Contemplation insights from recent walk

One must empty oneself to experience the world without coloring. The persistent experience is what we experience as an enduring ‘self’ and that is the burden. Reach ground 0. Drop everything and trust. The same way you were when you came into the world. At each moment ask yourself ‘what is the persistent experience?’ That is precisely the ‘self’ burden carried. Experience like a child who is himself empty and the world is dancing emptiness. You must first be outside something to see that something clearly. I wish I would flow with no holding on to anything.

What is there to protect? Apart from attachments? And attachments are based on beliefs. All beliefs are unconscious anyway (else they would not beliefs). So consciousness = knowing = freedom. Fears focus/contract consciousness and fear is just a protection for something I want to protect. If I am nothing, then what is there to protect? That means I must believe I am something to feel fear. There is always identification behind fear which the fear merely protects.

There are 4 levels – enhancing life, supporting life, impeding life, destroying life. Good is the former 2, evil is the latter 2.
These forces could exist in all dimensions – i.e. physical, astral, mental, belief realms. Enhancing life is freedom, impeding life is imprisonment.
If you have anything to protect, any identification, then its a burden. And that identification invariably carries fear as its protector. No identification should be done even with the concept of freedom or good. Just identify with the ultimate truth. You will then serve the ‘whole’ as an (enhancer).

Once my own ego is dissoluted, until I find my higher will center, in-between, the world just becomes a mine-field of others egos. The only task is to negotiate with other egos, survive and somehow find your way to your original will.

The giver and receiver can be reversed in their roles when seen from a different perspective. The one who takes attention vs. the one who gives attention. This giving-taking relationship is an empty pattern. Its all smoke, generates from nowhere and gets pulled into nowhere. And this kind of relationship stays constant in its pattern until the belief of either the giver/taker is changed. Even the realities attracted by a person in a certain pattern of relationship happen instantaneously. This is not in time, and will go on eternally enacts the pattern until there is a change. The giver and receiver duo are just a pattern in emptiness. That is why it is said, your vibration, who you are, that root code, which is invisible beliefs, attracts and creates the whole experience of your reality and all its relationships.

Its a fractal pattern inside the larger life fractal.
So it adds additional dimensions of limitation on the larger life fractal reality. The ‘relationship fractals’ are simply triggered in you from the world objects including other people. So each and every relationship reveals – the CAUSAL unseen parts of you, your identifications, the invisible beliefs you carry, that cause you to have such a relationship. Unconscious frozen beliefs and mental models is what creates your current limited reality experience, the entirety of it. The entire reality experience is like moving smoke in an empty background. What appears to be crystallized is not the outer world and other people but the causal belief layer. We choose fear instead of joy because we believe what we fear is real, unconsciously. If it were conscious and we could choose whatever emotion we want, we would obviously choose joy.

It’s like there is a code running a computer game. Every element and relationship in the game you observe reveals its invisible underlying code.

All physical fear of bodily harm, loss of function, loss of faculties, and so on is from identification with the body. All mental fears of being influenced by other people’s thoughts is from identification with thoughts or thought models. All fear of being controlled is identification with the notion of agency.

In simple words it is loss of self that we fear. Loss of objects we identify with. Attachments too are secondary since they are for objects that support identification. For example if you believe you are intelligent then you are attached to all objects that validate and enhance that idea.

Identification is primary, attachments are secondary and exist for the support of the identified. Desire is for everything that enhances the identification. Desire is similar to attachments except that attachment is the holding on/possession force while desire is the seeking energy. Desire is the precursor to attachment. First desire – then possession – then attachment for what is in possession – then desire to enhance this network of identification and its ‘supports’. All this is a fractal inside the larger fractal of existence itself we could call god reality. The narrower our identification, the narrower our attachments, the narrower our desires, the narrower our reality will be.

Desire is always there. It is only the identification that changes in enlightenment. The identification gets broader and broader until it is ‘all that is’ and then desire always serves to enhance identification. In enlightenment since identification is for all that is, the desire is to enhance everything. We can call this universal love. Love is basically the desire to enhance and identify with. There is no fear in enlightened desire because identification is with the indestructible ‘I am’ consciousness.

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