I am unable to maintain my preferred reality against another’s reality frequency.
For example, if the person with me says – I hate X, then it is like:
Other person ———HATE————> X
Me ———————————> X
My relationship to X is [undefined] and is [open to influence] like a mirror.
So I get influenced by the other person and this affects my perception:
Me ——————HATE—————-> X
Now I do not want to hate X, and I feel powerless/helpless to change that HATE relationship towards X, which is not my preference, and which is osmotically being transferred to me by the other’s presence.
Its as if, if I don’t already carry a strong opinion about something (which is rare), then that opinion slot is simply open and receiving, and downloads the other person’s opinion (‘imagined by me’ or ‘clearly stated by the other’).
Its as if my whole substance is like a mirror.
I mirror the other person’s opinion and it is not my inner preference.
So then, I attack the other person for HATING X, and try to convert the other person into LIKING X, so that the mirroring will allow me to like X, which is my actual preference.
In that person’s presence, it is almost impossible for me to see X in any other perspective apart from how the other sees X.
So the silliness is that, I try to change the other person into liking X, so that I can like X.
The core belief seems to be: I do not give myself permission to have a relationship with a person/thing other than what the person next to me has(really stated or imagined). I fear having a contrary view, contrary opinion, contrary world view etc. I also fear being more open than the other, and I tend to contract my viewpoint, direction of energies, energy structures to match the other’s openness. Its like I am at the mercy of the other and the only control I have is to AVOID or CONFRONT. But the confrontation is only so that, I can ultimately have my own preference back.
This sounds really silly, but this is a DEEP ENMESHMENT/Entanglement issue.
For example, if the person with me says – I hate X, then it is like:
Other person ———HATE————> X
Me ———————————> X
My relationship to X is [undefined] and is [open to influence] like a mirror.
So I get influenced by the other person and this affects my perception:
Me ——————HATE—————-> X
Now I do not want to hate X, and I feel powerless/helpless to change that HATE relationship towards X, which is not my preference, and which is osmotically being transferred to me by the other’s presence.
Its as if, if I don’t already carry a strong opinion about something (which is rare), then that opinion slot is simply open and receiving, and downloads the other person’s opinion (‘imagined by me’ or ‘clearly stated by the other’).
Its as if my whole substance is like a mirror.
I mirror the other person’s opinion and it is not my inner preference.
So then, I attack the other person for HATING X, and try to convert the other person into LIKING X, so that the mirroring will allow me to like X, which is my actual preference.
In that person’s presence, it is almost impossible for me to see X in any other perspective apart from how the other sees X.
So the silliness is that, I try to change the other person into liking X, so that I can like X.
The core belief seems to be: I do not give myself permission to have a relationship with a person/thing other than what the person next to me has(really stated or imagined). I fear having a contrary view, contrary opinion, contrary world view etc. I also fear being more open than the other, and I tend to contract my viewpoint, direction of energies, energy structures to match the other’s openness. Its like I am at the mercy of the other and the only control I have is to AVOID or CONFRONT. But the confrontation is only so that, I can ultimately have my own preference back.
This sounds really silly, but this is a DEEP ENMESHMENT/Entanglement issue.
Journey to the Abstract 