Thoughts – Apr 24, 2014

Desire is what makes me disconnect from what’s there. It is not wanting/not liking what is there/present. Desire has a yang and a yin side.  Yin side is not wanting what is there. Yang side is wanting more of something that is there. If there is no desire, then automatically, you would just be and immerse yourself into what’s present.  Seeing the in-substantial nature of desires and their conditional arising and passing makes me weary about trusting them. This makes me lose faith in time and is bringing me to the present.

Life goes on forever/eternally. There is no beginning in time and there is no end of time. Time/change is forever. Time itself is an appearance projected by the timeless dimension above it. I am all of time (as a concept) itself and beyond it. I can choose to be in time or timeless.

This bodily manifestation can be seen as a particular frozen paradigm in my imagination space.
Its as if I’m put into a video game of sorts/ a preset set of laws and rules creating this specific flavor (of world, universe, body, others etc.).

Why MUST I play this game? The game is somewhat fragile too and it is easy to die. When I further question this, the concept of death too seems meaningless. Death in fact literally means freedom from this dream and ability to solidify another dream or experiential paradigm. How can it be anything negative?

What would prevent me from once again imagining another bodily experience? Why should I be weary of it in the first place? If I want it, I’ll imagine it, If not, I won’t. If I’m split minded, then the stronger part would decide. It all seems perfect.

An interesting question to ponder would be: what aspects of this bodily experience am I attached to? What aspects of this worldly experience am I attached to?

I feel even what we call instinct for survival is us basically fearing about losing this flavor. But what keeps us wanting to experience this manifestation flavor? What do we waiting for, what do we want to see, experience, witness?

How do I move into limitless possibilities of creation? How do I escape this particular flavor of manifestation? Why did I decide to lock this paradigm and make it unconscious? Why did I divide myself up into all this multiplicity and choose to experience from this point of view?

If I am experiencing only a small fragment of the real me, then what sense does it make to oppose all the creation flavor witnessed? It is literally like me fighting with myself. It is like cancer, a cell not behaving in harmony with the other cells causing disharmony. What is the point of having so many thoughts and concerns about the future when it is unknowable anyway? Why do I choose to choose to fight with all of this? How do I reclaim all of my unconscious and understand the true reasons for everything?

It seems like the only plausible answer for: What’s the point? is “The question you are asking, that is the point, to experience that, the point is THIS (whatever’s happening, unfolding).

Also, another confusing thing about the world manifestation flavor is that, it exists when I tune into its frequency and I can tune out and move into my imagination frequency too if I want. So the question is, who created this world flavor of experience?  If I am only a witness, who is creating the contents?

All the bodily problems and everything might be because of my aversion to this manifestation. So the stomach refuses to digest, the intestines refuse to assimilate, the liver refuses to detoxify, the bowels do not eliminate well, breathing happens in a shallow way and so on. Whereas if I love everything, then wouldn’t all of this happen far better? What is depression after all, it is wanting something that is not there.

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