Tag: Truth

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Freedom is by staying as void

Freedom is in the void.
It in when you have both:
– anti-knowledge and knowledge.
– perspective and anti-perspective
– matter and anti-matter
etc.
The freedom eagle needs both the wings of creation and destruction to move.
Otherwise free movement is not possible
That is the art of learning alchemy and transmutation.
Of sliding along the poles of the same things.
Depression —————————- Joy
Bad ———————————- Good
Preoccupied ———————– Available/free
Stuck ———————– Free
Negative ——————- Positive
Non-sexual —————- Sexual
Passion ——————— Anti-passion
To be stuck is to be unable to shift perspective/shift reality/change.
The ability to shift perspective like this along the poles of things is the greatest freedom.
Else I am enslaved and CANNOT MOVE out of a rigid interpretation or structure.
The ability to focus and move along the poles axis of thought and perspective, is the freedom.
This however requires a lot of energy.
Greater the energy, greater the ability to shimmery change into anything.
Spectrum of available energy:
Low energy stuckness ————————– High energy shimmery change.
As your energy reduces, your karma accumulations will get to you.
It is like imagine someone started giving you $1000 a day and gradually increased it each day until it reached $100,000.
Say you bought a bunch of things with it and made a bunch of investments.
Once it reaches 100,000 a day, say the money given everyday starts reducing until it becomes $1000 again.
Now your life investments in the downward phase will be constantly grating on you. You will have to sell, give up, let go of a lot of stuff and still how much ever you give up, there will still be a strain on resources. All your investments will continue to be unsustainable.
This is until you give up everything and get back to your long ago state of having $1000 a day.
Karma looks to be something like that.
It is a cycle.
There is high energy to begin with, super high vibration, we create all kinds of reality with that, and enjoy them, then eventually the excess free energy gets exhausted, and then the energy starts decreasing causing you to drop all your creations, until 0. Then another wave starts.
Karma is created by attachment and investment.
So riding the wave without attachment and with dispassion/dis-investment allows you to live the energy flow without losing any to upholding/maintaining karma accumulations(which inevitably result in the pain of loss in the downward cycle) and transcend the cycle.
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Energetic Principle of Ego

The ego works primarily on assertion and denial.
There are a lot of profound facts about assertion and denial.
1 – What you assert, is exactly what does not already exist.
In other words, the energy that MAKES the assertion DOES NOT CONTAIN the asserted thing which is precisely why it is making the assertion in order to bring into being that which is not already present.
2 – You can only deny that which already exists.
The energy that makes the denial, already contains the denied object. How can you deny something that does not even exist?
These 2 rules above have profound implications for the understanding of our own psyche and other peoples’ psyche.
So assertion, brings into being that which is not effortlessly present and denial shields that which is already effortlessly present in being.
These are the 2 obfuscating mechanisms, that prevent you from seeing/feeling/experiencing the deeper reality/self.
Both assertion and denial is to be let go, in order to dwell/be/see into the deeper reality.
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Two kinds of relationships

I broadly see 2 kinds of relationships:
– Ego relationships: Based on reciprocal exchanges from each others’ reservoirs, transactional relationship.
– Source relationships: Based on direct flow from the source.
If you get exhausted/tired/depleted and as a result resenting/angry/demanding – then it is a sign that: 1 – You are in a transactional relationship and the transaction is not really working, like withdrawing cash at an ATM and the ATM deducts the money but does not dispense the cash or gives out only a fraction of it. It is living in scarcity.
2 – Source relationships: Your relationship and investments in it are coming directly as a flow from the source which is abundant and infinite. So that way your reservoir tanks of will are full and you are filled with energy.
Your movement does not drain your resources at all because it is directly working from source energy.
To give another analogy:
Point 1 is like using the laptop battery for power.
Point 2 is like plugging it to an A/C source. So not only is the battery full, you can also do whatever you want without worrying about LOSS of power, or depletion of your battery (reservoir).
Another way to put it would be:
Point 1 is Ego Relationships (fundamentally work on scarcity, just like the money system)
Point 2 is Source Relationships (fundamentally work on abundance, there is only celebration)
Ego relationships though can also be very harmonious and fair, its not wrong or anything, like we see in many of the successful marriages around the world. That would be basically akin to a fair trade system.
Source relationships on the other hand happen when you flow with the source energy and not with your stored reservoir of will. They are effortless and retain fullness at all times.
One way to tune into this reality would be, imagine there are no others at all and there is only you. Now what would you do then? If in such a state of being, you choose to have a relationship and invest in an other(spontaneously), then it is a source relationship.
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Center of being

single-point2

All suffering/pain is from not being in alignment with one’s true self/frequency/center of being
All pleasure/happiness is from being in alignment with one’s true self/frequency/center of being
– (inspired from Bentinho’s work)

We always have a pull towards our true being/alignment/center.
So resisting that pull is suffering, and all the structures that impede this movement towards that pull create resistance and therefore suffering.

The truth is always flowing as a river, at every moment…
Even our resistance is created/upheld/maintained/supported by us at every moment by the structures we hold on to that impede this river.
Every moment is an opportunity to let go.
A fresh opportunity is available at each moment.
We are given infinite chances.

The diagram illustrates standing in the center of your being.
The farther away you are from that, the less power you will have, the less happiness you will feel, the less alive you will feel and the more disconnected you will feel.
We are always pulled towards this center, and I could say, all our life and all our seeking is to find this center and live from there as the infinite abundance.
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Stuff about ultimate reality being love sounds like BS to me

Are you universal love right now?
[What if you are feeling all terrible, diseased, sick, disconnected, scattered, lost, miserable, lonely, desperate now? Does that resemble “love” in any way?]
If your answer is no, and that love is another state of exalted existence which is what is actually real and this is partially unreal at-least compared to that, then you are giving that the higher reality status, and have already created a spectrum of:
Less real ———————————- More real
Now, you have to find another reality that transcends this spectrum, and which will send you back to the drawing board with regards to the ultimate truth.
The ultimate truth has nothing to do with a specific experience of ‘love’, by any definition that is commonly known.
If we want to call the ultimate reality as love, then the definition of love would have to be radically revised, and it should mean, Love = Ultimate reality. What could that be? Such a definition of love is as inconceivable and beyond, as ultimate reality itself.
Then why is the word ‘love’ somehow treated as more relatable, than ultimate reality? It looks equally strange/inconceivable/unimaginable.
That is with regard to all the conventional definitions of love, all of which have a connotation of FEELING pleasant/good.
It is exclusive, and not all-inclusive that the ultimate reality is.

Let me try to re-look from a deep esoteric/abstract angle:
If I ponder over it now, I think ‘love’ represents the reclaiming of wholeness in its fundamental substance that is the substrate and field for all form manifestations.
In that line of thought, “Love = Reclamation”.
The self is fundamentally what we claim to be.
So love and self are analogous. Love = Self.
So then I could also say “identification” is love.
Because what we identify with, is our self at that moment.
Then, Love = Self = Identification.
Identifying (as a verb) = the act of loving = the act of self-ing.
We could then say, the journey from “identifying with the personal” to “identifying with the universal”, is the journey of the expansion of identification, the expansion of love, to include everything as one-self.
But it goes beyond the inclusion of everything, because then we are assuming the ‘everything’ has a definite existence, when in truth, its all changing/real-unreal/flow.
So then, if ‘love’ is all inclusive, it also includes love for the process of creation (which we all readily relate to) and for the process of destruction too (which includes all the stuff we generally abhor in our culture – death, sickness, disease, weariness, tiredness etc.).
Universal love would obviously include all forms of the field. That would imply it would also include society’s most hated criminals – serial killers, brutal hate crimes, all kinds of torturers, destructive leaders and every other form of stomach churning/pain inducing manifestations.

And then another common misconception of love is that, it implys/means that you MUST/OUGHT TO serve the CONTINUITY of existence for that living being/object (in whatever form) etc.
Why should that be the case?
Then again such a love is exclusive, since it might exclude your own well-being, like say a serial killer is attacking you.
If you love the serial killer, does it imply that you just ALLOW him to kill you? OR Do you kill him as a preemptive move in order to protect others you love? OR Are you supposed to simply defend yourself by causing the least harm to both yourself and the other?
What is the correct principle or behavior?
Each principle or behavior is invariably exclusive, while love is all-inclusive.
We can know about others only through their behavior.
How can we possibly have any ideology/conception with regards to what all-inclusive love looks like, when it transcends everything?
The love could be both, a nectar that draws you towards it and exalts you or it can also like the moth being pulled towards a flame.
The commonality in both cases is the PULL force.
Then is love the pulling force? No, we can’t say that, because then it excludes the pushing force.
Can a person not push you away, because he/she loves you? (sounds plausible right)
Eventually with this reasoning we may conclude love is existence itself.
But love transcends that too, and also includes non-existence.
I cannot even say love is the movement of existence because love would allow existence to move, be-still and even non-exist, since it is all inclusive.

This inquiry was to illuminate the common notions and expectations of love we uphold, which are all only various forms of exclusion.
Even the serial killer, after all, loves his serial killing hobby (it might make you cringe to even consider that).
In the light of all that, I even question, why do people insist on using the word ‘love’ to refer to the ultimate reality? Is that even appropriate, considering all the baggage it brings at every level?
If love is all inclusive, it allows EVERYTHING, including the most ghastly things that nobody would dare even call love.
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Journey to home

“Keep you eyes on the real goal” – I keep telling myself
As I navigate this territory without the ego structure
Sometimes higher goals appear, at other times chaos appears
Various gross and subtle fragments of identification fill up my entirety and pass through/change.
I cannot yet sense a ground.
I fall through various fragments/shifting identifications -> and shifting worlds.
I am like a true traveler, a psychic nomad, moving through various landscapes of the mind.
This is my journey towards home.
This is a unique territory that is to be navigated with my own intelligence.

I tell myself:
Trust that for each fragment encountered, life knows what it is doing.
Nothing is ever wasted.
No effort is ever in vain.
Flow with the divine will.
There is nothing to do, but to get out of the way
And let thy be done
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Louder passions vs. softer passions

Whatever is done/spoken/communicated/acquired in passion – dies with the ending of the passion.
It is a passionate state of mind – and it ends quickly.
The lack of deeper passion is what we call lack of soul OR the deeper passion is subconscious and in chaos, and to escape from that chaos, a passion is created and pushed out – to create the passionate state of mind.
This is what creates the feeling of superficiality and deeper emptiness.
To give an example, Lust is passion too.
The arousal of lust is the arousal of passion.
One can become addicted to states of passion and always desperately stay passionate, because when they sink deeper into themselves, they see the chaos that actually lies underneath.
But passion is a highly limited/limiting state.
The louder the passion, the more limited it is.
Spectrum of passion:
Very soft ———————— Very loud.
The loudest passions take the most energy and are sustained for a very short period of time. They create intense purpose and also dissolute as easily and fast.
The softer passions are the more enduring ones that give a person a sense of prolonged fullness and purpose.
So if you are feeling empty in life – then you probably need to go deeper, and become more dispassionate, silence yourself more and see the softer/lighter/subtler territory you are blind to at present, because of drowning that with louder passions (arousing them to escape the deeper pain).
Passion Blinds! The louder passions drown the subtler ones.
[Like notice when lust fills you up, almost all your motivation energy is redirected]
Moving to the subtler realm of passions may feel like death, because it is sinking and letting go of all the louder passions that have hitherto driven you.
What we call the soul, might refer to this deeper realm of subtle passions/forces.
Passions = Forces, basically.
So it can also be worded as, greater forces drown the subtler forces.
[Just like loud noises drown soft ones, and just like how bright lights drown softer lights (like how we cannot see stars at daytime)]
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The creative void/Brahman

No experience I have ever had could be otherwise.
Everything is exactly the way it is, and experience is free-falling from the void and returning to it.
“I myself” as an apparent controller/agent am an appearance and part of this free-fall of experience.
It is as if life(manifest) spills out from death and returns to death(void) – The creative void.
This creative void endlessly spills out movies of experience and apparent subjects and points of view.
Also the world, other people, objects are all arising in consciousness which is the real substance all of it is made up of.
Consciousness or the manifest arises from this creative void – like a media player visualization.
This creative void has no substance, or nature, or form. Just as your eyes should not have any color in order that you see all outer colors clearly (else if your eye itself were tinted with a color, then everything would appear to take that color) – similarly, the Brahman/creative void is qualityless, quantityless, substanceless, natureless, formless.
The creative void is truly “Nothing” and “Everything” that is manifest now, is only 1 of its boundless/infinite possibilities.
The creative void/Brahman is even beyond concepts of ONENESS and INFINITY, because both of those are subtle mentations/ways of seeing, and that is only one of the possibilities of the creative void.
I can endlessly describe the creative void, but none of the descriptions ARE IT, because each description is only one of the forms of this void.
All that I write about is about the mystery of this creative void. It is a celebration of its mystery and wonder.
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Pondering on “Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists.”

This aphorism is deeply intriguing to me.
It points at such a profound truth that I can intuitively grasp, but to touch this truth to all of my experience and to understand all of its implications is an endless fascinating contemplation.

I wonder about what this “no-thing thing” is.
This question makes me look.
The deeper I look, the more I silence myself to see finely (like how we hold our breath when threading a needle)
I am trying to silence myself enough to see the substrate space.
At a point, I can see, that along with what I am looking at, I am looking at my own looking.
I then see that, this looking is my own desire, the deepest desire in me, to feel and know the ultimate reality.
So me as the whole having a desire to look at itself (awareness turning back and seeing itself), is a desire like any other, that appears and passes.
Which means, this whole quest to know the ultimate reality is from my own deep desire.

This has mind-boggling implications of the impossibility of me knowing anything.
If all knowing and knowledge accumulation is driven by desire (the desire/heart drives the tuning into that particular manifestation of reality), and if desires appear and pass like all phenomena, then my very ground is swept off my feet.
Reality is even more crazily mysterious than I had previously considered.
So then, the quest of mine to find the ultimate ground is in itself driven by a specific desire, and therefore the manifestation that I paradoxically do by non-doing, is not the ULTIMATE GROUND of experience but rather a ‘Specific experience’.

On the negative side: Everything can be threatened. I mean EVERYTHING.
On the positive side: The truth/real can never be threatened. So nothing of true value is ever lost.

So what is the TRUE REAL? – it is inconceivable, ineffable, unimaginable, unfathomable, undetectable, unnoticeable, un-objectifiable, insubstantiateable. It is “…THAT…”.
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Everything is God

Everything is God.
Everything and Every person and Every living being.
Why should I reject any manifestation of God? In whatever form?
All attachment, desire, and addiction is the desire for repetition of [past images].
We are looking for the concretization of past images or mental fantasies – all of which create the “kohut tension arc”, which we attempt to move towards and seek as ideals (which is almost like a problem we are are constantly engaged in solving).
But greater life is about:
change/novelty/newness/unknown/unimaginable/miracle/aliveness/freshness/mystery
Desiring past images, is like ghost images controlling the show where they are always trying to rig and manipulate reality to fit these images.
The past is dead, the known is dead, these images are dead.
All the unchanging is dead.
To convert this unchanging dead into the alive changing is the transformation process.
Behind this transformation process, is a deep desire for greater life, and the process satisfies our own deep wish.