Tag: Abstract

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All practices/doing crystallize the very structures that justify them

Every ‘doing’ is driven by a structure.
Like say, you want to make your life more meaningful.
You feel that desire in you that drives you to do things in order to achieve the same.
So now you are invested in the ‘doing’, the verb/action of it.
But ‘doing’ is impossible, unless there is a belief structure in place to validate it in the first place.
So the investment in ‘doing’ fortifies, crystallizes, and solidifies the very structure that justifies it (in you consciousness).
For example, only if you believe, your current life is not meaningful enough [Abstract notation: X is not enough] will you have the doing energy/force itself arise.
Another example would be, you defend only when you have something to protect.
If you have nothing to protect, then defense would vanish too.
So all doing is a mirror to your belief structures.

Like say, if you believe life is terrible and you also believe that you can escape it with effort, then these 2 stacked belief structures will initiate a lot of doing energy in order to make life good and escape the terrible parts.
The interesting aspect in this example here is that, the 2 stacked beliefs initiate the doing.
So there can be multiple stacked layers of beliefs.
Let’s say layer 2 of this belief stack falls apart – i.e. the belief that this terrible life can be escaped is dissolved.
Then, the person is left to experience his original belief that life is terrible. He will now feel the terribleness of life and feel powerless to escape it because the belief that it can be escaped has been dissolved.
So in work towards self-transcendence, such regression of belief structures can materialize hellish despair like states of mind.
That is the DARK SIDE of self-transcendence.
The people who seek it, usually suffer a GREAT deal.
Because what can be the motivation for self-transcendence intense seeking.
It is a deep deep core belief that life is abjectly terrible.
So in the final stages of self-transcendence, like they say, a finger nail can block the sun.
Similarly, you might encounter the worst root belief in your stack – the worst fear, the worst terror or condition, just before you totally let go.
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Journey into my deepest values

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What I am is ultimately what I value.
As I go deep into my contemplative journey,
To discover my truest and deepest value,
To discover my true original essence,
I am plunged into a catharsis, a purging

I listen to myself deeply,
And ask, what do you love
I go silent and try to feel the answer, the vibration
As I journey into this question
I feel like I’m drawn more and more into an abyss
I am taken away from the world of forms
Into subtle boundless feelings
I’m am unable to go much further for much longer
As my ego pulls my “focus” back on the world of form

The journey within takes me into an abyss, a catatonia, a coma like state, a formless state, a state approaching deep sleep.
A pure boundless/infinite feeling space.
By this I can see, that my love for specific forms has been lost.
What I love/value now, has become much more diffuse and subtle.

And in this alchemical journey,
I feel like my value is vacating this world.
I am being drawn to the ocean depths of my psyche.
The dark deep blue where very little light is present.
I cannot see anything here
I only feel, all is “feeling” here

In this condition, it is clear that the job of my ego now is to let go.
My soul cathexis has vacated its structures,
It therefore no longer has energy to BE.
It is undergoing an organic dissolution
I feel like I’ve entered and ventured so deep into the ocean waters
I have lost my desire for the surface waters

All my attachments pull on me
It is as if your monthly salary is gradually being reduced
And this is straining the edifice of all of my lifestyle
I let go more and more of form
Until there is no-thing
Until there is no-thing left to lose anymore

This brings the transcendent void, infinite diffused feeling focus.
I am now a deep ocean creature and live in a mystical no-thingness subtle space
This state reminds me of sleep, it approaches it.
With more and more relinquishing of attachment I am able to go deeper and deeper.
Trust becomes a major issue, and fears kick in to constantly concentrate my focus energy on my most pressing issues.
I no longer “know” where I am going and am trusting the unknown more and more.
For knowledge is just a crutch we most often cling to to compensate for our lack beliefs, fear beliefs, and mistrust.
I am being swallowed by a force larger than myself and returning.
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Searching and engaging in “Focus potentials”

experiencespaces

What I keep searching for is – “POTENTIALS for focus”, in my “experience space”.
Once I choose the best suited potential focus, I then kineticize it(zoom into that portion of the fractal) and enjoy the “trip/journey” that it contains.
Then once I’m done, I again scan my experience space for potential focuses.
Boredom is when I cannot find a strong focus potential, and when all my energy is used in testing and choosing/decision making i.e. testing various potentials to see which one can bring the best overall coherence and meaning to my experience.
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Matter and Spirit

Matter = Piano and its keys = biological instrument with its gross-subtle-subtlest components.
Spirit = The forces playing the piano, playing the biological instrument.

Matter is also spirit only.
Matter is spirit in frozen form.
We could also say, everything is basically one spirit in the spectrum of forces of:
Changing(Spirit) —–|—–Unchanging(Matter)
This ONE spectrum is separated into 2 halves, creating the spirit-matter dualism.
From the ultimate picture, it is all ONE grand mystery of movement.
The distinction between matter and spirit is similar to how we divide visible light into 7 colors.
Its all one spectrum, one light, but based on its phenomenological characteristics we break it apart into 7 colors.
You trying to understand the universe is like God living inside his own mysterious creation.
Could that the point of creation? God exploring his own mysterious nature through various forms/various points of view/various subjects?
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Contemplation on the unity of opposites

Structuring vs. De-structuring Forces
Good vs. Evil
Right vs. Wrong
Positive vs. Negative
Day vs. Night
Solid vs. Emptiness
Something vs. Nothing
White vs. Black
Improving vs. Degenerating
Existence vs. Non-existence
Birth vs. Death
Known vs. Unknown
Past vs. Future
Voluntary vs. Involuntary
Doing vs. Happening
Inbreath vs. Outbreath
Self vs. Other
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Following the Desire to change something never works

My desires and emotions are giving me a message about reality like “mathematics”.
I will listen to that directly without “resistance” or “desire to change it”.
“Desire to change something” is always a “Reaction” and not an “Action”.
This can be understood, by looking at “Forces” and Structures”
( Martial arts clearly demonstrates this principle in a tangible physical manner
Here is a wing-chun video that demonstrates this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7r85CAAxJfQ )
A structure generates force, no structure = no force
So, desires and emotions are “forces” generated by an underlying “structure”.

The reality I experience is analogous to where I put my focus/attention.
When I INVEST in the DESIRE to change something, then I am investing my attention energy into the FORCE and not the STRUCTURE generating the force.
So as a result, I only become aware of the FORCE and the places it takes me to, and not of the structure itself that generated the force in the first place.
Consequently, the “STRUCTURE” which is the very thing I want to change, never enters my awareness (because I am too busy chasing the FORCE), and change is as a result – IMPOSSIBLE.

That is why Einstein said “A problem can never be solved at the level of consciousness in which it originated”.
Only transcending to a subtler level allows the structure to enter your awareness.

Letting go of the desire to change something, and BEING with the something, is the only way I can see the very structure and not get caught up by the paths created by the forces generated by the structure.
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About values, judgment, discrimination, forces, points of view

Infinite(Ocean) -> Belief Structure(Drop point of view) -> Values(To connect to all other drops with similar values) -> Judgment(The seeing of other drops’ values through the host drop’s values)
“What you value” is the same as “What you want” is the same as “What you Desire” is the same as “Your Interest”.
Value = Want = Desire = Interest = Passion.
Also, Discrimination = Judgment.

To know yourself, is to know your genetic desires/forces, your biological desires/forces, your conditioning created desires/forces.
Everything is a force.
You are a force, interacting with other forces.
There is only a dance of forces.
Knowing yourself is to know your forces – that will enable you to know the most harmonious interaction/relationship possible with the other.
If you don’t know yourself (your forces), then harmonious interaction will be a matter of chance, as you blindly try various experiments with various people.
What will you die for? That represents your transcendent soul value.

The question might be, can I see others without the lens of judgment?
Is there something called “objective seeing”?
The answer to this takes me into esoteric inquiry.
The situation here reminds me of the hologram.
Every point in the hologram contains the whole.
The hologram concept unites: Unity and Multiplicity.
The large number of points present in the hologram represents multiplicity.
Whereas, the fact that each contains the whole represents unity.
Each point sees the whole from its point of view.
So actualization is to see the infinite from your point of view.
So I could probably conclude, we are all evolving towards actualizing and expanding our own point of view (expanding who we are) and relating with more and more of other points of view (expanding our relations).

Another more day to day analogy might be:
We are all basically like different flavors of icecream.
The fact that we are all icecream in essence is the UNITY aspect.
The fact that each of us has a unique flavor is the MULTIPLICITY aspect.

That is why, I am the infinite God, and you are an infinite God too.
I see you in myself, you see me in yourself (total interpenetration of being).
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Causeless winds vs. effort(caused) winds

Are you following the divine effortless winds? OR creating winds via. egoic effort?
Often, when there is no divine wind, the ego puts efforts and generates winds to compensate for the emptiness created.
This has the flavor of [draining, suffering, effort, struggle, desperation, pushing].
Its as if you are depleting your reservoir.

Instead I intuit that, when there is no wind, ideally one should just sit, and move only if a causeless wind is present.
I would like to move only from the causeless, and not from any generated force from any structure. Because every structure is a reservoir of divine energy and this stored energy is depleted as the structure exerts its own force and generates winds.
– When you are generating force with belief and investment, you are generating karma.
– When you are generating force, but belief and investment is not there, then it has the background of emptiness and there is no karma. It is like a de-clutched car, still moving from the momentum and structures of winds but without a powering force.
– When you are not generating any force, and when all the modulator wind generating structures (samskharas) have been atrophied and dissolved to just point potentials, you rest in the causeless and are moved only by the causeless wind.

* Karma is nothing but Becoming
* Living in the causeless is like living without becoming anything
* Structures in your consciousness that I speak about, are like entities inhabiting your experience field, that collect divine energy, and then accordingly generate/modulate winds in your consciousness, seeking to grow their structure. They are like viruses that trap divine energy – when the sun shines – and then generate forces from this stored energy in order to further themselves. That is the principle of ego (which is the mothership structure) and samskharas basically.
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Interdependence Insight

What makes a thing beautiful is the relativity around it.
It is all total interdependence.
For example, the girl who looks beautiful in the beach, has to thank:
– the people who made her swimwear,
– the swimwear cloth material existence itself
– the beach (for being a desirable place for people, and which puts them in the mood capable to such body admiration)
– the beach for being a socially accepted place to celebrate the body,
– thank the culture that permits that,
– thank the sunlight for shining on her,
– thank the “eyes of others” that allow them to perceive her at all
– her mom dad for telling her that she is beautiful,
– all the food that has gone into building her body,
– thank the gym space and equipment for giving her the tools for shaping the body
– all the other people who project ‘beauty’ on her and validate it (both historically and currently present in the beach)
– Her own genes, lineage
– Caste/Creed/Race, Health, Nationality, other such status symbols
– All the microorganisms in her body allowing her to stay like that
– She would have to thank her entire history, which is connected to everyone else’s history too.
And so on…
Its total interdependence.
Finally she has to thank her own consciousness for being alive to even be aware of all of this and to witness all that came together in creating the feeling of being beautiful.
Each and every object exists interdependently with all the other objects
Like the Indra’s web dew drop reflections.
Every essence is dependent on every other essence.
No essence stands alone.
It is the “relationship between all the essences/reflections” and interdependent relationships that allow the existence of the object essence itself.
Everything needs everything else.
No thing stands by itself.
All things stand because of the existence of all other things.

Like take the diamond in a velvet box –
the diamond has to thank all the lights around it,
the velvet box which contrasts it well,
the perceiver/observer of its beauty,
and its qualities come out with the movement of the observer, so it should also thank the observer’s movement.
(The diamond’s brilliance is omni-directional, however its qualities of FIRE and SPARKLE are visible only if the observer moves relative to the diamond)
Also the diamond has to thank all the other stones for not having these qualities such as sparkle, brilliance and fire.
The diamond’s specialness/uniqueness/value should give thanks to all the other non-quality possessing stones.
The diamond must also thank the observer’s consciousness which observes all of these qualities and admires it.
Everything is interdependent.
Similarly self-other, self-world, self-situation all go together too.
It is all the situations/others in your life that bring out your mysterious qualities.
You are what you are, because the universe it what it is, they both go together.
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About ‘Doing’ and its implications

Another way to put across the principle would be:
Every assertion requires an assumed denial (as base state)
Every denial requires an assumed assertion (as base state)
This is the inherent dilemma with all “Doing” itself

Another way to put it would be: Doing is secondary to the structure that causes and justifies the doing.
For example: If I want to help someone, I have to first assume that he needs help and cannot help himself, and that I know what help he needs, and that I know the best thing he should do to help himself. All this is the narrative/background structure behind my action of helping.
Doing is like watching the ball roll down a mountain. But there are lot of things that have to be in place for that – the mountain, the slope, the gravity force and so on. That is the background set (as in cinema parlance)
The narrative I create behind the doing is the higher dimensional structure. That is my creation too. That is why it is said “Belief creates reality”.
Doing is simply the manifestation/symptom of the structure I have assumed/believed in.

Surrendering of all “Doing” is to live in the causeless
Where everything simply happens and doing happens too, but there is no “Doing” by an agent/ego/self(with small ‘s’)