Let’s take 2 cases:
1. When you are in your own space.
2. When you are in a shared space with others.
When you are in your own space,
Various interests bubble up into your mind,
And the strongest one usually gets your attention/focus/investment/energy.
When you are in a shared group-space with others,
Then the different people are in a relationship with each other.
The following questions come up:
# Who is going to set the frame?
Will there be multiple smaller frames between the people?
Will the frame organically emerge or will it be a chaos?
# Who is naturally receiving? Who is naturally emitting?
# Who is open/malleable? Who is rigid/closed?
# What are the intentions/expectations of the various people around?
# Where are each of these people coming from?
# What is the common larger frame? What are the expectations? cultural structs? societal structs? governing that.
# What can I say, what can I not say?
# What are the set of possible topics I can speak about?
All this can be sensed.
All of these come under “social dynamics”.
This invariably happens when a group of people get together and create a group space.
Expansion and Contraction,
Is the constant pulse of life.
The heart is expanding-contracting,
The lungs are expanding-contracting,
The pulse at your nerves is expanding-contracting,
The digestive system peristalsis is constantly pumping,
Even at the subtle layers,
Your mind also expands and contracts,
Your emotion also expands and contracts,
Wakefulness also expands and contracts,
Really life and death are the grandest expansions and contractions.
The better you are at releasing trapped stuff,
The more you can take in, in the next cycle.
Different masters have different kriyas or techniques for this purpose.
# Osho’s Dynamic Meditation
# Sadhguru’s Shambhavi Mahamudra Kriya
# Sri Sri Ravishankar’s Sudarshana Kriya
And so on.
Journaling/Writing is an excellent way too.
We all need to purge things from our lives that do not serve us anymore.
The idea is to keep the flow going.
Empty yourself fully, to receive fully again.
And this dance goes on,
Carrying you through evolution itself.
A deep trend I observe in society is:
Maternal instinct is deified —while— Sexual instinct is demonized.
Are they not the 2 sides of the same coin?
Ultimately isn’t the sexual instinct prior to the maternal instinct itself?
How would the children even happen without sex?
The mother’s urge to play and protect the child, is it not the same as the male’s urge to protect and play with the opposite-sex?
Why is the sexual instinct and mothering instinct treated like they belong to 2 different levels of reality?
Aren’t both of them part of the same nature?
And it is totally prevalent across the entire animal kingdom.
What gives the mothering instinct is also driven by hormones only, just as all of sex-instinct too is driven by hormones.
Why is the mothering instinct elevated to a different level of reality?
It is considered a blasphemy even to think about it.
This is a vast topic, but just wanted to share this as food for thought.
This is a really vast topic.
I’ll try to summarize some salient points.
Social interactions, camaraderie, and group eros, are mostly about energetic tuning. Everyone tunes into a similar energy space/context.
The words and activities then exchanged, are all a play, happening within the common context.
If you can harmonize, tune in, to the other’s/group’s energy signature, then you can say whatever you want, and it will be globally accepted.
On the other hand, if your energy signature does not tune into the other’s/group’s energy, then your very presence itself will feel awkward, even if you choose to say nothing.
So the essence of social interaction is = “energy/context tuning/harmonization”.
It is a certain trance, a certain absorption.
You bridge the distance between: Where you are, and where the other is.
There are different combinations possible:
# You go all the way to them [Codependent]
# They come all the way to you [Narcissist]
# You go all the way to them and then they come all the way to you [My preference].
# Both meet somewhere in the middle [Common dissociation, The general social reality and formal situations fall here].
So essentially all interaction/communion = is about bridging the distance, and closing the gap.
So really, the capacity you have for communion in social interactions depends on your conditioning/investment/interest or desire.
If you are relatively de-conditioned, then you have to make the stretch to meet the conditioned others. Often they cannot come to you. You go to them.
Situational friendships are because both the people are tuned to a common context, which is like the 4th combination in my list.
These friendships fade, when the common context is vacated.
A person permanently in the societal frame, has substantially repressed his individuality, and entirely invested in the middle ground. He enjoys communion at all times, but at the cost of his deeper individuality.
On the other hand, a hermit might happen when his conditioning is such that meeting others is too much of a stretch. So he lives in his own space/authenticity, until the other comes to him.
Every compliment you give,
Is more about you than the other.
# What you chose to see.
# How much you chose to see.
# How you chose to see.
Conversely, the same would apply,
To the criticisms you give too.
They too indicate,
# What you chose to see.
# How much you chose to see.
# How you chose to see.
Balanced internal life = Balanced external life.
Extreme internal life = Extreme external life.
Total internal awareness = Total external awareness
Internal extreme tunneled investments = External extreme tunneled investments.
Internal imbalances => reflected in the external as external imbalances.
Many extreme people view relationship as:
Conflict, Resistance, Strife, War, Violence, Pain.
The problem here is of degree and not of essence.
Like if I take a knife and ever so gently graze your skin, it will feel scintillating.
But if I do it with more force, it will cut the skin, sharply hurt, and leave a bruise.
So the problem in the latter case was simply the intensity.
In a world filled with limitation of various degrees,
If we try to do things with unlimited passion,
Either we will break or the thing will break.
Relationships are a limited possibility.
It has a certain place, a certain potential,
After which it will start to hurt and pain more and more.
This kind of violence can be addictive too,
Because it is controlled by you.
I would think this is a similar reason,
Why people cut themselves.
Because it is a pain that you can control and administer to yourself.
So by fighting with people, even if it hurts, you are controlling it.
And that might give a relief at a different level.
You could similarly, subject yourself to controlled mental pain too,
Say by researching on all sorts of painful topics,
Because then you are in control, you are subjecting yourself to it.
Generally what happens is a full cycle.
The person is maybe highly sensitive,
And was subjected to physical, relational, or mental violence.
Again the violence here is because of degree, and not essence.
Like if a blind person high five’s you on the nose by mistake.
High five is a cool thing, on your hands, but not on your nose.
So, then the person in later life,
In order to regain a sense of control,
May subject himself to the same abuse and recreate those feelings.
The huge difference in the second run of those feelings is that,
He inflicts them upon himself, so that gives him back his sense of control,
And allays the fear, paranoia, and expectation.
I am interested in extreme experiences,
Internally or externally induced,
Experiences that give me liberation, powers, freedom,
Experiences that release or change the spell I find myself in now,
Experiences that convey and indubitably prove to me,
The emptiness and freedom inherent in the field.
When something is changed,
Freedom from that thing is straightaway proved.