Tag: Life

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What is the right orientation?

What is this ‘world’, ‘human being’, ‘duty’, ‘responsibility’,… crap?
Why does the world need so much effort to run?
Doesn’t everything just happen by itself?
Even if we disappear, the world will continue as it is, wouldn’t it?
Why do we strongly believe we are ‘required’ or ‘needed’ in any way
Isn’t that just a burdensome responsibility we unnecessarily shoulder?
All responsibility seems largely imagined
If everything is happening by itself, then where is the responsibility?
The concept of responsibility comes because of the need we feel to make reality correspond to some kind of ‘image’
Our eyes are looking at everything through the context of a dead concept, a dead philosophy, a dead principle, or a dead ideology
And we orient ourselves with that which creates the dream of needing to change things to other than the way they are
And to the degree to which that dead xxxx orientation is not in line with actual life movement, to that degree we suffer
And life keeps on moving
It may totally align with our dead xxxx, in which case, we feel that is the truth and harden it up to stone
And then later, as inevitable as it is, life changes
Then this same dead xxx we oriented ourselves with starts torturing us.

What is the correct orientation to have?
The correct orientation is DIRECT SENSING/EXPERIENCE (pointer)
Any holding on is inevitably going to cause pain
Because ALL IS CHANGING, ALL IS MOVING, ALL IS A DREAM.
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Life and Death, Desire and Fear

Fear = To catch-up/make up the deficit = making up for loss
Desire = expansion = gain

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Reminds me of the concept in Kabbalah of emptying your kli/vessel.
The emptying process is death -> emptying, passing -> descending
The filling process is life -> filling, arising -> ascending
When identity is a ‘partial filling’ (a something) -> then the extent of that something will determine how much there is to die.
[Fear] and [Positive Anticipation] are both moods – Fear is the mood of death, positive anticipation is the mood of life.
Now the important part here is that, gain and loss are simultaneous forces.
So these moods coexist, and oscillate between each other.
Life is when gain is greater than loss – creating the predominant mood of positive anticipation
Death is when loss is greater than gain – creating the predominant mood of fear
Life and death are both simultaneous forces.
They simply play with each other like day and night.
Darkness hides behind the light, and light hides behind the darkness.
Life and death are not linear processes that follow one after the other, like a sine wave.
They are more like this:

lifedeath

The central column which is formless non-dual, breathes in and out a dream of duality into existence.
And to the extent there is life there is also the fear of death.
They are inseparable opposites.
In a sense life and death are not 2 different things, they are one and the same thing like the poles of the same ‘magnet’.
What can we call this magnet that encompasses both life and death? – dharma/reality maybe?

In order to see daylight, you need to hold the implicit night in your perception.
And in order to see the dark, you need to hold the implicit daylight in your perception.
Similarly, one knows what life is only because there is death.
And one knows what death is only because there is life.
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Sympathetic and Parasympathetic Nervous system

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There is downward energy flow = para-sympathetic nervous system(psns) = sleep(surrender, rest, relaxation)
And upward energy flow = sympathetic nervous system(sns) = doing (includes all attention, consciousness, thinking, moving)
These are 2 energy flow directions.

The self/ego (conventional) = sns (it is an identification with a certain activity of ‘doing’/verb).
When satisfied or exhausted – psns takes over and sleep happens.
Highest sns/Lowest psns = highest waking point(waking)
Low sns/High psns = dreaming
Highest psns/Lowest sns = deepest sleep point(deep sleep)

sns = pingala = male = doing = solar = order = anti-entropy = motivation = seeking = waking/dreaming = left brain
psns = ida = female = relaxing = moon = chaos = entropy = de-pression = assimilating = sleep = right brain
sushumna = harmonizing = transparent = transcendent pov = neither wake nor sleep = turiya = corpus callosum(brain)
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The beginning of the Dark Night of the Soul

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The departure/fading of inspiration is the fading of the 7th chakra force (This is the feeling of being disconnected from God).
Each higher chakra has a subtler stronger force – like how ether is stronger than air, how air is stronger than fire, how fire is stronger than water, how water is stronger than food.
As inspiration fades, all the other chakras start collapsing like a melting painting until all of consciousness substance rests in the formless chaos ocean again.
One’s whole life dream fades back in the ocean once the inspiration is gone.
A new inspiration will then come as divine spark of rebirth – creating the beginning of a new wave.
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Others can never give you love

Others can never give you love.
That is the illusion.
You witness the love that they give you and that gives you permission to love yourself.
It is a core belief of: “I will give myself love only if it is proved by others i.e. by them validating that I am lovable”.
So all the love is not from others, or the world, or from objects.
It is all from you only.
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My practices

My endeavor is to just stay aware of the whole.
I orient myself to the effortless center point in each state.
I also observe the flow of energy from the ‘wholistic’ point of view.
I relax to such an extent that “my breathing and my doing” happen without the sensation of effort or resistance.
I work on letting go of various resistances, and understanding wisdom in deeper and deeper levels of subtlety.
I constantly endeavor to contact and stay in touch with life force, and allow more of it to flow through me by relaxing and taking in more.
I try not to pre-meditate or plan anything, and let go of such plans if I do have them formed in me, because holding on to such plans is a tension I feel.
I try to release tension, and when I cannot release it, I genuinely inquire into the reasons behind why I am holding that tension.
I endeavor to live in greater trust, and relinquish more and more control and knowledge (because control and knowledge both are forms of pain/contraction/grasping/holding-on/limitation), and let things come and go as they may please – including people, and I focus on what is really present and glide with those energy potentials only.
I stay as a pure conduit of effortless energy flow – nothing more, nothing less.
I am basically relaxing back into my ‘true self’, which works autonomously like my heart-beat.
I use writing as an conduit to let streams of coherent information come out, and to gain wisdom about my processes.
I also work on acceptance, which is basically non-resistance, and I observe all the emotions I feel as I do this practice, and then I have something to work on.
I follow my highest truth, highest motivation, highest integrity and live from the whole.
So I am in permanent contemplation of my own pain and pleasures at deeper and deeper levels.
I just relax more and more and encounter all the pain and suffering on the way with the intention of fully immersing and understanding each piece of suffering.
I see all suffering as my unconscious doing, and I gradually go deeper making this unconscious conscious and slowly go inwards.
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Parable of the Girl Next Door

Imagine there is a girl-next door.
You initially meet her briefly, say hi, speak a few words.
She makes you feel excited, mesmerized and really spikes your curiosity.
Now, say you have a lot of other girlfriends – 100’s of them.
And say you meet different ones each day.
Sometimes you meet them in groups too.
Each of your other girlfriends have specific qualities to them that you admire.
The next day, you start to look forward to meeting the girl next door
You tap on her door, and wait for her.
Again you 2 chat up for a while, and you come back once again feeling captivated and fascinated.
Now, this goes on for a while, everyday you chat with her for a while and get back to your life.
As you get to know more about her, she only seems to get more mysterious and interesting.
Generally, when you get to know someone fully, you tend to lose interest.
But this girl is captivating you more and more each time.
You get drawn to her, entranced, and more and more excited to spend more time with her.
You steadily increase the time you spend with her.
You spend hours at her house each day and it is never boring.
Eventually, you start to drop all your other engagements too with all your other girlfriends more and more.
This girl next door has all the qualities of your other girl friends and much much more.
She is a rich mystery, a plenitude, and always escapes your understanding.
After a while, you start to drop EVERYTHING, and spend all your waking time with her.
You even leave your own house, you leave all of your other girlfriends, everything.
All you want to do is spend time with her and invest everything you have got in her – your heart, mind, soul, body.
She is everything that you can possibly conceive of, or imagine, and yet much much more.
Everytime you try to understand her, it is like gold slipping through your fingers, you just cannot grasp it.
There is nothing you want to do, besides being with her totally all the time.
You want to merge with her, you want to become her, you want to become all that she is.
She is mesmerizing beyond your wildest dreams, and you are ready to lay down everything for her.
You spend 24×7 of your time with her now.
She is your all-encompassing absorption and trance.
Now you ask her to merge you into her.
She swallows you in her embrace.
You feel the increasing pain of your dissolution, as you are being absorbed into her body.
You feel you are losing yourself, your mind space is filled with the smoke of grief.
You are blinded, you cannot see anything.
But yet, you hold on even more, and you want her to absorb you into her.
You know she is a million times greater/grander/vaster/richer than anything you could ever be.
Your only desire is to union with her.
She pulls you in even tighter, and you give in more and more.
And finally you are absorbed into her and now you are ‘her’.
You live as her, experience as she does, and see as she does.

The spiritual path is very similar.
Here, you are the separate self/ego.
The girl-next door is the transcendent spirit object and your source.
The other girl-friends you have are all your other worldly desires/passions/interests/ambitions/hobbies.
The love affair that you have with the girl next door is the spiritual quest.
When you ask her to embrace you and absorb you into her – it is the Dark Night of the Soul.
When you finally fully merge into her, and start seeing from her eyes – you are the spirit itself.
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Love is the energy that upholds existence

Love is the energy that upholds existence.
When there is enough self-love(inherent-love), you are independent and self-sufficient.
[Again, as children, we are totally dependent on our parents and the potentials they have nurtured in us.
This may translate into self-love later.
Also there is love from existence itself which supports both you and your parents.
So in a totally mutually interdependent system of existence, one could argue that nothing is inherent.
But it appears that way, so I will continue to refer to it as such.]
When there is not enough self-love, you will start dying/withering/crumbling and you will have to rely on others love of you to keep yourself going.
And of-course, only the parts that they love will be sustained.
So even if they abuse you, you will take it and take that role, because they are loving that role in you (its better than nothing – it is some form).
So all parasitic manipulation – purposely creating dependency in others whether through establishing yourself as useful or important at work, or whether by seduction to make someone else like you and uphold you, or by making your family or children dependent on you – are all ways of ensuring your continuance by the others need of you – which is a form of love sustenance you are receiving form them.
So without inherent love, parasitic techniques are required to ensure the others give you supplies, creating the narcissistic dilemma of securing supplies all the time, because the narcissist himself cannot maintain his structure without others needing/feeding on it.
So such people will readily get into roles, various co-dependent relationships, controlling relationships, try to secure dependence from others, try to ensure there are others needing them, try to establish their value and worth through formalized institutions like corporations etc., or try to join outside causes – gang up with others – all these are efforts to get supplies of love sustenance through others.
It is a desperate way to live, no matter what technique you use.
Even drugs are actually the same thing, they provide experience structures to you and allow you to uphold those when under their effect.
So its all ultimately dependence on the outside to sustain yourself because you are not OK with what existence has inherently given you.
So detachment is about being OK with whatever is inherently with you and stopping all these complex mechanisms to get more than what you already have.
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Content vs Context

This is a really deep topic.
If Content is King, then Context is God.
Content is Ego while Context is Spirit.

When the spirit part of you is transforming or sick, it is going to create a terrible/hellish/despairish context.
When the context is that way, nothing in the world – good relationships, love from others, lots of freedom and money – all mean absolutely nothing.
Similarly when context is wonderful – you could be a beggar on the road and feel mystical wonder and beautiful.
Context/spirit is alive – it keeps changing/shifting/moving just like all alive beings do.
Also, context is timeless or beyond time.
Time operates within context, or time is part of context itself.
So you may feel ‘This NOW experience’ will last forever, rightfully so, since that is how it is perceived.
However, this experience/moment will surely pass just like any other context and warp your whole life timeline view(past-present-future) too with it.