Arousal(stimulation) is what I keep seeking.
Arousal is the energy powering ‘experience’, but this powering energy is also experienced inseparably within all ‘experience’ as charge or potential.
So one could say, all experience is imbued with arousal.
Increasing arousal translates into greater experience intensity.
If there is 0 arousal -> There would be 0 experience (like pulling the power cord off from your television).
Without arousal -> input processing ends -> there would be nothing, you could go unconscious, all experience will come to 0.
The different ways I arouse myself are:
cookies/sweets(sugar), food (when not hungry), cheese, tea, coffee, hot chocolate, health concoctions, fruits, exercise, movies, TV shows, videos (all kinds), erotic & sexual thought/videos/images/activity, reading articles of all sorts, facebook, online chat, video calling/talking in person, music, reflection on memories/patterns, intellectual analysis/critical thinking combined with creative writing, practices: focusing on being and resting in the present moment experience OR focusing on pains or unpleasant sensations, supplements or drugs, reading books, taking a shower, making todo-lists, cleaning house, sleep (as an investment for higher arousal the next day), consumerism: buying stuff on amazon.
It seems like, what I am ultimately seeking is experience and a certain intensity of it.
Preferably good ones, else I am creating even the bad ones if possible to maintain experience intensity and charge (arousal).
I focus on pain with the arousal of how to diminish or remove it.
I focus on pleasure with the arousal of how to keep or increase it.
And when emptiness is there, I focus on, how can I create any kind of experience/arousal through whatever means, but pushing whatever button that can create arousal.
Its like I am used to a certain volume of experience. When the volume of experience goes down, I push all my arousal buttons to try to create some experience (pain or pleasure) that crosses the threshold. So at a higher level, it seems like there is something beyond pain and pleasure, and that is arousal itself or the desire to just have some/any experience.
Arousal is the energy powering ‘experience’, but this powering energy is also experienced inseparably within all ‘experience’ as charge or potential.
So one could say, all experience is imbued with arousal.
Increasing arousal translates into greater experience intensity.
If there is 0 arousal -> There would be 0 experience (like pulling the power cord off from your television).
Without arousal -> input processing ends -> there would be nothing, you could go unconscious, all experience will come to 0.
The different ways I arouse myself are:
cookies/sweets(sugar), food (when not hungry), cheese, tea, coffee, hot chocolate, health concoctions, fruits, exercise, movies, TV shows, videos (all kinds), erotic & sexual thought/videos/images/activity, reading articles of all sorts, facebook, online chat, video calling/talking in person, music, reflection on memories/patterns, intellectual analysis/critical thinking combined with creative writing, practices: focusing on being and resting in the present moment experience OR focusing on pains or unpleasant sensations, supplements or drugs, reading books, taking a shower, making todo-lists, cleaning house, sleep (as an investment for higher arousal the next day), consumerism: buying stuff on amazon.
It seems like, what I am ultimately seeking is experience and a certain intensity of it.
Preferably good ones, else I am creating even the bad ones if possible to maintain experience intensity and charge (arousal).
I focus on pain with the arousal of how to diminish or remove it.
I focus on pleasure with the arousal of how to keep or increase it.
And when emptiness is there, I focus on, how can I create any kind of experience/arousal through whatever means, but pushing whatever button that can create arousal.
Its like I am used to a certain volume of experience. When the volume of experience goes down, I push all my arousal buttons to try to create some experience (pain or pleasure) that crosses the threshold. So at a higher level, it seems like there is something beyond pain and pleasure, and that is arousal itself or the desire to just have some/any experience.
Journey to the Abstract 