All experience is maya/projection

The external reality is a kind of mysterious screen,
On which any movie can be projected.
The source of everything we experience is projected from within.
Things like your possessions, your relationships: like your wife/husband, friends, your children, things you love, stuff you are attached to, your home, are all projections.
So it is possible that a person living in a jungle in Africa may be feeling/thinking/experiencing in a similar way as a person living in the heart of Tokyo city.
Even though every single thing in their environment is different, a similar reality may be experienced.

A romantic essentially feels the same, no matter how he paints the enactment of that feeling.
The sexual lust feels the same, no matter whom it is projected on.
Any place could become your home, if you shift your projection to the new place.
The capacity to shift projections is one of the greatest powers.
All object essences are projected.
Believing that objects have inherent essences contained in them separate from you, is the biggest illusion.

If you are unable to shift your projections, then you stay attached to the original time they were flashed into you.
Attachment itself happens when there isn’t enough power to shift the projection.
It then stays with the person we first projected that feeling on.
That is what is generally called programming/conditioning.

Imagine if an old movie is remade with today’s technology and actors, everything is different, but the movie essence is the same.
Only the props have changed, the same drama and relationship is playing out.
So the implications of this are that:
# 2 people could be living just next to each other, but living in totally different experience worlds.
# Also, 2 people from completely different physical environments could be living a similar experience.

In your internal space, the projection potential is either present or absent.
And when you have it, you can project it on anything or anyone you want.
Its like when you have the love potential in your heart, and it is unblocked, it can be projected on anybody or anything.
You can keep the enactment of the projection at the fantasy level alone, or bring it down to the physical world, if such a choice/power is available to you.

Drugs like marijuana can temporarily vastly enhance your energy/power to access projection potentials and project.
Like I could ask you to look at a tree in front of you, and tell you to love the tree with all of your heart OR hate the tree with all of your heart, and you can experience both directly for yourself.
You can clearly witness how you modulate your experience with your intention.
You can even do this exercise when sober.
The drug only vastly enhances the power of that projection ability because it amps the available energy.
This is the basis of how on LSD, many people report to see the whole world reflected in an ordinary object like an ashtray.

It is like how a newborn experiences the world.
Every object in his/her environment takes on numinous projections.
Really, the experiences we have later in life are pale shadows of the peak experiences that were had at that time.
Those experiences set the tone for our relationship to the world itself.

From this level, there is no such dichotomy between the imagined and what is called real.
Every single thing you experience is real.
There is no such thing really called the physical world.
Everything that you experience is projected.
What a fantastic ride/illusion it is!, to believe the physical world exists independent from you.
It is a mind-boggling magical spell.

More about me

I’m like an RPG character with very low health
So I keep dying zillions of times
But my superpower is infinite regeneration
I can keep coming back again and again

Sometimes I wonder, if all this is really real?
Or are all my experiences part of some dream in the afterlife, and if I am already dead?

People have ‘meaning crisis’ at rare times and it quickly passes away too.
For me it is the other way.
I always live in a perpetual meaning crisis.
For short bursts I have meaning.
In those times, I get ordered and happily pursue the goals that appear.
Then I fall back into nothing, and another spawn happens later.

That is where my endless creativity comes from,
From dying over and over again.
It is like living 1000’s of lives and characters rolled into a single one.
Living in a constant mystery day to day,
Like an endless fountain rising and falling.

My experience of reality nowadays

I experience reality nowadays as a “changing/shifting ocean of sensation”.
In this ocean, various waves arise, from various apparent centers of consciousness that get formed, and various potentials are then available for various thoughts/feelings/emotions from these centers.
Another way to put it would be, my experience is like the movie “waking life”, i.e. like an endless moving lucid dream.
Another analogy would be, my experience is like a movie that is playing all the time, and I alternately engage with it in various ways, and then disengage in various ways, to come back and engage with…and so on.
I do not have much enduring identity day to day.
And my sadhana/effort is to return whatever remnant identity is there to the ocean.
I feel like I am a witness, that witnesses the whole changing ocean of relationship, where an “apparent I” and an “apparent world” appears and keeps shifting.
It always feels real in the moment, just like a dream feels real, but I also know that everything can change from my own memory of that happening a zillion times.

My experience is like the mantra AUM along with the pause.
Inbreath:
Pause = the recharge of inspiration/energy.
Drawing the formless/unmanifest to form/manifest potential.
Outbreath:
Expression in form/manifest.
Aaaaaa = Waking
Uuuuuu = Dreaming
mmmmmm = Sleep
Inbreath:
Pause = the recharge of energy.
…and so on.

Death and Life are both NOW

When we speak of death, or think about it,
That is death as a thought/concept.
The concept of death is always connected to time.
It is a thought about the future, usually the far future.
“What will happen to me after I die, maybe 40 years or 60 years later?”
“How will I die? What will be my state at that time?
“What will I be feeling at that time?”
“Who will be beside me at that time?”
“What place will I be in (a hospital, my bedroom…)?”
All of that is death as a thought.

Fear of death happens when death is thought about.
The more imaginative a person is, the stronger he will feel it.
Because of the extent of deep extrapolation and conception he can do.
A powerful imagination superimposes itself over the base reality overloading it with “context/meaning/memory/past-future/likely possibilities”.
And then the body reacts to whatever picture that presents.

Death as a reality however is always NOW.
You face death now, You face life now.
Every moment is changing.
If you see what was lost(negative existence), you see death.
If you see what was gained(positive existence), you see life.

Holographic nature of experience

In Holographic systems:
The micro and macro are the same.
Micro == Macro, Macro == Micro
(== ‘double equals’ is correspondence, left implies/reflects right, right implies/reflects left)

As above, so below. As below, so above.
Above == Below, Below == Above

As outside so inside, as inside so outside.
Inside == Outside, Outside == Inside
The outer is a reflection of the inner.
The inner is a reflection of the outer.

As you are, so is the world.
As is the world, so are you.
You == World, World == You

Tree is a reflection of the Root.
Root is a reflection of the Tree.
Tree == Root, Root == Tree

When you are sick, the whole world is sick.
When your wonderful, the whole world is wonderful.
When you laugh, the whole world laughs with you.
When the whole world is seen as laughing, it is you who is laughing inside.

The world is a projection of you, You are the projection of the world.
The way you feel == Is the way the world feels
The way the world feels == Is the way you feel

Paradoxes and Oxymorons of Truth

PARADOXES:
Truth is:
Freedom ——— Rule based
Free will ——- Predetermined
Unconstrained — Constrained
Local ——————– Non-local
Light ———– Dark
Known ———– Unknown
Consciousness —- Unconsciousness
Unchanging ——- Changing
Essence ———- Non-essence
Illusion ———— Reality
Attained/Strive —– Already here/Realized
Complex ————— Simple
Multiple —————- One
Focused ————– Broad
Graspable ————- Ungraspable
Limited —————- Unlimited
Something ————- Nothing

OXYMORONS:
Truth is:
Freedom-based rules ——– Rule-based freedom
Free predetermination ——— Predetermined free
Unconstrained constrainment ——- Constrained unconstrainment
Localized non-locality ———— Non-localized locality
Light Dark ————- Dark Light
Known Unknown ——- Unknown known
Conscious Unconsciousness ——- Unconscious consciousness
Unchanging changing ———— Changing Unchanging
Essential non-essence ——— Non-essential essence
Illusory reality ————– Real illusion
Attained realization ———- Realized Attainment
Complexly Simple ———– Simply complex
Multiple One —————– One Multiple
Focused Broad ——– Broad Focused
Graspable Ungraspable ——— Ungraspable Graspable
Limited Unlimited ———– Unlimited Limited
Something made of Nothing ———- Nothing made of Something

The repression of the reality of death

There is a fundamental imbalance I have noticed as a pattern throughout civilization and society (the one around me now).
Death has not been integrated into Life.
We repress anything to do with death and handle it in a kind of desperate uneasy way, we shield the reality of this as much as we can and when it happens it carries the context of: “What an unexpected tragedy, this should not have happened, this is unfair and sudden, but I will have to do whatever I can to manage this (said despondently)”.
Why should this be the case?
Why is the collective repressing the reality of death?
That I feel is the true elephant in the room that is being repressed.
We all play/act and pretend like it does not exist and we have an implicit agreement to never speak or discuss it unless really needed and only to the extent required.

This collective repression and denial of the reality of death has consequences throughout the ways in which we live our lives.
Every aspect of our lifestyle carries this feature too.
Marriage/new relationships are celebrated, while breakups are looked down upon, like “There must be a mistake, this is really wrong, should not happen etc.”.
Even the word breakup carries such a violent unceremonious negative connotation.
How can creativity flow freely if things once acquired are simply frozen?
Both the processes of acquisition and dissolution are like 2 wings of the bird of freedom/change/creative flow.
We are actually stifling the movement of life by denying the reality of death, because they both need each other for the higher purpose which is flow, expression, and creation.

There is a similar situation with consumer products.
It is so easy to purchase products now with the whole global e-commerce now booming in the online sphere.
But it is at least 10 times more difficult to find information and sell what you already possess. It is even difficult to find useful ways to pass on what you have even free of cost in a way that someone else could benefit and use.
The information is not AS READILY available as when you want to purchase.
There is definitely a gigantic imbalance I see.
There is so much hype about the building of a new product, with all the marketing, first day sales etc.
But the phasing out of old products with proper burial (which in this case might mean, the dismantling and salvaging of all of its raw materials, and reusing or returning it to the environmental cycles efficiently) is not done.
Where does all the garbage go?
It is not recycled and put back to its right place.
There is a right place for everything.
Like even poop forms great manure for trees/plants etc.
So as a result of this, we have an endless accumulation of the garbage created by old products.
Who is going to do the cleanup?
The responsibility is on us, it is our willful ignorance and denial of the reality of death that is the root cause here.
We emphasize creation, but not the efficient passing on of the stuff we have gathered to the next generation, or the proper recycling of stuff back into the environment.
Deep inside, there is a denial of the reality of death, which manifests as a feeling that we will live forever. We never even CONSIDER the reality of our own death.
Only if we did that, would we put effort into the correct recycling of our possessions (RE-CYCLING is the key word, life and death is a cycle, and nature has its own cycles. Ideally we should study these cycles and work in harmony with them.)

This is a collective problem and also an individual problem, as I see it.
There are many other smaller instances of this pattern.
Most of us forward bend far more than backward bend in our lifestyles.
We focus on what to eat and treat it like a ceremony and ritual, but when it comes to poop, we want to get done with it with as little consciousness as possible.
We emphasize work/achievement/building but sideline aspects like relaxation/rest/deconstructing (or we do those things only to get back to our prime focus of work and use it instrumentally).

Experiential Reality needs no proof

There is no proof needed for experiential reality.
The experience and the proof are one.
Because proof is to simply add a certification/validation/confirmatory wrapper over the raw information.
It is an additive layer that gives validity to the whole package – furnishing the package with proof and consequently certifying its validity too.
In experiential reality, the seeing is either present or absent.
If present then no proof is needed, it is already ascertained.

To become aware of something new, is expansion and realization of consciousness itself.
You either see it (realize it) or you don’t.
It is your sensitivity to see it or not.
Most practices are only invitations/favorable conditions to sensitize you to seeing certain spaces/phenomena OR they awaken certain sensitivities lying below your current threshold.

Fractal soul visions

Linear time is within a certain frame of reference staying constant.
Beyond linear time is circular time.
And beyond circular time are eternal higher dimensional realities etc.
It gets more and more abstract.

Sometimes when our visions get abstract enough we can see abstract gestalts/patterns repeating again and again like time running through a mobius strip.

For me, the common themes I wrestle with are between:
– Being and Non-being
– Becoming and Unbecoming
– Ground and Groundlessness
– Knowing and Unknowing
– Striving and Surrender
– Linear time and Non-linear time
– Attainment and Non-attainment
– Order and Chaos
– Enlightenment and Non-enlightenment
– Home and travel
– Knowledge and Innocence
– Reality and Illusion

I can explain some of these things with poetic visions.
Here are some of them below:

Vision 1:

abyssedge

I have 2 choices, stay with what I know (what is in my hand) or the other choice is to jump into an unknown abyss.
I am detached from what I have and so at times I get the courage and jump into the abyss.
Now imagine you fall and fall through the unknown but there is no ground and you land up again at a similar place where you were standing before and again there is the same choice – stick to what is in hand(known) or just into the abyss(unknown).
Again this repeats, I work on letting go of the known in hand and get the courage and jump, and this repeats again and again.
This is the play between knowing and unknowing
It is the play between ground and groundlessness

Vision 2:

dream

Imagine you are in a dream and you are trying to wake up, but every time you think you have woken up you later realize you have still been dreaming. And so you try to wake up again, and once again think you have woken up, only to realize soon after that you are still dreaming and have to work again to wake up.
This is the play between reality and illusion

Vision 3:

sandsculpture

I build myself up like a sand structure from the chaos of possibility of the sand on the ground.
I feel I have attained knowledge and being, but soon it falls back to the ground.
Then again I get inspired, and I build another structure, work on it and reach a milestone, only for it to go back to the ground again.
This is like a looping struggle to BE something and not fall back to non-being.
This can be seen as the play of order vs. chaos.
This can also be seen as the play of attainment vs. non-attainment.
It is also the play between becoming and unbecoming.

Vision 4:

Home

Imagine whenever you settled in a place, buy some things, make yourself a home there and create security for yourself, you feel its time to move. You have to move and leave everything behind, go through the grief, and do a similar settlement in your next spot, only for you to again get the impulse to move and do it again.
This is the play between home and travel.

Vision 5:

watchingmovie

Imagine you are sitting in a theater seat and watching a movie, and you go through the story with the hero suffering gains and losses. Suddenly you feel it is getting too much and you want to snap out of it and you come back to your theater seat. You realize that you were always in that seat, nothing has really changed, and the whole movie was an illusion. But then shortly after coming back to the theater seat and disillusioning yourself, you see something else interesting in the screen that once again enchants you, and you start to gain knowledge from investment. And this happens again and again.
This is the play between alternating enlightenment and non-enlightenment
This is the play between alternating knowledge and innocence.

 

Illusion and Madness are relative

What is reality? What is sanity?
What is illusion? What is madness?
The cultural/social/political/consensus way of seeing/interpreting existence forms the core of [REALITY and SANITY].
The most solid/enduring/unchanging formation (relatively speaking).
To diverge from this [consensus state of consciousness] and explore other states of consciousness is referred to as exploring [ILLUSIONS].
Illusions are by definition more fleeting because they are not reinforced and commonly held by the collective.
When this feedback mechanism stops, reality becomes illusion.
The sensory world gives the most consistent and enduring feedback and it is shared by all other sensory creatures. So we feel comfortable to call that the REAL WORLD.
Like you have a dream at night.
It is considered to be the most illusory thing because it is not validated/shared by ANYBODY around you and neither is that validated by the sensory input that kicks in the minute you are awake.
So it seems to me that [ILLUSION/MADNESS] represents reality that is [NOT SHARED], while [REALITY/SANITY] represents reality that is [SHARED].
Like if you imagine a BELL CURVE, anything at the ends of the bell curve slides into ILLUSION/MADNESS, while the CENTER of the BELL CURVE represents the CORE of SANITY/REALITY.

Another way to look at this from the personal level is to look at your own personal conditioning.
When you are in a state of mind that is fully in alignment with your DEFAULT MODE OF EXPERIENCE (CONDITIONED BY YOUR CONDITIONING) – you say you are SOBER/SANE/REAL.
Whereas, when you are in a state of mind that is very different from your usual mode/structure of perceiving existence – you say you are in an ALTERED STATE OF CONSCIOUSNESS/IN ILLUSION OR FANTASY.
Like say, to feel HUMAN (the experience of being human in a body) is normal/ordinary/sane/real.
Now, how will you interpret an out of body experience, say you feel like a bird and you are flying? Is it real? Is it an illusion?

To me, this question of real or illusion is more related to SOLIDITY than its PURE REALITY.
It also ties to the question:
What is more real? the visible or the invisible?
OR What is more real? – SOLID? OR LIQUID? OR GAS?
OR What is more real? – PHYSICAL BODY? OR HEART? OR MIND/IMAGINATION?
Suppose I release a bunch of smoke and it looks forms a figure.
Would that be less real, than if I showed you the same figure made in stone? or sand?
Usually what I notice is that – the reality of something is associated with its ENDURING-NESS and SOLIDITY.
What is fleeting, relatively unformed/fuzzy/wispy, is referred to as illusion.

In summary, what others call reality and illusion, I see it as:
PERSISTENT ILLUSION(Reality) ———-vs———- FLEETING ILLUSIONS (Illusion)
This is if I consider everything to be an illusion of different degrees.
OR I can also put it as:
PERSISTENT REALITY ———-vs———– FLEETING REALITY
UNCHANGING REALITY ———-vs———– CHANGING REALITY
This is if I consider everything to be reality in different degrees of enduring-ness.
This kind of breaks the duality between illusion and reality.
Illusion is real and reality is illusion.