Gifted children and their recognition in society/Friendships and Romantic interests

I was just wondering, the gifted people that make their way into the media are probably just a very small % of the total number of gifted people. Sometimes geniuses are recognized by society late and these geniuses often report not fitting into society and struggling during their childhood, schooling and college days due to a variety of reasons such as the education system which greatly favors sequential learners.

I can see 3 possibilities:

  • Either society recognizes them in the later part of their life. They gain fame, respect and admiration.
  • Many artists live lonely lives, create great work and even die in this oblivion and society catches and appreciates their work many centuries later.
  • They are simply not recognized ever

The last option sounds the most disturbing to me. But I also see that this is the option that’s most likely. Society itself is built on a set of rigid morals and beliefs. Anything outside the purview of these is not considered significant. Most thinkers who question fundamental beliefs are simply categorized with some psychological disorder or in common language ‘crazy’.

I also wonder about the more fundamental question of “Why do I care if I’m recognized or not?”
Even if I am, they would never see the real truth that makes up who I am. Even I do not know that. The person closest to me is ‘me myself’ by a long shot. People would just admire me for a very small manifested part of me and even that would come with its reasonable/unreasonable expectations.

Its like people judge me at different levels:
1. Superficially by my looks, behavior, body language
2. Maybe by common context, special interests
3. Based on common beliefs, values

But I’ve never gone deep enough with anyone to a level where they can actually understand the matrix behind all my dreams, beliefs, conditioning and beyond.

A true friend in common definition would be “someone who unconditionally wishes well for you”. Even saints are like that right. Why is the saint not your true friend then?

Say a friend can almost see the matrix that creates you, would a true friend be a person who understands you extensively at deeper levels too? But what if he does understand you completely, but you do not get validation or appreciation because of contrasting beliefs between you two?
Those situations are very disturbing and common in romantic relationships too. Its like you’ve invested so much in making the other person understand why you are what you are, what makes you behave in certain ways, on what basis you formed your beliefs, your different inclinations etc. In the end, sometimes the other person simply does not agree with you because of some fundamental differences in nature or conditioning. Since you have invested so much, you cannot imagine actually getting a negative return for that. You want the other person to at the least validate all of that. That is like a break-even. Ideally you would want to be deeply admired or even adored.

So we measure the quality of relationships based on:

  • To what depth they understand you.
  • The outcome of that: Acceptance/Validation – Admiration – Deep Admiration – Adoration
  • Level/Number of shared experiences/contexts/situations
  • Commonalities in beliefs, interests, ideas, ways of thinking, conditioning.
  • Integrity wrt. bonding values such as: Respect for the other, tolerance, privacy

I can also see another global variable factor that is, how intimate is the person with himself or herself determines how intimate he can be with you. Just like we learn sexuality by exploring ourselves first. The more you know and understand yourself, the more you can understand the other.

Understanding art or musical giftedness involves you yourself having that potential. If you absolutely cannot sing in tune, it is very difficult to understand how a musician might hear music.

I hope that some day I find someone who operates at the same level in terms of seeing through the matrix of our existence. I hope to live an unbounded life with such a person.

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