Tag: Abstract

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End of self image and self esteem

Do not save/help/rescue people as self-esteem points.
Do not achieve/conquer/surmount as self-esteem points
Do not suffer/endure pain/face fear as self-esteem points
Do not develop skills as self-esteem points
Do not build social status/power/prestige/material accumulation as self-esteem points
Do not live up to any image of nice person/kind person/spiritual person etc. as self-esteem points
Do not count your “monetary assets(liquid/solid)” as self-esteem points
Do not accumulate memories/experiences/adventures as self-esteem points
Do not create works of art/music/writing as self-esteem points

Drop the burden of all notion of a “substance” self.
BE bereft of any form or substance.
Make self-esteem 0, dissolve the accumulated self.
Rather live as the “Empty of Substance – NOW – direct truth”.
Live in the utter obviousness of direct perception/direct experience.
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Thoughts – Sept 7

Spectrums:
Habit(morphogenetic field, continuity, matrix)—————————Novelty (that which breaks it)
Order (Anti-entropy)—————————–Disorder (Entropy)
Natural————————-Artificial
They both go together like [self———other]

Evolution/Realignment from objective to the subjective – “what you think is what is true”
Its like “You see what you want to see”, “The reality you experience is exactly what you are holding on to (what you want, what you choose, what you desire)”
Then if everything is subjective, then what is the use of knowledge??
If everything is a dream, then what is the use of knowledge??
Knowledge then is for pleasure/transformation(which is deep pleasure), something you seek because you desire it, a potential available to you.
Knowledge is a modulator of reality.
Knowledge is exactly like food.
Hunger for knowledge is exactly like hunger for food.
Hunger and pleasure are stages within transformation.
Transformation stages:
Hunger for transformation ——-Gathering Material —— Consumption of material ——- Satiation——-Processing ——–Digestion/Assimilation/Absorption/Transformation ——New Hunger from transformed contents —- and so on.

By gathering knowledge, you are gathering experiences of specific temporal modulations(patterns) of reality.
These patterns of reality then cause a deeper transformation at a deeper intuitive level, which stays, even as the temporal pattern disappears or changes.
So in the spectrum of:
(tends to infinity) Unchanging ———|Intuitive|————|Experiences|———Changing (movement in visual field)

Nature -> Wind -> Dunes of sand.
Primal Force(god) -> Evolution Force (imprint of Primal Force) -> Genes (Imprint of past evolution)
Each left is a higher dimension version of the force on the right.
Every higher dimensional force has the power to create or dissolute lower dimensional force forms. (Causality is only an appearance in a structure maintained by a higher dimensional force which is free to dissolute or transform it at anytime)
That is why we have: spirit -> soul -> human body and so on.
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Passing through various selves

Earth is a realm, not a defined place. It is like a particular dream-scape.
I also see that all enjoyment comes from the desire of the soul.
This desire then mobilizes us -> towards its actualization in this plane.
The desires of the soul themselves are given to the soul by a subtler higher power.
Without desires, a soul is dry. The soul (individualized consciousness) then dies into the larger self.
Awareness fades, along with fading desires.
Awareness/focus is maintained by desire only.
The greatest focus/memory/power is available when one is conduiting one’s highest desire.
This greatest desire present mobilizes/utilizes all resources (memory, intelligence, action) towards its actualization.
There is always a highest desire present at every moment (notice it).
This highest desire keeps changing/evolving too, at every moment.
The very very subtle desires tend to stay more constant, just like the scenery at horizon slowly moving as you look out of the window of a fast train.
To find your truest self is to find the subtlest/deepest/most pervasive self that is almost (tends to ->) unchanging.
Is there such an unchanging self? It is a journey of [tends to] -> infinity.
So as we delve into what is unchanging relatively in the spectrum present in the screen of consciousness:
(gross) Changing ————–|self 4|———|self 3|—–|self 2|——|self 1|—- Unchanging (subtle)
Self 1 might be the self that is the oversoul
Self 2 might be your spirit force (spanning many realms)
Self 3 might be your individualized soul
Self 4 might be your ego identity structure in this earth realm
And so on…
The point to note here is that, all selves exist and operate together, one superimposed on the other.
The gross selves superimpose themselves over the subtle selves and are more limited and coarser than the subtler ones.
So we go through varying degrees of dissolution to reach higher selves/higher realities.
For example: If self 4(ego) dissolutes, we reach self 3(individualized soul)….and so on.
So we can assume that after every death of a grosser self, a subtler self is present behind it.
It might also be the case that we are veiled from the subtler selves.
Which means, it would not be possible to even feel the presence of the subtler self in your grosser self state.
So if you dissolute self 4, you may encounter a blank nothing/wall/abyss in the veil until you fully pass through it and only then will the awareness of self 3 be available to you.
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My main practice

– Stay as the mirror mind: All is a moving reflection of the unnamable. Nothing more, nothing less.
– Surrender/Let go/Release all “formations” and “contractions” of energy. That is the only doing/undoing.
– Propriocept the subtlest sensation. Stay as silent/receptive as possible.
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“Nothing” is only a pointer

I think the bottomline is: “Nothing” cannot be given a word.
So whatever word is given, that conception becomes it.
No matter how rarified, it is still just a word and invokes just a particular formation and that “particularity” is NOT IT.
The same dilemma holds true for words like “God” or “Infinite”.
A word can only describe particulars, things, conceptions.
So words like – God, Infinite, Nothing – are only pointers and have no essence/substance/structure of their own.
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About heart/soul(symbolic) as the attunement instrument

All attunement happens from the heart.
The brain is then just an awesome instrument available in the attunement that the heart has chosen.
To take different perspectives, different points of view, see through different consciousness locuses/lenses, to tune into different worlds by altering frequency = done by heart/soul.
My primary ability is to take ‘different points of view’ and tune into multiple worlds and perspectives.
Perspective of a bird, insect, every creature/being, earth, celestial bodies – sun, planets, moons, and so on.
Each is a “unique and infinite” point of view.
Each is a realm, a world.
In my entire life, I have shifted tuning to millions of such worlds/realm.
What I see is that each point of view is an INFINITY.
I’m only moving from infinity to infinity.
My deepest knowledge from navigating all the worlds is in the relativity/validity/infinity/wonder of all worlds.
Any judgment I hold is transitory because the judgment is simply the output of energy channeled through a frame/orientation of mind. But what if each frame that the heart tunes to is an entire infinite realm. We are all only cosmic grand navigators, and the situation in the world is where people have concretized their imagination and have forgotten the real nature of their condition.
But yea, maybe this dream of limitation/concretization of perspective, and full conviction in an objective world has its place, its wonder too.
I feel like I’m the true traveler.
My intellect is just a powerful celebrator and instrument that illuminates whatever worlds my heart/soul chooses to tune into.
This is a game of hide and seek, a game of remembering and forgetting.
We are the supreme being itself, representing the greatest wonder and riches.
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Converting Depression into Flow

The thing about depression is that, it is only seen in relativity.
There is some benchmark of performance, ability, condition that you are comparing your current state against.

The 2 broad relativity elements:
– One element is relativity w.r.t other people and their state of mind you observe/intuit/vicariously feel/experience/empathize with.
– The other element is relativity with your own happy memories and memories of other freer states of mind with higher possibilities.

To avoid the 1st relativity, you can isolate yourself.
To avoid the 2nd relativity, you can try to absorb your mind in something.

If there is an “interest potential” present in the mind, and you can simply tap into that. Like something you really want to read about, a video you wanted to watch etc. In my experience, there is always something the mind is most interested in – at every moment.
We think of the mind as a noun, a thing.
But actually it is a verb, a flow, a movement.
Without movement of the mind, you would be in deep sleep.
So one method is to simply BE and FLOW as the whole mind, and let it go where-ever it wants to. You will notice in this approach, the mind will automatically after a while center itself on some core issues, road block in your life that is troubling you.

Generally, if a deep need of yours is not fulfilled, the mind will naturally get preoccupied with that. So one way to avoid resistance and struggle is to surrender to whatever interest appears. It can be anything. Many a times, this spontaneous interest might be quite out of line, with what you would like yourself to be/think/do/act etc. But those images are precisely the ones that need to be surrendered. That way, the mind can simply flow with whatever movement it naturally has.
It will naturally mobilize and center itself in the direction of your core issue/problem if you just allow it. It will eventually settle on your deepest longings.

The main suffering here is of NOT ACCEPTING the states of longing, desperation, looping thoughts, obsessions, fixations, chaos, slowness, heaviness, debilitation, fatigue, emptiness, guilt, regret, feeling sorry, pity, anger, rage, uneasiness, unpleasantness, physical pain, stuckness of forces, despair regarding where to move.
So if you just allow the whole mind to flow, it will take you down a deep rabbit hole and solve everything as it goes through that. Your life experience may change in unimaginable ways and you may comprehend mystical insights far above your current level.
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Energy Fluctuations

The available energy for my ego/agency/power keeps widely varying/fluctuating throughout the day.
It is quite random and unpredictable.
The energy withdrawal at times is so sharp that it sharply nose dives towards emptiness.
When this happens, whatever I still haven’t let go of, gets crushed by the reducing energy.
Imagine, you suddenly receive only 1/10th of your monthly salary. Doesn’t this put a huge crunch on your finances for that month? All your possessions feel like a burden and you may have to sell some stuff, give away stuff, cut corners and somehow get through the month.
This is something like that.
My wildly fluctuating energies, prevent me from holding on to anything.
Because I do not know when I would suddenly lose everything.
Suddenly, I get squeezed like a lemon.
OR
I can say it is like the jaws of the tiger’s mouth suddenly tightening on the ego (the structure I hold on to as me).
So the rajas, tamas, and sattva are quite unpredictable.
As a rule:
I get the insight in the sattvic times, and try to apply the insight method in the tamasic times.
The tamasic times feels like immobilizing encumbrance, burden.
The rajasic times feel like desperation, turmoil and anxiety.
The sattvic times are the times when I feel clear, peace, clarity.
I have to be ever-ready to deal with whatever fluctuation happens.
When the energy rushes in, I feel fear because I don’t know when it might be taken away from me.
When the energy is low, I feel fear it might remain that way for too long.
At both times, the “This too shall pass” creates a fear contraction and tightening in me.
This is like an endless moment to moment surprise adventure.
It reminds me of a part of the navy seal training.
They train you to face unpredictable situations without giving into fear.
The face of the person in training is covered with a black cloth bag.
Now the bag is suddenly removed, and he is made to face some unexpected situation.
It could be 3 people trying to attack him, or something as trivial as someone asking him where the nearest station is.
This energy fluctuation I am going through feels similar.
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The physical world is a mirror of the invisible world

reflection_in_the_mirror-1494496

The physical world is a mirror of the invisible world.
If you want to know the invisible world, look at the physical world.
All the forces that act in the physical world – the same forces act in the invisible world too.
All the rules for gross objects, apply to the invisible subtle objects too.
Just like we have:
– Solid Objects
– Smaller parts, nuts and bolts
– Powder
– Molecules
– Atoms
– Quarks
– …
Similarly in the invisible world of vibration/feeling/sensation, we have the same gross to subtle forces spectrum.
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Threads of causation

The causation thread goes all the way to the infinite/to god/to the unknown/mystery/blurry/foggy horizon
So each and every thing can be traced back to god/mystery/unknown.
It follows the thread of the known – getting subtler and subtler until it vanishes past your seeing ability reaching the horizon/unknown.
All attribution of substance(gross to subtle) depends on how far one sees into the causation thread.
If you see short, you see definite gross entity causes, if you see far, you see various subtle potentials manifesting everything and the picture looks far more complex.
If one sees the farthest, he sees all causation threads leading back to the infinite nothing.
Ultimately everything is a VERB, an UNFOLDING, a PROCESS.
There are forces, which are aggregate of smaller forces, and those smaller forces are aggregates of even smaller forces and so on.