Transition from child to woman to man

manwomanchild

The symbology I attribute to child, woman, and man is as follows:
Child = Spirit
Woman = Heart
Man = Strength, Character, Action, Definition.

My hypothesis here is that (also based on my own experience):
We start off as spirit (infant/child)
Then our relationship with the mother (woman) forms our heart.
This also determines whether we will have a good heart or a dark heart, a closed heart or an open heart.
Thereafter once this process is complete, we go on to become the man via. the father and embrace the larger world/community.

So, every man is a woman (symbolically speaking, the way I described it above).
He grows into a man from the bed of the heart of a woman.
Similarly the woman then grows into being a man, which is like the plant emerging tall from the soil (symbol of phallus/obelisk).
That is why, if a child splits off the relationship/love with his mother, the results are disastrous.
He may try to kill himself – because of seeing himself as the creation of the mother, and the idea of “If the creator herself has rejected it, then I must reject it too”.
The child here is barred from loving anything, and is imprisoned in the dark night of soul, the dragon of chaos, because he/she needs love to emerge into form.
Whereas when the child splits off from the father alone, he may be filled with love, but have no direction of how to be or what to do in the world.

There are many other interesting branches opened up in this intuition.
For instance, if the woman hates/rejects the outer world in general, then that prohibits the child too from loving the world.
Because the osmotic transmission from the mother is that – “The world is terrible, you are better off hiding from it”
That imprint stays, and bars the child from bringing the world into his consciousness.
If the mother hates her body, then that imprint too gets across to the child as programming.
These programs get projected outward and the whole world and all the other physical people simply act as props for the manifestation of this deep metaphysical programming that has occurred.

We believe everyone lives in the same world? Really? Think again.
Each one of us lives in the unique artistry and tapestry of this programming and we literally live in different worlds entirely.
We understand each other from a deep connection to a shared being.
Somewhere the entirety of the collective human heart/mind is present within us, and we understand others to the extent to which we ourselves are connected to this.

The fire of desire enlivens reality

Fire

Desire is like the ‘fire’ or the ‘internal sun in you’ that upholds reality.
It comes from within you and enlivens all that you experience as the outside world.
The physical objects in the world are only “Props” for your “Projected desires”.
That is why when desire goes dim, all of consciousness goes dim.
Even the sensory world consciousness is largely/partly maintained from the “desire to survive”.
That is why when I’m alone in a safe place, I would often become oblivious to my surroundings.
The consciousness of everything rests on DESIRE.
Without desire, you would lose consciousness.
The world is kept alive and enlivened by YOUR DESIRE.

What is imagination?

child-imagination

What is ‘Imagination’?
Could I say it is ‘Creative capacity’, ‘Creative potential’, ‘Power to create’?
Could we also call it ‘Spirit’?
So, ‘Imagination’ = ‘Spirit’ = ‘Creative Force’ = ‘God’?
Spirit = atma?, Matter = anatma?
But then who created ‘anatma’ would be the question.
So, there is ATMA (notice the caps) which creates the seeming play between atma and anatma.
ATMA {atma, anatma}
GOD {god, non-god}
SPIRIT{spirit(formless), form}

In a way, what we call ‘THE WORLD’ is our conception of it or our interpretation of it.
It is a ‘Mental Representation’.
So reality APPEARS in a field of consciousness, and I am that field.
So I can say, reality appears in my imagination.

It is not that you possess the faculty/capacity of imagination, rather YOU are an appearance of your imagination.
You are your imagination’s possession.
Your imagination transcends what you call as ‘you’.
Paradoxical as it sounds, your imagination is beyond you, and what you call you is one of your imaginations.

Imagination is not a figment within space-time, rather, imagination is beyond and creates strings of space-time itself.
Imagination is the broadest context, the ground of all that exists.

Here is brilliant article on imagination:
http://www.awakeninthedream.com/god-the-imagination/
Excerpt:
“Being the “only immediate reality,” the divine, creative imagination is the primordial ground of “reality” itself. Paradoxically, at the same time that the philosophers’ stone revealed itself as a product of the alchemists’ imagination, the alchemists realized that they themselves — and everyone for that matter — were the imagination of the philosophers’ stone!”

What is dissociation metaphysically?

dali fall apart
I see a spectrum here:
[Your true position] —<—<[fear[for survival/for acceptance],guilt[the should dos/sacrifices for respect]]—- Disassociation is when you see your social-self/ego as an object.
When looking from the shadow position, you look at yourself as content like a dissociated observer from far away.
When one is born, one comes straight from the source and is connected to the full vital dimension.
Then the ego is given by the parents, it can survive throughout life more or less if it is close enough to the child's truth(vital supply), but if it is too far away, there will be a depression and collapse.
This happens via an internalization of an others' judgment and identification with that position/vantage-pt/pov.
That creates the distance from source, distance from happiness, distance from god.

Judgment of everything is always from different povs(point of views).
It is ‘one pole pov’ judging the ‘other pole pov’.
Like say ‘washing vessels’ -> it can be judged as a miserable job or a really loved wonderful job.
OR even things like masculinity, femininity, the world system right now.
If you are against everything, then you are hanging out in the shadow pole of everything.
To doubt is to be estranged and in the shadow.
The person who doubts everything is in the shadow of everything.

That is why a lot of spirituality involves increasing levels of dissociation.
Now dissociation means dissociation from your dominant structure, and association with a fringe structure.
So technically dissociation refers to disconnection with your survivalist socially programmed ego (in common parlance).
But what happens in dissociation is that you associate with another structure which can see your social self as an object.
All dissociative states give you a vantage point to view your social/conventional/regular self.
But insight does not imply full control.
Because it is like seeing the ecology of a forest from a helicopter. You may see patterns you never saw, but full control only comes from total understanding/mastery of the whole machine/system.
Now dissociative states are all ASCs(Altered states of consciousness) compared to the D-Soc(Default state of consciousness) which is your sober state.
[I have borrowed these terms from the book ‘States of Consciousness’ by Charles Tart]
So altered states(ASCs/Dissociated states) could take you further from or closer to source.
This can be known from direct feeling.
When you feel much better and feel much power, freedom, riches -> then you are getting closer to source of light.
When you feel much worse, tired, depleted, narrowed etc. -> you have moved away from the source of light.
Often however, the tiredness results from you trying to hold onto your d-soc as you explore altered states, like a bird tied to a pole by an elastic rope. So this constant pressure to come back can be responsible for wearing you out too.

Spectrum:
Source ———[ASC +](closer to source)———-enriching/empowering——- D-Soc———-disempowering/depleting————[ASC -](farther from source)

An ego/D-Soc performs spiritual inquiry[which is basically exploration] when there is not enough energy to power its own full structure. When the D-Soc/ego/socially programmed self is fully powered, it becomes transparent and the person shines through and beyond that structure as working on the structure/forwarding it in the world/the person who goes OUT IN THE WORLD etc.
When the D-Soc is under-powered, then the structure starts struggling to maintain itself, and this struggle/resistance REVEALS the structure [remember all consciousness is from resistance, a structure reveals itself only in disease/lack of energy. If it is imbued with energy, it becomes transparent].
So in such a condition one goes into spiritual inquiry and exploration.
More the suffering/lack of spirit sustenance energy for the D-Soc, greater the exploration impulse.

To give an analogy, if a civilization is in a utopian geographical location, with abundant resources inc. water and food etc. then there is no reason to explore other regions.
Whereas say in another region people are starving thirsty etc. then those people would go out of their way to find a way out, it would heighten all of their creativity [there definitely seem to be a connection between deprivation and creativity].

In truth, all of us as egos are fundamentally DISSOCIATED from god, which is why god appears as an object to us (i.e. god appears as an other to us).

Inverted pyramid of context awareness

inverted pyramid

Enlightenment is the shifting of identification to the higher context of the formless whole.
To explain what I mean by context, say a kid of age 3 bumps his head against a table top.
He immediately starts crying and the pain is felt and experienced as all-encompassing.
Now, imagine an adult of age 40, goes through a similar experience by bumping his head against a wall.
The pain itself would be quite similar, however, the adult would quickly rub his head with a short exclaim, and continue about his business.
What is the difference really between the experience of the child and the adult?
I would say the pain experience is similar, but the world of a difference is in the CONTEXT (in awareness) in which the experience occurs.
The adult views/interprets the experience in a much much larger context compared to the child.
So accordingly the event is relatively non-meaningful and non-salient, compared to how the child experienced it.

Another metaphor I like to use, is to refer to the breath/depth of context as “Aperture of consciousness”.
When the aperture is super wide, one has the experience of satori and bliss.
When the aperture is really narrow, one is deeply fixated in a narrow frame.
A silent mind, silent heart/emotion, silent body would imply a super wide aperture. (by silence I do not mean forced silence, but natural silence that is an outcome of the full and total processing of all experience in each domain)
An example of a super narrow aperture would be, if say a wild animal is in your living room. Suddenly all of your context shrinks into just the thought of that wild animal and your fight/flight/freeze response to it.

All is the ONE from different points of view

I had a few questions I was pondering about:
1 – Is Buddha better than Hitler?
2 – Is a Human better than an Ant?
3 – Why are only some recognized in the world, while others stay in the shadow all their lives?
4 – Why are only some people even seen, while others remain mostly unseen all their lives?
5 – We receive a programming which we do not consciously choose, and that determines whether we are enablers/good players in the societal dominance hierarchy OR whether we are outcasts/misfits/hermits/rejects/marginalized/fringe members in the game of society. What determines that?
6 – What is the higher truth regarding these matters?

As I pondered on these questions, I saw a much larger picture and context which answered them.
The higher truth I saw was that we all are the entire universe/ONE experienced from different points of view, and that consciousness is always infinite and absolute.

pov

Even the contents are just a play of foreground and background OR implicit and explicit.
The whole is always present which is [Implicit+Explicit].
The whole is playing within itself and exploring its own mysterious nature/possibilities/forms and looking at itself from different points of view.
It always stays whole (at all times), and therefore it is perfect at all times.
The whole is unchanging in its essential nature no matter what possibility it is exploring or what game it is playing.
It is just like how your computer screen stays undisturbed no matter what image it displays (each image is after all only one of the potentials of the computer screen).

The popular knows he is that through the unpopular and vice versa.
So both the popular and unpopular have access to both.
The whole only shifted its point of view between the popular and unpopular person.

The have/s live in fear, the have-not/s live in desire.
If you have something that someone else wants, they will want to take it from you – so you will live in fear and defense.
If you do not have something that the other has, you will desire to take it from them – so you will live in desire and scheming.
This can be as literal or abstract, depending on the case.
So identification with any CONTENT in consciousness will create desire or fear.
Whatever you are not – you will have to become – therefore you seek
Whatever you are – you can lose – therefore you protect
This is a double bind, if you are trying to find happiness.
I see real joy, happiness, and love can only be found in transcended freedom, else there is inevitably going to be the energetic contraction/limitation in the form of desire or fear.

So [creation destruction] keeps happening, it is just a flowing dream.
To reiterate, The whole = explicit+implicit.
So if your explicit reality is not good, your implicit one is (which is what you use as a background to even judge that your explicit reality is not good).
Similarly, if your explicit reality is good, then your implicit is not (that is how you can even know your explicit reality is good).
You have to always hold the opposite quality within you to apprehend the quality in front of you.
So to whatever number the dice of reality rolls, the other numbers of the dice are always present around it.
It is just the difference in the point of view.
The whole ALWAYS stays whole through any movement or any transformation.
Its essential nature has always remained the same as ‘CONSCIOUSNESS’.

Center of Consciousness and Force

HEAVEN (circle)
{——-7C——–Infinity
[6C – consciousness center] – center of shiva/consciousness/perception
——–5C——–Wisdom}
[4C – heart center] – center of shakti/force/love/desire
{——-3C——–Mind
——–2C——–Emotion
——–1C——–Physical}
EARTH (square)

Note: C = Chakra

Consciousness IS freedom

Consciousness IS Freedom itself.
To be totally conscious of something, is to be simultaneously free of it.
[To the degree to which you are conscious, to that degree you are free]
Consciousness is the liberator.
Consciousness is always (eternally) free of its contents.
The way to free yourself from anything is to become totally conscious of it.

To realize your nature as consciousness is to realize Shiva.
Shiva = Formless, Essence, Consciousness, and Freedom.
Shiva is eternally free from the dance of content, and rests in his nature.
Shakti is the dancer and mover.
Shakti = Maya, Form, Love(self/identification), Desire.
Shakti and Shiva are in perfect marriage with each other and are inseparably mutually arising in every experience – i.e. the marriage of consciousness and contents. They are ONE.

To return to the abode of Shiva, is to return to enlightenment, to realize one’s nature as Shiva (which also releases one totally – into total freedom).
Liberation is to journey between:
Shakti/Maya —->——>—— Shiva/Essence(Consciousness realization)

The creative void/Brahman

No experience I have ever had could be otherwise.
Everything is exactly the way it is, and experience is free-falling from the void and returning to it.
“I myself” as an apparent controller/agent am an appearance and part of this free-fall of experience.
It is as if life(manifest) spills out from death and returns to death(void) – The creative void.
This creative void endlessly spills out movies of experience and apparent subjects and points of view.
Also the world, other people, objects are all arising in consciousness which is the real substance all of it is made up of.
Consciousness or the manifest arises from this creative void – like a media player visualization.
This creative void has no substance, or nature, or form. Just as your eyes should not have any color in order that you see all outer colors clearly (else if your eye itself were tinted with a color, then everything would appear to take that color) – similarly, the Brahman/creative void is qualityless, quantityless, substanceless, natureless, formless.
The creative void is truly “Nothing” and “Everything” that is manifest now, is only 1 of its boundless/infinite possibilities.
The creative void/Brahman is even beyond concepts of ONENESS and INFINITY, because both of those are subtle mentations/ways of seeing, and that is only one of the possibilities of the creative void.
I can endlessly describe the creative void, but none of the descriptions ARE IT, because each description is only one of the forms of this void.
All that I write about is about the mystery of this creative void. It is a celebration of its mystery and wonder.

About heart/soul(symbolic) as the attunement instrument

All attunement happens from the heart.
The brain is then just an awesome instrument available in the attunement that the heart has chosen.
To take different perspectives, different points of view, see through different consciousness locuses/lenses, to tune into different worlds by altering frequency = done by heart/soul.
My primary ability is to take ‘different points of view’ and tune into multiple worlds and perspectives.
Perspective of a bird, insect, every creature/being, earth, celestial bodies – sun, planets, moons, and so on.
Each is a “unique and infinite” point of view.
Each is a realm, a world.
In my entire life, I have shifted tuning to millions of such worlds/realm.
What I see is that each point of view is an INFINITY.
I’m only moving from infinity to infinity.
My deepest knowledge from navigating all the worlds is in the relativity/validity/infinity/wonder of all worlds.
Any judgment I hold is transitory because the judgment is simply the output of energy channeled through a frame/orientation of mind. But what if each frame that the heart tunes to is an entire infinite realm. We are all only cosmic grand navigators, and the situation in the world is where people have concretized their imagination and have forgotten the real nature of their condition.
But yea, maybe this dream of limitation/concretization of perspective, and full conviction in an objective world has its place, its wonder too.
I feel like I’m the true traveler.
My intellect is just a powerful celebrator and instrument that illuminates whatever worlds my heart/soul chooses to tune into.
This is a game of hide and seek, a game of remembering and forgetting.
We are the supreme being itself, representing the greatest wonder and riches.