Tag: Life

Posted on

The beginning of the Dark Night of the Soul

melting-dreams-p-j-lewis

The departure/fading of inspiration is the fading of the 7th chakra force (This is the feeling of being disconnected from God).
Each higher chakra has a subtler stronger force – like how ether is stronger than air, how air is stronger than fire, how fire is stronger than water, how water is stronger than food.
As inspiration fades, all the other chakras start collapsing like a melting painting until all of consciousness substance rests in the formless chaos ocean again.
One’s whole life dream fades back in the ocean once the inspiration is gone.
A new inspiration will then come as divine spark of rebirth – creating the beginning of a new wave.
Posted on

Others can never give you love

Others can never give you love.
That is the illusion.
You witness the love that they give you and that gives you permission to love yourself.
It is a core belief of: “I will give myself love only if it is proved by others i.e. by them validating that I am lovable”.
So all the love is not from others, or the world, or from objects.
It is all from you only.
Posted on

My practices

My endeavor is to just stay aware of the whole.
I orient myself to the effortless center point in each state.
I also observe the flow of energy from the ‘wholistic’ point of view.
I relax to such an extent that “my breathing and my doing” happen without the sensation of effort or resistance.
I work on letting go of various resistances, and understanding wisdom in deeper and deeper levels of subtlety.
I constantly endeavor to contact and stay in touch with life force, and allow more of it to flow through me by relaxing and taking in more.
I try not to pre-meditate or plan anything, and let go of such plans if I do have them formed in me, because holding on to such plans is a tension I feel.
I try to release tension, and when I cannot release it, I genuinely inquire into the reasons behind why I am holding that tension.
I endeavor to live in greater trust, and relinquish more and more control and knowledge (because control and knowledge both are forms of pain/contraction/grasping/holding-on/limitation), and let things come and go as they may please – including people, and I focus on what is really present and glide with those energy potentials only.
I stay as a pure conduit of effortless energy flow – nothing more, nothing less.
I am basically relaxing back into my ‘true self’, which works autonomously like my heart-beat.
I use writing as an conduit to let streams of coherent information come out, and to gain wisdom about my processes.
I also work on acceptance, which is basically non-resistance, and I observe all the emotions I feel as I do this practice, and then I have something to work on.
I follow my highest truth, highest motivation, highest integrity and live from the whole.
So I am in permanent contemplation of my own pain and pleasures at deeper and deeper levels.
I just relax more and more and encounter all the pain and suffering on the way with the intention of fully immersing and understanding each piece of suffering.
I see all suffering as my unconscious doing, and I gradually go deeper making this unconscious conscious and slowly go inwards.
Posted on

Parable of the Girl Next Door

Imagine there is a girl-next door.
You initially meet her briefly, say hi, speak a few words.
She makes you feel excited, mesmerized and really spikes your curiosity.
Now, say you have a lot of other girlfriends – 100’s of them.
And say you meet different ones each day.
Sometimes you meet them in groups too.
Each of your other girlfriends have specific qualities to them that you admire.
The next day, you start to look forward to meeting the girl next door
You tap on her door, and wait for her.
Again you 2 chat up for a while, and you come back once again feeling captivated and fascinated.
Now, this goes on for a while, everyday you chat with her for a while and get back to your life.
As you get to know more about her, she only seems to get more mysterious and interesting.
Generally, when you get to know someone fully, you tend to lose interest.
But this girl is captivating you more and more each time.
You get drawn to her, entranced, and more and more excited to spend more time with her.
You steadily increase the time you spend with her.
You spend hours at her house each day and it is never boring.
Eventually, you start to drop all your other engagements too with all your other girlfriends more and more.
This girl next door has all the qualities of your other girl friends and much much more.
She is a rich mystery, a plenitude, and always escapes your understanding.
After a while, you start to drop EVERYTHING, and spend all your waking time with her.
You even leave your own house, you leave all of your other girlfriends, everything.
All you want to do is spend time with her and invest everything you have got in her – your heart, mind, soul, body.
She is everything that you can possibly conceive of, or imagine, and yet much much more.
Everytime you try to understand her, it is like gold slipping through your fingers, you just cannot grasp it.
There is nothing you want to do, besides being with her totally all the time.
You want to merge with her, you want to become her, you want to become all that she is.
She is mesmerizing beyond your wildest dreams, and you are ready to lay down everything for her.
You spend 24×7 of your time with her now.
She is your all-encompassing absorption and trance.
Now you ask her to merge you into her.
She swallows you in her embrace.
You feel the increasing pain of your dissolution, as you are being absorbed into her body.
You feel you are losing yourself, your mind space is filled with the smoke of grief.
You are blinded, you cannot see anything.
But yet, you hold on even more, and you want her to absorb you into her.
You know she is a million times greater/grander/vaster/richer than anything you could ever be.
Your only desire is to union with her.
She pulls you in even tighter, and you give in more and more.
And finally you are absorbed into her and now you are ‘her’.
You live as her, experience as she does, and see as she does.

The spiritual path is very similar.
Here, you are the separate self/ego.
The girl-next door is the transcendent spirit object and your source.
The other girl-friends you have are all your other worldly desires/passions/interests/ambitions/hobbies.
The love affair that you have with the girl next door is the spiritual quest.
When you ask her to embrace you and absorb you into her – it is the Dark Night of the Soul.
When you finally fully merge into her, and start seeing from her eyes – you are the spirit itself.
Posted on

Love is the energy that upholds existence

Love is the energy that upholds existence.
When there is enough self-love(inherent-love), you are independent and self-sufficient.
[Again, as children, we are totally dependent on our parents and the potentials they have nurtured in us.
This may translate into self-love later.
Also there is love from existence itself which supports both you and your parents.
So in a totally mutually interdependent system of existence, one could argue that nothing is inherent.
But it appears that way, so I will continue to refer to it as such.]
When there is not enough self-love, you will start dying/withering/crumbling and you will have to rely on others love of you to keep yourself going.
And of-course, only the parts that they love will be sustained.
So even if they abuse you, you will take it and take that role, because they are loving that role in you (its better than nothing – it is some form).
So all parasitic manipulation – purposely creating dependency in others whether through establishing yourself as useful or important at work, or whether by seduction to make someone else like you and uphold you, or by making your family or children dependent on you – are all ways of ensuring your continuance by the others need of you – which is a form of love sustenance you are receiving form them.
So without inherent love, parasitic techniques are required to ensure the others give you supplies, creating the narcissistic dilemma of securing supplies all the time, because the narcissist himself cannot maintain his structure without others needing/feeding on it.
So such people will readily get into roles, various co-dependent relationships, controlling relationships, try to secure dependence from others, try to ensure there are others needing them, try to establish their value and worth through formalized institutions like corporations etc., or try to join outside causes – gang up with others – all these are efforts to get supplies of love sustenance through others.
It is a desperate way to live, no matter what technique you use.
Even drugs are actually the same thing, they provide experience structures to you and allow you to uphold those when under their effect.
So its all ultimately dependence on the outside to sustain yourself because you are not OK with what existence has inherently given you.
So detachment is about being OK with whatever is inherently with you and stopping all these complex mechanisms to get more than what you already have.
Posted on

Content vs Context

This is a really deep topic.
If Content is King, then Context is God.
Content is Ego while Context is Spirit.

When the spirit part of you is transforming or sick, it is going to create a terrible/hellish/despairish context.
When the context is that way, nothing in the world – good relationships, love from others, lots of freedom and money – all mean absolutely nothing.
Similarly when context is wonderful – you could be a beggar on the road and feel mystical wonder and beautiful.
Context/spirit is alive – it keeps changing/shifting/moving just like all alive beings do.
Also, context is timeless or beyond time.
Time operates within context, or time is part of context itself.
So you may feel ‘This NOW experience’ will last forever, rightfully so, since that is how it is perceived.
However, this experience/moment will surely pass just like any other context and warp your whole life timeline view(past-present-future) too with it.
Posted on

You will never get what you desire

You will never get what you desire, when you desire it.
This is because, “You can only desire what is not there now”.
That object that you desire is not there now because – the truth of your frequency and conditions ‘NOW’ does not match that of the object.
When you do reach the frequency and conditions to match that of the object, then, the object appears in your NOW.
But like I said earlier “You can only desire what is not there now”.
So when the object is part of your NOW, there is no longer desire for it.
All that has happened is the disappearance of the desire that was previously present.
This absence of desire would give you a temporary happiness, and then, the desire energy may redirect itself to some other object.
So “Chasing desires is like chasing a mirage”.
Posted on

Love and Fear are self-fulfilling prophecies

To fear is to expect [attack/destructive forces].
And to expect/anticipate attack is to attract attack.
One behaves like one is already guilty, and deserves punishment.
This frequency is picked up and attracts beings who punish/attack.
It is a recursively reinforcing circle/a loop/a self-fulfilling prophecy.

To love is to expect [nurture/enriching forces]
And to expect/anticipate nurture is to attract nurture.
One behaves like one is already blessed, and deserves nurture.
This frequency is picked and attracts beings who nurture/enrich.
It is a recursively reinforcing circle/a loop/a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Posted on

What is the difference between sex and love!

original-abstract-art-paintings-by-osnat-colorful-abstract-painting-454702

What philosophies do you want to have sex with?
What personality structures do you want to have sex with?
What thoughts/ideas/concepts do you want to have sex with?
What emotions do you want to have sex with?
What bodies do you want to have sex with?
Which music do you want to have sex with?
Which sights/pictures/images do you want to have sex with?
What potentials of life do you want to have sex with?
Which forms/objects of life do you want to have sex with?

I see sex = love, the same thing.
Making love to something = Having sex with something.
Colloquially, sex is referred to the physical act of penetration of genitals between 2 opposite sexes.
The other physical parts are called different things – making out, kissing, caressing, touching.
It’s just an INSAAAAAAANNNNEELY NARROW definition.
Every energy in the universe is having sex at all levels.
Ultimately we are having sex with life itself – all the time.
Shiva and Shakti are the ultimate lovers wrapping around like our DNA strands.