Tag: Philosophy

Posted on

The world is a sensation

The entire world appears to us as a sensation.
The “world” is a sensation in consciousness.
The world is literally a FELT PRESENCE.
So if I have to take you out of this world,
All I have to is remove your sensation of the world
[I do not have to fly you to outer-space]

Let’s take 4 aspects: Sensation -> Mind -> Feeling -> Intuition
The food for the mind is sensation.
Feeling tells you if the sensation is acceptable/good or unacceptable/bad (which is again based on the mind’s mentation about it)
Intuition taps on all the symbolic images (imaginal/imaginations) opened up by the sensation.

Knowledge is a sensation too.
Supposing you go onto the stage and out of stage fear and anxiety you go blank
What has really happened?
You have lost touch with the SENSATION of that knowledge (the sensation is buried and overpowered by much louder and grosser energies of fear/anxiety/fight-flight which have shifted your entire perception – drowning out the sensation of your knowledge completely in your CONTEXT now)
You know that you know when you feel the sensation of that knowing.

That is how even when a person is totally alone,
He may feel no loneliness at all, and may even feel great connection.
Why? Because he carries the “SENSATION” of being connected.
And the world IS the sensation of it.

The opposite also can happen,
You can be in a place full of 1000s of people who love you,
and feel NO SENSATION of it.
This would mean those 1000s of people DO NOT EXIST to you because the SENSATION of them is absent.
Posted on

The expenditure of karmic energy potentials

Van_Gogh_Starry_Night

I see experience as a curriculum of ‘karmic energy potentials’ for this lifetime.
Analogy:
Like the picture here showing Van Gogh’s famous starry sky, we could visualize ourselves as the whole space(the whole field) in true essence, and all the stars are all the container of various potential experiences we are to experience in this life.
Or I could say our soul/heart contains all these star experience potentials.
Each star then continuously expends its energy.
There are stars of various sizes, and the brightest ones tend to take up the most of our attention and may represent core characteristics of our identity whose qualities shine on us no matter where we are on this field.

Our observer point then starts accelerating along a certain path – the orbit of which is created such that we would have drunk the experience from all the stars energy on completion.
We have a certain degree of choice energy embedded in the observer point too.
So generally we choose to live through the pleasurable ones first (large gas giants and low density stars – which represent high vibrations) and identify our self as them (the white fish in yin-yang) and this forms the day period of our lives, and when all the pleasure-stars have exhausted their fuel of experience, they all vanish and we enter the night of our lives and experience all the other wonders and terrors of the various smaller night stars which mostly represent our repressed shadows/non-egoic potentials (dis-identified disavowed parts under the iceberg). This night journey represents the dark night of soul which our heart lives through.

Then once all the difficult dense energy stars (sadness, grief, pain etc. and the low vibration parts) exhaust their potentials too, then the journey completes itself and we are freed from the heart and union with the formless field as DELIGHT.
Posted on

Poetic reflections – Dark night of the soul

snowyisolated

Photo credit: Todd Hito Photography

I feel remote, separate,
forlorn, far away, limbo-like,
deeply-lost, dis-connected,
so lonely, so alone, so solitary,
confined, isolated, deserted,
unrelatable, abandoned, darkness,
dread, trance, disparagement,
hopelessness, powerlessness, smallness,
deep sadness, grief, and emptiness.

I trudge and amble along
Faint reveries from the past bubble up in me
Time has slowed down to a crawl
I feel desolate and frozen
I feel my will and resolve weakening
Moods of despair thwart my movement
But I keep moving from the power of my faith

My body and soul are weary/enervated/sapped/drained
I drag my cross as I walk onward into the desert
My body is a bed of sensation and I acutely sense all of it
My body feels leaden/dead/heavy/old/saturnine/lethargic

I’m inside a glass cage
I cannot touch anyone and nobody can touch me
I walk into the foggy night praying for transformation
Anxieties, doubts, loneliness, confusions and fears are my frequent companions
They are my friends in this journey
I work with each of them patiently and with my highest compassion

My past is like a distant dream
What is ahead of me is a liminal frontier
Posted on

Contemplations on the dark night of the soul

Action - Reaction concept

The background memory of the “dark night of the soul/entry into the underworld/dragon of chaos” is what will give me “enjoyment and meaning” for future good experiences?

And similarly, isn’t it so that I perceived the “dark night of the soul” itself from the memory of previously good experiences and hopes?

I see an interplay of foreground and background everywhere:
Life is life because of death in the background.
Death is death because of life in the background.
The 2 mutually need each other for their own BEING.
So the dark night of soul suffering inevitably paves the way for supreme enjoyment.
Similarly, the dark night itself showed that you have had supreme enjoyments in the past, whose loss you lament when you compare your current reality (dark night) to that of the memory you carry.

[bg = background
fg = foreground]

Dissolution process:
…DNOS (Bad memories) ongoing —–<—— Good memories bg

Resurrection process:
DNOS (Bad memories bg) ——–>—— Good memories ongoing…

Chaos bg ——>——– Order fg ongoing…
…Chaos fg ongoing ——-<——– Order bg

Death bg ——>———- Life ongoing…
Death ongoing… ——–<———- Life bg

I intuit these pendulum swings ultimately serve EVOLUTION/GROWTH/WISDOM (the pearl beyond price). This is a higher context to view one’s whole life from by a far stretch. However the HIGHEST of the HIGHEST contexts is the MYSTERY/UNKNOWN.
I can only intuit now from my level of understanding and knowledge.

Also the experiences are holographic/total/analogy/singular, in the NOW. This NOW also contains the [MEMORY->EXPECTATION] FRAMES/LENSES which “condition/shape/structure” perception accordingly.
They may also contain high flavors of paradoxical “presence of absence/presence of loss” which is essentially the witnessing of dissolution/death-process/decathection-process of a certain energy structure = we term as GRIEF.
Grief is the chaos that ensues when a structure is lost, and a hole is created which has to be restitched and re-synthesized with the WHOLE.

Generally for people, ordinary loss is like ONE hole of chaos in their fabric of reality.
But in the dark night of soul, it is the chaos underneath that swallows the entire fabric into itself -> and from that a new much larger structure would potentially emerge.

To give an analogy:
Ordinary losses are like being bitten by a animal, i.e. a small hole of chaos in a large body of order.
You attend to you wound, nurse it and it heals.

The dark night of soul is on the other hand is like a TOTAL loss, like being eaten alive completely by a t-rex, the old you is completely dissolved and after a period of transformation you open your new eyes as the t-rex once your energy is distilled/extracted/integrated into its structure.

It is the ultimate breakdown and the ultimate resurrection.
That is why the masters have always said ->
Deeper the dark night, greater the inquiry = greater the resurrection/greater the upliftment.
The lower you go -> The higher you rise.
The darker the night -> The brighter the day.
The law is illumination by contrast.
The other principles I see that apply are: Alchemy/Sublimation.

How far you are willing and travel into chaos? -> That will be how far of an increase in the deepest order you will experience.
Posted on

Realize your source and live from there

My ego is mostly about – detect threat -> ward off threat
If there is no immediate threat around me, I try to foresee threats and start preparing for them.
What is fear?
Fear of being attacked.
The anticipation of being attacked.
Now I fear everyone and everything.
This fear forms the bricks of my heart prison.
As I remove each brick, I see each corresponding fear.
And I can see huge common clouds of increasing size.
Which means all these fears are coming from a “common large archetypal threat” whose class spawns the “individual instances of people/insects/situations” whatever they may be.
There is a hierarchy I perceive here too – from literal to the abstract.
Archetype is the class -> whose influence is carried by the beings who serve as its agents.
So I feel and make friends with the archetype itself or ask for forgiveness/contemplate on it, and live through whatever message that has for me, and I feel that dissolves the nexus of the multifarious threats coming from it.

All resolutions happen in the deep archetypal realms I feel.
The general context of our lives only reflects the larger puppeteers’ actions of moving the strings of the many characters and situations.
Fear and control go together.
Someone can control you, only once they install fear in you.
I thought – Create the correct environment in your psyche, use the correct deterrents and defenses to repel all parasitic beings.
Just like how one can keep one’s backyard clean – avoid wasp nests etc. – by planting repelling plants, coating with soap water solutions, and adding decoys, and so on.
Let the predator go about his business and leave you alone to do yours.
I think the purpose of the predator from my pov is to learn to transcend and protect myself from it – it’s a game.
Add beautiful repellents in your backyard (metaphor) -> and when there is a will there is a way -> there are so many things waiting for me to adopt them and cleanse myself of all the predators inside -> be it subtle ones like viruses in my gut and body, or overt ones like painful people around me.

I however see another issue, that my action will simply send the predator to someone else.
So should I be the great one, and withstand the predator, to save someone else?
That doesnt make sense in the larger picture – that looks like martyrdom, and it doesnt serve anything.
Others are tough enough, the creator upholds them, not me.
I am not responsible for protecting others from the TRUTH – that the world has both light and dark forces, and creation and destruction forces.
Such a protection harms them rather than help them.
They are going to live in dependence and fear anyway.
My responsibility is to affix myself with my own oxygen mask first.
This will allow me to overflow with power.
Then I can stand as an example as to how to be stand on your own feet, with vitality, with your own strength and knowledge, having conquered all your parasites/shadows/destructive, impairing, disabling, fears, and forces.
My service is my living example and exposition to others.
My being and commitment to abide with god/truth is my service.

Now there are some philosophical questions here.
Is the predator bad? —————- Is the exterminator bad?
Is the virus bad? ——————- Is the anti-virus bad?
Is action bad? ———————- Is re-action bad?
Is attack bad? ———————- Is defense bad?
This is like the chicken and egg problem.
It is cyclic.
What comes first?
Because the issue is that -> If I take the position of the “predator/virus/action/attack” -> It sees the opposite force “exterminator/anti-virus/re-action/defense” as the enemy.
If I take the position of the self-sufficient one -> then the enemy is these parasites who live dependent lives by hunting/attacking others.
So it is war of forces of desire/force.
Light desires/forces ———– Dark desires/forces
The linearity is only in the mind’s conception, in reality it all happens now instantaneously.
We have to take a position that transcends morality.
Because in the duality there are both:
life enhancing forces/intrinsic power ——— life diminishing forces/parasitic power
First I have to realize my own polarization.
I definitely identify and feel intrinsic life enhancement as the core in me.
All actions that I do, serve this.
So my task is to simply be more of my own true desire and let all my actions reflect who I am.
In other words, I “BE” THE CHARACTER I am meant to be and play the “God’s will role” fully.

Every fear is a call to toughen up/see/understand/conquer/master.
Develop and nurture your force until it rises above everything.
The enneagrams, myers briggs type, archetype identification, numerology, astrology – star signs etc. all serve in finding your source/power in the field.
These maps may initially serve as a guide to orient and triangulate your true position.
One has to FEEL one’s way through resonance.
RESONANCE is the compass.
It is all in FEELING your way through.
Each person’s “source/home position” is different, and that source position is their source of spirit.
When operating from there you are operating from what the creator intended you to be vs. this strange disconnected ego pov we find ourselves as which feeds from the source from afar, like faint moonlight.
Move towards your source, and journey into the dark night until you find it.
Find the “infinite power point” within yourself and then live from there as an example to show ‘WHAT POSSIBILITY EXISTS for each person”.

I want to be in alignment with the highest truth/highest will/highest vision/highest context – call it truth/love/god etc. that is secondary to me.
I want to dissolve all creation and BE the unmanifest/the highest solvent and live from there in absolute freedom.
Find the sun within you, and live from there.
Posted on

Beyond Freedom

Even freedom is relative.
Freedom is only relative to YOUR NOTION, and not what is actually available to you around you.
Because I could always tell myself that I have a 100 other things most people do not have.
But does that make me feel free?
That makes me mentally feel good – as a concept, but that’s about it.
I cannot feel it powerfully.
The lifetime of the mental feeling of freedom is very short lived and teeny.
Freedom is an inner condition of abundant spirit.
“You are what you love and not what loves you” – I read this quote today and felt the truth of it.

“To want to gain Freedom” is again operating in a paradigm that also contains the fear of losing it.
So wanting anything carries an implicit fear of the loss of the thing.
So what is beyond freedom? That is my contemplation.
Posted on

Distillation of insights

‘All is appearance’
‘The unmanifest far transcends all of the manifest’
‘All can change’
‘The real is NOW’
‘Timelines/time are within the NOW’,
‘Yin-yang cycles/alternations/pendulum-swings are happening across all scales’
‘The movement of energy is a mystery and I am that mystery’
‘There is only ‘singular’ being, and this being is being its nature of ‘mystery”
‘Control is an appearance’
‘Free-will is an appearance’
‘Conscious experience is conditioned by a vast subconscious(which can be intuited)’
‘All is one/All is energy/I am THAT energy’
‘There is only experience(inward or outward)’
‘All mental knowledge is through contrast (duality)’
‘There is nothing to fear, because whatever is lost is anyways what one is not’
‘The self and knowledge are memory, but memory is not me but an accumulation’
‘Desire creates and upholds consciousness itself’
‘Desire -> Consciousness[Energy[Mind -> Body]]’
‘Let all of you serve your highest truth’
‘There is no causation, There is only emergence’
‘We are the spontaneous unfolding of karmic potential’
‘We are evolution itself’
Posted on

Chronic anger develops from Chronic violation

emergence

Say you are a child.
And your parents were over-controlling, over-protective, over-bearing, over-intrusive, dominating, smothering, suffocating, over-powering, and infringed on you in EVERY POSSIBLE WAY.
Say they imposed tyranny on you, threatened you in all sorts of ways (psychological, mental, physical), played all sorts of emotionally debilitating games, and constantly used guilting and shaming to get you to comply.
Let’s say, whenever you raised resistance they decried it, minimized it, laughed at it, brushed it away, denied it, gas-lighted it (mind-gaming, perception-blaming), performed circular arguments, somehow twisted the blame back to you, guilted you for even raising resistance, mind-gamed you into thinking it was unreasonable and actually your fault, and so on.
Imagine, this was taken a level even further and you were physically beaten into submission as brutally as possible, until you were filled with nothing but fear and terror.
Supposing they opposed your every attempt to individuate yourself or separate yourself from them, and thwarted every such effort on your part.
Say, they always wanted you to be their slave(but they would never admit this), and fit their image, and be exactly the way they want you to be (a clone of them or living up to their ideal/role/expectation), and always be under their control.
Now, let’s add to the suffering. Supposing you had a sibling whose only mission in life was to compete with you and actively and violently suppress all of your expression and minimize everything that you can possibly do.
Would this not be an EXTRAORDINARY hostile environment for you to grow up in?
Would not your life purpose become just about emerging from all these hostile forces and gain the most basic of freedom and liberty?

When a child is faced with this sort of debilitating, imprisoning, torturous, blind, abusive, crippling, stifling, controlling, maddening, and disabling environment, he shrinks in terror and seals oneself off from relationship (killing off the possibility of love).
In this heart of darkness (like a dark prison cell with a window), the child looks out at the world from the grilled window.
This dark cell the child creates is the protective cover of the heart against this level of assault and it permanently seals off many many possibilities of relationship with the world.
The dark cell always serves as a reminder and houses all the traumatic memory in its very walls.
Every time these situations were faced, tremendous rage and anger was aroused, as a protective system against the assault, but no amount of rage could do anything to stop it.
The child is absolutely powerless and helpless no matter HOW HARD he tries.
This sends him into a deep despair.
Should he fight to live? OR should he dissociate and just let himself die?
If the former option is chosen:
A super high degree of rage becomes the default mode of being because there is always a background of infinite threat against which one has to defend and fight.
An “extreme fear and defense/attack” disposition becomes the default against an infinitely threatening environment and others.
Life itself is then perceived as an ‘extremely hostile other’ that is out to destroy the child against which the child is woefully under-powered to fight.
This takes on archetypal/mythical levels of reality penetration, and thereafter the child will live his whole life in background FEAR AND TERROR – and live in a state of being ever-ready to violently fight at the most primitive levels.
The default mode of perception is of SUPERLATIVE THREAT and SUPERLATIVE DEFENSE.
The ATTACK is nothing but Pre-emptive defense.
Defense is the first goal and attack is from the hope of destroying the threat so that one can do away with the NEED AND PREOCCUPATION AND FEAR about defending.
This leads to compulsive power seeking which can take on multifarious forms such as – physical domination, emotional domination, intellectual domination, social power and status seeking, and so on.
If the latter option of death is chosen:
It could also take on the reverse side of seeking to submit/surrender/give up/self-abnegate/die because that also ends the conflict.
Both the choices of:
Extreme fight ——————- Extreme surrender
They both look like opposites, but the unity in them is that, both endeavor to END conflict, and “suffering” is always from conflict.
The child may alternate too between the 2 options:
Rage at one time —————– Feel depressed and empty at another
Ultimately, the more the child deeply sees and looks into the matter, a lot of dross falls away, and it leads to singular truth seeking.
What is the truth of existence? Why is it so hostile to me? Am I guilty of something? How am I to ever emerge from this hellish circumstance? How can I heal this? Should I fight to live or just resign and die?
This kind of metaphysical preoccupation plagues the child’s mind.
He can never invest in anything like ordinary people do, because his heart carries all the frightening memories of evil that keep voiding all investments apart from temporary reprieves.
This may also take on a morbid obsession and a PTSD like repeating of the torturous memory like a constant repeating playback in the mind, in an attempt to somehow assimilate the experience memories.
Or the child when grown up may keep having a tendency to gravitate towards those very same super hostile circumstances, in an attempt to go beyond them.
He may obsessively seek self-improvement, self-empowering, or self-transcendence.

In this situation, I see no way out apart from taking apart that dark prison cell of the heart brick by brick, and developing more and more courage to see/accept/transcend what’s behind each brick.
That is the singular life purpose for such a child.
Posted on

Consciousness – luminance and focus

Luminance variable:
Range: bright ———– dark
Focus variable:
Range: total chaos ———– total focus

Here are some examples of different states.

Brightest consciousness (left = total chaos, right = total focus)

brightconsciousness

Dull consciousness (left = total chaos, right = total focus)

dullconsciousness

Average consciousness (medium brightness) (left = partial chaos, right = total focus)
This illustrates a case, where there is partial chaos in consciousness.
Here, like multiple tv signals overlapping along with a background noise, one perceives many frames of reality simultaneously and weakly.

average chaos clear
Posted on

Desire transcends consciousness itself

Desire is what makes something real.
Desire is what imbues reality to that which we desire.
Desire is the soul.
Desire is what makes us conscious at all.
With the fading of desire, consciousness fades too.
Desire for the world is what makes the world real.
Once desire for the world fades, the previously real world fades into illusion.
It is exactly like how the desire for the movie makes the movie real.
The minute you lose all interest in the movie, the movie is just a light-show, an illusion, and you find yourself back in the theater seat.

Desire = Interest = Investment
Your desire is what gives reality to the world and its objects, to this physical reality, and even to the mental reality.
The ‘world’ is an object in your consciousness.
Desire -> Consciousness[Mind -> Body and World]
Mind is the object of consciousness.
And the body and world are objects of the mind.
Your mental interest makes the body and world come alive.
Lose desire, and you return to the infinite unborn unmanifest emptiness.
Desire is the ‘reality giver’ to all of the manifest in all its forms.
Our desire gives life to the entire world and all its beings.