Tag: Truth

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Relationship between knowledge and experience

When, Knowledge > Experience:
The person may tend towards: arrogance, domination, control, imposition of will, conquest, achievement, ambition, demonstration of power.
The negative extreme of this case is “TYRANNY”.
The positive extreme of this case is a “MASTER”.
It is a case where conditioning + acquired knowledge > perception.
This is a stage of judgment, action, and works.
So then the result would be positive or negative depending on the conditioning.
Like most people in society will help a man who has slipped and fallen to stand up.
This is not necessarily because of true perception, but it is the general enculturation internalized knowledge that makes people act that way.

When, Experience > Knowledge:
The person becomes a seeker of knowledge and truth.
The negative extreme of this case is “PSYCHOSIS”.
The positive extreme of this case is a “SAINT/MYSTIC”.
It is the state of the child who learns by context, immersion, intensity, involvement, perfusion.
It is the state of a devotee and contemplation.
Contemplation on questions to ponder and wonder on.
Such a person is open, curious, innocent, and impressionable.
The seeking continues until the necessary awakening happens i.e. until the flowering of higher knowledge/wisdom/intelligence happens.
This is the stage of growth, development, and becoming.

This distinction is not about what is ‘better or worse’ or ‘good or bad’.
Rather, this comparison was only to illuminate the 2 aspects of the flux of existence.
Everyone passes through both these stages of evolution.
We know and do, then we see we don’t know and learn, then again we know and do, and so on.
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Living through the death process

dead_trees

WARNING: This is a somewhat serious and heavy post.
For the readers not interested in the topic of death, this can be skipped.

I am losing control.
I am losing my will-power.
I am dying, fading, receding, dissolving, falling into the ground,
Into a subconscious in-between state.
The state in-between:
# waking and sleep
# waking and dreaming
# life and death
# birth and death
# consciousness and unconsciousness

I am like a dying tree,
Who is in the hands of all of nature’s elements.
I cannot weather the elemental forces anymore.
I submit to them.
I submit to their destruction of me.
The wind blows off my leaves and branches.
Animals eats off whatever they want from me.
Insects feast on me from the outside.
Microorganisms eat me from within.
I am decomposing and falling into the ground of filth,
From where I sprang forth.
It is as if god has given permission to everything in nature to finish me off.
I stand back within this apocalypse and witness tides and tides of destruction, loss, and grief.
The loss of everything I have known.
The loss and destruction continuously happens.
The only function “I” perform with my will, is opening the valve just enough so that it is bearable.
Every-time I open the valve, more of my self is torched in the flame.
Facing death consciously is like facing endless loss and grief.
I know that death is be allowed.
But I am compassionate to the me that is dying,
As every identification is being decomposed, rotted, and reabsorbed.
The process is as pretty as witnessing a vegetable rot in time lapse.
Every death of every part, fills my space with its smoke of grief.
But I only get short breaks, before the next series of deaths start.

My “senses” are going weak.
I can sense/feel/perceive anything only with a lot of strain.
I have to expend a lot of effort to crystallize a momentary perception.
And if I keep doing that, then I will be sent back into a stupor from exhaustion.
My will has become so weak and feeble,
I have to let 95% of things just happen.
I can no longer control my thought and emotion.
I have lost the unity of body mind spirit.
Now they are all fragmented.
It is a descent into chaos like what happens to a kingdom when the king falls.
The various fragments pull and push at each other and scream at the death process, which pulls off their life supports and they all struggle to survive until they fade away.

My mind reacts to the dissolution with painful dreadful suffering visions and agonies,
Which immediately affect the body too with an assortment of painful hormones.
Death is something that is done to you, I am not doing anything.
In fact with the structural dissolution, my power to do decreases more and more.
All I can do with the me that is left is let it happen or resist it.
And resisting it only gives me short breaks.
The flood of the death process, cannot be dammed away for too long.
My motto is: To bear it and allow it as much as possible,
With minimum-damage and suffering, which is the only priority.
The challenge is to go through it with as much grace as you can muster.

Every structure resists death, every structure wants to live.
And so every dissolution of every structure suffers onto its own demise.
Birth and death are suffering.
The growing pains and the dying pains.
Creation is painful and destruction is painful.
There is no escape from pain and resistance.
There is a fundamental duality of:
Statis(inertia, death) ——- Movement(life)
So because the whole of existence/experience is a play of opposing forces,
Resistance as an experience is going to be felt no matter what.
If you sit still, your life force will push on you.
If you move, your inertia will drag on you.
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Dissolve all experience back to source

All experience is a projection.
It is an external projection, that is why ex-perience.
This experience is projected from you.
And, to take the rabbit hole even deeper, you yourself are a projection from the source.
So ‘you’ don’t really exist.
Only the source exists.
Just like the characters in the movie screen are all made of light.
You yourself are the projection of the source.
The source projects you first and then withdraws you back into itself once it has enjoyed all the experiences AS you and THROUGH you.
The source alone is the enjoyer, sufferer, experiencer of all experiences.

Your true identity is that source itself.
“You” are the source itself which has taken on the form of you and now experiencing through you.
The only true value, and moreover, the only thing that really exists is the source.
And you and your experiences have never been anything else but this primordial source energy (if I can even call it energy).

Every desired object is only the projection of source energy from source through you onto the object.
So if you wish to return to the source:
Dissolve all negative self-images and feelings back to source.
Dissolve all low frequency emotions back to source.
Dissolve all tiredness low-frequency energy back to source.
Dissolve all desire back to source.
Dissolve all thoughts back to source.
Dissolve all images back to source.
Dissolve all experiences back to source.
Dissolve all interest emanations back to source.
Dissolve all suffering feelings back to source.
Dissolve all knowledge back to source.
Dissolve all memory back to source
Dissolve all perceptions back to source.

None of your experience is personal from the viewpoint of the infinite source.
All of it belongs to the source and it will return to the source.
I could call this source, god, the ultimate, and so on.
Another way to put it is, you yourself are the imagination of god.
So when god chooses to re-imagine you, he pulls you back into himself and re-imagines you as another being in another life and maybe in another totally different realm.
This total inward turn returns you to your source.
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Infinite relationship

All experience is relationship.
Relationship is infinite.
Relationship is impermanent.
Relationship is appearance.
Relationship is like a flowing river (you never step in the same river twice).
Relationship is always flowing/ebbing/moving/changing/shifting/dancing.
Relationship is NOW.
Relationship is ever-present.
Relationship is Whole.
Relationship is Living and Dynamic (not static/solid/fixed).
Every moment is a new relationship.
You are already related to every being and everything in the universe NOW.
There is only the endless realization/revelation of that which IS.
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The real YOU is the field itself

The you is only part of YOU.
The YOU[field(you)+field(-you)]
you are only an appearance within YOU.
The other/world appears as outside of you, but actually it is [YOU-you]
The YOU is the field itself AND all explicit consciousness in it and the implicit structure that creates that explicit projection.
The implicit structure and the explicit consciousness arise together and are mutually interdependent (independent+dependent).
‘you’ can take any role in the field possibilities.
But if ‘you’ do then the field will balance it by making the others around you take up the opposite roles to bring back the field’s structure.
So changing the ‘you’ to another role taken by the ‘other’ in your field does not change much except the point of view(pov).
You will still live in a similar reality seeing the same essential stuff just from a different pov ‘you’.
So transcendence is to free the field itself, the entire field of consciousness.
So that all the ‘you’-‘other’ fixed networks/patterns/possibilities in it are freed.
The field first fills itself – your descend into the world(say, this world) of form – along with an apparent ‘you’ inside it, that lives among apparent ‘others’ outside it.
Then the field empties itself – your ascent into the world(nirvana world) of the pure field.
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Paradoxes and Oxymorons of Truth

PARADOXES:
Truth is:
Freedom ——— Rule based
Free will ——- Predetermined
Unconstrained — Constrained
Local ——————– Non-local
Light ———– Dark
Known ———– Unknown
Consciousness —- Unconsciousness
Unchanging ——- Changing
Essence ———- Non-essence
Illusion ———— Reality
Attained/Strive —– Already here/Realized
Complex ————— Simple
Multiple —————- One
Focused ————– Broad
Graspable ————- Ungraspable
Limited —————- Unlimited
Something ————- Nothing

OXYMORONS:
Truth is:
Freedom-based rules ——– Rule-based freedom
Free predetermination ——— Predetermined free
Unconstrained constrainment ——- Constrained unconstrainment
Localized non-locality ———— Non-localized locality
Light Dark ————- Dark Light
Known Unknown ——- Unknown known
Conscious Unconsciousness ——- Unconscious consciousness
Unchanging changing ———— Changing Unchanging
Essential non-essence ——— Non-essential essence
Illusory reality ————– Real illusion
Attained realization ———- Realized Attainment
Complexly Simple ———– Simply complex
Multiple One —————– One Multiple
Focused Broad ——– Broad Focused
Graspable Ungraspable ——— Ungraspable Graspable
Limited Unlimited ———– Unlimited Limited
Something made of Nothing ———- Nothing made of Something
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The seduction of social media images

Pictures are extremely limited information.
They are all porn and seductions.
They are all “A PART disguising itself as the WHOLE”.
The wholes/actuals/depths are millions of times vaster.
That is why, social media: facebook, tinder, twitter, linked in, blogs, instagram -> nothing really shows more than 0.01%.
It is all an alluring bait.
A carefully created MASK, to HIDE from and substitute for the whole ocean of the truth.
Taking the best parts(tapping the collective human fantasy coming from the collective shame, insecurities and illusions) and further heavenly-fying it [super enhanced 0.01%].
It is marketing, advertising, deception, masking, and it is conveying a specific message.
What is the picture that everyone is attempting to convey?
To advertise that their life is great, that they are secure, they know their shit, that they are sought-after, significant, popular, loved, admirable and worthy?
And people try to die into these socially created images, and lose themselves into it.
So that, this can serve as a perfect antidote/mask for all their shame and insecurities.
The origin of this is SHAME, both individual and collective.
I see it as a form of escapism and narcissism, all narcissism is after all rooted in the shame (the same root).
To narrow oneself into what is celebrated and acceptable, and disown all the other parts of oneself, and make-believe that image is all one is, and invest one’s whole life into this extraordinary limitation.
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Is your deeper desire to transcend the physical?

Today, I was travelling in a shared taxi and the passenger next to me had a moderate cold (cold virus) and was constantly sniffling. As a reaction to this, I tensed up my body esp. in the stomach and chest, tightening all those inner muscles, and tried to breathe less, and look away from him as much as possible.
The journey lasted 30m, so this condition I was in was getting painful, and I felt really irritated at the passenger beside me, feeling an impulse to just attack him. I ofcourse restrained myself, and put up with this resistance within me and when I reached my destination, the ordeal was over, and I could finally breathe normally again.

Even as those sensations happened in the taxi, I vowed to myself that I would stay AS CONSCIOUS AS POSSIBLE of every single thing happening.
A lot of deep insights came to me even while all of this was happening.
The first insight was that: Actually, my deeper self was ready to allow the cold virus to enter me. My deeper self felt like a omni-directional vacuum unconditionally receiving. It was attracting everything indiscriminately, and the resistance and tightening up I felt was my human self’s/body’s response to the deeper self’s indiscriminate vacuum like attraction.

So my body tightened from within as a protection, to prevent the destructive energy(cold virus) from being pulled in. So though it felt like the other man was to blame for my painful body contraction and so on, I could see that it was only an appearance/projection.
In reality I was afraid of my own deeper self’s attraction, and was resisting against that.
Then I thought about that more deeply, and realized, all fear is essentially your resistance to your own [higher/deeper self’s attraction], isn’t it? (the deeper self could represent the unconscious layer of self beneath the surface feelings/emotions/thoughts felt)
Another example of this would be, when I would peep out of a low balcony at a great height, say 500ft above the ground, I would wonder as to ‘why do I get the fear of falling felt as a contraction/restraint feeling?
I felt the resistance/contraction felt which is termed ‘fear’ which acts counter to the falling movement, is really my resistance towards my own deeper self’s desire to actually FALL (there is an attraction to let go and fall).
The same is true when sometimes if I look at a girl who is provocatively dressed and attractive to me, I feel FEAR (sensation is of contraction and restraint).
What am I really fearing? My fear is actually preventing my deeper self from acting on its desire of being drawn to her.
Similarly, if someone is acting rudely and violating me, I feel fear again, because it is to restrain me (my deeper desire) from attacking him back, which would lead to undesirable consequences for me in the larger picture.
So I see that all fear is me stopping myself, restraining myself from acting on a deeper impulse/force/desire felt.
There could be wisdom in fear too.
Because a wise man has greater vision and can see far-ranging consequences of actions.
Fear/Contraction/Restraint/Stifling is not necessarily negative.

Now, I went further into the inquiry, wondering about, why is the deeper part of me attracting destruction/destructive forces to me?
This has been happening for as long as I remember, and I wanted to get to the bottom of it.
Why is my higher self against my physical thriving? (why do I have a hermit lifestyle? why am I not investing in material security, relationship security etc.?)
When I pondered on this, I realized there is a lot of background metaphysics context that is needed to really look into this question.
What I am resisting/fearing is destruction/dissolution and what I am looking forward to is maintenance/enhancement.
But that part of me is only a small part of me.
There are many more deeper dimensions.
The metaphysics relevant for this case is that:
“Form itself represents lower energy.
The formless is higher energy, and the formless is FREE to take any form as its appearance. But form by itself cannot change without the aid of the formless energy transforming it.”
I remember from my earliest days, my deepest desire was for freedom.
And since the physical form is inherently limited and low energy, I always wanted to transcend it.
That is why I never invested much in my physical identity.
I pondered: Could this be one of the transition stages, one of my final incarnations, to really complete the impulses/desires of the physical and finishing up before moving on to the subtler higher energy realms?
That resonates with the way I have felt all my life.
So then in a way, my higher self is purposely attracting destructive forces, and it reminds me of the dialogue from the movie Jacob’s ladder:
“The only thing that burns in Hell is the part of you that won’t let go of life, your memories, your attachments. They burn them all away. But they’re not punishing you, he said. They’re freeing your soul. If you’re frightened of dying and… and you’re holding on, you’ll see devils tearing your life away. But if you’ve made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the earth. It’s just a matter of how you look at it.”
When a sugar cube gets dissolved into water, is it getting destroyed? or is there simply a transformation of essence?
When seen from a limited perspective, it looks like destruction is destroying essence itself but really, the essence only changes into a subtler form.
Like say I take gold and powder it, and powder it until you cannot see the powder, it will look like the gold has vanished. But really it has only vanished from your perception, not in essence.
Similarly I think, the resistance/fear is coming from the portion of me identified with the physical body, the animal part of me.
Every form/structure/formation/cell resists dissolution.
Like centripetal and centrifugal force, there are 2 forces in us:
‘Self preservation(identification with form)’ and ‘Longing to dissolve(identification with formless)’ forces.
It is not one or the other, rather it is about which is greater.
So when the higher self being a stronger force moves you along the path of dissolution into a higher energy essence form, your lower self experiences change/death, and that is why the resistance and in a way, this suffering is inevitable and can be greatly reduced if the deeper metaphysics is fully understood.
The despair/doom/pain/suffering/resistance are all experiences of the part of that is identified with form.
But if the part of you that longs for freedom is too strong, it will lead you into dissolution.
Notice your longings carefully, and you will see that all that is happening is working with perfection according to the actuals of the forces within.

The 2 drives:
Life drive ——–and——– Death drive
Are both resistances from the lower mortal self -> 2 kinds of rebellion.
To try to die faster than it is happening is to direct aggression towards destruction = death drive.
To try to keep/maintain or enhance things when they are not supported by the higher, is to again direct aggression towards enhancement or maintenance of status quo = life drive.
So what it means in truth/essence is that, life = transformation.
It is now. It is the direct vibration of perception itself.
To the mortal self: It feels like:
Construction = heaven —— Destruction = hell.
But to the deeper self, it is the opposite:
Construction of mortal form = limitation = lower energy state of being —— Destruction of the mortal form = Dissolution = Freedom = Higher energy subtler state of being.
Both the perspectives of the mortal self and the deeper self are simultaneously operating.
Feel your inner space, and understand their dynamics within you, and when you fully allow both construction and destruction, you become the allowing itself, and get subsumed into the NOW.
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Whose expectations determine our behavior and self?

Are others responding to what you expect from them? OR Are you responding to what others expect from you?
Are you conditioning others’ behavior? OR Are others conditioning your behavior?
Are we being the way we are because we are that way? OR as a response to what the other expects?
Are we ACTING or REACTING?
Do you expect to be treated a certain way? and that is why the other is simply fulfilling your own request? OR Are you simply behaving in accordance and taking on a role based on the other’s expectation?

These questions are like koans that lead you beyond.
Both sides are true.
Between the self and other, there is total mutual inter-relationship.
Deep psychoanalysis will at times tell you that if you are constantly abused then somewhere you are playing a 50% role of enabling it. You allow and attract such people and even allow their behavior because you want them to do that to you.
And the converse can also be explained. That if the other is a narcissistic bully he conditions your role i.e. to be a hostage for his rageaholic monologues etc.
So what is the truth?
Is your own expectation attracting such treatment? OR Is the bad other forcing you to behave that way to protect yourself?

Is our role and behavior in life conditioned by what others expect from us?
OR are others simply complying with what we expect from them?

Both are true and are simultaneous.
Since the mind can only grok one side at a time, we may bias ourselves to either seeing the self as responsible or other as responsible.
But in truth, both are happening simultaneously.
This simultaneity of occurrence cannot be grasped in one thought, it goes beyond the capacity of the linear mind to hold.
So we can examine only 1 at a time, but both are true.

cubes

From that higher level, we can see that there is only god.
The self, the other, their relationship, who is doing whom etc. is like the perspective puzzle of “Do you see 6 cubes or 7 cubes?”
The truth is – it is 6, it is 7, it is both, it is neither, all of the above, neither of the above, all of the above and beyond, neither of the above and beyond etc.
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Experiential Reality needs no proof

There is no proof needed for experiential reality.
The experience and the proof are one.
Because proof is to simply add a certification/validation/confirmatory wrapper over the raw information.
It is an additive layer that gives validity to the whole package – furnishing the package with proof and consequently certifying its validity too.
In experiential reality, the seeing is either present or absent.
If present then no proof is needed, it is already ascertained.

To become aware of something new, is expansion and realization of consciousness itself.
You either see it (realize it) or you don’t.
It is your sensitivity to see it or not.
Most practices are only invitations/favorable conditions to sensitize you to seeing certain spaces/phenomena OR they awaken certain sensitivities lying below your current threshold.