There are infinite awakenings

While taking a walk in the street, I felt a lot of fear.
I felt like this fear energy was obscuring/constricting/clumping my awareness greatly.
I felt like I was looking at reality through the dream of my fear.
Like if I could somehow take off the goggles of fear from my eyes, I would see reality as it really is.
This is spoken about a lot in the enlightenment circles, that you would see reality AS IT IS once the dream of the personal-self/ego disappears.

However I thought more deeply on this, and this did not seem to jibe with my experience.
A dream is real while it lasts, and it is the only reality until it lasts.
So what I was doing, was creating an abstract imagination of what ACTUAL REALITY would be like behind my dream structure of fear.
This was a mental object in my awareness – let’s call it [—Abstract ‘Actual’ reality–>>]
Then there was the [Sensory fear reality] object in my awareness, which included all the sights, sounds, and sensations of fear.
I called the [Sensory fear reality] object = Dream
And I called the [—Abstract ‘Actual’ reality–>>] object = Awakened reality (which is not an defined object, but more like a DIRECTION object]

[Direction Object = It is a term coined by me.
It is the extrapolation of a quality, it does not have an end, it is similar to a direction vector with arrows. For instance, I ask you to imagine an object infinitely far away from you. How would you imagine it? Think of some distance and keep stretching it out till you can hold it in your mind? That would be a direction object of imagination.
Compared to ordinary objects like body sensations etc.(vipassana parlance), direction objects are higher dimensional objects because they involve applying a transformation on a certain quality indefinitely and holding that in your mind space as a higher-object.]


So in the ONE awareness, I created 2 objects, and the practice I was doing was applying the [—Abstract ‘Actual’ reality–>>] direction-object/transformer-object on my [sensory fear reality] object as a SPIRITUAL PRACTICE.
So in a much larger perspective, I DREAMED(notice the caps) up 2 objects ‘dream and actual reality’ and the ‘effort of moving towards the actual reality from my dream position’.
Now again, if I sum up all this activity into a DREAM(caps), then again I am implying there is a reality beyond this DREAM(caps).
Then again there will be one more abstract imagination object created which would POINT TO a reality even beyond this DREAM.

This is a sort of recursive infinite loop.
It could be represented like this:
…dream5[awakenedReality4[dream3[awakenedReality2[dream1…]…]…]…]…

So there are infinite awakenings is what I am coming at.
It is not that you transcend your egoic dream and then awaken into nirvana and its OVER forever.
That is just one context.
Again there is the same recursion of contexts:
…context3[context2[context1…]…]…]…

What is the right orientation?

What is this ‘world’, ‘human being’, ‘duty’, ‘responsibility’,… crap?
Why does the world need so much effort to run?
Doesn’t everything just happen by itself?
Even if we disappear, the world will continue as it is, wouldn’t it?
Why do we strongly believe we are ‘required’ or ‘needed’ in any way
Isn’t that just a burdensome responsibility we unnecessarily shoulder?
All responsibility seems largely imagined
If everything is happening by itself, then where is the responsibility?
The concept of responsibility comes because of the need we feel to make reality correspond to some kind of ‘image’
Our eyes are looking at everything through the context of a dead concept, a dead philosophy, a dead principle, or a dead ideology
And we orient ourselves with that which creates the dream of needing to change things to other than the way they are
And to the degree to which that dead xxxx orientation is not in line with actual life movement, to that degree we suffer
And life keeps on moving
It may totally align with our dead xxxx, in which case, we feel that is the truth and harden it up to stone
And then later, as inevitable as it is, life changes
Then this same dead xxx we oriented ourselves with starts torturing us.

What is the correct orientation to have?
The correct orientation is DIRECT SENSING/EXPERIENCE (pointer)
Any holding on is inevitably going to cause pain
Because ALL IS CHANGING, ALL IS MOVING, ALL IS A DREAM.

Thoughts – Sept 7

Spectrums:
Habit(morphogenetic field, continuity, matrix)—————————Novelty (that which breaks it)
Order (Anti-entropy)—————————–Disorder (Entropy)
Natural————————-Artificial
They both go together like [self———other]

Evolution/Realignment from objective to the subjective – “what you think is what is true”
Its like “You see what you want to see”, “The reality you experience is exactly what you are holding on to (what you want, what you choose, what you desire)”
Then if everything is subjective, then what is the use of knowledge??
If everything is a dream, then what is the use of knowledge??
Knowledge then is for pleasure/transformation(which is deep pleasure), something you seek because you desire it, a potential available to you.
Knowledge is a modulator of reality.
Knowledge is exactly like food.
Hunger for knowledge is exactly like hunger for food.
Hunger and pleasure are stages within transformation.
Transformation stages:
Hunger for transformation ——-Gathering Material —— Consumption of material ——- Satiation——-Processing ——–Digestion/Assimilation/Absorption/Transformation ——New Hunger from transformed contents —- and so on.

By gathering knowledge, you are gathering experiences of specific temporal modulations(patterns) of reality.
These patterns of reality then cause a deeper transformation at a deeper intuitive level, which stays, even as the temporal pattern disappears or changes.
So in the spectrum of:
(tends to infinity) Unchanging ———|Intuitive|————|Experiences|———Changing (movement in visual field)

Nature -> Wind -> Dunes of sand.
Primal Force(god) -> Evolution Force (imprint of Primal Force) -> Genes (Imprint of past evolution)
Each left is a higher dimension version of the force on the right.
Every higher dimensional force has the power to create or dissolute lower dimensional force forms. (Causality is only an appearance in a structure maintained by a higher dimensional force which is free to dissolute or transform it at anytime)
That is why we have: spirit -> soul -> human body and so on.

What is the witness of the subtlest to the grossest objects?

This witness is a field, it subsumes all the subtle-gross objects and is fundamentally beyond.
Even to say it is beyond all the objects is incorrect.
Rather it includes and transcends.
The field is free of ALL the gross-subtle objects in it. They are all just an appearance in the field, and the field is completely inherently free from all these appearances, just like your TV screen is free of all the pictures that appear on it.
A better analogy is, it is like moving to a higher dimension where all the subtle-gross objects are only ONE of its possible appearances.

So, it is only belief that is the prison.
If you believe that there is an world outside of you, you have not transcended.
Whereas if you see the world is inside of you (your field) as an appearance, then you have transcended it.
You only outgrow the hypnosis of seeing yourself as a part of the world, into seeing the world as a possibility or appearance of the field that you are.
An even better analogy is of waking up from a dream and becoming lucid within the dream.
Now, you see all the dream objects and people as you, since you know that you are the dream itself and that the whole dream is your field.
Moving from being in a dream world, to seeing the whole dream field as YOUR APPEARANCE is the transition.