The experience of the Fire of God

In this lifetime, I had millions of potentials in experiences appearing on and off with varying intensity.
I tapped in and out of a million unconscious inspiration energies.
That unconscious inspiration in myriad (1000000000…) flavors in movement is so beautiful/desirable.
The desire is for spirit which is what I seek to find in psychedelics.
A kind of transition from waking to the dreaming realm of the spectrum with vaster possibilities.

For an analogy, say your life is like a TV screen is showing the same images again and again with very little movement, but suddenly explodes into this kaleidoscope of colors and other fantastic imaginations. That signal, electricity that is animating and moving the TV images is God.
So I’m not talking about the manifest at all, but the spirit energy driving it.

That potential energy/unconscious force of inspiration pushing manifestations/creations, that creative force, that spark, that spirit is the MOST desirable thing EVER.
That is the force of God, spirit, the spark, the moving energy, the presence of potential, inspiration, drive, curiosity, motivation, fervor, zest, vitality, ecstasy, the awareness of unconscious inspiration force. That Fire.
That FORCE is the God force.
The force that makes you move, dance, cry, sing, feel, connect, relate, express – all emotions, feelings, sensations, perception etc.

The experience of infinite potential energy, THE UNMANIFEST FORCE that propels the manifest is the experience of the fire of GOD.
So the dark night is precisely that, a great reduction of this VITAL UNMANIFEST FORCE as a result you feel something terrible has been lost but you cannot put your finger on it.