Category: Insight

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Louder passions vs. softer passions

Whatever is done/spoken/communicated/acquired in passion – dies with the ending of the passion.
It is a passionate state of mind – and it ends quickly.
The lack of deeper passion is what we call lack of soul OR the deeper passion is subconscious and in chaos, and to escape from that chaos, a passion is created and pushed out – to create the passionate state of mind.
This is what creates the feeling of superficiality and deeper emptiness.
To give an example, Lust is passion too.
The arousal of lust is the arousal of passion.
One can become addicted to states of passion and always desperately stay passionate, because when they sink deeper into themselves, they see the chaos that actually lies underneath.
But passion is a highly limited/limiting state.
The louder the passion, the more limited it is.
Spectrum of passion:
Very soft ———————— Very loud.
The loudest passions take the most energy and are sustained for a very short period of time. They create intense purpose and also dissolute as easily and fast.
The softer passions are the more enduring ones that give a person a sense of prolonged fullness and purpose.
So if you are feeling empty in life – then you probably need to go deeper, and become more dispassionate, silence yourself more and see the softer/lighter/subtler territory you are blind to at present, because of drowning that with louder passions (arousing them to escape the deeper pain).
Passion Blinds! The louder passions drown the subtler ones.
[Like notice when lust fills you up, almost all your motivation energy is redirected]
Moving to the subtler realm of passions may feel like death, because it is sinking and letting go of all the louder passions that have hitherto driven you.
What we call the soul, might refer to this deeper realm of subtle passions/forces.
Passions = Forces, basically.
So it can also be worded as, greater forces drown the subtler forces.
[Just like loud noises drown soft ones, and just like how bright lights drown softer lights (like how we cannot see stars at daytime)]
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The creative void/Brahman

No experience I have ever had could be otherwise.
Everything is exactly the way it is, and experience is free-falling from the void and returning to it.
“I myself” as an apparent controller/agent am an appearance and part of this free-fall of experience.
It is as if life(manifest) spills out from death and returns to death(void) – The creative void.
This creative void endlessly spills out movies of experience and apparent subjects and points of view.
Also the world, other people, objects are all arising in consciousness which is the real substance all of it is made up of.
Consciousness or the manifest arises from this creative void – like a media player visualization.
This creative void has no substance, or nature, or form. Just as your eyes should not have any color in order that you see all outer colors clearly (else if your eye itself were tinted with a color, then everything would appear to take that color) – similarly, the Brahman/creative void is qualityless, quantityless, substanceless, natureless, formless.
The creative void is truly “Nothing” and “Everything” that is manifest now, is only 1 of its boundless/infinite possibilities.
The creative void/Brahman is even beyond concepts of ONENESS and INFINITY, because both of those are subtle mentations/ways of seeing, and that is only one of the possibilities of the creative void.
I can endlessly describe the creative void, but none of the descriptions ARE IT, because each description is only one of the forms of this void.
All that I write about is about the mystery of this creative void. It is a celebration of its mystery and wonder.
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Pondering on “Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists.”

This aphorism is deeply intriguing to me.
It points at such a profound truth that I can intuitively grasp, but to touch this truth to all of my experience and to understand all of its implications is an endless fascinating contemplation.

I wonder about what this “no-thing thing” is.
This question makes me look.
The deeper I look, the more I silence myself to see finely (like how we hold our breath when threading a needle)
I am trying to silence myself enough to see the substrate space.
At a point, I can see, that along with what I am looking at, I am looking at my own looking.
I then see that, this looking is my own desire, the deepest desire in me, to feel and know the ultimate reality.
So me as the whole having a desire to look at itself (awareness turning back and seeing itself), is a desire like any other, that appears and passes.
Which means, this whole quest to know the ultimate reality is from my own deep desire.

This has mind-boggling implications of the impossibility of me knowing anything.
If all knowing and knowledge accumulation is driven by desire (the desire/heart drives the tuning into that particular manifestation of reality), and if desires appear and pass like all phenomena, then my very ground is swept off my feet.
Reality is even more crazily mysterious than I had previously considered.
So then, the quest of mine to find the ultimate ground is in itself driven by a specific desire, and therefore the manifestation that I paradoxically do by non-doing, is not the ULTIMATE GROUND of experience but rather a ‘Specific experience’.

On the negative side: Everything can be threatened. I mean EVERYTHING.
On the positive side: The truth/real can never be threatened. So nothing of true value is ever lost.

So what is the TRUE REAL? – it is inconceivable, ineffable, unimaginable, unfathomable, undetectable, unnoticeable, un-objectifiable, insubstantiateable. It is “…THAT…”.
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Everything is God

Everything is God.
Everything and Every person and Every living being.
Why should I reject any manifestation of God? In whatever form?
All attachment, desire, and addiction is the desire for repetition of [past images].
We are looking for the concretization of past images or mental fantasies – all of which create the “kohut tension arc”, which we attempt to move towards and seek as ideals (which is almost like a problem we are are constantly engaged in solving).
But greater life is about:
change/novelty/newness/unknown/unimaginable/miracle/aliveness/freshness/mystery
Desiring past images, is like ghost images controlling the show where they are always trying to rig and manipulate reality to fit these images.
The past is dead, the known is dead, these images are dead.
All the unchanging is dead.
To convert this unchanging dead into the alive changing is the transformation process.
Behind this transformation process, is a deep desire for greater life, and the process satisfies our own deep wish.
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Entropy and Anti-Entropy, States and Stations

Having a specific meaning/story in your experience is still ‘lower entropy’ than changing meaning/story/timelines themselves.
That total shifting of everything is what is called madness.
In-fact greater the extent of shifts and discontinuities – greater the madness.
Whereas when a specific timeline/meaning is retained day after day (the same persistent story), interestingly whatever theme it may take, it is still be lower entropy.
In a sense ego(a persistent self) retaining continuity at almost all times, represents coherence and anti-entropy.
It seems like any DELTA/CHANGE would involve energy expenditure.
Like if you are in dissolution and discontinuity, then to maintain continuity would take a lot of energy.
Similarly if you are highly solid and coherent, then, trying to access ideas of totally changing realities, again will take a lot of energy for you to maintain such states.
It is like states and stations.
Station A ——-x——– Station B ——–x——– Station C ———–x——– and so on.
For a person in station A wanting to reach station C – he needs 2x free energy.
Station C is State C – for a person in station A.
Similarly a person in station C wanting to reach station A again needs 2x energy.
Station A is a State A – for person in Station C.
So the implication of this is that, it is as hard for a 5-D creature to live in our reality(congealing their vibration into a definite form) as it is for a 3-D create to have a 5-D experience (to dissolute yourself and let go enough to reach that).
The 3-D reality is a state attainment for a 5-D creature and the 5-D reality is a state attainment for a 3-D creature.
Another analogy would be of Steam -> Water -> Ice.
It takes a lot of energy to compress steam into ice, just like it takes a lot of energy to vaporize ice into steam.
So, it can very well be, the Gods in the higher dimensions would need a lot of energy to come down and live in earth, just as someone on earth needs great energy to rise to the dimension of Gods.
Which means, both represent distinct realities, and any DELTA/CHANGE OF STATE would require energy – and probably from a transcendent viewpoint, both are creative forms, and both are equally desirable (the god state and the human/animal state).
Another implication of this would be, if any change of state takes energy, then what you effortlessly are – represents 0 distance.
Trying to be anyone/anything else or in any other state would exhaust you and create another cycle of […recuperation -> expenditure/attaining -> exhaustion…]
So freedom in a counter-intuitive way, represents 0 distance, when you remain exactly as you are (If you do not do that, you exhaust that freedom energy by moving elsewhere).
If you are an animal, you stay exactly as that.
If you are a God, you stay exactly as that.
Any attempt to move away from your natural state, will enter dualistic cycles, and there will be periods of seeking/attaining recuperation/exhaustion.
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High/Low psyche energy duality

Intense psyche energy – moves experience, increases possibilities, novelty, wonder and creates anticipation, joys etc.
When the psyche energy is low – there is flatness, dullness, disenchantment, disinterest, loss of consciousness, loss of interest/passion/desire/love/focus. Such a person falls into a stupor-like state almost only driven by bare survival and when even survival is surrendered, he falls into the unknown void/blankness.
When very low on energy, the strain is on survival only, the deepest desire, attention/focus is pulled from the reserves to do the bare minimum to survive. It is a hard desperate struggling state.

The best way to illustrate this duality is – ON PSYCHEDELICS vs. the next day PSYCHEDELIC HANGOVER.
The psychedelic awakens the soul energy, that is precisely the feeling of high interest/curiosity/wonder/passion/love/joy/abundance/overflow/sparkles of energy/impressions(impressiveness).
The exact opposite happens in the hangover:
disinterest/flatness/dread/deadness/discontent/struggle/scarcity/low energy/depression/unconsciousness.
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Desire comes from lack

All desire is from lack.
Lack -> (puts out) Desire force outward to seek the lacked quality.
We repress qualities in ourselves and then seek it in others or enhance it with others.
Its as though, we vicariously live those qualities through others (the ones we denied in ourselves, that is)
This repression/denial of quality potentials is unconscious (and might be part of the whole play of existence to believe you do not possess a quality yourself and need an other to get it from).
It is part of the childhood programming, when these structures are formed.
These structures decide, what you will find in yourself and what quality you will seek in an other.
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The connection between power and resistance

The experience of power is possible only when overcoming resistance.
Power is when you push(force) against a resistant force – could be a medium/field/object etc.
So power needs resistance.
If there is no resistance, power is irrelevant.

Power also needs separation.
Power is a relational quality between 2 separate forces.
The relation of one force with another force.
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Are creative and destructive forces symmetric?

Initially, I figured that, creative and destructive forces are not symmetric.
The reasoning was that, I saw creative forces as anti-entropic, and destructive forces as entropic.
With that definition, definitely, the creative forces win over the destructive forces.
Because if the destructive forces won, we would not have anything, we would have ‘nothing’, we would not even have the ‘something’ you see all around you.
If the creative forces won, suppose, then we would have ‘everything’ and nothing would ever be lost or destroyed.
From this reasoning, it followed that, life/love is winning over death/loss, that is why all the creation(something) around you even exists.
Another way, to look at is that existence(life) wins over non-existence(death).

But then, this reasoning though it makes sense logically, I always intuitively felt something was off.
Because, by the law of duality everything is bipolar, and therefore creation and destruction would have to be symmetric.
So for a long time I was unable to reconcile the law of duality and the conclusion I had logically come to that anti-entropy is winning over entropy or creation is winning over destruction.

Today, I had this insight that gave me much more clarity and a new perspective.
The logical conclusion I had come to was based on IMAGES of “Nothing” and “Everything” – which were all abstract concepts.
But then I dropped all these images, and looked at actual experience.
I saw that all that there was, was flow/change.
(Note: Even flow/change are concepts but concepts that are closer to our experiential reality)
So imagine a flow:
(infinity)…1 -> 2 -> 3 -> 4 -> 5 -> 6…(infinity)
From this flow perspective, there is creation and destruction at every moment.
The concept of symmetry does not even arise here, because there is only ONE SPACE in which all is happening.
So creation and destruction are simultaneous and total at each moment.
It is not half creation and half destruction.
At every moment there is simultaneous 100% (total) creation and 100% (total) destruction.
For instance, in the flow shown above, when 1 changes to 2, seen from the point of view facing 1, 1 disappears and dies, seen from the point of view facing 2, the new is born. But both happen simultaneously and are 1 event.

Later I realized, that the previous understanding was 4-D based.
I can take this even further to the 5th dimension, to the level of understanding where we can realize entire timelines are spawned and changed in the NOW.
We are the NOW(5-D), dreaming multiple timelines in the NOW.
To visualize this, it is like:
NOW … –Timeline1———Timeline2——–Timeline3— … NOW
And if I zoom into Timeline1, we would get back our 4-D spectrum:
(infinity)…1 -> 2 -> 3 -> 4 -> 5 -> 6…(infinity)
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Noun, Pronoun -> Verb -> Adjective

I had a big shift earlier, where I started to see that there were no real Nouns/Pronouns in existence.
Rather, there were only verbs and processes everywhere.
Today, on deeper thought, I had a flash of an even greater shift from Verbs/Processes to Adjectives.
Everything now can be seen as an Adjective/Quality/Is-ness.

I can correlate it to the dimensions of Space(3-D), Time(4-D) and the Platonic world (world of platonic forms) (5-D).
Space(3-D) = Nouns, Pronouns
Time(4-D) = Verbs, Processes
Platonic(5-D) = Adjectives, Qualities, Essences, Is-nesses, Archetypes

So the Adjective/Quality is the higher dimensional essence which manifests as processes and when you take a snapshot of the process, you get nouns/pronouns.