– I’m constantly on the lookout for appearances that would give me what I am denying myself.
– I’m constantly looking out for appearances that would quell all ‘presence of absence’ so that there is only presence.
– It occurs to me, if you are fully aware of the presence of absence of ‘Something’ then all that is needed to be done is to transcend it and give yourself that ‘Something’ you missed.
– To be aware of the presence of absence of ‘Something’, that implies you know exactly what that ‘Something’ is.
– So in a true sense, you can never really say ‘I do not know what I want’.
– Whats preventing you from fully experiencing that ‘Something’ you denied yourself in that case?
– There is some belief/belief network you are unaware of because the minute you become aware/observe this belief network, it is transcended and seen for what it is.
– Removing beliefs is a bit like a the ‘short term memory picture test’.
– When you find all the same picture blocks they disappear. Similarly we test spiritual insights with the contents of our memory and experience causing the insight to get more and more internalized.
– Like take the statement ‘Everything is made up of consciousness, the one substance’. Now verify this with all all the contents of your immediate experience (all the contents of your memory).
– So if you have internalized an insight logically and to a beginner level experientially, then you can take a substance that enhances memory access/recall/unblocks/frees it or a good psychedelic to sift through your memory folders and investigate if it meets the insight.