Tag: Psychology

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The world is a sensation

The entire world appears to us as a sensation.
The “world” is a sensation in consciousness.
The world is literally a FELT PRESENCE.
So if I have to take you out of this world,
All I have to is remove your sensation of the world
[I do not have to fly you to outer-space]

Let’s take 4 aspects: Sensation -> Mind -> Feeling -> Intuition
The food for the mind is sensation.
Feeling tells you if the sensation is acceptable/good or unacceptable/bad (which is again based on the mind’s mentation about it)
Intuition taps on all the symbolic images (imaginal/imaginations) opened up by the sensation.

Knowledge is a sensation too.
Supposing you go onto the stage and out of stage fear and anxiety you go blank
What has really happened?
You have lost touch with the SENSATION of that knowledge (the sensation is buried and overpowered by much louder and grosser energies of fear/anxiety/fight-flight which have shifted your entire perception – drowning out the sensation of your knowledge completely in your CONTEXT now)
You know that you know when you feel the sensation of that knowing.

That is how even when a person is totally alone,
He may feel no loneliness at all, and may even feel great connection.
Why? Because he carries the “SENSATION” of being connected.
And the world IS the sensation of it.

The opposite also can happen,
You can be in a place full of 1000s of people who love you,
and feel NO SENSATION of it.
This would mean those 1000s of people DO NOT EXIST to you because the SENSATION of them is absent.
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Chronic anger develops from Chronic violation

emergence

Say you are a child.
And your parents were over-controlling, over-protective, over-bearing, over-intrusive, dominating, smothering, suffocating, over-powering, and infringed on you in EVERY POSSIBLE WAY.
Say they imposed tyranny on you, threatened you in all sorts of ways (psychological, mental, physical), played all sorts of emotionally debilitating games, and constantly used guilting and shaming to get you to comply.
Let’s say, whenever you raised resistance they decried it, minimized it, laughed at it, brushed it away, denied it, gas-lighted it (mind-gaming, perception-blaming), performed circular arguments, somehow twisted the blame back to you, guilted you for even raising resistance, mind-gamed you into thinking it was unreasonable and actually your fault, and so on.
Imagine, this was taken a level even further and you were physically beaten into submission as brutally as possible, until you were filled with nothing but fear and terror.
Supposing they opposed your every attempt to individuate yourself or separate yourself from them, and thwarted every such effort on your part.
Say, they always wanted you to be their slave(but they would never admit this), and fit their image, and be exactly the way they want you to be (a clone of them or living up to their ideal/role/expectation), and always be under their control.
Now, let’s add to the suffering. Supposing you had a sibling whose only mission in life was to compete with you and actively and violently suppress all of your expression and minimize everything that you can possibly do.
Would this not be an EXTRAORDINARY hostile environment for you to grow up in?
Would not your life purpose become just about emerging from all these hostile forces and gain the most basic of freedom and liberty?

When a child is faced with this sort of debilitating, imprisoning, torturous, blind, abusive, crippling, stifling, controlling, maddening, and disabling environment, he shrinks in terror and seals oneself off from relationship (killing off the possibility of love).
In this heart of darkness (like a dark prison cell with a window), the child looks out at the world from the grilled window.
This dark cell the child creates is the protective cover of the heart against this level of assault and it permanently seals off many many possibilities of relationship with the world.
The dark cell always serves as a reminder and houses all the traumatic memory in its very walls.
Every time these situations were faced, tremendous rage and anger was aroused, as a protective system against the assault, but no amount of rage could do anything to stop it.
The child is absolutely powerless and helpless no matter HOW HARD he tries.
This sends him into a deep despair.
Should he fight to live? OR should he dissociate and just let himself die?
If the former option is chosen:
A super high degree of rage becomes the default mode of being because there is always a background of infinite threat against which one has to defend and fight.
An “extreme fear and defense/attack” disposition becomes the default against an infinitely threatening environment and others.
Life itself is then perceived as an ‘extremely hostile other’ that is out to destroy the child against which the child is woefully under-powered to fight.
This takes on archetypal/mythical levels of reality penetration, and thereafter the child will live his whole life in background FEAR AND TERROR – and live in a state of being ever-ready to violently fight at the most primitive levels.
The default mode of perception is of SUPERLATIVE THREAT and SUPERLATIVE DEFENSE.
The ATTACK is nothing but Pre-emptive defense.
Defense is the first goal and attack is from the hope of destroying the threat so that one can do away with the NEED AND PREOCCUPATION AND FEAR about defending.
This leads to compulsive power seeking which can take on multifarious forms such as – physical domination, emotional domination, intellectual domination, social power and status seeking, and so on.
If the latter option of death is chosen:
It could also take on the reverse side of seeking to submit/surrender/give up/self-abnegate/die because that also ends the conflict.
Both the choices of:
Extreme fight ——————- Extreme surrender
They both look like opposites, but the unity in them is that, both endeavor to END conflict, and “suffering” is always from conflict.
The child may alternate too between the 2 options:
Rage at one time —————– Feel depressed and empty at another
Ultimately, the more the child deeply sees and looks into the matter, a lot of dross falls away, and it leads to singular truth seeking.
What is the truth of existence? Why is it so hostile to me? Am I guilty of something? How am I to ever emerge from this hellish circumstance? How can I heal this? Should I fight to live or just resign and die?
This kind of metaphysical preoccupation plagues the child’s mind.
He can never invest in anything like ordinary people do, because his heart carries all the frightening memories of evil that keep voiding all investments apart from temporary reprieves.
This may also take on a morbid obsession and a PTSD like repeating of the torturous memory like a constant repeating playback in the mind, in an attempt to somehow assimilate the experience memories.
Or the child when grown up may keep having a tendency to gravitate towards those very same super hostile circumstances, in an attempt to go beyond them.
He may obsessively seek self-improvement, self-empowering, or self-transcendence.

In this situation, I see no way out apart from taking apart that dark prison cell of the heart brick by brick, and developing more and more courage to see/accept/transcend what’s behind each brick.
That is the singular life purpose for such a child.
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Insights today

1 – All that AFFECTS me about the outside world, people, situations etc. is MY SHADOW.
(That is why I am having deep resonance to those aspects/qualities that I witness outside, because those are in me too, and it is precisely that resonance that is causing the AFFECT).

2 – The ego is a protection against the SHADOW. The very reason the ego was created was to project the shadow and have various defenses against it.

3 – Viruses are subtle evil – parasitic organisms trying to survive, just like all evil is parasitic on the tree of life.

4 – “Deeper exhale for cleansing/emptying”, “Deeper inhale for inspiration/fullness”
Tip: Exhale until there is a full readiness to inhale. Inhale until there is a full readiness to exhale.

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On Fear, Contraction, Abuse, and Sociopaths

When there is a threat perceived by the senses (sensory input) we are jolted back into the body.
Have you ever noticed a toddler, how they startle easily?
My hypothesis is that, that is because they are only loosely in their body.
So any loud noise tends to startle them, which is something that jolts them back into the body (contraction impulse).
Abstractly put, the spectrum is:
Fear = Contraction(increased density) ————– Bliss = Expansion (decreased density)
And fear is a response to threat.
Bliss is a response to safety.

Continuous abuse tends to result in habitual contraction which is a result of constantly bracing for the fight or impact.
Mental abuse causes mental contraction.
Physical abuse causes physical contraction.
The labels of mental and physical are cursory, as compared to the base phenomenon happening which is similar – ‘contraction of energy’ or an increasing of ‘density’.
To understand this let’s consider another spectrum:
Finite(infinite density)(1)—————— Infinite(lowest density)(∞)
The greatest fear would be the greatest density/infinite density/singularity/black hole (the left of the spectrum).
The greatest bliss would be infinitely low density that permeates all of existence (the right of the spectrum).

Now, generally sociopaths are created in certain early childhood environments where there is a lot of abuse.
What is normal for a sociopath is abusive to others. It is relative.
So what I mean by abuse here is an exposure to a kind of rough, blunt, high density, and hard interaction.
So the child develops in accordance to this environment and quality of interaction sensitivity etc.
When this child meets other kids brought up in much softer and more sensitive environments he finds they are hurt by his ways of interaction, feeling all his interaction as abusive, and avoid him.

Another important thing to consider is, higher density naturally implies selfishness and lower density naturally implies empathy.
Because empathy is sensitivity.
The same energy thins out and spreads over to consider the other, expanding the circle of concern.
Whereas in high contraction, there is inherently a non-consideration of the other.
Look at the way people act under extreme fear or anger.
Does the person in front of them even matter when such a strong projection is put forth?
So take it far enough along the left in the spectrum towards fear or energy contraction and you have a sociopath.
The opposite of this would be a saint, whose energy is subtle, highly sensitive and shows very high sensitivity and empathy to all beings.

For a saintly person, do you want to know how a sociopath feels?
Just watch a horror film, that feeling of being wired and in the edge of your seat, is a CONTRACTION of your default state of energy, and that might be the default operating mode for a sociopath.
For a sociopath, do you want to know how a saint feels?
Just take a lot of ‘mdma’, you will experience a higher degree of the world of sensitivity and empathy.
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Transition from child to woman to man

manwomanchild

The symbology I attribute to child, woman, and man is as follows:
Child = Spirit
Woman = Heart
Man = Strength, Character, Action, Definition.

My hypothesis here is that (also based on my own experience):
We start off as spirit (infant/child)
Then our relationship with the mother (woman) forms our heart.
This also determines whether we will have a good heart or a dark heart, a closed heart or an open heart.
Thereafter once this process is complete, we go on to become the man via. the father and embrace the larger world/community.

So, every man is a woman (symbolically speaking, the way I described it above).
He grows into a man from the bed of the heart of a woman.
Similarly the woman then grows into being a man, which is like the plant emerging tall from the soil (symbol of phallus/obelisk).
That is why, if a child splits off the relationship/love with his mother, the results are disastrous.
He may try to kill himself – because of seeing himself as the creation of the mother, and the idea of “If the creator herself has rejected it, then I must reject it too”.
The child here is barred from loving anything, and is imprisoned in the dark night of soul, the dragon of chaos, because he/she needs love to emerge into form.
Whereas when the child splits off from the father alone, he may be filled with love, but have no direction of how to be or what to do in the world.

There are many other interesting branches opened up in this intuition.
For instance, if the woman hates/rejects the outer world in general, then that prohibits the child too from loving the world.
Because the osmotic transmission from the mother is that – “The world is terrible, you are better off hiding from it”
That imprint stays, and bars the child from bringing the world into his consciousness.
If the mother hates her body, then that imprint too gets across to the child as programming.
These programs get projected outward and the whole world and all the other physical people simply act as props for the manifestation of this deep metaphysical programming that has occurred.

We believe everyone lives in the same world? Really? Think again.
Each one of us lives in the unique artistry and tapestry of this programming and we literally live in different worlds entirely.
We understand each other from a deep connection to a shared being.
Somewhere the entirety of the collective human heart/mind is present within us, and we understand others to the extent to which we ourselves are connected to this.
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Deeper aspects about BDSM

bdsm

Spectrum: Polarization:
Delicate target -to- outside violent strong sadist ——— Strong violent sadist -to- outside vulnerable soft target
Submissive(2C), Controlled(3C) ———- Dominator(2C), Controller(3C)
Note: C = chakra
BDSM is a higher polarized version of regular domination and control facets, and it falls on the ends of the bell curve.
The dynamic is between the poles: [dominator – submissive], [controller, controlled].
But take it to the extreme and you get harcore BDSM.
And since this is a spectrum, there are mild, medium, high forms of it too before the extreme end.

The sadist denies his vulnerability while the masochist denies his strength.
So the 2 look for each other, to stabilize and balance their consciousness.

This game can be played until it is interesting.
The way to come out of it is to acknowledge your denied side.
For the dominator to accept his vulnerability.
For the submissive to accept his power.
The shadow of the submissive is the dominant.
The shadow of the dominant is the submissive.
You are seeing your own “projected repressed qualities” in the others you attract, and thereby completing the denied consciousness via consciousness of the attracted other who is lived through vicariously.

Submissive, controlled:
The image of self is cathected to a tender, vulnerable, soft target -> and the other is seen as the violent predator looking to attack and destroy you.
Dominant, controller:
The self is cathected to being strong, powerful, invulnerable -> and the other is seen as a weak vulnerable creature to be attacked.
Spectrums:
The submissive is trying to kill of his power ———————– The dominant is trying to kill off his vulnerability
Attachment to helplessness/powerlessness ———————– Attachment to total power and agency

To be in-between is painful.
So the tendency is mostly to polarize to any one end.
And since addiction works on denial primarily, each is addicted to the other.
So those denied aspects prevent wholeness and set up desires which can get overpowering, because ultimately they are a desire to bring the repressed part into consciousness via. the other.
So the more your deny yourself a pole, the more extreme the desire gets to obtain that pole through the other in consciousness.
The beauty is, both recognize each other.
The dominator lives the vulnerability vicariously through the submissive he/she attacks.
The submissive lives the dominator role vicariously by receiving his/her power.

Society and conventional relationships too function on some degree of polarization.
In the typical societal dynamic -> girl = submissive, guy = dominant.
This is acceptable and the norm. If the guy or girl is extremely dominant or submissive respectively, then one moves further from the norm but is still somewhat accepted.
However, to be a dominant girl or a submissive guy falls out-of-sync with the polarization of conventional/typical society.
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The art of seduction

sexy-woman-diffuse-abstract

The art of seduction is to build the potential energy of attraction.
You make the prospect of intimate pleasure as alluring as you can, but you give only enough that it keeps the interest building.
If you give too much the interest goes down.
If you give too little, the interest is lost.
So you keep giving reinforcements just enough to keep the interest.
At the same time, you keep demonstrating your desirability via. status, power, style, domination, worthiness etc.
And then when you finally give it to them, there is a large discharge of potential energy towards you manifesting as them wanting you so bad.
It is physically evident how much the other wants you.
And then you again leave an optimal gap and give cues now and then.
The thing about seduction is that, its all about what’s behind the translucent curtain.
You veil the desired object just enough that your imagination fills up the gap with fascinating allure.
If you reveal too much – the mystery is over, and the literal is there.
If you reveal too little – there is not enough interest to pursue.
Also,if too little is revealed the hope of attainability may be lost and it might be abandoned as involving too much effort.

In seduction, there is a play between:
seducer -> seduced.
The seducer plays the game of touch me/touch me not.
The seduced waits and longs for the seducer to give in and release the withholding.
This seduction applies not only in the sexual area but it could apply to any area where there is a need.
A need for validation, attention, affection, care, nurture, support, entertainment, love, understanding.
So all seduction involves perceiving WHAT THE OTHER NEEDS DEEPLY.
Deeper their need, and greater your ability to meet it fully, greater is the potential ability to play seduction.
Because you essentially have a reward with you – which is I would say similar to 2 drags of high quality coke.
So then using this reward one plays the game of alternating between the poles of withholding and giving.
This can be incredibly addictive to both parties, the seducer who is in power and the seduced who is addicted to this.
Take this too far and make it too unfair and remove all other sources of fulfillment of that need, and we would call it enslavement.
When in balance, it is very interesting, engaging, and addicting.
Any human need can be used for seduction.
And ultimately seduction is used by the seducer for ‘power and control’.
It is a game like any other game (computer game etc.)
Mysterious enough to want to uncover unravel demystify pursue —-AND—–
revealing enough to hold tangible promise and hope —–AND—- attainable enough by clear positive feedback as one progresses towards the goal.
So the majority of seduction is a game of illusions and imagination.
The allure is in the imagination only.
The seducer plays on your own imagination by giving the right cues, reinforcement, and concealment/mystery, using the principle of how any good game is made.
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True persona vs. False persona

true-false

There are various equivalent spectrums:
High spirit power —————– Low spirit power
God attuned Ego/Self ———– Distant tuned Ego/Self
Vitality —————————— Depression
Coherence/Effortless harmony ———– Chaotic/Efforted harmony
Seratonin, Dopamine abundance ———- Seratonin Dopamine scarcity
Sun ———————— Moon
Truth ———————- Falsity
Giver ———————- Taker
Source ——————– Parasite
Home ——————— Exile
Abundance ————– Scarcity

The false persona needs borrowed energy to live OR it must live super frugally.
The god attuned persona on the other hand does not need energy from anybody else or anything, it has an infinite source of power within itself.
The false persona suffers when the true persona has not been cut off.
The constant conflict between the false person and the true persona manifests as disharmony and suffering.
Like 2 radio frequencies interfering with each other creating a lot of noise (which is suffering in this context).
When the false persona entirely cuts off the true persona, it lives without suffering and in full disconnection from abundance.
So such a persona lives purely opportunistically.
Since all connection is derived from connection to the true self, so a total severing of that connection is also a total severing of love.
So then the false persona works as an independent agent solely caring about its advantage and using the world as much as it can for its benefit.
Whereas the person who still has connection to his true self experiences a divide between:
Abundance/True self ———————————- Scarcity/False self
Service to other —————————————- Service to self
There are various degrees of polarization along this line.
People may fluctuate and move along this line experiencing suffering THROUGHOUT from the conflicting values of the 2 sides.
After all, Conflict = Suffering.
No Conflict = No suffering.
If you polarize to any one end, you would not suffer.
However when you are in the middle, there is a choice.
What will you choose?
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Society and the chakras

spiral-dynamics

In a society run primarily in 1C, 2C, & 3C, life revolves more or less around these 3 chakra values with some fringe activity in the 4C,5C, 6C, & 7C.
Generally societies have a center of gravity which forms its nucleus and all the other chakras orient around the center, which is the organizing principle.

Societal levels:
1C(physical) = The physical power/fitness/looks/health marketplace.
Here the rule would be ‘might is right’.

2C(informal/group/relationship status) = The socio-sexual marketplace. Dealing with personality and seduction. Here the rule is ‘seduction and influence wins’.

3C(formal/political/societal status) = The socio-political marketplace of power/authority/influence/certifications/proven-worth. Here the rule is ‘formal positions of power/control/possession win’

So the 3 levels are of increasing scope from – individual -> group -> society.
And there is status and value attributed to each of these levels.

If society was run with the center of gravity in the 4C, 5C and 6C, here are some possibilities of what that might look like:
4C society = altruism, cooperation, willingness to see/understand, willingness to include(love), culture-centric pov, DEEP and TRUE interests (not vested interest) for the thing in and of itself and for its own sake.

5C society = ecological understanding, truth/wisdom seeking, planet-centric pov, symbolic level depth understandings (motifs, hieroglyphs, mythologies), gestalt vision, harmony, pure fundamental science.

6C society = seeking the philosophers stone, true vision, understanding various worlds/povs and altered states of consciousness, grounding in the pov of ‘all is consciousness’ as the foundation, intuitive depths, instant knowing, psychic potentials, formless in-sight, w-holistic, law of ONE etc.

7C society = non-local, non-dual, quantum, non-linear, formless, transcendence of time-space, powers beyond imagination etc.
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Sensations, Psychological activity, and Integration

There are multiple sensations of chaos/pain -> simultaneously happening in:
1 – Sensation/physical reality
2 – Mind/psychological reality
One is not the cause of the other.
Rather both are simultaneous.
1 – Every sensation carries the potential for the psychological effects
2 – Psychological effects carry the potential for sensational effects.
[Sensation effects Psychological effects] = Are ONE, they come together
Focus shifts:
1 – However it is possible to focus on the sensation alone.
2 – OR It is possible to focus solely on psychological effects.
Generally the psychological reality is much more complex that the bare sensation and it can trigger a world of thoughts/memories.
1 – If one wants to rest, then it is possible to simply rest on sensation which by virtue of focus suspends the psychological animation/activity. [Depression – depression by itself is simply rest]
One then experiences only pure sensation with no interpretation.
2 – If one wants to delve into the psychological world of the sensations, then a channel of expression such as free-writing can reveal all the webs of meaning of potential opened up by the sensation.
Here one can get absorbed into all the narratives, stories, webs and principles.

‘Attention/Focus’ is what limits reality to one or the other.
Can one pay attention to the sensation and thought together?
Yes, to an extent, but there is a limitation here – it can tire you quickly.
As a rule:
1 – Divided attention tends to tire – because it takes a lot of energy.
2 – Single minded attention tends to relax – because it uses a much thinner stream of directed energy.
So interestingly, paying attention reduces energy expenditure since the reservoir of energy available is channeled.
That is how people can do focused work for many hours(one thing is relevant, rest is irrelevant), but when they are restless with nothing to do(all is relevant), they can get depleted very rapidly.
It is similar to a circuit.
– If the circuit is not properly closed, then the energy leaks in a lot of places.
– If it is fully closed, then energy is conserved.
The next question though will be about the focus structures themselves.
‘Focus structures’ are driven by desire.
But desire is usually shaped by self-concept/ego-concept structures created in the early years.
Then there is the deeper archetypal desires of your self/soul which are more global and abstract.
So generally again there is a dichotomy here:
1 – If your ego-concept aligns fairly well with your soul/deeper desire -> you function and explore happily within the structure of your ego in the world.
2 – If your ego-concept is distant from your soul desire (your true wisdom) -> the soul will drive most of the efforts into correcting that and seeking learning.

In point 2, that disharmony = pain, and this pain will drive you towards the task of acquiring the necessary understanding to bridge the gap that will integrate and reshape the self-concept.
In such a case, there may be a movement towards dissolution of structure and entering the deeper chaos (the chaos is from lack of conscious nurture) again to realign with your soul-potentials which were abandoned earlier.
Why is there a dissolution? – because probably the structure has already served its purpose and most of its potentials have been explored OR it could be from having many neglected potentials which were not included in your early structure, necessitating integration work via. intuiting of higher order principles as executive agents for the reassembly.