lives in a weak victim state (because he is so far away from his power, doubly removed).
You make that [thing] your substance
Now that [thing] is invisible to you
Because YOU ARE IT
Why do we think we are unlovable, unlikeable, unworthy, ugly, bad, evil?
Because we identify with BEING that.
That is why when parents treat the child badly or neglect/abuse it, the first thing the child identifies with is “I MUST BE BAD”.
Because the ego/social-identity is basically the ‘reflection of ourselves in the other at the formative age’.
And secondly, let’s say the child had a choice, to believe it is good and it is the parents who are evil. This is unbearable for the child and it is much easier to identify with being BAD/UNWORTHY/UNLOVABLE.
So that is why I think we identify with the VERY NEGATIVE ASPECT so that WE CAN GO BLIND TO IT (Total identification with something makes us blind to it and removes it from our consciousness).
Because to not identify with it would mean to actually be conscious and witness that harming relationship which is unbearably painful and horrific.
So this is a way of going unconscious/blind to the negative relationship to make things bearable.
Such a person may become an abuser himself (fully identified with the abuser) if he feels pride in that.
But now if we add the super-ego/conscience in that judges this as contemptuous act.
Now there is a double-bind created, leading straight to depression (depression is essentially a double bind causing the freeze response).
That is why, when a person begins to come out of depression, the first thing to arise is SEVERE RAGE/HATRED/ANGER/ABUSIVE TENDENCIES.
Because this is releasing one of the facets of the double bind, making it ok to feel angry, feel hate, be abusive, be vengeful (all the previously projected qualities), and so on.
Depression is the punishment of oneself for being reprehensible/bad.
So:
1st there is an identification with being bad.
2nd there is a super-ego that imposes that being bad is horrible.
3rd Now you hate yourself and punish yourself for being bad.
4th You attract relationships that do the same to you, and so you can get a break from abusing yourself and let the external abuser do the job for you.
Even in the case of childhood abuse, often the child identifies with the abuser itself
He may directly become an abuser to others if he feels that being the abuser is the right thing.
OR there is a more complicated case that can arise in case he sees the abuser as terrible. He may also identify with the abuser, but because he also thinks that is terrible, he would project it outside to the other.
So now such a child is “other” identified, because he is identified with the abuser but cannot be that because being the abuser is terrible, so he projects this behavior to the other and LIVES VICARIOUSLY through the other.
Since he lives VICARIOUSLY through the other, it is a DISSOCIATED identification, and from THAT DISSOCIATED ABUSER point of view he views his own former self as an OBJECT/OTHER.
So his own self has become an other, and now he lives through the lens of an abusive other outside of his body.
Generally the interesting conundrum I always had was that, if one is totally dissociated from one’s self, seeing the entire self as an object of one’s awareness, then what is the real identification with? What is the one looking at the self as an object?
I figured the one which is looking at the self as object IS the [Hyper critical rejecting parent/abuser/unsupportive/hating force itself etc.]
So basically such a person is identified with an out of body abuser pov and continuously subjects himself to the same treatment that the abusers gave him.
So this causes DEPRESSION/DEPERSONALIZATION.
So such a person when alone would abuse themselves[self as object] and derive pleasure from this, or attract an external abuser and live co-dependently through them.
That is why, when in an abusive relationship which he would inevitably attract, he would FOCUS all his attention on the abusive partner who is being himself (his abusive self with pride), and hate the partner, but still stay absorbed in hating him and never having the WILL to leave the relationship.
The reason he never leaves is because of resonance with the abusive partner, who is actually his own identification, but disowned because it is seen as terrible to be that.
So compared to the child that directly identifies pridefully with being an abuser, in the latter case, it is further removed and thus the person lives in a weak victim state (because he is so far away from his power, doubly removed).
Reality as a platform for the play of duality
Let’s revisit the various forces at play.
Reality is the platform that supports all of the below force spectrums.
Like imagine each of the spectrums below to be columns in a spectrum analyzer (like the one in your stereo system).
It is in this platform that the music of reality plays.
Supporting forces ————— Opposing forces
Loving forces ——————- Hating forces
Enhancing forces —————- Thwarting forces
Constructive forces ————- Destructive/Scattering forces
Inspiring forces —————– Depressing forces
Pleasurable forces ————— Painful forces
Life forces(with memories of death) ———————— Death forces (with memories of life)
Creative forces —————- Destructive forces
Other serving forces ———– Self-serving forces
Truth telling forces ———– Deception spreading forces
Eros forces ——————– Death drive forces
Forces the synthesize/stitch ———— Forces that analyze/separate
Forces of transcendence —————– Forces of the world
White suns —————————— Black holes
Memory creating forces ———- Memory forgetting forces
Light shining forces ———— Light absorbing forces
Healing forces——————- Disease creating forces
Anti-entropy forces ————- Entropy forces
Forces of becoming ————– Forces of unbecoming
Forces of doing —————– Forces of undoing
Forces the fill you ————- Forces the empty you
Harmonizing forces ————– Disharmony forces
Ordering forces —————– Disordering forces
Reality is the platform that supports all of the below force spectrums.
Like imagine each of the spectrums below to be columns in a spectrum analyzer (like the one in your stereo system).
It is in this platform that the music of reality plays.
Supporting forces ————— Opposing forces
Loving forces ——————- Hating forces
Enhancing forces —————- Thwarting forces
Constructive forces ————- Destructive/Scattering forces
Inspiring forces —————– Depressing forces
Pleasurable forces ————— Painful forces
Life forces(with memories of death) ———————— Death forces (with memories of life)
Creative forces —————- Destructive forces
Other serving forces ———– Self-serving forces
Truth telling forces ———– Deception spreading forces
Eros forces ——————– Death drive forces
Forces the synthesize/stitch ———— Forces that analyze/separate
Forces of transcendence —————– Forces of the world
White suns —————————— Black holes
Memory creating forces ———- Memory forgetting forces
Light shining forces ———— Light absorbing forces
Healing forces——————- Disease creating forces
Anti-entropy forces ————- Entropy forces
Forces of becoming ————– Forces of unbecoming
Forces of doing —————– Forces of undoing
Forces the fill you ————- Forces the empty you
Harmonizing forces ————– Disharmony forces
Ordering forces —————– Disordering forces
The ultimate innocence looks out through every being
From the highest context, even evil is innocent, “They know not what they do”.
“I forgive the sinners, and I repent and forgive myself too for all these acts”.
I also see the innocence of it, because everyone ultimately acts from their deepest wisdom and frame of reference at that point of time.
There is no force and power greater than compassion, because it is the truth.
Compassion comes from the recognition that the other is just like me, as innocent as me. The same formless innocence does everything.
More than evil, guilt or punishment, my destructive acts were from “ignorance/blindness”.
Blind to the fact that those beings are the same as me and I could have very well been them.
They deserve no worse treatment than the way I treat my self.
All of them are god’s bodies/avatars.
To treat them badly is pure ignorance/blindness and failure to acknowledge and see the same god looking out through the other being.
It also implies identification with the form and therefore seeing all other forms as other.
It is not the same innocent formless looking out at me from the other forms?
Once your form is seen in its entirety along with the heart and psychological matrix, the eye that sees that is the [innocent formless eye], and that is the one that knows and has the gnosis that it is that same eye that looks out of every other form – be it an insect, animal, thing etc.
What could I possibly use my power for? – but to understand the other which is understanding of my own other avatars/forms?
The best thing I can do is understand how life works, the highest context, and let that play out.
My seeing of unity, makes me unconditionally work to improve/enhance life and understand it.
I do not want to exploit any ‘other’.
That is like my one hand exploiting the other hand.
The eye of the heart sees/feels RESONANCE.
Here seeing and feeling are ONE.
I will first give my self all the possible love/care/attention/nurture/guidance/affection/play/understanding/inspiration/hope and then let my being spontaneously overflow to others.
My self is the only project, and when I understand the infinity in myself, I can understand that infinity in all the others too.
Because ultimately I can contact any other only when my eyes are clear, only when my heart is clear, only when my body is clear, only when I am WELL.
Let me perfect my own instrument, and then perfectly serve from this perfected instrument.
I work on clearing my instrument.
There is no difference between the way I treat others and the way I treat myself.
The work I do on understanding myself -> will translate into the same deep level of deep understanding of others.
When I am perfect and empty -> that seeing will RESONATE with the perfect and empty in the other and I will INTERACT with them from this HIGHEST CONTEXT.
All action will be done from this HIGHEST CONTEXT and in ALIGNMENT with the highest truth.
“I forgive the sinners, and I repent and forgive myself too for all these acts”.
I also see the innocence of it, because everyone ultimately acts from their deepest wisdom and frame of reference at that point of time.
There is no force and power greater than compassion, because it is the truth.
Compassion comes from the recognition that the other is just like me, as innocent as me. The same formless innocence does everything.
More than evil, guilt or punishment, my destructive acts were from “ignorance/blindness”.
Blind to the fact that those beings are the same as me and I could have very well been them.
They deserve no worse treatment than the way I treat my self.
All of them are god’s bodies/avatars.
To treat them badly is pure ignorance/blindness and failure to acknowledge and see the same god looking out through the other being.
It also implies identification with the form and therefore seeing all other forms as other.
It is not the same innocent formless looking out at me from the other forms?
Once your form is seen in its entirety along with the heart and psychological matrix, the eye that sees that is the [innocent formless eye], and that is the one that knows and has the gnosis that it is that same eye that looks out of every other form – be it an insect, animal, thing etc.
What could I possibly use my power for? – but to understand the other which is understanding of my own other avatars/forms?
The best thing I can do is understand how life works, the highest context, and let that play out.
My seeing of unity, makes me unconditionally work to improve/enhance life and understand it.
I do not want to exploit any ‘other’.
That is like my one hand exploiting the other hand.
The eye of the heart sees/feels RESONANCE.
Here seeing and feeling are ONE.
I will first give my self all the possible love/care/attention/nurture/guidance/affection/play/understanding/inspiration/hope and then let my being spontaneously overflow to others.
My self is the only project, and when I understand the infinity in myself, I can understand that infinity in all the others too.
Because ultimately I can contact any other only when my eyes are clear, only when my heart is clear, only when my body is clear, only when I am WELL.
Let me perfect my own instrument, and then perfectly serve from this perfected instrument.
I work on clearing my instrument.
There is no difference between the way I treat others and the way I treat myself.
The work I do on understanding myself -> will translate into the same deep level of deep understanding of others.
When I am perfect and empty -> that seeing will RESONATE with the perfect and empty in the other and I will INTERACT with them from this HIGHEST CONTEXT.
All action will be done from this HIGHEST CONTEXT and in ALIGNMENT with the highest truth.
I am a ‘Light’ worker
I am a ‘LIGHT’ worker
I am the force of RISE itself.
I am the force of upliftment
I am a swirling tornado spinning upwards
I am an upward draft of wind helping kites soar higher
I am the force of transcendence
I am the force of ASCENT
I am the eagle flying straight into the sun
I am the force of ELEVATION
I am the force of transcendence
I am the vehicle that carries souls to the spirit plane
I am the bridge between:
Infinite and finite
Unknown and known
Dreams and reality
Chaos and order
Unmanifest and manifest
Inspiration and creation
Heaven and earth
Unborn and born
God and human
I am the force of RISE itself.
I am the force of upliftment
I am a swirling tornado spinning upwards
I am an upward draft of wind helping kites soar higher
I am the force of transcendence
I am the force of ASCENT
I am the eagle flying straight into the sun
I am the force of ELEVATION
I am the force of transcendence
I am the vehicle that carries souls to the spirit plane
I am the bridge between:
Infinite and finite
Unknown and known
Dreams and reality
Chaos and order
Unmanifest and manifest
Inspiration and creation
Heaven and earth
Unborn and born
God and human
Contemplations on the dark night of the soul
The background memory of the “dark night of the soul/entry into the underworld/dragon of chaos” is what will give me “enjoyment and meaning” for future good experiences?
And similarly, isn’t it so that I perceived the “dark night of the soul” itself from the memory of previously good experiences and hopes?
I see an interplay of foreground and background everywhere:
Life is life because of death in the background.
Death is death because of life in the background.
The 2 mutually need each other for their own BEING.
So the dark night of soul suffering inevitably paves the way for supreme enjoyment.
Similarly, the dark night itself showed that you have had supreme enjoyments in the past, whose loss you lament when you compare your current reality (dark night) to that of the memory you carry.
[bg = background
fg = foreground]
Dissolution process:
…DNOS (Bad memories) ongoing —–<—— Good memories bg
Resurrection process:
DNOS (Bad memories bg) ——–>—— Good memories ongoing…
Chaos bg ——>——– Order fg ongoing…
…Chaos fg ongoing ——-<——– Order bg
Death bg ——>———- Life ongoing…
Death ongoing… ——–<———- Life bg
I intuit these pendulum swings ultimately serve EVOLUTION/GROWTH/WISDOM (the pearl beyond price). This is a higher context to view one’s whole life from by a far stretch. However the HIGHEST of the HIGHEST contexts is the MYSTERY/UNKNOWN.
I can only intuit now from my level of understanding and knowledge.
Also the experiences are holographic/total/analogy/singular, in the NOW. This NOW also contains the [MEMORY->EXPECTATION] FRAMES/LENSES which “condition/shape/structure” perception accordingly.
They may also contain high flavors of paradoxical “presence of absence/presence of loss” which is essentially the witnessing of dissolution/death-process/decathection-process of a certain energy structure = we term as GRIEF.
Grief is the chaos that ensues when a structure is lost, and a hole is created which has to be restitched and re-synthesized with the WHOLE.
Generally for people, ordinary loss is like ONE hole of chaos in their fabric of reality.
But in the dark night of soul, it is the chaos underneath that swallows the entire fabric into itself -> and from that a new much larger structure would potentially emerge.
To give an analogy:
Ordinary losses are like being bitten by a animal, i.e. a small hole of chaos in a large body of order.
You attend to you wound, nurse it and it heals.
The dark night of soul is on the other hand is like a TOTAL loss, like being eaten alive completely by a t-rex, the old you is completely dissolved and after a period of transformation you open your new eyes as the t-rex once your energy is distilled/extracted/integrated into its structure.
It is the ultimate breakdown and the ultimate resurrection.
That is why the masters have always said ->
Deeper the dark night, greater the inquiry = greater the resurrection/greater the upliftment.
The lower you go -> The higher you rise.
The darker the night -> The brighter the day.
The law is illumination by contrast.
The other principles I see that apply are: Alchemy/Sublimation.
How far you are willing and travel into chaos? -> That will be how far of an increase in the deepest order you will experience.
Realize your source and live from there
My ego is mostly about – detect threat -> ward off threat
If there is no immediate threat around me, I try to foresee threats and start preparing for them.
What is fear?
Fear of being attacked.
The anticipation of being attacked.
Now I fear everyone and everything.
This fear forms the bricks of my heart prison.
As I remove each brick, I see each corresponding fear.
And I can see huge common clouds of increasing size.
Which means all these fears are coming from a “common large archetypal threat” whose class spawns the “individual instances of people/insects/situations” whatever they may be.
There is a hierarchy I perceive here too – from literal to the abstract.
Archetype is the class -> whose influence is carried by the beings who serve as its agents.
So I feel and make friends with the archetype itself or ask for forgiveness/contemplate on it, and live through whatever message that has for me, and I feel that dissolves the nexus of the multifarious threats coming from it.
All resolutions happen in the deep archetypal realms I feel.
The general context of our lives only reflects the larger puppeteers’ actions of moving the strings of the many characters and situations.
Fear and control go together.
Someone can control you, only once they install fear in you.
I thought – Create the correct environment in your psyche, use the correct deterrents and defenses to repel all parasitic beings.
Just like how one can keep one’s backyard clean – avoid wasp nests etc. – by planting repelling plants, coating with soap water solutions, and adding decoys, and so on.
Let the predator go about his business and leave you alone to do yours.
I think the purpose of the predator from my pov is to learn to transcend and protect myself from it – it’s a game.
Add beautiful repellents in your backyard (metaphor) -> and when there is a will there is a way -> there are so many things waiting for me to adopt them and cleanse myself of all the predators inside -> be it subtle ones like viruses in my gut and body, or overt ones like painful people around me.
I however see another issue, that my action will simply send the predator to someone else.
So should I be the great one, and withstand the predator, to save someone else?
That doesnt make sense in the larger picture – that looks like martyrdom, and it doesnt serve anything.
Others are tough enough, the creator upholds them, not me.
I am not responsible for protecting others from the TRUTH – that the world has both light and dark forces, and creation and destruction forces.
Such a protection harms them rather than help them.
They are going to live in dependence and fear anyway.
My responsibility is to affix myself with my own oxygen mask first.
This will allow me to overflow with power.
Then I can stand as an example as to how to be stand on your own feet, with vitality, with your own strength and knowledge, having conquered all your parasites/shadows/destructive, impairing, disabling, fears, and forces.
My service is my living example and exposition to others.
My being and commitment to abide with god/truth is my service.
Now there are some philosophical questions here.
Is the predator bad? —————- Is the exterminator bad?
Is the virus bad? ——————- Is the anti-virus bad?
Is action bad? ———————- Is re-action bad?
Is attack bad? ———————- Is defense bad?
This is like the chicken and egg problem.
It is cyclic.
What comes first?
Because the issue is that -> If I take the position of the “predator/virus/action/attack” -> It sees the opposite force “exterminator/anti-virus/re-action/defense” as the enemy.
If I take the position of the self-sufficient one -> then the enemy is these parasites who live dependent lives by hunting/attacking others.
So it is war of forces of desire/force.
Light desires/forces ———– Dark desires/forces
The linearity is only in the mind’s conception, in reality it all happens now instantaneously.
We have to take a position that transcends morality.
Because in the duality there are both:
life enhancing forces/intrinsic power ——— life diminishing forces/parasitic power
First I have to realize my own polarization.
I definitely identify and feel intrinsic life enhancement as the core in me.
All actions that I do, serve this.
So my task is to simply be more of my own true desire and let all my actions reflect who I am.
In other words, I “BE” THE CHARACTER I am meant to be and play the “God’s will role” fully.
Every fear is a call to toughen up/see/understand/conquer/master.
Develop and nurture your force until it rises above everything.
The enneagrams, myers briggs type, archetype identification, numerology, astrology – star signs etc. all serve in finding your source/power in the field.
These maps may initially serve as a guide to orient and triangulate your true position.
One has to FEEL one’s way through resonance.
RESONANCE is the compass.
It is all in FEELING your way through.
Each person’s “source/home position” is different, and that source position is their source of spirit.
When operating from there you are operating from what the creator intended you to be vs. this strange disconnected ego pov we find ourselves as which feeds from the source from afar, like faint moonlight.
Move towards your source, and journey into the dark night until you find it.
Find the “infinite power point” within yourself and then live from there as an example to show ‘WHAT POSSIBILITY EXISTS for each person”.
I want to be in alignment with the highest truth/highest will/highest vision/highest context – call it truth/love/god etc. that is secondary to me.
I want to dissolve all creation and BE the unmanifest/the highest solvent and live from there in absolute freedom.
Find the sun within you, and live from there.
If there is no immediate threat around me, I try to foresee threats and start preparing for them.
What is fear?
Fear of being attacked.
The anticipation of being attacked.
Now I fear everyone and everything.
This fear forms the bricks of my heart prison.
As I remove each brick, I see each corresponding fear.
And I can see huge common clouds of increasing size.
Which means all these fears are coming from a “common large archetypal threat” whose class spawns the “individual instances of people/insects/situations” whatever they may be.
There is a hierarchy I perceive here too – from literal to the abstract.
Archetype is the class -> whose influence is carried by the beings who serve as its agents.
So I feel and make friends with the archetype itself or ask for forgiveness/contemplate on it, and live through whatever message that has for me, and I feel that dissolves the nexus of the multifarious threats coming from it.
All resolutions happen in the deep archetypal realms I feel.
The general context of our lives only reflects the larger puppeteers’ actions of moving the strings of the many characters and situations.
Fear and control go together.
Someone can control you, only once they install fear in you.
I thought – Create the correct environment in your psyche, use the correct deterrents and defenses to repel all parasitic beings.
Just like how one can keep one’s backyard clean – avoid wasp nests etc. – by planting repelling plants, coating with soap water solutions, and adding decoys, and so on.
Let the predator go about his business and leave you alone to do yours.
I think the purpose of the predator from my pov is to learn to transcend and protect myself from it – it’s a game.
Add beautiful repellents in your backyard (metaphor) -> and when there is a will there is a way -> there are so many things waiting for me to adopt them and cleanse myself of all the predators inside -> be it subtle ones like viruses in my gut and body, or overt ones like painful people around me.
I however see another issue, that my action will simply send the predator to someone else.
So should I be the great one, and withstand the predator, to save someone else?
That doesnt make sense in the larger picture – that looks like martyrdom, and it doesnt serve anything.
Others are tough enough, the creator upholds them, not me.
I am not responsible for protecting others from the TRUTH – that the world has both light and dark forces, and creation and destruction forces.
Such a protection harms them rather than help them.
They are going to live in dependence and fear anyway.
My responsibility is to affix myself with my own oxygen mask first.
This will allow me to overflow with power.
Then I can stand as an example as to how to be stand on your own feet, with vitality, with your own strength and knowledge, having conquered all your parasites/shadows/destructive, impairing, disabling, fears, and forces.
My service is my living example and exposition to others.
My being and commitment to abide with god/truth is my service.
Now there are some philosophical questions here.
Is the predator bad? —————- Is the exterminator bad?
Is the virus bad? ——————- Is the anti-virus bad?
Is action bad? ———————- Is re-action bad?
Is attack bad? ———————- Is defense bad?
This is like the chicken and egg problem.
It is cyclic.
What comes first?
Because the issue is that -> If I take the position of the “predator/virus/action/attack” -> It sees the opposite force “exterminator/anti-virus/re-action/defense” as the enemy.
If I take the position of the self-sufficient one -> then the enemy is these parasites who live dependent lives by hunting/attacking others.
So it is war of forces of desire/force.
Light desires/forces ———– Dark desires/forces
The linearity is only in the mind’s conception, in reality it all happens now instantaneously.
We have to take a position that transcends morality.
Because in the duality there are both:
life enhancing forces/intrinsic power ——— life diminishing forces/parasitic power
First I have to realize my own polarization.
I definitely identify and feel intrinsic life enhancement as the core in me.
All actions that I do, serve this.
So my task is to simply be more of my own true desire and let all my actions reflect who I am.
In other words, I “BE” THE CHARACTER I am meant to be and play the “God’s will role” fully.
Every fear is a call to toughen up/see/understand/conquer/master.
Develop and nurture your force until it rises above everything.
The enneagrams, myers briggs type, archetype identification, numerology, astrology – star signs etc. all serve in finding your source/power in the field.
These maps may initially serve as a guide to orient and triangulate your true position.
One has to FEEL one’s way through resonance.
RESONANCE is the compass.
It is all in FEELING your way through.
Each person’s “source/home position” is different, and that source position is their source of spirit.
When operating from there you are operating from what the creator intended you to be vs. this strange disconnected ego pov we find ourselves as which feeds from the source from afar, like faint moonlight.
Move towards your source, and journey into the dark night until you find it.
Find the “infinite power point” within yourself and then live from there as an example to show ‘WHAT POSSIBILITY EXISTS for each person”.
I want to be in alignment with the highest truth/highest will/highest vision/highest context – call it truth/love/god etc. that is secondary to me.
I want to dissolve all creation and BE the unmanifest/the highest solvent and live from there in absolute freedom.
Find the sun within you, and live from there.
Beyond Freedom
Even freedom is relative.
Freedom is only relative to YOUR NOTION, and not what is actually available to you around you.
Because I could always tell myself that I have a 100 other things most people do not have.
But does that make me feel free?
That makes me mentally feel good – as a concept, but that’s about it.
I cannot feel it powerfully.
The lifetime of the mental feeling of freedom is very short lived and teeny.
Freedom is an inner condition of abundant spirit.
“You are what you love and not what loves you” – I read this quote today and felt the truth of it.
“To want to gain Freedom” is again operating in a paradigm that also contains the fear of losing it.
So wanting anything carries an implicit fear of the loss of the thing.
So what is beyond freedom? That is my contemplation.
Freedom is only relative to YOUR NOTION, and not what is actually available to you around you.
Because I could always tell myself that I have a 100 other things most people do not have.
But does that make me feel free?
That makes me mentally feel good – as a concept, but that’s about it.
I cannot feel it powerfully.
The lifetime of the mental feeling of freedom is very short lived and teeny.
Freedom is an inner condition of abundant spirit.
“You are what you love and not what loves you” – I read this quote today and felt the truth of it.
“To want to gain Freedom” is again operating in a paradigm that also contains the fear of losing it.
So wanting anything carries an implicit fear of the loss of the thing.
So what is beyond freedom? That is my contemplation.
Distillation of insights
‘All is appearance’
‘The unmanifest far transcends all of the manifest’
‘All can change’
‘The real is NOW’
‘Timelines/time are within the NOW’,
‘Yin-yang cycles/alternations/pendulum-swings are happening across all scales’
‘The movement of energy is a mystery and I am that mystery’
‘There is only ‘singular’ being, and this being is being its nature of ‘mystery”
‘Control is an appearance’
‘Free-will is an appearance’
‘Conscious experience is conditioned by a vast subconscious(which can be intuited)’
‘All is one/All is energy/I am THAT energy’
‘There is only experience(inward or outward)’
‘All mental knowledge is through contrast (duality)’
‘There is nothing to fear, because whatever is lost is anyways what one is not’
‘The self and knowledge are memory, but memory is not me but an accumulation’
‘Desire creates and upholds consciousness itself’
‘Desire -> Consciousness[Energy[Mind -> Body]]’
‘Let all of you serve your highest truth’
‘There is no causation, There is only emergence’
‘We are the spontaneous unfolding of karmic potential’
‘We are evolution itself’
‘The unmanifest far transcends all of the manifest’
‘All can change’
‘The real is NOW’
‘Timelines/time are within the NOW’,
‘Yin-yang cycles/alternations/pendulum-swings are happening across all scales’
‘The movement of energy is a mystery and I am that mystery’
‘There is only ‘singular’ being, and this being is being its nature of ‘mystery”
‘Control is an appearance’
‘Free-will is an appearance’
‘Conscious experience is conditioned by a vast subconscious(which can be intuited)’
‘All is one/All is energy/I am THAT energy’
‘There is only experience(inward or outward)’
‘All mental knowledge is through contrast (duality)’
‘There is nothing to fear, because whatever is lost is anyways what one is not’
‘The self and knowledge are memory, but memory is not me but an accumulation’
‘Desire creates and upholds consciousness itself’
‘Desire -> Consciousness[Energy[Mind -> Body]]’
‘Let all of you serve your highest truth’
‘There is no causation, There is only emergence’
‘We are the spontaneous unfolding of karmic potential’
‘We are evolution itself’
Journey to the Abstract 